Your Fight is My Fight
by blackwand84
Summary: Set from "The Chamber of Secrets" to after Deathly Hallows 2. An American witch comes to Hogwarts as a Magical Performing Arts teacher and befriends the lonely Potions Master.
1. An American and a Werewolf in Paris

_**As of 6/8/12 "Tamara" has her own Twitter account! To interact with the OC from this story, go and follow tamarasnape on Twitter!**  
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_Disclaimer: Harry Potter obviously isn't mine. I do this for fun, for my own amusement. This story is the first thing I have written in ten years, so it is me scraping the rust off of my brain! Please keep that in mind and forgive me. I was inspired to return to fanfiction after a long break because I just couldn't stand to see Severus Snape die a solitary man who had never felt loved. Tamara Brookes is my original character. I set my story in the world of the H.P. films rather than the books for the most part although there is some information in here I got from the books that was not in the films. There are a few things that stray a little from what happened in the films but I tried to write this as if it could have been going on behind the scenes. I don't claim 100% accuracy, and I know this story is far from perfect, but I think it could be a fun read! Thanks for taking the time to check it out! I got to thinking tonight and it occurred to me that if there were an actress I'd like to see as Tamara it would be Zooey Deschanel. I think she could capture Tam's quirky spirit._

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><p>Tamara smiled somewhat sadly as she picked up the small framed picture and situated it prominently on her new desk. It was, as were many in the wizarding world, a moving image. She and Remus were grinning out of the frame, and every few seconds would give each other a happy smooch. She sighed, thinking of their last goodbye.<p>

Tam had known that they were not to be forever, the two of them. That didn't make it any easier to bid farewell to her beloved werewolf. They had met quite by accident, in Paris, at a wizard bar seven months before. She had just come from America, and he, due to some circumstances out of his control, had no choice but to move around frequently and had decided getting out of Britain for a while would be a nice change. That was how he had explained it to her anyway.

She had heard him ordering a pint in badly mangled French, and approached him recognizing an Englishman. It was a relief, as her own French was very little and very poor. He was sweet, and offered to help her find her way around. That had been the start. They didn't separate much after that for the next seven months.

He had of course, waited a while to tell her the truth about himself. He was a werewolf, bitten as a child, and had spent his life living with the unpleasant curse that made it nearly impossible for him to settle into one place or lifestyle for very long. She would never forget the day that he had decided to confide in her.

They'd known each other for three weeks, when she began to notice a change in him. He'd become fidgety and nervous it seemed, and acted like he was afraid of something. Being an admitted meddler, naturally she confronted him about it. He hadn't wanted to tell her the truth, fearing how she might react, but he knew he shouldn't hide it so close to the time of the full moon, for her safety.

They'd been sitting together on the little couch in his rented room and he didn't look her in the eye at all as he told her the story, only afterward, as he tried to gauge her feelings on the matter.

"Oh Remus I'm so sorry" she said quietly. She grabbed both of his hands. "It must be very difficult for you. Nobody should have to go through all that, and especially not someone as sweet as you are."

He shrugged and mustered up his usual smile. "Things happen to people that shouldn't sometimes but that is the way of the world isn't it?"

She nodded and kissed his hand, which made him chuckle.

"Well," he was searching her face with his eyes now. "You haven't run for the door yet, so can I take that to mean you still wish to be friends?"

She laughed. "Of course I do! You thought I wouldn't? It's not your fault what happened to you, and I'm no shrinking violet I assure you. I love a man who needs looking after; it's one of my greatest weaknesses."

He grinned at her, relieved. "Well, I'm afraid that at those inconvenient times it isn't precisely safe to try looking after me. That's why I had to tell you the truth now. The full moon will be here by the weekend, which means you and I have to keep our distance for a few days."

"What? No way! I am not taking off on you when you're going to go through all that awful stuff. You shouldn't have to be alone…."

Remus cut her off by putting a finger to her lips. "I'd kill you Tam." She could see in his eyes that he wasn't joking. Seeing her expression he nodded gravely. "I'm not myself when I'm changed and it isn't safe. You'll have to do without me for a few days. I'll come and find you when it's all over and you can help me tend my wounds if you like." He smirked at the last sentence.

"Wounds?" she cringed.

He nodded. "It can get a bit messy, yes, so if you want to help me _after_ that I would really appreciate. It's just _during_ that is a problem."

She didn't like it, but at least he'd given her something she could do for him when it was over. She leaned back against his chest and set her head carefully on his shoulder He put an arm around her and she could feel his heartbeat through his shirt. Something else seemed to have him riled.

"So what else is bothering you?"

He chuckled. "You're good."

"Empath remember? It starts with a gift for reading people. Your heart's near pounding out of your chest."

He grinned widely, when she looked up at him, and he was blushing furiously. "Well, it's just that… I've got very keen instincts you see."

She raised an eyebrow in question.

"Look at it like this" he explained. "A male dog knows when a female dog is… interested. See what I'm getting at?"

Now it was her turn to blush. "Good Lord."

He laughed at her embarrassment. "Yes, and it gets stronger around the full moon. I'm afraid you've been absolutely torturing me for three days."

She hid her face in her hands and giggled for a while. When he thought she had recovered, she looked at him again, and burst into another fit. He joined her this time. They couldn't help it.

"I must admit I wasn't entirely sure at first, as I don't really get that sort of attention very often" he teased. "The closer it's got to the full moon the better idea I had. It's had me a bit flustered."

She finally managed to subdue her giggles enough to speak to him again. "Sorry for that" she managed.

He looked shocked. "Sorry? Don't be sorry. I don't _mind._"

She kissed him.

That was the day they had become lovers. She remembered every detail, and had promised herself never to let go of any of it. They'd spent a glorious spring in Paris together until he had announced to her that it was once again time for him to move on, and asked if she'd like to go with him back to London. He promised to take her to the infamous Diagon Alley and help her get "A proper English wand" to replace her now rather shabby American one. She had laughed to him about how it was true that they just didn't make things in America like they used to.

In London they had rented a flat, and Remus did indeed take her to Diagon Alley and to Ollivander's, where she had found a lovely ebony wand with a dragon heartstring core that she immediately bonded with. It was meant to be _hers_ and Remus insisted that he must buy it for her, as his way of introducing her to the wizarding community of Britain. She knew he didn't have much money, as a result of it being difficult for a werewolf to find and keep employment, so she had at least made sure that their arrangement with the landlady involved Tamara being the one responsible for paying the rent.

That summer in London was the best she'd ever had, and now, standing in her new classroom at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she swiped a tear away from her cheek with her palm. She missed him.

It hadn't been her idea to become a teacher here. In fact, she really hadn't had much idea of becoming anything at all. She'd been content with the idea of following her werewolf around the world. It was he who had refused that, and he who had written to Professor Dumbledore on her behalf.

Remus had told Dumbledore that she was skilled in using magic for the purpose of art and entertainment. To her, it had been nothing more than a hobby, and a way to make Remus smile in the evenings, but he saw it as a true talent, and thought it should be shared with others.

The Hogwarts headmaster had replied expressing great desire to have a magical performing arts program at the school, and so it was that she had found herself here, rather against her will.

"I don't want to do this if it means leaving you. Why can't you just come along if you want me to do it?" She had practically begged him.

He had once again shaken his head at her. "Tam, I told you before, I don't settle in anywhere for too long. I can't. It may seem a quite romantic way to live, but eventually, I assure you, it gets old. I won't have you carrying the burden along with me when it isn't your burden to bear. You're a decade younger than I am, and you deserve a real chance at making a life for yourself."

The tears had flowed once again, as they had off and on since he'd first told her that they wouldn't be continuing on together as she'd hoped.

He looked miserable. That was one of the hardest parts for her. She knew he didn't _want_to give her up. "Don't cry again Tam, it pains me so."

He hugged her tight to him, and continued. "I don't want to regret us. I've been happier these months than I've been at all in my adult life. I want us to part knowing that we'll always have each other in our hearts with no ill will or bad feeling. You will always have me right here with you." He placed his hand over her heart and seeing the hope in his eyes, she put her hand on his chest over his heart as well. He smiled, tears glinting in his eyes. "Yes my dear, just like that. I'm sending you off to my old school, where I had happy years, where I know you'll do great things. If you ever have need of me, you know I'm only an owl away. I promise you."

That had been the end of her argument, as he had hoped it would be. She couldn't fight him on it anymore, because she knew that he wouldn't give in. The last thing either of them wanted was to part on bad terms. She would go ahead and embrace the opportunity he'd won for her, and they would remain friends. At least it meant she could keep up communication with him.

Seeing the battle won, Remus spoke up again on another matter. "Tam, now that's settled, I need to ask a favor of you."

"Anything" she whispered.

"There is a boy who will be returning to Hogwarts for his second year this year. He is the son of some very dear departed friends of mine, and I wonder if you could perhaps keep an eye on him for me. He'll be well protected, of that I have no doubt, but I'd appreciate it if you could stand by in case he needs someone. Even if it's just someone to be of some cheer to him should things look bleak. If you could do this for me, I would find it a great relief."

Tamara nodded. "Certainly I can do that. How will I know the boy?"

"His name is Harry. Harry Potter. I haven't seen him since he was just a baby but I'm told he looks like his father."

Remus pulled a picture out of his jacket pocket and showed it to her. There were four teenage boys laughing and jostling each other. One of them she recognized right away as Remus himself and she couldn't help but smile.

"There's a handsome young fellow" she said.

He chuckled "Well, that's not the one I want you to look at." He pointed to the boy in the middle, who had dark hair and glasses. This one looked a bit arrogant to Tamara, obviously the _Leader of the Pack_. Remus was on one side of him, and on the other side was a handsome richly dressed boy who had brown wavy hair almost to his shoulders. The fourth in the photo was a short blonde pudgy youth who was looking at the middle one in something like adoration.

"James Potter" Remus gave a name to the _leader_ as she had come to think of him. "Harry is his son, and who I want you to look out for."

"Who are the other two?"

He looked uncomfortable at her question. "Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew" he said quietly, and stuffed the photo back into his pocket. "Anyway, thank you for this Tam. Before you go I need to make you aware of some things from the not too distant past."

Having only recently come to Britain, she hadn't ever heard the story of The Boy Who Lived. Remus told her all about _HIM. He Who Must Not Be Named_and about the resistance efforts against _Him_ and how young Harry Potter's parents had died trying to protect their only son. He had told her how somehow the baby had survived. The only one to ever survive an attack from _Him_ had also somehow; it was believed, brought about the evil wizard's mysterious disappearance. Naturally Tamara found it all to be terribly intriguing, and was pleased to be able to play some part with the boy on Remus' behalf. She'd told him so, and he had thanked her again.

On the day of her departure he had kissed her goodbye, and she had cried some more before departing via floo for Hogwarts. She'd agreed to go, but she didn't have to like it. He'd told her that he would stay in London for a while longer, and make sure the flat was secured properly until she returned to it for summer break, before he left onto his next temporary home. As long as she remembered to send the rent in to the landlady every month on time, she would have the place to come back to. She made sure to remind him that _he_ had the place to come back to as well if he ever needed to.

Now, standing in her classroom, arranging her things where she wanted them, their time together seemed a lifetime away instead of only two short days.

Tamara aimed her wand at another box, and its contents slowly began floating out and arranging themselves around the room. Dumbledore had done beautifully with getting her the items she'd requested for the classroom. Instruments of all kinds lined the room, and a fabulous piano was its centerpiece. She felt a bit of a fraud, actually, as she had no idea at all how to play most of the instruments properly. She could play absolutely _anything_with magic though, and that was what she was here to teach the students. She would show them how to project and sweeten their voices through their wands, and make any music with a little focused magic. She would teach them how to use their power to create artful entertainment, as she so often did herself at home for fun.

In truth, if it hadn't been for the unpleasant fact of having to leave Remus, she would have been quite thrilled by her new job. Hogwarts was amazing, and so far everyone she'd met had been lovely. The idea of pioneering a whole new professional option in the wizarding world was of course also very appealing. If she did it well, it could really take off. For someone who hadn't really had many goals before, she was definitely on the right track.

Another perk, in her opinion, was that Professor Dumbledore had agreed to help her brush up on her own magical skills by scheduling some time for her to sit in on some classes. The American wizarding education was lacking, at best, and around European wizards and witches Tamara felt like quite an amateur.

"Miss Brookes" said a voice from the doorway, startling her out of her memories. It was Dumbledore himself. "I do hope you are settling in well?"

"Oh yes, thank you! It's great." She smiled at him gratefully.

"I'm so glad you think so" he smiled back. "I wanted to speak with you about a few small matters, if you have some time."

She nodded.

"Good. I had been thinking, since you never attended the school yourself unlike most of our staff, and since you were intending to participate in some classes as a student yourself, it might be a nice idea to have you sorted into a house. Normally I wouldn't suggest such a thing for a teacher, but in this special case I feel it might help you gain a better feel for how things work here at the school." His eyes twinkled. "Also, I think it might make a nice bit of fun don't you?"

Tamara grinned at him. "Yes, that's fantastic! Remus told me a lot about his time as a student here and I admit I was terribly jealous. I'd love any opportunity to experience what it's like to get an education here."

"Excellent! The first year students are all sorted on their first night here, which as you know will be in three days time. For yourself, I think it best if we do it privately, as I don't wish for the students to wrongly assume you to be more one of them than you are one of the staff. Our sorting hat is in my office, if you'd like to follow me."

Tamara couldn't help but look all around her on her way through the castle with the Headmaster. She found herself always distracted by the many wonders whenever she was in the corridors. She just couldn't tear her gaze away. It was for this reason that she suddenly got a face full of black fabric and buttons, and was nearly sent sprawling onto her backside.

"Excuse me" said a very deep and quite irritated voice from nearly a full foot above her head.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" she gasped, feeling like a complete idiot. She looked up to see the face that the buttons belonged to, and there, towering over her, was a rather intimidating man with jet black hair that hung past his chin, a slightly large nose, and eyes that were so dark they were more black than brown. He was dressed all in black as well, and his long wizard's robes made him a very imposing figure. She stared, wide eyed.

"Ah," said Dumbledore "Severus! I'd like to introduce you to our new Magical Performing Arts teacher, Miss Tamara Brookes."

Tam was still staring, and the man raised an eyebrow at her, no doubt wondering if she were daft, or if she'd crashed into him hard enough to jar her brain.

"Hello" she finally squeaked.

He extended his hand stiffly, and she shook it, feeling a tingle all the way up her arm when she touched him.

"Pleased to meet you Madam" he said slowly.

_Oh that voice is just too much…_she thought to herself.

Dumbledore spoke again. "This is our esteemed Potions Master, Severus Snape. He is the head of Slytherin house."

Tam smiled at the newly introduced Professor, and forced herself to return his "Pleased to meet you." She cringed inwardly at the way her voice cracked.

"Actually, Severus, if you aren't headed for anything pressing at the moment, I wonder if I could persuade you to accompany us. I've asked Minerva to meet me in my office as well, as I was just taking Miss Brookes up to be sorted."

Snape shot Dumbledore a questioning look. "Sorted Headmaster? Why would it be necessary to sort a teacher?"

"Miss Brookes is American, obviously, and for that reason she didn't attend school here at Hogwarts. She has told me that she feels her magical education was rather lacking, and requested that she be allowed to take some classes here to better it. I thought under the circumstances that it would be wise of us to have her privately sorted, just to get a feel for what classes she should be placed into, and give her a taste of what being a student at Hogwarts means."

The towering black eyed man appraised her thoughtfully with his eyes, before nodding to Dumbledore. "I see. As it is, no I don't actually have anything pressing to attend to at the moment Headmaster."

"Excellent." Dumbledore started walking again in the direction they'd been heading before Tamara had collided with the Potions Master.

She knew she should follow him but she was still staring at Snape, and couldn't seem to persuade her feet to move. He looked straight into her eyes for a moment and she had a slightly strange sensation in her head. It passed as quickly as it had come, and the man gestured with a decidedly smug smirk for her to go ahead and follow Dumbledore. She knew she was blushing furiously, so she forced herself to look away from him and get on with their journey.

Tam tried to pay attention to where she was walking this time, but was keenly aware of the steps of the tall wizard behind her. She was quite ashamed of herself. _I've been away from Remus for two days and now I'm turned into a total zombie by bumping into a stranger?_

She wasn't sure what had struck her so about this man, but it had a huge effect. He was… different. His very _presence_ was completely overwhelming. All that black, draped over a man who was certainly over six feet tall with features as strong as his would certainly make an impression on anyone, but there was more to it than that. He positively _dripped_ with power and authority. She wondered how his students could possibly accomplish anything knowing they'd have to present their results to such a being.

When they finally reached the Headmaster's office, there was an older woman waiting for them outside. She was also taller than Tamara, though nowhere near the height of Professor Snape. Dressed in beautiful velvet green robes, with a witch's hat placed elegantly upon her head, she too struck quite a figure. She nodded to Dumbledore and Snape and smiled kindly at Tamara.

"Miss Brookes" she said, extending a hand, which Tam accepted. "It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Minerva McGonagall, I teach Transfiguration, and am head of Gryffindor house."

Tam smiled. "Wonderful to meet you Minerva! Your robes are beautiful." She couldn't help herself, it had to be said.

"Oh, why thank you!" Professor McGonagall seemed surprised by the compliment. Tam noticed peripherally that Snape was smirking at her again and felt her face flush once more.

The wonders inside Dumbledore's office naturally captured her attention immediately. She wondered vaguely if the other professors would think her raised by muggles due to her fascination with what she was seeing at Hogwarts School. In truth, both of her parents were magical, but had decided to live outside of the wizarding community. Tamara knew her way with a wand, and was well aware of what existed in magic, but getting to see it all up close like this was a treat to her.

Dumbledore removed a large, and rather beaten up old hat from a high shelf, and turned toward her. "Miss Brookes, if I may, I must place the hat upon your head to determine to which house you are best suited."

Professor McGonagall spoke up "Headmaster, I wonder if it would be wise to give her some information about the houses first, so she has some idea of what this all means."

Dumbledore simply smiled, and to Tamara's great amusement the hat began to sing.

Tamara laughed out loud. "That's fantastic!"

Dumbledore set the hat on her head, and after a few seconds it spoke to her. "Hmm" it began. "You're a study in contradictions you are" it mumbled, sounding amused. "_Not_ a Ravenclaw though, no. Got the nerve for Gryffindor… loyal as a Hufflepuff, to be sure… but…" it paused dramatically. "There's more to you than most would notice."

Tam thought to herself that truth be told, she was a tad disappointed that the hat hadn't mentioned Slytherin house in regards to her. She had actually read about the different houses in _Hogwarts: A History_on the train and though nobody would probably have guessed it who knew her, she personally had believed if given the chance she'd have ended up a Slytherin. She had a dogged determination to win what she wanted once she realized she wanted it, and she knew that although she was a kind person with deep loyalty to those she loved… she wasn't against using whatever means she needed to make her way. She knew there was a bit of prejudice against the house, but she herself believed it to be unfair. Wasn't it quite wise to look out for one's interests? Also, she _was_in fact a pureblood witch. Being so really meant nothing much to her either way, honestly, but wasn't it common for purebloods to end up in Slytherin? Besides that, it might be an adventure indeed to be sorted into the house of the tall deep-voiced Potions Master she hadn't been able to stop noticing since she'd crashed into him.

Finally the hat continued. "Pure of blood you are, and once you set yourself to wanting something you _do mean to have it_" it said.

Tam held her breath, hoping…

"Yes" the hat said. "Slytherin!"

Tamara grinned, feeling like one of the eleven year olds she knew would be coming here to be sorted into their own houses in a few days. She glanced at Professor Snape and saw that he had an eyebrow raised again, this time seemingly in surprise.

McGonagall looked slightly taken aback, but Dumbledore smiled knowingly. "Ah, all right then" he said, nodding. "In that case, I shall be sending you with Severus momentarily. I think we may just as well have you set up residence in the dungeon with the other Slytherins. I think, Severus, upon returning there you will find that there is now a chamber set up next door to your own that will contain the rest of Miss Brookes' personal effects. If you'd be so kind as to show her around, and help her set a password for her door, I am sure she would be most appreciative."

McGonagall gave him a look that made Tamara suspect she was horrified by his suggestion. "Headmaster I could…"

"No worries Minerva, Severus has already said he is free at the moment, and as they are going to be neighbors, I think he would be the best one to show her the way" Dumbledore insisted. Tam picked up a very strong sense of _mischief_ coming off of him, and it made her a little nervous. She looked over (and up) at Snape to see how he felt about the idea.

His face betraying nothing, Professor Snape nodded to the Headmaster. "Certainly." Then, to Tamara, he said "Madam" and nodded towards the door. McGonagall was shaking her head.

Silently pleased, Tamara left the room with Snape. Once in the corridor he took the lead, since she had no idea which way to go. She had to almost jog to keep up with him. His legs were far longer than hers, and his stride was brisk. She realized now that he actually wasn't quite as tall as he'd seemed, in fact she suspected he wasn't quite as tall as Remus. Over six foot, yes, but not by much. It was his _presence_ that made him seem taller. His robes billowed out behind him as he went and Tam found herself unable to focus on anything else.

_This is going to be a very interesting year_ she thought to herself, fighting back an idiotic grin. She couldn't help but still feel a bit ashamed of herself though, as Remus came back into her mind. The Man in Black was far more interesting to her than he should have been, she knew, and he was _so very_unlike her dear Remus that she really couldn't believe she was letting herself develop such a silly crush.

_Still,_ she thought, trying to shake the guilt from her head, _Remus is the one that sent me away, so he isn't really in a position to be hurt if I notice someone else now is he?_ As much as it annoyed her, they really weren't an item anymore. He had made it clear that they couldn't be.

Snape led her into the dungeons, and took her first to the Slytherin common room. She was deeply impressed, and he must have noticed because he was smirking again. It was under the lake, so the light had a green hue from the windows. The room was richly furnished in green, silver, and black. He told her the password, because as a teacher who would live down here, it may occasionally fall to her to check in on the Slytherin students.

Next, he walked her to her rooms. The first door they passed he pointed out as his own, and as Dumbledore had said, there was another door a bit farther down the corridor. Tamara knew it hadn't been there before, even though she'd never been here. There was something in the way the Headmaster had said it that told her the chamber had been newly made with magic just for her.

"You can protect your door with a password, and I recommend you do so. The last thing anyone would want is a mischievous student rooting through their belongings or booby-trapping their bed" Snape told her.

"How do I do that?" she asked.

He showed her, setting a temporary password of "Belladonna" for her door. "You can change it to whatever you like. Most of us change passwords regularly as an added precaution" he explained.

She nodded, and not really thinking about it she blurted the question that came to mind, "What's yours?"

He looked at her like she'd grown at least two extra heads, and she felt her face go hot. _Oh lovely Tam, make him think you're stalker who's going to go through his underwear drawer while he's in class…_

As soon as she'd thought it, she saw another smirk cross his face, his amusement obvious in his eyes. It was almost as though he'd somehow caught the thought, and she decided she'd better be more careful with her musings around him in future, because she didn't know what he was actually capable of magically.

"The purpose of a password is quite defeated if it isn't kept private, wouldn't you say?" he asked, black eyes still glinting smugly.

She boldly looked him in the eye, and instead of speaking she thought hard _Don't quite know what to make of me do you? Well, for starters, yes I really am quite a silly person so we may as well just get past that right now. Secondly… if you want to know something you could just as easily ask._

His smirk quickly faded and he stared at her looking a bit less sure of himself. That proved her theory.

She snickered, and said sweetly "Well, mine will stay as you put it for the time being I think, so feel free to visit anytime. Thank you for your help. I'm going to go in and get settled…."

She turned to go through her door and was surprised to hear him speak again. "Bezoar."

Tamara spun back around. He was watching her, stone-faced.

"My password… for the time being" he clarified. "Is bezoar. Should you need anything." He stared at her coolly, and shocked, she stared back.

"Oh. Ok. Thank you" she stammered, before she practically leapt through her own door to get away from showing him any more how much he rattled her.

As soon as the door was closed behind her she burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Feeling like a daffy teenager, she shook her head in disbelief. Out loud she said "Oh what the hell am I doing?"


	2. If I Told You I'd Have to Kill You

Tamara's first class went well. It was a group of fourth years, and she had decided she would start by showing them some examples of the things they could do with their magic to enhance a musical performance. She gave them demonstrations of how to enchant musical instruments to make them play themselves, and how to use magic to amplify their singing voices, or even multiply their voice so it would sound like they were also singing backup for themselves. She'd always thought that a neat trick, but seeing how much they enjoyed the idea, she had to admit it seemed like something people could appreciate learning after all.

The rest of the classes went just as well, and Tam was happy to see that the students really seemed to like her. She'd been worried about that. Remembering her promise to Remus, she sought out Harry Potter and introduced herself. She told him that she had a friend who had known his parents and that if he ever needed anything she'd be happy to help. He was a sweet boy, she could tell. Knowing his story, she couldn't help but feel terribly sad for him. He'd been through more in his short life than most ever had to endure.

As her class was an elective, she didn't get the chance to teach Harry. He explained that while he found it all very interesting, he just wasn't really the musical sort.

Tamara noticed that he spent most of his time with two other Gryffindors, Hermione Granger, a pretty and bright little muggle-born witch who seemed to delight in cramming as many classes as she could into her days, and Ron Weasley, one of the well known Weasley family whose older twin brothers were taking one of Tam's classes.

The Weasley twins, Fred and George, were notorious at Hogwarts for their pranks and tricks. Professor Snape had warned Tamara that they were just as likely to blow up an instrument as play one, but thankfully they seemed to be quite fond of her and kept their jokes harmless in her class. She actually encouraged some of their antics because, she told them, to her it all seemed like just another means of producing entertainment, which was what she was there to teach in the first place.

When the twins made a trombone bray like a donkey and a tuba roar like a lion she had awarded twenty points to Gryffindor for creativity. A blast of glitter and confetti blowing out the end of a trumpet had earned them another ten. They seemed to find her appreciation of their "work" quite exciting, and she counted them among her best students. She gave them a bit of time every week to perform the "songs" that they came up with, which were more like cheeky limericks really, but the students (and the teacher) enjoyed them immensely.

The other teachers, having heard about the sorts of things that were being done in her classes, would occasionally turn up to watch. One of the highlights had been Minerva McGonagall agreeing to teach them an old Scottish folk song. She said it was the most fun she'd had in ages, and Tam told her to come back anytime with more. Professor Flitwick, since he was already the leader of the Hogwarts choir, also enjoyed coming to participate, and Tamara appreciated his help.

Though they occasionally spoke in the corridor they shared in the dungeon, and she did often endeavor to snag the seat next to him at meals, her interactions with Professor Snape were not as many as she would've liked. The more she was able to watch the man though, the more he intrigued her.

One day, much to her surprise, it was he who came into one of her classes, and giving her a respectful nod, he took a seat on a window ledge in the far end of the room to watch. Tamara's stomach did a little flip, and she sympathized with the students who had told her they found it entirely impossible to do anything successfully in his class because he was just so bloody scary. She herself wasn't exactly afraid of him… she just found his presence so intense that it made her nervous. Of course, the fact that she found him completely dead sexy didn't help any either.

Tam shot a pleading glance to the Weasley twins, and both mimed having halos over their heads to let her know that they would behave. She heaved a sigh of relief and smiled at them.

She had planned to sing a song by a muggle group called The Cranberries that she wanted a group of girls to perform at their first recital, and as much as the thought of having to sing in front of Snape made her dizzy, she didn't have anything else to fall back on at such short notice. _Oh Lordy here we go…_

"I picked out a song that I want to give to some of the girls in the recital. It's one I've always liked, and I used to listen to it over and over, so I hope you'll think it's nice."

She closed her eyes, because she knew she couldn't stand to do this if she had to look at him too! With a wave of her wand, the guitars and drums began to back her up.

The students clapped for her, which she thought was sweet of them, but she honestly felt a bit like she might be sick. Normally she didn't care who she sang in front of because she knew she was fairly good at it, and properly magically amplified she was _very_ good at it, so why be nervous? In front of him though, it was a different story.

Afterwards when she opened her eyes and glanced at him she saw he had that smirk of his on again, but he was actually clapping too. _Oh Merlin's bloody buggery tea-pot please don't let me pass out…_

"Well, I'm glad you like it because I'll need… oh probably four girls for that one would do nicely. Then of course we need someone to manage the instruments for them. I'm in the process of selecting more songs, and we'll have several spots in the recital for anyone who wants in. Fred and George, I'd like you to work up one or two of your little ditties for us to feature. As a personal favor to me, please try to convey your delightful style while also keeping it as clean as possible, as it will be presented to most of the school at some point."

The twins grinned at her. She was sure they'd manage to make their usual impression without risking costing Tam her job.

"We can manage" George assured her.

"Certainly" agreed Fred. They exchanged a mischievous look.

When the students had all filed out after class, Snape finally stood and approached her.

"That was rather fascinating" he said.

She knew she was blushing again and a slew of furious curse words ran through her head. "Thank you."

"I admit I had previously believed such a class would be a complete and utter waste of time, as most so-called _music_ seems to me little more than glorified _noise_ but I found myself rather enjoying what you did. You even managed to enthrall and subdue the Weasley twins, which is a feat in itself."

Tamara wasn't sure at first whether to feel complimented or offended, but she sensed no ill intensions from him so she decided to go with complimented. It appeared that you just had to know how to take this fellow, and she suspected most people simply didn't.

"They're lovely boys if given the proper outlet" she explained. "Two of my best students honestly."

He raised an eyebrow as if he suspected she'd gone round the bend. "Hmm" was all he had to say before changing the subject. "I actually came here to speak with you about your own studies. I had a conversation with the headmaster and he believes that since you now seem to have settled into your own classes successfully it would be a good time to schedule some for you to take yourself, if you were still interested."

She nodded. "Yes, I'd love to."

"The headmaster has given your schedule to a few of the other professors so they can fit you into some of their classes. His suggestion was that you begin with transfiguration, charms, divination, and potions."

_Oh boy… potions… _"That sounds fine" she said, hating that her voice squeaked a little in her nervousness. "Honestly I warn you, I am ridiculously horrid at potion making so you'll have your work cut out for you."

He shrugged. "Nothing is compulsory for you to take, so if you'd rather not…"

_Horrid at it or not I'm not passing up the chance to watch him in action dammit! _"No, I definitely want to try. I just don't want you to be too shocked when I make a total fool of myself."

Snape looked thoughtful, as if he were considering something. Finally he said "If you'd rather, I'm sure I could find time to schedule some private lessons rather than forcing you to struggle along in front of the students."

Tamara thought her heart might just stop beating altogether. "Thank you. That would be fantastic, as long as it isn't too inconvenient for you."

He stared at her. "If it were too inconvenient I wouldn't have offered it."

The classes she took with the other professors went better than she had expected. It seemed she really wasn't as far behind as she had believed herself to be, and it turned out she had a real talent for charms especially. Professor Flitwick seemed pleased with her abilities, and the fact that she had over the years actually invented a few charms herself. Transfiguration was a bit harder for her, but she was doing well enough, and she really got on well with Professor McGonagall. Occasionally they would go into Hogsmeade with Professor Sprout, Professor Trelawny, and Madame Pomfrey for a few drinks at the Three Broomsticks. Divination was a fun class for Tam. She knew that Sybil Trelawney's own genuine prophecies were few and far between, but she was enjoying learning the different methods, anyway.

In anticipation of her first private potions lesson she hadn't eaten for a day and a half out of fear that she may throw up on Snape's shoes when he talked to her. It unnerved her that _anyone_ could make her so nervous, but try as she might, she just couldn't seem to control it. Much to her embarrassment, the man drove her crazy with lust, and she felt like a blabbering idiot every time she had to interact with him.

In desperation, she confided her plight, leaving out the lust bit, to Minerva. The older witch's eyes had gotten big as dinner plates and she'd struggled quite a while for something to say.

"Well. You find yourself… a bit attracted… so you can't… to Severus? Really?" She studied her young friend's face, trying to decide whether Tamara was teasing her.

Tam nodded. "Yes really. Why's that so hard to believe?" She laughed.

Minerva shrugged, feeling silly. "I don't know, it's just not something that I have heard before I suppose. Usually when someone says they are intimidated by Severus it's because he's given them a good telling off, not because they… well… you know."

"I can see where that might be" Tam laughed. "He hasn't told me off, thankfully, I think I'd die on the spot. I just wondered if there was any advice you could give me on what to do, or not to do, just to make a decent impression so I don't just sit there like a frightened mouse. I can't learn anything if I'm trying not to be sick."

McGonagall chuckled. "No I suppose you can't." She considered the question for a while. "Well… pay close attention to everything he tells you, and be aware that he might not be totally specific with everything so you'll have to be on your toes. He's known for doing that. Try your best, and if you do make a mistake it is probably best to just clear out the cauldron and start again if you can, rather than have something go too far amiss. Don't patronize Severus, ever, or even let him think you might be. He doesn't react well to that. If you show him respect, and put forth your best effort, you should do fine."

"Thanks for that Min, I'll keep it all in mind. You've known him a long time haven't you?"

McGonagall nodded. "Yes, since he was a boy actually. He's always been a loner. Severus didn't have an easy childhood and I suspect that is a great contributor to his present personality. Between us, we on the staff always suspected neglect. With that and being rather awkward, he was a target for bullying. If he knew I'd told you that he'd be furious, so please, just between us."

Feeling a twinge of sadness on Snape's behalf Tam nodded. "Of course, I won't say a word."

"Don't let him know that he rattles you. If he thinks you're intimidated he'll use it against you. He can be a bit manipulative if you let him. I don't think he means any harm in it. In his youth he realized he couldn't get his way through popularity because he wasn't, so he figured out how to do it through other means. He's always been brilliant. If you listen to him you can learn a lot. Keep that between us as well as I couldn't stand the smug remarks I'd get if he knew I said so!"

When Tamara arrived at the potions room she wasn't surprised to see he already had everything set out that they would be using. He got straight down to business.

"Tell me what you already know" he said briskly.

She immediately felt ill, but tried to remember what Minerva had said, and kept her voice calm for once. "Not much" she admitted.

He gave her a slightly disgusted look. "Anything?"

She shook her head. "Probably nothing useful, no."

He sighed. "Well, at least you are honest." He went to a bookshelf behind his desk and grabbed a thick leather-bound book. "This" he said "is full of most of the rudimentary knowledge you will need to at least be safe in your potion brewing efforts, so I suggest you read it through a few times and make notes. In the meantime, when you're here, I want you to watch what I do, follow it exactly, and then write it down. Do you understand?"

She nodded.

"Good. Professor Dumbledore has asked me to focus on the most practically useful potions to know so that if you decide not to pursue the study you'll at least have gained some knowledge you can use in your everyday life. I think that a wise idea. Most of what we will be working with is harmless, but there are a few things that, if handled improperly, can be quite volatile so I urge you to use caution at all times. I will warn you when there is potential danger."

She nodded again.

"Before we begin, do you have any questions?" he asked.

Much to her surprise, listening to him and taking in every word… she actually didn't feel nearly as nervous anymore. His voice was very attractive, and strangely relaxing if you just listened without worrying what he might be thinking of you.

She shook her head. "Not yet, thank you."

All in all it had gone very well. He showed her how to make a simple pain relieving potion. She followed exactly everything he did, and made sure she wrote it all down as clearly as possible for future reference. In the end, he declared her efforts successful.

"Well done. Perhaps there's hope for you in potions after all" he said.

She smiled, feeling totally at ease with him for the first time since she'd met him. "Thanks. I know I'm learning from the best, and believe me I am grateful for that. I certainly intend to try."

Normally flattery annoyed him, but she seemed to be being genuine, not patronizing, so he decided to allow it.

"If you feel so inclined and have the time I think we could fit in three lessons a week instead of two. You'd certainly advance faster. It is entirely up to you" he offered.

She smiled at him like he'd just handed her a bag of gold, and though he showed no outward sign, it startled the hell out of him. Usually people didn't get excited about the prospect of having to be alone with him, in fact quite the opposite.

"I'd appreciate that very much" she said, careful not to ask him if it was convenient, as he'd already clearly stated before he didn't make such offers unless it was.

They did increase to three lessons a week, and gradually their other interactions increased as well. They spent most meals together, actually talking instead of ignoring each other, and she had made a habit of stopping by his room to say goodnight to him before she went to bed. He didn't seem to mind, and after a while it turned into her going to his room after dinner every evening to read, prepare lesson plans, or ask for advice on assignments she was given by the other professors. She found it much nicer than being alone, and he seemed to enjoy her company.

Nobody really noticed their evenings spent together, as they were the only two living in that particular dungeon corridor, and the Slytherin students never bothered to venture down it. Tamara suspected that even his own house knew better than to pester Professor Snape when he was in his chambers. People did however, notice that they could often be found in close proximity to each other when they were out and about in the castle. Tamara had overheard a few students speculating as to the reason why.

"Do you think he fancies her?" It was a sixth year Gryffindor girl, and two Hufflepuff boys of the same year.

One of the boys laughed "Snape? Not bloody likely. I don't think he could ever fancy anybody with that ice cold heart of his."

The other boy gave a snort "I don't think he's got a heart at all. Maybe she fancies him!"

The Gryffindor girl made a face. "Absolutely not! Miss Brookes is far too nice to ever think on _him_ that way. I'll bet he does fancy her and she's too polite to tell him to bugger off."

Tam, who had been walking along behind them, decided to speak up. "Or perhaps they've developed a perfectly normal friendship and nosey students shouldn't bother about the business of teachers?"

The boys stared at their shoes and started to walk faster, but the girl stopped and turned to face her music teacher.

"Sorry Miss Brookes, I didn't mean to gossip, I just… well, it's a bit strange to see someone like you wanting to be around someone like him, that's all. Everybody's usually afraid of him, honestly."

Tam sighed. "Not the other teachers, generally. He's not so bad once you get to know him, though don't tell anyone that, he'd hate it if I ruined his reputation. Think on it girl, would you rather have someone like Professor Snape as a friend or a foe?" She grinned evilly.

The Gryffindor girl shrugged "Don't take offense Miss, but… neither."

"I suppose" Tam laughed "that makes sense coming from a Gryffindor. We'll have to just agree to disagree won't we? Regardless, he's a professor here so he should be shown the proper respect."

Later on Tamara gave Severus a vague and edited version of the exchange, leaving out the parts about whether or not he might fancy her, and softening the nasty things they'd said about him.

"Why are they all so terrified of you, do you suppose?" She'd never let on that at first she had been terrified too.

He rolled his eyes. "I don't suffer fools gladly and I don't coddle them as if they were helpless infants. I suppose that makes me seem a bit of a villain."

She grinned. "I told the girl that I'd much rather have you as a friend than a foe."

"How very Slytherin of you" he said with a smirk.

Laughing, she continued "Yes I suppose it is, and I'm not apologizing for it. Really though, that's not the only reason I like being around you."

"Oh do tell, I beg you."

"Well there's your delightful talent for sarcasm, for one" she teased. "Also, you're brilliant, and I like watching you put nearly everyone else to shame."

"Flattery will get you absolutely nowhere" he warned, but he was smiling one of those very rare little smiles of his, and that encouraged her.

"Oh I know, and it's not flattery it's the plain truth. Take _Gilderoy Lockhart_ for example. How in the hell he got hired for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position I have absolutely no idea. Any idiot can see he's completely useless and has absolutely no business being here, regardless of the tripe he's crammed into those stupid books of his. Honestly, Dumbledore should have just given the job to you because I know you could handle it and still keep doing Potions."

She noticed he was blushing a bit in the firelight, and he seemed to be staring just a little too hard at the book he was reading.

"Really?" he asked casually.

"Absolutely, although I'm glad he didn't I suppose because I doubt I'd be getting private potions lessons then."

"No" agreed "I think not. What else do you particularly enjoy about me?" he coaxed, embarrassed, but also amused.

"I like your voice. It's all rumbley and velvety. I'm hoping someday maybe I can get you drunk or something and convince you to sing for me." She giggled, and he glared at her, but she could tell he was still amused.

"That will not be happening" he insisted. "I do not sing. I also, incidentally, know how to hold my alcohol, so you're quite out of luck."

"Let's see…" she went on. "I also really like black, so you've got that going for you. Black hair, black clothes… the eyes are _almost_ black, but the students are wrong there, they aren't _entirely_ black, they're just really, really dark brown. I made that mistake at first too, but after a while I noticed the difference."

"When is it you've had the occasion to perform such a deep analysis of my eyes?" he asked her, surprised, but trying to sound casual.

"Certainly not when we're brewing potions!" she laughed. "I know I can't afford such a distraction there. It's usually right here when you're all wrapped up in a book and I'm sitting here watching you without you noticing."

She saw that although he was still trying to look interested in his book, his lips were twisted in a funny way that suggested he wanted to laugh.

"And why would you want to do that?" he asked.

She stood up from her spot by his feet. "If I told you I'm afraid I'd have to kill you." She gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Anyway, I'm going to bed. Goodnight." She figured it was the perfect moment to walk away, and grinning like the cat that ate the canary, she went back to her own rooms.


	3. Ebony and Dragon Heartstring

One evening after dinner Tamara was watching Severus tinker with a calming draught he was making for the hospital wing when he surprised her by grabbing her wand off of the table.

He looked it over carefully, and she noticed he was wearing a very confused expression.

"What?" she laughed. "It's simple, but it's mine."

He looked up at her. "Where did you get this?"

"Ollivander's at Diagon Alley. A friend bought it for me to welcome me to Britain. Why?" She was starting to wonder if something was wrong.

"It is ebony, yes?"

She nodded. "Dragon heartstring."

Severus produced his own wand from inside his coat and handed it to her, handle first. Tamara's jaw dropped. How had she not noticed this before? She'd seen of course, that his wand was black like hers, but had never really thought much more of it than that. The truth was that they were nearly identical. The only difference she could see was the carved design on the handles. Hers had small carved roses on it where his was a design that made her think of ancient civilizations.

"Dragon heartstring?" she asked, and he nodded. "That's weird" she mumbled.

"Yes, it is. Naturally this is also an Ollivander creation, but it was purchased in nineteen seventy-one before I started school myself. The similarity is… unusual. I don't think I have seen two wands so much alike before and I'd like to ask the Headmaster if he has."

She nodded. "Sure."

Severus aimed Tamara's wand at the stack of books he had sitting next to his favorite chair and the books were swiftly sent shooting back into their places on the shelf.

"No resistance" he muttered. "Try mine."

Nervous, Tam pointed his wand at the table he was standing in front of.

"Orchideous" she said.

To her relief, a rose was conjured there next to his hand. He smirked as he picked it up.

"Interesting" he said. "Let's go and catch him before he goes to bed."

Dumbledore carefully examined the two wands on his desk. When he finally looked up, he was smiling, and his blue eyes sparkled with amusement.

"That is rather interesting isn't it?" he said. "To answer your question Severus, no, I also have never seen two wands so similar. If you'd like I could write to Mr. Ollivander himself and see what his opinion is, as they are both wands of his creation. Perhaps he could provide some more insight?"

"Yes Headmaster, that would be appreciated" Severus said, nodding. Tam noticed that he seemed a bit disturbed by the whole thing. She herself was feeling pretty pleased about it, rather than unnerved.

"Honestly, my own assumption is that it suggests a kinship between the wands. I'm interested to see if they were actually constructed around the same time. They may be related, as some wands are known to be. I will let you know as soon as I hear back."

On their way back to the dungeons Severus was very quiet, and Tamara decided it was up to her to ease the tension.

"So, if our wands are relatives, what do we do?" she asked, snickering. "Give them time to visit each other?"

He rolled his eyes, but smirked.

Later that week, Tam was sitting on the piano in her classroom looking over the essays on the power of voice control that she had collected from her last class when she was startled by an unexpected voice.

"Hello there Tamara!" It was that idiot Lockhart. _Crap._

"Hello Professor" she said, looking up and forcing a smile. "What brings you here?"

He stepped closer to her until he was nearly up against her leg and gave her what she assumed was meant to be a seductive grin. "Just the desire to visit with the prettiest teacher in the castle" he oozed.

"Are you sure you don't mean the _youngest _teacher in the castle?"

He ignored her comment. "I wanted to see if I could walk you to lunch."

"Oh, thank you, but I have some work to do" she lied.

He didn't relent. "Ah, well perhaps I could be of some help to you?"

_Oh please._"Umm…"

She hopped down off of the piano and headed for her desk, hoping to put some distance between them. He followed her, and she ended up in a worse position, with her back pressed against her desk and Lockhart inches away from her face.

She had a desperate thought and figured it was worth a shot… "Actually, you know Gilderoy I forgot I was supposed to meet up with _Severus_" she flicked her wand behind her back when she said his name "for a potions lesson several minutes ago! I'm quite late in fact and you know how he appreciates punctuality. I don't want to make him wait around for me when he's been so generous with his time."

He leaned closer still to her and she bent slightly backwards to avoid him. "Oh don't worry about Professor Snape" he said. "I'll take care of him."

"In regards to what, may I ask?" came the welcome sound of Severus' rich baritone voice from the doorway.

_That was fast!_Tamara heaved a sigh of relief, and craned to look over Lockhart's shoulder. Sure enough, Snape had received her call for help and come to the rescue.

"Oh Sev!" she called cheerfully, noticing he seemed to flinch at the nickname. _Better make sure to ask about that later_ she thought. "I was just telling dear Gilderoy here that I was late to meet you for our potions lesson! So sorry about that, it completely slipped my mind."

He played along seamlessly with the lie and she tried to force her immense gratitude out to him through her eyeballs. He gave her a little smile and she could tell he found the whole situation highly amusing.

"I was wondering what had become of you as it is so unlike you to keep me waiting." He turned to Lockhart. "I see I needn't have worried."

Lockhart was grinning but his eyes were nervous. "Indeed Severus, Miss Brookes couldn't have possibly been any safer than with me in the room!" he boasted.

Tam made a gagging motion behind Lockhart's back, and was shocked when she heard a deep chuckle from Snape. _So he can laugh!_ _I haven't heard that before_ she thought.

"That is a relief. Miss Brookes, as you are now very late indeed I suggest we get to the potions room immediately" he paused staring her in the eyes. "Unless, of course you wish to simply cancel it for today?"

Her eyes narrowed. _Cheeky bugger!_"NO!" she nearly shrieked. "No no, I don't like to miss my potions lessons. I take education very seriously you know."

Lockhart tried to grab her hand but she dodged him. "Come now Tamara, all work and no play is no way to live! If Severus thinks you can afford to miss a lesson, I say we leave it to his judgment. He _is_ the expert after all!"

Tam glared daggers at Snape, who actually now had the decency to look a bit sorry.

"No you're quite right Miss Brookes" he spoke up. "Neglecting ones lessons is very unwise. I think we should get to work straight away. In fact, I do believe I could see to making time for us to have a longer lesson today, to recover the time we've lost. Come along."

Tamara darted past Lockhart and slipped her arm around Snape's. He gave her a surprised look but didn't pull away.

When they were safely out of earshot she thought it time to show her appreciation for the rescue.

"Thank you! I wasn't sure if I could actually get you to appear with that spell but I was absolutely desperate!"

He chuckled again and she relished the sound.

"That was a clever charm. Feel free to use it whenever you have the need" he offered. "Am I to understand you weren't enjoying Lockhart's company?" He tried to sound innocent and failed miserably.

"Oh he's vile!" she spat, eliciting more rumbling chuckles from Severus. "The man is relentless. He nearly had me pinned to the desk."

She thought for a moment, remembering his reaction to what she'd called him in the classroom. "I wanted to ask… and please don't be annoyed with me, did it bother you when I called you 'Sev'? If it did I won't do it again. I meant it in fondness, not disrespect."

He didn't answer right away, and she started to get nervous.

"Someone" he said finally "that I used to know…called me that."

"And you don't like it?" she asked.

He stopped walking and turned to face her. "I wouldn't" he explained "From anyone else. From you, I suppose I can accept it."

She understood. "This person was important?"

He nodded. "From you I can accept it" he repeated.

She was touched. Surely, she considered them to have become friends, but they'd never really said as much, and he wasn't one to allow many liberties to _anyone_with regards to his person. She knew that. It reminded her of the day they'd met and he had revealed to her the password to his chamber. Apparently, for some reason, he trusted her more than most. She felt privileged.

The following day Professor Snape asked Tamara if she'd like to come to the Slytherin Quidditch match with him. They were playing against Gryffindor so it was bound to be an interesting show. Tam, feeling that it would be fun to go and support her house (plus always enjoying any excuse to spend time with the head of that house) said that she would love to.

In the stands Severus introduced her to a man she had seen at the school before but never met. When she heard his name she realized why he looked so familiar.

"This is Lucius Malfoy" Severus said to her. "He's a long time friend of mine. Lucius, this is Tamara Brookes, the new magical performing arts teacher here at Hogwarts."

He had long blonde hair tied back with a ribbon and she had to admit he was very handsome in his expensive suit. Not her type though, she could tell.

"Ah, lovely to meet you my dear. Severus talks about you on occasion, which is more than he talks about most people, so you must be someone special indeed."

Snape looked at Malfoy like he'd like to hex him into the next century.

Tamara smiled. "You must be Draco's father? I see the resemblance."

He nodded, smiling proudly. "Yes, he's the new seeker for Slytherin. We're quite proud. Severus tells me you were sorted into Slytherin house yourself Miss Brookes."

"Yes I was. I'm glad I got the opportunity, as I'm told it isn't something they generally do with teachers."

Malfoy smirked "That's because most of the teachers here attended Hogwarts themselves, I'm sure. Personally I would be happy to see the houses kept more segregated from each other. I think it would be more tasteful" he commented. "Miss Brookes, you'll have to accompany Severus to our annual Christmas party this year if you aren't otherwise committed. Narcissa and I would love to see him with a beautiful pure-blood witch such as yourself on his arm."

Once again she noticed that positively murderous look in Severus' eyes. Malfoy completely ignored it.

Making a quick decision Tam grabbed Sev's arm affectionately and said "Yes I'd love to. Thank you for the invitation."

When they sat down she noticed that Severus placed himself in between her and Lucius. She whispered in his ear "That man could talk the knickers off a nun."

He snorted, looking irritated.

"Too pretty though" she added, and out of the corner of her eye she saw him smirk.

The match did not disappoint in the excitement department. Tam had expected quite a show with Draco Malfoy pitted against Gryffindor seeker Harry Potter. A bludger that was tampered with ended up causing some trouble and did some damage when the chase for the snitch made its way into the stands. Draco was knocked off of his broom. Tamara noticed that when the boy fell Severus, as his head of house, stood to check on him while his own father merely cringed with embarrassment. In the end, Harry Potter caught the golden snitch and Gryffindor took the match. Harry suffered a broken arm and ended up being (she heard later) deboned by that boob Lockhart. Thankfully Madam Pomfrey would be able to undo the mistake.

Afterwards Tam accompanied Sev and Lucius Malfoy to the hospital wing to make sure that the younger Malfoy would recover, and in Tam's case, to check in on Harry. When she moved to go over to him however, Severus discreetly grabbed her sleeve and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. Trusting his judgment, she stayed where she was, and made a mental note to ask him about it later. Once it was clear that Draco would be fine, Lucius bid them farewell and they headed into Hogsmeade to a late lunch. Severus was grumpy due to Slytherin's loss.

"I wouldn't think you'd care much for sport. It doesn't seem like it would be your forte" she commented.

He smirked. "It's not, but it satisfies my competitive streak. I only attend when Slytherin plays."

"Well it's a very exciting game, that's for sure. I had a good time, other than worrying that crazy bludger was going to kill someone."

"That was unusual" he admitted. "Someone did that deliberately, and Potter was the target. I'll have to speak to the Headmaster about that when we get back."

"Why didn't you want me to go check on him?" she asked, curious.

"You can check on him if you like, I'd just appreciate it if you didn't do so in front of Lucius Malfoy. As a favor to me."

She was intrigued by the request, but decided not to push for an explanation. "Ok. No problem. I'll go see him later."

She remembered something, and hoping he wouldn't get annoyed she said "Your friend Malfoy didn't seem very worried about his son did he?"

Sev rolled his eyes. "No, as usual he was far more worried about his own ego." He sighed. "He does care a great deal for the boy but most important to Lucius is always appearance I'm afraid."

"I noticed you put yourself between he and I every chance you had. Is there something I should know?" she asked.

"You're very observant" he said approvingly. "My advice would be not to find yourself alone with Lucius if you can avoid it. In fact, I think it would be best to avoid him altogether unless I am present. Don't let him realize this, but keep it in mind."

"That's a shame" she said. "I was looking forward to that Christmas party."

Severus chuckled. "As long as you stay with me at all times it shouldn't be a problem. Besides, now that you've been invited, it would raise questions if you didn't attend."

"Excellent!" She grinned. "Who do you usually take? I'm not displacing anyone am I?"

He looked at her as if she were out of her mind. "No, you're not displacing anyone."

Sensing he was suddenly uncomfortable Tamara changed the subject. "I wonder when Dumbledore will hear back from Mr. Ollivander. I'd really like to find out what the story is with our wands. Plus it would be nifty to know when mine was made. I never thought to ask him that when it chose me."

To her dismay, Severus looked even more uncomfortable. He didn't meet her eyes when he said "Yes, actually the Headmaster did in fact hear back. It must have… slipped my mind."

For once it was her turn to raise an eyebrow. "Oh really? You already found out about our wands and it _slipped your mind_? What did he say?"

Now he was positively squirming. "Perhaps you should go and talk to him yourself. I'm sure he could explain it better than I."

Tam nodded. "Ok, I will."

That evening she did in fact go to visit Dumbledore again. She invited Severus to come with her, but he made an excuse about having some potions essays to grade.

"Ah, good evening Miss Brookes. I thought I might be seeing you, though I admit I had expected you sooner."

Tam smiled. "Well, I only just found out today that you'd heard back from Mr. Ollivander. It seems it… slipped Severus' mind."

The Headmaster chuckled. "I had hoped he would tell you himself what information I was able to obtain, but he… was reluctant. He did tell me he would pass on the message for you to come and speak to me yourself, but apparently… as you say, it slipped his mind. Would you like a lemon drop?"

Tam nodded and couldn't help but giggle at the delight he took in handing her a candy. She knew most people usually turned him down. She'd always liked lemon drops, although her favorite were the kind that came in liquid form with vodka.

"Thank you."

"Mr. Ollivander tells me that your wand was in fact made right after the one he sold to Severus. It was waiting there for you for quite a long time it seems. He said it is rare for him to make two so similar, but he had some particularly good ebony at the time and when inspiration strikes it cannot be denied. Interestingly, he told me that he would have expected such a pair of wands to belong to…" he cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly. "A uh… pair of lovers. A couple. Or, possibly some siblings or other such bonded people."

Tamara bit her lip to keep from grinning. "I see. That makes sense I suppose. It also explains my friend's forgetfulness" she snickered.

Dumbledore nodded, smiling mischievously. "Yes. Professor Snape finds such topics… a bit unsettling I'm afraid. I do hope at least some of your questions have been answered."

"Yes, thank you. It's an interesting coincidence isn't it?"

"Yes, it certainly is."

The next morning at breakfast Severus informed her that a student had been attacked and petrified. A little Gryffindor first year named Colin Creevey. Apparently the boy had been exploring the corridors past curfew taking pictures, as he had his camera still around his neck. Dumbledore had checked the film to see if he'd managed to get a picture of his attacker but the film exploded when it was removed.

"So that's what happened to Filch's cat!" she exclaimed. "Fred and George said that somebody had petrified her, but they assumed it was some sort of nasty joke."

"Not, I think, a joke" he said. "Dumbledore's afraid it actually has got something to do with the Chamber of Secrets."

"What, pray tell, is the Chamber of Secrets?" she asked.

He told her the story of Salazar Slytherin, and his plan for eliminating muggle born students from Hogwarts, and explained to her that the hidden chamber containing the monster meant to kill them could only be opened by Slytherin's heir.

"Oh lovely. More reason for people to think we're all crazed purist potential murderers" she muttered, rolling her eyes.

He nodded, knowing that by "we" she meant Slytherin house. "Yes" he agreed. "It is quite worrying really because if the chamber really is opened there will be more deaths, and the school will no doubt have to be closed."

"More deaths? Who's died?" she asked, shocked.

"A girl was killed in a bathroom fifty years ago when the chamber was opened. Rubeus Hagrid was blamed for opening it and releasing the monster, and he was expelled, but Dumbledore has never believed him to be responsible and neither do I."

Tam felt terrible for poor Hagrid. Certainly he was innocent. Nobody that sweet could have done such a thing.

"In spite of the fact that your blood status probably rules you out as a target, I would advise you to avoid being alone in the corridors at night if you possibly can" he said. "If you find you absolutely must go out you only need ask and I would be happy to accompany you."

Of course Tamara thanked him, and honestly, she was glad for the offer. Something was definitely amiss in the castle and she had no desire to end up petrified or worse. It made her sick to think of the poor little boy lying frozen stiff in the hospital wing. She hoped Professor Sprout's mandrake root cure would be ready soon.


	4. You're a Special Case It Seems

Tamara stood to the side of the table in the great hall behind some of the watching children. She had come to watch the "dueling club" but didn't want to draw attention to the fact that she was there. If Lockhart thought for even a moment that she might be impressed by him he was likely to double his efforts at seduction. The thought made her gag a little.

"Gather 'round" he yelled out. "Can everybody see me? Can you all hear me?" He started off on a speech about the dueling club and its purpose. Tam half considered going back to her classroom if all he was going to do was prattle on like this. Then he managed to regain her attention…

"Let me introduce my assistant…. Professor Snape" he said.

Tam's eyes widened. She'd seen him across the room and assumed he was there to supervise the Slytherin students, but they hadn't spoken.

"He has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration" then he went on about how he didn't want the youngsters to worry, as they would still have their Potions Master when he was done.

Tamara snorted out loud. That was rich! She couldn't fight the evil grin that took over her face, and she carefully moved closer to the table. She wanted a good spot for this.

Severus stepped impressively up onto the table, not even uncrossing his arms as he did so. Tam grinned wider still, feeling a faint flutter in her chest at the sight of her favorite colleague in action.

The two men went through the formalities that were always observed before a duel, and Tam admired her friend's skillful movement, as usual. They separated the customary paces, and at the count of three…

"Exxxpeliarmus!" Severus exclaimed, and Lockhart was quickly blasted into the air and several feet down the table to land on his pompous arse!

The students all laughed, as did Tamara, as she beamed up at Severus.

Lockhart quickly got up and, as he walked towards his opponent he loudly declared that he had been well aware of what Snape had meant to do, and could have easily stopped him if he had wanted to.

Tam couldn't help it, she glared at him venomously. He was so full of shite you could smell it across a room!

To Sev's credit, he ignored the lie and simply suggested that it would be wise to first instruct the students in how to block unfriendly spells. It was then that Tamara caught his eye, and seeing her expression a pleased little smile formed on his lips.

Grudgingly, Lockhart agreed, and tried to set up a practice match between students. He first selected Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, but Snape objected.

"Weasley's wand causes devastation with even the simplest of spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a match box."

Though she felt sorry for poor Ron, Tamara giggled at the comment. She'd already heard he'd somehow managed to break his wand, and that it had been consistently backfiring since.

Snape recommended that Potter face Draco Malfoy instead. Remembering her promise to Remus, Tam discreetly fingered her wand just in case.

Draco struck the first blow by cheating, and firing before the count of three. Potter recovered and hit him back impressively. Snape lifted the boy off the table by his robes to push him back to his opponent.

"Serpensortia!" shouted Malfoy, and a cobra sprang forth onto the table.

Severus stepped forward to remove it, but the foolish Lockhart stopped him, insisting he would do it instead. Naturally, all he managed to do with his spell was fling the damn thing high into the air. Tam tensed, thinking it might land on one of the students. Thankfully, it came back down on the table.

After a few frightening moments where it looked as it would attack one of the young spectators, and a very strange conversation between it and Harry Potter in Parseltongue, Sev finally hit the snake with a spell that eliminated the cobra.

Finally breathing easy again, Tam strolled over to where Professor Snape was stepping down from the table.

He looked worried, but his eyes showed amusement, which she was sure came from getting the chance to openly knock Lockhart down a peg.

"Enjoy the show?" he asked her.

She laughed. "Yes actually, I did. I'm glad I had a free period. Next time you're going to do something like that though, please let me know in advance because if I miss it I'll be furious."

That earned her one of his usual smirks. "I'll keep that in mind" he assured her. "If you're still free, I've got time for a brief potions lesson. That little display has me thinking it might be prudent to brew up some snakebite antidote."

"Oh, I suppose that would be good to know how to do" she said, trying to sound casual rather than giving away the elation she felt at getting to spend some unexpected time alone with him brewing potion.

"You're worried" she commented, watching him stirring the simmering cauldron of snakebite antidote.

"Potter… he was the one who discovered Filch's cat, and now he's revealed that he's a Parselmouth, which is a rare skill indeed. A skill that was also possessed by Salazar Slytherin."

"Oh bugger" she sighed. "They'll all really be tittering now. Harry's not responsible though, that's silly."

"I agree. I only hope we can get it all sorted out before it gets too far out of hand."

That night she hadn't been able to sleep at all. The plain and simple truth was that she couldn't stop thinking about the Potions Master long enough to even try. There were so many things about him that appealed to her and the more she saw of him the longer the list got. She knew that most people didn't know what to make of him but to her, he was a delicious challenge that she simply could not resist. Also, the coincidence of their related wands had her all the more convinced that this was a person who was meant to be important in her life.

Tamara regularly sent owls to Remus, usually one a week, telling him about everything she was doing… but she left out any mention of Severus Snape. She wasn't really sure why she did it. She was pretty sure, knowing Remus, that he wouldn't be jealous, she just didn't quite feel right about telling him. A few times she had started to talk about him in her letters, and then scrapped them and started over.

When Christmas holiday break arrived Tam did in fact attend the Malfoy party with Severus. He warned her that it was a fairly lavish affair and that (much to his disgust and annoyance) they'd be expected to dress up. She decided on a green velvet dress that she hoped would be simple enough not to attract too much attention but also elegant enough to fit the occasion. As an extra touch she powdered her face, chest, and arms with silver body glitter. When she let herself into Sev's quarters she hoped he'd think it appropriate.

He was ready and waiting for her when she came in, and both of them had an awkward moment of silence when they saw each other.

He was wearing a beautiful black velvet jacket and her breath caught in her chest when she saw him. He looked like royalty, and it made her knees a bit weak. _All the bloody buggery tea-pots in the world couldn't have prepared me for this_ she thought, trying not to giggle at her own running in-joke.

"You look absolutely stunning" he said to her quietly.

She felt herself blush deeply at his compliment. "Thanks. So do you."

He blushed too, but simply shrugged. "I hate parties. I usually drink a lot and leave early. Since you're coming along and I want to keep an eye on you with these people I won't be drinking much but I still intend to leave early. Is that all right with you?"

She laughed. "Sure." She was still staring at him, and it was starting to make him squirm a bit. "One thing…" she said quietly, conjuring a hair brush with her wand. "May I?" she asked, smirking.

He rolled his eyes, but nodded, and she was glad that she had decided to wear high heels as she reached up to brush his hair. "There. Now you're going to give Lucius a run for his money, and considering how much of that he has, that's no small feat."

They had to leave the Hogwarts grounds to disapparate to Malfoy Manor. Tamara was impressed but not surprised by how magnificent the place was. At present it was full of extravagantly dressed witches and wizards who were sucking down expensive champagne and competing with each other over who had the most money and the purest bloodline.

Severus smirked and whispered in her ear "I'm probably the only half-blood who would be let in the door."

She giggled and put her arm through his, gripping his bicep with both hands. "Well stay right with me because pure blood or not I am absolutely terrified."

Tamara spotted Lucius Malfoy standing with Draco and a lovely blonde witch who she knew had to be his wife. Lucius looked at them and an amused smile formed on his lips. Severus led her in their direction.

When they reached their hosts Tamara saw Draco staring at them with his mouth open in shock. She fought the urge to laugh, knowing that for him, seeing his head of house potions master all dressed up and clung to by a female Hogwarts teacher had to be the last thing he'd expected this evening.

"Don't stare Draco, it isn't polite" Lucius chided.

This won Mrs. Malfoy's attention, and she turned in their direction. Seeing Severus Snape with a decked out and beautiful young witch caused her jaw to drop as well, but being a good hostess she recovered quickly.

"Severus, Miss Brookes, so glad you could join us. Miss Brookes this is my wife Narcissa. Darling this is the new Hogwarts art teacher, Tamara Brookes."

Tam didn't bother to correct him. She held out her hand to Narcissa who shook it lightly. "Lovely to meet you" the woman said with a careful smile. "A friend to Severus is a friend to us."

"Absolutely" Lucius agreed. He gave Sev a slap on the shoulder. "Let's leave the women to get acquainted for a bit, I have something I'd like us to discuss. Come along old man."

Severus gave Tamara a questioning glance and she put on a brave smile. "I'll be right back" he said quietly.

_So much for him not wanting me to be here without him_ she thought. _Oh well, if I stick with Draco I'll be all right. _She flashed the Slytherin boy a smile. They didn't know each other well, but she spent some time in the Slytherin common room so she knew all of the house's students at least a little. She knew Draco could be a bit of a bully but he had always been perfectly decent to her.

Narcissa spoke up. "Lucius told me that Dumbledore had you sorted."

Tam nodded. That seemed to be a popular subject with people. "Yes. I grew up in the U.S. so he thought it would be good for me to get a bit more of the Hogwarts experience."

Draco said "She got into Slytherin so she lives down in the dungeons with us." He looked proud, which Tam thought was sweet.

His mother smiled. "I see. That must be how you came to spend time with Severus?"

Tam nodded. "Yes. We're neighbors." She smiled.

"Lucius told me how lovely you were but I admit I hadn't expected him to be so correct. It isn't usual to see Severus in the company of pretty young girls. He has little time or interest generally in anything but his work" Narcissa explained.

"I've noticed that" Tam agreed.

"Your parents are both magical?" Mrs. Malfoy asked, trying to sound casual.

Spotting the trap immediately Tam smirked. "Yes they are."

"Good" the woman said. "We're glad to hear it. Severus is a good friend."

At that moment Lucius came back into view alone and put a hand on Tamara's bare shoulder. "Severus is in my study with a few other acquaintances of ours. He should be back momentarily, but in the mean time, I took the liberty of fetching you a drink."

He held a champagne flute out to Tamara that had a silver serpent coiled around the stem. She took it, impressed by how pretty the glass was. Sipping the drink she looked around the room at all of the guests. She spotted Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, over in the corner talking to some wealthy looking wizards. _This is an experience to remember_ she thought. _It's strange this champagne smells like cinnamon._

Just as she was taking the last sip from her glass a hand reached out and snatched it from her. She looked up confused to see Severus sniffing the glass. His eyes narrowed and he shot Lucius a deadly glare.

"We have to go_ now_" he said to Tamara, grabbing her hand. He pocketed the fancy champagne flute which she thought was very curious.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"You should notice within the next few minutes" he said with an irritated sigh.

"Leaving so soon old chap?" it was Lucius. "What's the rush? I'd looked forward to seeing you spend some more time here with your beautiful friend."

Sev's look was positively venomous. "I think it best if I get her back before the champagne goes to her head" he growled.

"Ah, I see. Feeling a bit anxious are you? I understand perfectly." He was teasing Severus, Tam could tell. Something was going on.

Suddenly she began to feel very strange. The sounds around her became fuzzy and her vision blurred a bit. She noticed that Sev's hand in hers seemed to be much warmer now. She had a strange and sudden urge to raise it to her lips and kiss it. She looked up into his eyes and started to feel very faint.

Severus leaned close to their host and she heard him snarl "Next time I thank you to keep your _help_ to yourself Lucius. I have never been in the habit of drugging women to gain their favor."

Malfoy's smile was that of a wolf. "That, my friend, is why I've done it for you. Your conscious is clear. Happy Christmas." He turned to Tamara "Enjoy your night my dear."

Sev made a furious sound and pulled her in the direction of the doors they had come in through.

When they were outside again in the snow Tam pitched herself desperately into his arms. "You're amazing" she said breathily. "I want you so much."

He sighed, looking the saddest she had ever seen him. "That is because he put a love potion into your drink. I warned you about him Tamara and I wish you would have listened because you are now in for a very long and unpleasant night. I can probably make an antidote back at the school once I can assess what exactly he used but it may take a while."

She shook her head helplessly. "I don't care about that, I need you. Please? I want you so much I can't stand it. Please Sev!" She kissed him, and nearly started to sob when he pulled away.

He gave her a sympathetic look but shook his head. "I'm sorry I know this is difficult for you to understand at present but I won't take advantage of you. We need to get you back to Hogwarts where Professor Dumbledore can look after you while I come up with a cure."

Severus apparated them back to the school grounds and actually slung her over his shoulder to get her back up the path to the gates faster. She steadied herself by placing an arm around his neck and the other on his lower back. The closeness to him was making her dizzy with desire, and she tried to wrap her body around him as if she were hoping to slip right into his clothes with him.

It seemed like no time at all before they were in Professor Dumbledore's office and Severus laid Tamara down on a soft sofa. It felt good on her shoulders so she wiggled a little and he had to yank to get her to let go of his neck.

The headmaster approached them. "Severus, what's happened? Shall I send for Poppy?"

Tamara heard Sev answer but she couldn't see him anymore as he was on the other side of the room now. "No, this is something I'll have to fix myself. I need to pinpoint what exactly was in this glass so I can come up with an antidote. I suspect…" he sounded miserable "that it is some sort of love potion."

Dumbledore sat down in the chair across from where Tam lay. "Oh my. A gift from the party?" he asked mildly.

Severus snarled. "A gift from Lucius Malfoy. He thought he was doing me a favor."

"Sev?" Tam called out. "Where'd you go? Come see me" she whined.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Miss Brookes? Tamara, how are you feeling at the moment my dear?"

Tam giggled. "Ummm… strange" she said. She was rolling around a bit on the couch like a kitten that had been into the catnip. "Where'd Sev go? It's really warm in here."

"Professor Snape is here Tamara, he's just trying to sort out what you've been given so that he can help you to feel back to yourself again. I promise you there is no one better for your current predicament than our Severus. He'll soon have you right as rain." He was smiling kindly, but Tam saw the concern in his eyes.

She giggled again. "I like him" she blurted. "He's so…" she made a purring noise and giggled some more. "There's nobody in the world like him, I'm sure. D'you think he likes me too? Prolly not, I'm not anywhere near interesting enough for someone like him."

She heard her crush speak up again from wherever he'd gone off to. "It's my fault Headmaster. I was so adamant that she stay right with me because I know Lucius can't be trusted and then I let him separate us nearly as soon as we'd arrived. He said he needed to discuss something with me and I thought it might be… important… so I went. I thought she'd be safe with Narcissa but Lucius left me with Crabbe and slipped back out to give her a dosed drink."

The Headmaster sighed. "Don't blame yourself Severus, it could well have been something important for us to know. You certainly would have never willingly put Miss Brookes into such a situation as this, and I know you'll do your very best to put things right."

Tam let out a goofy snort. "Sev come put me right…" she laughed. "Oh Merlin, why am I saying these things out loud?" she asked Dumbledore pleadingly.

The older wizard gave her a comforting pat on the head. "No worries Miss Brookes, we understand your predicament." Lowering his voice to a whisper so that only she could hear him he asked "He doesn't know how you feel about him does he?"

She shook her head, her eyes starting to water.

Still whispering "The potion hasn't brought about the feelings has it? Just the need to… act on them?"

She nodded, and started to giggle again. "It hurts" she mumbled. "He's nice, you know" she said, louder now. "Everybody thinks he's not but he really is. He's very nice; you just have to know how to take him. He's really brilliant too. I can't believe how brilliant sometimes. He smells good, and he's got the cutest hands. I like how he wears his sleeves."

Dumbledore was chuckling softly.

"It's not funny" scolded Severus, clearly irritated and very disturbed. "This is not any love potion I've seen before and if I can't place it I can't neutralize it."

"Just come and fix me yourself" Tam called deliriously, still squirming on the couch. "That's what I need anyway." Remembering that her boss was sitting across from her she blushed. "Sorry sir, I shouldn't say that…"

"It's quite all right my dear" Dumbledore reassured her. Then he stood up and stepped out of her sight. "Severus, if I may make a suggestion, I think perhaps you are looking in the wrong direction here…" He was still talking, but he was speaking to Severus too softly for her to hear.

Still unable to hold still, Tam rolled off of the sofa and onto the stone floor. She heard two sets of shoes heading quickly towards her, and it was Severus who reached her first. He swiftly placed her back on the sofa and she took the opportunity to plant a wet smooch on his mouth. He pulled away quickly and she whined for him to come back.

The headmaster sat back down in the chair. "Fear not my dear. We're headed down the proper path now. Professor Snape should have a cure whipped up momentarily. In the meantime Tamara, do try and remember that Severus, being a true gentleman, would never want to take advantage of your current condition. He means you no disrespect, as I'm sure you mean none to him."

She shook her head vigorously and almost fell on the floor again, but Dumbledore caught her and gave her a gentle push back on.

"No. I respect Sev a lot. Is he mad at me?" she asked nervously.

"I'm sure he isn't" Dumbledore said gently.

Severus spoke up again from where he was working. "No I'm not angry with _you_ dear little friend. I'm furious with myself, and Lucius Malfoy would do well to avoid me for a while, but you've done nothing wrong."

About a half hour later he finally had an antidote ready for her, and reluctant to get too close, he had Professor Dumbledore make sure she took it. The effects of the potion vanished almost immediately, and Tamara, though embarrassed, couldn't help but laugh at herself.

She stood up and walked over to a very disgruntled looking Severus. "I am so sorry!" she said, biting her lip to avoid laughing in his face. "Please forgive me for acting like such a nut."

He smirked, but still looked uncomfortable. "No need to apologize. It was my fault, not yours. I should have never left you alone."

Dumbledore placed a hand on each of their shoulders. "All's well that ends well, I say. Severus why don't you see Miss Brookes down to her quarters and both of you get some rest? It's been a very eventful evening."

Severus walked with her down to the dungeons and their shared hallway. Neither of them said anything, still feeling too awkward. When they reached Tamara's door she turned to her friend and said "Stay with me?"

He gave her a nervous look and she laughed.

"I'm fine! I just don't want to be alone. I swear I won't try to molest you."

He chuckled, which surprised her. "All right."

A while later, she was lying in her bed with her head on Severus' chest. "You don't ever sleep do you?" she asked, amused. He was still fully clothed, and wouldn't even take his boots off. Apparently after earlier he was taking no chances.

"Not much" he admitted.

"Thanks for being so gallant" she said quietly. "Dumbledore's right, you really are a true gentleman for being so patient with me when I was acting like a drunken tart." She snickered again, thinking of some of the things she'd said earlier. She looked and saw that he was smirking.

"You're quite welcome. Thank you for not despising me for letting that happen to you" he said.

She snuggled back into his chest. "Nah. I think you were more traumatized than me. The worst of it as far as I'm concerned was that I behaved that way in front of the Headmaster." She laughed again. "Anyway, you warned me, and I knew that drink smelled funny. I should have set it down. It's my fault, not yours, so don't worry about it ok?"

"Are you always this affectionate with your friends?" he asked her, sounding amused.

"No" she giggled. "You're a special case it seems. Does it bother you?"

He shook his head. "Not at all."

The following day at breakfast Gilderoy Lockhart approached Tamara and had the nerve to brush a strand of hair back from her face. Upon seeing Tam cringe, Severus stepped in between them and, glaring fiercely, snarled out loud at the other professor.

"Back up" he said, sounding deadly.

Lockhart gaped at him, but didn't argue. He also didn't ever speak to Tamara again. She felt a bit sorry for him really, but was also thrilled that she had such a devoted protector. She never dared ask Severus why he had reacted so strongly.


	5. Happy Birthday?

Just after the New Year, January the ninth in fact, Tamara found her friend in a _very_ sour mood. He didn't appear at breakfast and by lunchtime Tam had already overheard from several student conversations that today would be a good day to avoid the Potions Master, even if it meant hexing oneself in order to get out of class. Apparently he was as hateful as a wounded dragon today, and had been handing out detentions like they were party favors.

When the time came for their private potions lesson that evening after dinner she found him waiting grumpily for her in his office.

"You're late" he snapped.

She stared at him, fully aware that it had been six o'clock for only about thirty seconds. "Um. Ok. Sorry."

"Let's get on with it" he grumbled, flinging open the door to the potions classroom and impatiently gesturing her through it. When she turned around to look at him again she noticed that he was walking with a slight limp. That was odd. She opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong but the look on his face made her reconsider.

Severus had made her restart the calming drought they were working on twice when the Headmaster entered the room.

"Hello Miss Brookes" he said cheerfully. "I did not mean to interrupt your lesson; I simply wanted to come down to make sure I got the chance to wish…"

Snape spun around and leveled a vicious glare at his employer but it went unnoticed by the elder wizard.

"Severus a very happy birthday."

Tam gasped, and she noticed Severus roll his eyes miserably.

"I realize it's nearly over at this point, but better late than never I suppose" said Dumbledore. His blue eyes were glittering mischievously and Tamara knew that this had been a very carefully orchestrated visit.

"Thank you _so very much_ Albus" Severus said, not bothering to disguise his irritation.

"You're very welcome my friend" Dumbledore replied sweetly. He smiled at Tamara before excusing himself from the room. "I do hope you'll find time to join me for a brandy later this evening. In the meantime, I have some reading I'd like to catch up on. Good evening Miss Brookes."

"Good night sir" she said, smiling.

She wasn't sure at first what she should say to Severus, but she knew that she could not let this go without some sort of acknowledgment.

"Happy birthday" she finally said quietly.

He snarled. "What in the hell is supposed to be so happy about it? Quite frankly I have yet to have a _happy_ one in my entire life. It is merely a reminder that another year has added itself to my age, and it is without exception always a positively abysmal and disastrous day. I see no need to make any note of it."

She frowned. This would not do. "What's happened that's so abysmal and disastrous?"

He let out a bitter bark of mirthless laughter. "This year, or were you referring to those previous?"

"This year for a start."

"I awoke this morning to promptly twist my ankle on the way to the shower and in my first class this morning a second year student caused an explosion of such magnificence that it completely incinerated an entire lab table. I had to dismiss the class and clean up the mess myself to keep any of the idiots from hurting themselves on the volatile substance he managed to concoct."

"Oh" she mumbled.

"_Then_ after lunch I received a letter informing me that the rare book I ordered _two months_ ago has apparently been lost in transit and there is no way of knowing if it will in fact ever be located. A young man in my fourth year class thought it would be amusing to ladle a bit of enlarging potion down the shirt of a female classmate and when her… chest… grew to a truly disturbing proportion she had to be taken to the hospital wing. It was of course, my responsibility to explain to Madam Pomfrey what had happened to the girl."

Tam bit her bottom lip hard, willing down the giggles that were gathering in her throat.

"After that I tripped in the corridor over Filch's bloody cat and managed to re-injure the ankle I twisted this morning so I have spent the remainder of the day in pain with a ridiculous limp. Now I have to stand here and watch you putter about with a potion that I _know_ you couldn't give half a happy damn about when all I really want to do is go to bed and put an end to this miserable day."

That last bit had stung her, and he could see it on her face. He felt sorry at once, but his pride got the better of him and he merely scowled all the harder.

"Sit down" she ordered.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Sit!" she said, louder this time.

He grabbed a stool from the table behind them and sat on it. Tam dropped to her knees and looked up at him questioningly. "Which ankle?" she asked.

Feeling a bit silly, he wiggled his right leg. She carefully lifted his foot into her lap and slid his boot and sock off. He fought unsuccessfully against the little giggle that came over him from the tickle of her fingers on his foot and she grinned.

"Ticklish?" she asked, her blue eyes full of amusement.

"I'd rather not answer that" he said. "For my own protection."

Tam laughed. She slid her hand up around his ankle and could feel it was definitely swollen. "Aww. I'll bet that does hurt. Why didn't you take a pain potion?"

He sighed. "Because I gave the last of what I had to Madam Pomfrey for the hospital yesterday and I did not want to go down there whining over a sore foot."

Smirking, Tam pulled off the black scarf she had worn tied in her hair that day. She set it on the floor.

"Aguamenti!" She soaked the scarf with water from the end of her wand and wrapped it gently around his ankle. Once this was done she muttered a second spell to freeze it solid, along with a stasis charm to keep the ice from melting.

"There" she said. "That should help."

"Thank you" he said quietly, humbled by her sweetness.

"You're welcome" she replied. "I'm confused about something though. Mrs. Norris is petrified, remember? How many cats are here at Hogwarts?"

Severus cocked his head in thought. "Hmm. It seems I may owe Professor McGonagall an apology."

Tamara grinned up at him and after a short but heavenly foot massage she carefully put his sock and boot back on him and stood up.

"With treatment like this I should find a way to injure myself more often" he teased.

"You don't have to get hurt you just have to ask" she informed him, still grinning. "Now it's time to fix the rest of your birthday. Come with me."

He went along, unable to say no to her after she had been so kind. He quickly realized that they were heading towards the kitchens. What was she up to?

When they arrived she addressed the house elves. "I need some help from you all" she said to them. "Um… what's your favorite sweet?" she asked Severus.

He smirked "That won't be necessary…."

"Yes it is. _What_ is your favorite _sweet_?" she asked again, this time in a manner that suggested she meant business.

"Chocolate" he muttered, feeling thoroughly chastised.

"Right." She turned back to the assembled elves. "Get me out what I need to make a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting please" she instructed them. "Also, we need green and silver sprinkles."

Severus snorted, and she glared at him. He shut up at once and tried to look innocent.

"You're going to have a proper cake and you're going to like it" she growled.

"Is this a birthday or a kidnapping?" he wondered aloud, his dark eyes shining.

Tamara swatted him in the chest, and he chuckled.

A while later the cake was in the oven and Tamara was finishing mixing up the frosting when a hand sneakily slid by her to dip a finger in the bowl. She slapped it, but it quickly darted up and smeared her cheek with the sweet sticky chocolate.

With a yelp of indignation she whipped around to attack him with her messy mixing spoon. He dodged the assault and grabbed her around the waist. He took the spoon away and wrestled her arms down to her sides. Laughing evilly he coated his finger with more frosting and aimed it towards her face.

"It is not nice to seek revenge against someone when it is their birthday" he scolded, his voice full of mischief. "In fact that would suggest rather bad manners. If you promise to be nice I won't use this, but if you break your promise… you will not be shown another moment of mercy."

Tam was still struggling but she was also now laughing hysterically.

"Do you promise?" he asked.

"Yes!" she laughed.

"You must say "Severus, I promise I will not attack you with anymore chocolate or any other item within this kitchen because it is your birthday and that would be terribly cruel" and then I will let you go."

Tam howled with more laughter but eventually she did manage to squeal "Severus I promise I won't attack you with anything because it is your birthday" in between gasps.

As soon as he let go she spun around and grabbed his wrist. Bringing his hand to her mouth she sucked the chocolate off of his finger seductively. His breath hitched and she gave him a naughty little smile.

_Oh this witch is trouble_he thought to himself. _Lots and lots of trouble_.

After they had enjoyed some cake with the grateful Hogwarts house elves Tamara told Severus to wait for her in his quarters. He decided that since so far she had shown him a surprisingly good time, he may as well go along with the rest without a fight.

Tam scurried around in her own rooms, trying desperately to find something that would do as a gift. There was no time to go shopping now, obviously, so whatever it was it had to be something that already belonged to her. Unfortunately she was not having much luck.

Suddenly, glancing up at the wind chimes she had hung in her bedroom, she had an idea. She reached up and carefully took them down, setting them on her bed. Within a few minutes she had managed to conjure up a matching set and had charmed them with the spell she had in mind. The test she knew would have to be performed in Sev's presence so she hoped it would actually work.

She was completely in awe of how much fun they'd had in the last couple of hours. She always enjoyed his company, but the way he had cut loose and allowed himself to actually _play_ with her today had come as a complete shock. Tam was determined that the evening should finish as perfectly as possible for him.

Severus was stretched out on his leather sofa when she came bursting back through his doorway. He smirked at her excitement.

"Ok" she panted. "I had to improvise, but I had a neat idea." Looking around the room she realized that something else was missing. "For some reason I have never quite perfected this spell" she mumbled "but here goes…"

Waving her wand she called out "Orchideous maxima!" and heaved a sigh of relief as several large bouquets of roses appeared randomly around the room.

Severus laughed, which gave Tam a warm feeling of accomplishment. "You are thorough, I'll give you that" he said.

She grinned and handed him a tiny box. When he opened it a set of wind chimes popped out, once again returning to their full size. It startled him enough that he nearly fell off of the couch, but he laughed again anyway.

"They are matched to the set I have" she explained. "I charmed them so that if you want to talk to me, or vice versa, all you have to do is tap yours and mine will play too. So, from now on, if you hear your chimes ring randomly it means I am about to bother you."

He smiled sweetly and it was _such_ an unexpected expression from him that she actually got a bit nervous. _Wow, he's never been like this before. I'm so glad I got to do this_ she thought, a lump of emotion forming in her throat.

"Thank you" he said quietly. They stared at each other for a few minutes until he got up off of the couch and approached her.

"From now on whenever someone utters those two ridiculous words to me… happy birthday… I will think back to this evening and remember that it _is_possible after all. I have, in spite of a rough start, had a very nice birthday because of you."

She felt her eyes start to tear and gave him a hug


	6. I Really Love This Place

_Thank you so much for the reviews! I was so excited to see that I actually had some, and that they were positive! That means a lot! I was nervous about posting this story, so I'm glad it's being enjoyed. This chapter is short, but it will be followed promptly by some more. I have a lot to post today!_

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><p>By Valentine's day, there had been no more attacks on Muggle-borns since poor Justin Finch-Fletchley (and in the process Nearly Headless Nick), and Severus told Tamara that Professor Sprout's mandrakes were close to being matured. As glad as she was that nobody else had been petrified, it still disturbed her that no one was any closer to identifying the culprit.<p>

Lockhart had decided that it would be a good morale boost for the students to make a big fuss out of the Valentine's holiday. He had decorated the great hall with garish flowers and heart confetti, and hired dwarfs to be "cupids" delivering singing Valentines. Tamara was relieved to find him still too intimidated by Severus to have one sent to her, but she nearly choked on her pumpkin juice at breakfast when she heard him suggest to the students that they ask Professor Snape to "whip up" love potions for them. Seeing the look of pure hatred on Sev's face nearly sent her into a giggling fit, and she bit her bottom lip hard to keep it under control. She had a feeling laughing would not be a good idea.

Unfortunately, just after everyone returned from Easter holiday break, the calm was broken when another muggle-born student was in fact petrified. It was Hermione Granger, Harry Potter's clever friend. The poor girl had apparently been attacked in the library. To Tam's horror, Hagrid, because of his supposed past involvement with the chamber of secrets, was arrested and taken to Azkaban prison. The very same night Lucius Malfoy returned to the castle to inform Dumbledore that he was being suspended.

"What are the governors thinking?" Tam asked Severus. "If the Headmaster isn't here things are just going to get worse. You know, with the way that Lucius feels about muggles and muggle-borns I'd swear he _wants_someone to be killed."

The look her friend gave her said it all.

"Oh" she mumbled. "That's the point isn't it?"

Severus nodded. "Probably" he confirmed. "Plus it's no secret that the Malfoys are no fans of Professor Dumbledore. Lucius has wanted to see him ousted for years. The sooner the one behind these attacks can be found the better the chances of our Headmaster being reinstated."

"Severus… can you explain to me _why_ you are friends with that person?"

He sighed. "I'm afraid that is rather complicated."

Tamara was in the music room grading some quizzes when Minerva's voice rang out through the school. All students were to return to their dormitories and all teachers were to report to the second floor corridor immediately.

When she arrived, she found most of the rest of the teachers already there. She gave Severus a worried look, and then noticed the writing on the wall._Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever._

Minerva explained to them that a girl had been taken by the monster.

Just then, Lockhart sauntered over. "So sorry! Dozed off. What have I missed?"

Severus spoke up. "A girl has been snatched by the monster Lockhart. Your moment has come at last."

The other man looked nervous. "My moment?" he stuttered.

"Weren't you saying just last night that you've known all along where the entrance to the chamber of secrets is?"

Tamara hid behind Severus to conceal her smirk.

"That's settled" said Minerva, looking amused. "We'll leave you to deal with the monster Gilderoy. Your skills after all are legend."

Lockhart looked sick. "Very well. I'll just be in my office getting um… getting ready." He walked away and Tamara rolled her eyes. She made a mental note to congratulate Sev later for devising such a brilliant method of getting the silly git out of their way.

"Who is it that the monster's taken Minerva?" asked Madam Pomfrey.

Professor McGonagall looked stricken. "Ginny Weasley."

Naturally they all wanted to find the poor girl but no one had any idea where to even begin looking. Tam knew that Severus had been researching as much as he could about Salazar Slytherin and had thoroughly searched the dungeons, knowing that they were the area of the castle most closely associated with his house. He'd made no real progress in spite of his efforts.

Minerva told the heads of house to go and tell their students they'd all be going home tomorrow, and the rest of the teachers were sent to check the corridors and ensure that there were no students out of their dormitories. Tam fought the urge to go and check on Harry, knowing that as a Gryffindor, he was McGonagall's responsibility. Instead she followed Severus down to the dungeons and checked the hallways while he addressed the Slytherins.

Unfortunately it appeared that young Ginny was on her own, and that Hogwarts would be closed within twenty-four hours. Tam wondered sadly if Fred, George, and their brothers had been told of their little sister's disappearance.

Late into the night, sitting in the Slytherin common room silently brooding over their frustrations, Tam and Severus were surprised to hear Professor Flitwick's voice arguing with the painting that guarded the door.

"Listen, I don't know the password but I need to speak with Professor Snape!"

Severus stood up and went to open the door. "What is it Filius?"

"Ah, Severus! I just wanted to let you know that the Weasley girl has been found! It seems her brother and Harry Potter accompanied Professor Lockhart to look for her, and they managed to get into the chamber." The little man was beaming with relief.

"Lockhart?" Severus repeated, astonished.

Flitwick smirked. "Yes, well… between us, I don't think he had much to do with discovering the chamber _or_ rescuing the girl. It would appear that Mr. Potter is the one to thank for that."

Tam was thrilled, but honestly she wasn't sure what would irritate Severus more, Lockhart having saved the day or poor little Harry doing it.

"In any case" Flitwick went on. "They are all safe, and Professor Sprout has finished with the mandrakes. It seems that instead of the school closing tomorrow, we'll have everything back to normal. The best news I've saved for last… the Headmaster has returned, and he'll be getting poor Hagrid out of Azkaban. All is well."

Tamara couldn't help but tear up at the end of year feast when Hagrid strode through the doors into the great hall. The thought of such a dear man in such a horrible place made her skin crawl. When the students gave him a standing ovation she'd felt like her heart could positively burst.

_Oh how I love this place_ she thought, clapping. _Thank you Remus for insisting I come here!_

In truth, Tamara had come to love her job so much that she was sad to see the year end. Hogwarts was amazing, the students were a joy, and the friends she had made on the staff were some of the best people she'd ever met. She was going to miss them over the summer.

There was, of course, one in particular she was very much dreading bidding farewell.

She decided to do it in his office rather than his private rooms. She thought she'd be less likely to humiliate herself by crying there.

"Well" she said. "I'm going home in a moment. Going back to London by train this time, rather than floo."

"Good luck to you. I tend to avoid the long, crowded ride myself."

Was that it? Was that all he was going to say? She waited for a few minutes, but he was still busily packing random items into a black leather bag.

"Hmm. Yeah. Well, anyway, I just wanted to say goodbye…"

His eyes shot up from what he was doing. "Aren't you coming back in the fall?" He suddenly sounded a bit agitated.

"Yes, I am" she explained. "I just wanted to say goodbye for now. Until we come back." She felt silly, and she knew her face was red.

Severus stared at her for a moment. "I see" he said finally.

Tam rolled her eyes. With an exasperated sigh she walked over to him and flung her arms around his neck. Squeezing him tight, she said ""I'm going to miss you Sev. You're a great friend."

He patted her back awkwardly. "Yes. Well. Thank you. I shall… I shall miss you as well."


	7. Canine Friend?

Tamara was lugging her bags towards the train on Platform 9 ¾ when she was stopped in her tracks by the sight of a flier tacked up on a pole. _HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WIZARD? SIRIUS BLACK._

_I know him_ she thought. _Where have I seen him and heard that name?_ She stared for a while until it finally came back to her. The man on the wanted poster was of course much older, and unfortunately much less sane-looking than the boy she had seen in Remus' old picture. She remembered she had asked who the other boys were, and Remus had said "Sirius Black" and… another name, but she couldn't remember it now. Was it Paul? Peter? It didn't really matter. _This_ man, who it said should be approached with extreme caution, had been a school friend of Remus Lupin, and was now a dangerous criminal. _No wonder he didn't say any more than the name._

She realized that if she didn't get a move on she was going to miss the train. Taking a last glance at the man on the flier, Tam took off at a run.

Because she'd been late, she ended up being crammed into a compartment with several students. Thankfully, they were at least well behaved students, so though the trip was crowded, it at least didn't have to be unpleasant.

Tamara had dozed off for a while when she was awoken by the sudden stop of the train. She knew it was too soon for them to have arrived at Hogwarts. Something was wrong. It was raining hard, but she didn't think that had anything to do with it.

The lights all went out and the thunder crashed outside. To Tamara's horror, the windows on the compartment began freezing over, and the entire train shook with a jolt. Then she saw them… Azkaban Dementors… sliding menacingly down the aisle.

"Stay quiet and don't draw their attention" she whispered to the terrified students near her.

They passed by without incident, and as soon as it had begun it seemed to be over with. The windows thawed, the lights came back on, and the train began to move again. "It's ok" she said to the students. "All done now, and I doubt they'll be back. Don't worry."

A man came walking briskly down the aisle, presumably heading for the conductor. Tam's eyes widened and she shouted "Remus!"

He stopped and turned back, smiling, but he looked nervous. "Tamara! There you are. I had wondered why I didn't see you."

"I was late. Almost missed the train. What are you doing here?" she asked, somewhat irritated that he had said nothing to her about being headed for Hogwarts.

He gave her a sheepish look. "I can see you're annoyed with me, please don't be. I meant to surprise you, not to hide anything! I'm going to be taking on the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this year."

She couldn't stay mad at him with news like that. "That's the best news I've had in a long time! What in the hell were those Dementors doing on a train full of children though?"

Remus sighed. "I presume they were looking for their escaped prisoner."

Tam decided to tread carefully around mentioning Black to Remus. She wasn't sure how he felt about that situation, but she knew it wasn't good. "I saw the fliers. Are you going to talk to the driver?"

He nodded "Yes. Listen, I'll be right back and we'll get all caught up."

Severus Snape wasn't used to _looking forward_ to anything. It just didn't happen in his life. It had come as a bit of a shock when he had realized that he was actually _looking forward_ to the start of the school year so that he could once again be subjected to the thinly veiled adoration of the cheerful young music teacher.

At first he had told himself it was because not many people actually _appreciated_ anything he did at Hogwarts or anywhere else for that matter, and it was refreshing to finally meet someone who recognized that he knew what he was talking about and _listened_ to him. She had made a habit of asking for his advice and actually _following_ it, and she never exuded that polite but uncomfortable manner that most people adopted when they were in his presence. On the contrary, she had regularly sought out his company and seemed to truly enjoy it. He honestly couldn't remember even a handful of people who had done that in his entire life.

As he thought about it more and more (much to his own irritation) he realized that, while all that was a pleasant development indeed, the truth of the matter was that _he_ enjoyed her company as well, and had seemingly grown a bit of a… oh how this vexed and humiliated him… a bit of a _crush_ on the girl.

Other than one brief and ill-fated mistake of a relationship as a teenager, not since Lily Evans had he thought of anyone in… well, _that sort of way._ Feeling he had experienced enough disappointment and heartbreak for one lifetime he had been very determined to avoid doing so ever again. He would love Lily until he died, he knew, and he would do everything in his power to fulfill his final purpose of defeating the ones responsible for her death and keeping her son safe. That was why he was here, and he had accepted it. He hadn't ever given the least thought to the idea of anything else… or specifically _anyone_else coming along to complicate things.

Why would he have ever even considered such a thing before? The one time other than Lily that he'd ever _fancied_ _anyone_ it had been a horrible disaster, and of course his feelings for Lily had always been completely unrequited. As far as he was aware, there was nobody who'd ever truly thought much of him that way. He knew he wasn't handsome and he didn't have the sort of personality to make up for it like some did. It had bothered him in his youth, but even then only because of Lily. He'd spent many years wishing that there could be _something_ to make her return his affection. _Anything_ that could have won her love for him would have done, no matter what it was. When their friendship had ended over his own stupid pride he had lost all hope of ever having her, but had never stopped loving her. Unfortunately, he'd failed her yet again in failing to protect her from Voldemort. His focus ever since was on righting that wrong. He hadn't thought of the possibility of what he might do with himself _after_ it all, should he survive.

Severus knew that the Dark Lord _would_ return and that he _would_ have to take serious personal risks to help defeat him. He'd never really bothered to speculate as to whether or not he would still be alive at the end of it all, if they actually managed to rid the world of Lord Voldemort once and for all. He thought that maybe… just maybe it was an idea now worth considering.

For some reason far beyond him, the girl did seem to like him. She wasn't obnoxious about it, like the few female (and one male, which had been even more uncomfortable) Slytherin students who had tried to win his favor by flirting with him over the years. They'd followed him around tossing out empty compliments and leaving silly (and occasionally lewd) little love notes. This girl was different. He'd stopped using legilimency on her for the most part the day he'd met her, when she'd (rather gently, he had to admit) let him know she knew what he was up to, but he could tell that she was being genuine in her pleasantness towards him. The few forays he'd had a chance to take into her mind on that first day had shown him that he did have an effect on her, and although she seemed less flustered by it as they had gotten to know each other more over the course of the year, he knew she still found him impressive, and not in a fearful way as the students (and some of the other staff) always did.

He allowed himself a rare smile when he thought of their private potions lessons. Tamara was by her own admission, positively abysmal at potion making. She tried hard at every task he had given her, and had more success than she had expected to, but he could tell, other than a few particularly useful to know formulas, she wasn't retaining much of it. He strongly suspected that she couldn't care less for potions, but tried her best in order to avoid disappointing him. From an actual student he would have found such a deception irritating, and would likely have them removed from his class. From her, knowing that she wasn't required to take the lessons at all, he found it touching.

When that ridiculous fraudulent swine Lockhart had taken to pursuing her last year it was himself she had turned to for help rather than anyone else. He had taken great pride in that fact, for she easily could have spoken to McGonagall or even Dumbledore himself. Instead, she had actually created her own charm for alerting Severus to her distress when the fool got too close for comfort. He'd thoroughly enjoyed turning up to interrupt every time Lockhart thought he was making progress, and she always looked so _delighted_ to see him arrive.

Even the incident at Lucius Malfoy's Christmas party, as humiliating as it had been to Severus, hadn't seemed to upset Tamara much at all. In fact, she seemed to find it more amusing than anything else, and it had seemed to bring them closer rather than dissuade her from seeing him. She had even gone out of her way to make sure he had, for once, a good time on his birthday.

It was strange to him at first how openly affectionate and relaxed she was with him. He'd never really felt comfortable with being touched by others, as it was something he was for the most part, totally unused to, but he'd had to get used to it with Tamara. She was a very affectionate person, not afraid to bestow hugs on people she cared for, and as close as she had gotten to Severus, he had ended up serving as a pillow for her on more than a few occasions. It made him extremely nervous, but in spite of that he secretly reveled in the attention.

Over the summer he'd had to get used to being alone in the evenings again since during the school year she'd made a habit of spending more time in his quarters than her own. They didn't always talk, in fact a lot of the time they would be reading, or working on their individual lesson plans, but they were in the same room, and he had, much to his surprise, sorely missed her presence when he was alone in his own house at Spinner's End. He'd often caught himself daydreaming about having her dark brown hair against his face again, and hearing her soft voice. He missed her more than he had expected to.

Standing outside of the performing arts room, Severus found himself beginning to get impatient. He knew her well enough to know she would come to her classroom as soon as she was in the castle, before she even went to her own quarters. At first he'd intended to simply wait in his own rooms and leave a magical alarm to alert him to her presence in their shared hallway, but the thrill he got from the thought of getting to see her again had driven him to wait here instead. He hoped she wouldn't ask him what he was doing there, because he still hadn't been able to figure out what to say if she did.

Finally he heard her familiar laugh, and his eyes shot up to watch for her. They narrowed instantly upon the sight he was greeted with. Tamara was approaching her classroom, but she wasn't by herself. She was holding the hand of Remus Lupin. _Holding hands and laughing_ with a nemesis of his youth. The nemesis that had been given the job he'd been applying to get for years.

Snape had argued long and hard with Dumbledore against hiring Lupin for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. Aside from the fact that he'd tried (and failed) to get it himself for several years, with news of Sirius Black's escape from Azkaban he personally thought it very unwise to have Lupin back at Hogwarts, and that was also _aside_ from the fact that the man transformed into a deadly beast at every full moon. There had never been any love lost between him and Lupin, as he was one of James Potter's faithful followers, who had made Snape's school years a living hell. _Now_ he was _holding hands _with the only woman who'd shown any genuine interest in Severus that he could remember… and she was bloody _laughing._

_Not again_ he thought to himself, and the wound to his pride fanned the flames of rage that were taking off in his head.

"Sev!" she called to him, and he flinched involuntarily. She dropped Lupin's hand and came up to where he stood by the classroom door.

"Miss Brookes" he said coolly, his enthusiasm effectively extinguished.

Lupin stopped next to Tamara. "Hello Severus" he said politely.

Tamara looked from one man to the other, questions written plainly on her face. "You two know each other?" she asked, sounding a bit suspicious.

Remus nodded. "Yes, of course we do. Severus was in my year at school."

Tam searched Snape's face. She could tell he was _not_ happy to see Remus and a thick lump of nervousness formed in her chest. _Were they enemies? What do I do now?_

"Yes" Snape confirmed. "Tell me Tamara how is it you know my old classmate?" His voice was made of solid ice, and he wasn't attempting to hide it.

Tam swallowed, feeling extremely uncomfortable. "We…" she started, but Remus cut her off.

"Tamara and I met in Paris the spring before last. We're good friends" he explained.

She nodded. "Yes, he actually got me my job here. He wrote to Dumbledore on my behalf." She gave Remus a swat on the arm and continued "And he didn't tell me he was teaching here too this year, so it was a surprise to find him on the train."

Snape spoke to Tamara but continued to level his venomous gaze on Lupin. "I trust he's confided in you the nature of his particularly difficult medical condition, if you are such close friends?"

Remus sighed and shook his head.

Tam nodded. "Of course, but it's not really common knowledge so we probably shouldn't speak about that here in the hallway." She was at a total loss as to how to handle to obvious awkwardness between her two friends, and her joy at seeing Remus again was now replaced by the fear that she might lose what ground she'd gained last year in her friendship with Severus. "Sev, you don't remember the picture on my desk? I thought you'd have seen it last year."

_She has his picture on her desk? How in the bleeding hell did I fail to notice that?_ Severus finally looked her in the eyes, and said "No, I'm afraid I hadn't ever noticed."

Lupin smiled at her, and she explained to him "It's the one we took when we first got to London."

Snape made a mental note to make sure he got a look at her desk as soon as she had that picture back out. Out loud he said "As lovely as this reunion has been, I'm afraid I have some work to do to prepare for the start of classes tomorrow, so if you'll excuse me…"

Tam nodded, glad that the horrible moment was coming to an end. "Of course!" He started to walk, and feeling rather desperate she quickly ran up to his side to add "If it's ok I'd planned on coming to see you later on, is the password the same?"

He didn't look at her. "You can knock."

Saddened, she walked back to where Remus was waiting for her outside of her classroom.

"Well, that was all sorts of awful wasn't it?" he said sympathetically.

She rolled her eyes. "That's a bit of an understatement. The man is a puzzle."

He laughed, as they went into the music room. "Speaking of understatements!" He was shaking his head again. "You hadn't mentioned becoming acquainted with the formidable Severus Snape in any of your owls, so I admit I am surprised to find him waiting for you."

Tam looked even more confused. "Waiting for me? Do you think that's what he was doing?"

Remus nodded. "I am nearly sure of it. I don't see any other reason he'd have for standing outside your classroom if he wasn't. He also looked absolutely livid at finding you with me, so you've definitely captured his attention in some capacity." He could see that the encounter had Tamara upset, and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble."

She swatted him in the chest and then put her arms around his waist. "No! It's not your fault. I'm thrilled that you're here. The only thing for me that was missing from this wonderful place, my dear, was you!"

He gave her a squeeze and then stepped back. "Tam, I'm glad to be here, and I missed you terribly, but I still stand by my insistence that we…"

She snorted. "Oh Lord! Remus don't worry about that. I'm over it, and I'm fine. I think your reasoning was lousy, but I came to the conclusion a while back that I wasn't really as ready to give my life to one man as I had thought."

Her dear friend looked relieved, and quite amused. "Glad to hear it. Besides, I don't really see myself being the marrying kind if you know what I mean. You deserve to one day find some great wizard who can do you justice and give you lots of lovely future Hogwarts attending children. You don't deserve to be tied to a penniless aging werewolf!"

"Don't talk like that" she scolded. "You're amazing, and any witch would be lucky to have you, I know, because for a while I _was_ lucky enough to have you and don't think that I will ever forget a moment of it. I am dead serious Remus Lupin, and I don't want to have to say it again. If you ever find a woman who is truly worthy of you, I hope you won't be too stubborn to let her in."

He decided it was time to change the subject. "Yes, well, back to that interesting scene in the hallway… what exactly did you get up to last year that got you on the radar of the Prince of Darkness anyway?"

She laughed in spite of herself. "That's not nice Remus." She felt herself blushing. "On my first day I rather spectacularly crashed into him."

Lupin threw his head back with his laughter, imagining how that whole scenario may have played. "And he didn't incinerate you on the spot with a fiery verbal assault?"

She shook her head, giggling. "No, he didn't. Dumbledore was there, so that might have been why he restrained himself. Anyway, he ended up coming along with us then up to the headmaster's office where they stuck the sorting hat on me."

He looked surprised. "Dumbledore had you sorted? Why in the world would he sort a teacher, and more importantly why didn't you tell me about that? What else did you fail to mention in your owls?"

"Oh, you don't like it when people keep secrets?" she taunted. "It's a taste of your own medicine I think _Professor_. I didn't want to tell you because… well I was sorted into Slytherin."

He looked shocked, but not as horrified as she'd feared he would be.

She continued. "Dumbledore thought it would be good for me to have a house to identify with, since I never went to school here, and I was taking some classes myself last year to catch up my own magical education. Anyway, because that's the house I belonged in, my quarters were put in the dungeon. I'm right next door to Severus, and we… well, we struck up a bit of a friendship over the year."

"Neighbors or not, Snape doesn't _strike up friendships_ generally. There has to be more to it than that."

Tam shrugged. "I don't know what it would be." She thought for a moment. "Well, I noticed he isn't terribly friendly to most." She snickered, "Ok he isn't really what you'd call _friendly_ to anyone. Anyone but me, that is. To me he has always been pretty nice actually. His version of nice, anyway. Maybe it's because I made an effort, and nobody else really does."

Remus smirked. "You could be onto something there I suppose. I always believed when we were boys that Severus would have liked to have had more friends, he just didn't really know how. I knew how he felt, truth be told. It isn't easy being different. I was lucky I had James and…" he paused and swallowed. "I was lucky I had some good friends."

A sly look came over Remus' face and he gave Tamara a teasing poke in the stomach. "You don't suppose he fancies you do you?"

Her face felt hot again, this time way more than before. "Remus!" She looked down at her boots.

His eyes widened. "Oh Tamara don't tell me you fancy _him_."

"None of your business actually" she muttered.

He shook his head. "Listen, in all seriousness that is not a good idea. For one, he's too old for you…"

"He's the same age as you!" she argued.

He nodded "Yes, and I'm too bloody old for you too, I told you that remember? Besides that… he's always been… into some darker magic, and I don't like the idea of you getting involved with anyone like that. Honestly, he can be a lot to handle. I realize you've probably seen that, but I don't think you've seen just how bad it can get or you wouldn't even be entertaining such an idea."

Tam sighed. "I don't know why I didn't tell you this part before, and I guess I should have. I just… Remus really it's not like you think. He saved me so many times last year! That Lockhart idiot was on me like Albus on a lemon drop and if it hadn't been for Sev I'd have probably had to leave the school just to get away. He also took tons of time out of his own schedule to privately tutor me in potions so I didn't have to make a total ass out of myself in front of his students. We… well, believe it or not we hung out a lot. It was fun. He's actually really funny. His sense of humor is a little bit snarky, but I think it's brilliant. We even went to Quidditch games together, it was nice."

Remus was staring at her like she'd gone completely loopy. "You've gone mad" he teased.

She sighed. "Maybe, but if I did it was your fault!"

Tamara told Remus she wasn't going to go to the great hall for dinner. She felt sorry to miss Dumbledore's traditional greeting but she really couldn't stand the thought of another icy confrontation with Severus, and as a new teacher, Remus would be introduced to the students so he had to be there. He didn't try to talk her out of it, because he hoped maybe he could smooth things over with Snape enough to make things easier for her. In spite of his own misgivings about Snape, he felt sorry that his presence had mucked things up for Tamara with someone she clearly cared for.

As it turned out, he actually got the opportunity to sit next to Severus at dinner, much to the other wizard's immense annoyance.

"Severus I wanted to have a word with you about Tamara."

Snape looked at him like he was a cockroach.

Remus did his best to ignore it. "She… well she was feeling badly about earlier. She didn't realize that you… had any reason to be less than fond of me, so she was taken quite by surprise and she's worried that you're angry with her."

_She's worried?_ Severus didn't speak for a moment, mulling over what Lupin had revealed. "I'm not angry with her" he said quietly. "She's done nothing to warrant it."

"That's good news. If it's all right with you I'll let her know that."

Snape gave him a look that bordered on menacing. "Fine. Lupin, have you explained to her the nature of our… past interaction?"

Remus was confused. "What do you mean?"

"I was referring to the relentless torment I received from you and your gang of thugs while we were at school, of course." He said it at nearly a whisper, not wanting anyone to hear him, but the venom was still in his voice.

"Severus if you remember, I never took part in…"

"No, but you were there, and I don't recall you ever being terribly bothered by it."

Lupin sighed. "I was actually very much bothered by it, I was just too afraid of losing the only friends I myself had to speak up as I should have. I am sorry for that Severus, truly. I didn't mention it to Tamara because I didn't feel it was my place to do so. I can if you would like…"

"Absolutely not" Snape spat. "In fact if you have any humanity left in you at all you will not breathe a word of it to her. Do you understand?"

Remus nodded, ignoring the jab at his condition. "Yes, I do understand. You have my word I won't mention it."

Tamara was reading on her bed when she heard her door open. There was only one person in the castle who knew her password, as she had forgotten to share it with Remus. She smiled.

"Sev?"

He stepped into her bedroom doorway and nodded to her. "I noticed you didn't come to dinner and I thought I'd check in on you before I went to bed."

She knew better than that. The man didn't sleep very much, and it was far too early for him to be going to bed. "That's nice" she said. "I'm glad you did." She put the book down and went out into the sitting room with him.

"I spoke with your canine friend at dinner" he said casually.

Tam's jaw dropped. "Canine friend? That's not very nice."

"The truth often isn't. Incidentally, he mentioned to me that you were under the impression that I was angry with you and I wanted to let you know that I am not."

"Well, that's good to know, but I really don't like hearing Remus referred to as a canine. He's not. He's a man who had a very nasty and unfair thing happen to him when he was just a small child, and he's been a very good friend to me." She didn't want to rekindle any of his ire from earlier, but she wasn't about to let _anyone_speak that way about Remus.

"Hmm, well, regardless, I thought you should know."

He sat down in his usual spot in her chair by the fire and she noticed he had somehow got hold of the book she'd been reading. He was such a sneak sometimes! It was a muggle novel. He looked over the back cover, and she knew he was only pretending to care what it said. The thought made her smirk.

"I got you something the other day" he mentioned.

_Really? That's interesting…_ "Oh? That's sweet of you."

He put the book down and reached into his trouser pocket. Whatever it was he kept it hidden in his hand. "Come here" he said.

She obeyed, and stopped in front of the chair. He stood up and motioned with his finger for her to turn around, so she did. He put a chain around her neck and fastened it in the back. She reached down and picked up the pendant to look at it. It was a very nice Slytherin crest.

Tamara grinned so hard she thought her face might split in two. "That's fantastic!" she said, turning back around to face him. He looked pleased.

"I thought you might like something to wear to the Quidditch matches this year."

They had attended nearly every Slytherin match together last year. She knew he never went unless his own house was playing, and she only ever went to see Slytherin or Gryffindor matches. She liked to watch Gryffindor because the Weasley twins were beaters, and also it had given her a chance to look after Harry Potter for Remus.

"Thank you Sev, I love it! I won't wear it just to matches either, but all the time."

He pushed her hair back from her face before he sat back down. "I'm glad you like it. Tell me, how did your… friend… react to the news of your placement in Slytherin house?"

She snickered. "He looked surprised, but he didn't disown me, so that was nice. It's fine. Remus tends to be pretty protective when he's around, and he always tells me what he thinks, but he isn't pushy."

"What did he think about you spending time with me?" he asked.

She looked him straight in the eyes. "He didn't really like it, I won't lie, but I sang your praises and told him all about how were my constant life preserver last year so I think he's ok now." Feeling emboldened by his gift, she plopped down into his lap in the chair.

_Bet that's blowing his mind_ she thought, struggling not to laugh.

She was right; it actually was blowing his mind very thoroughly. It took nearly a full minute for him to recover his faculties enough to continue their conversation. He was determined to keep his voice calm and steady. He had come to expect her affectionate gestures last year, but still wasn't entirely used to them. Now, after a summer apart, it was a shock all over again.

"Constant life preserver? That's something I haven't been called before."

She finally let herself laugh. "Well, there's a first for everything."

Tamara laid her head against his chest just in time to be rewarded with a deep chuckle. She thought to herself that if this was how she would be spending her evenings this year then she could put up with his temperamental moods. They sat that way for a long time without speaking, and eventually Tamara dozed off to sleep.

Severus didn't notice right away that she'd fallen asleep, and he had actually opened his mouth to tell her that his _leg_ had fallen asleep when he realized she was out like a light. He smirked contentedly. _This_ had certainly been an interesting evening. When he'd come to her quarters to make peace he hadn't expected _this_ warm of a welcome, even if he had come bearing a gift. It had seemed silly to him at the time, buying the necklace, but when he'd passed the little shop in Hogsmeade that sold Hogwarts Quidditch memorabilia he hadn't been able to help himself.

Severus absolutely loved it that Tamara had been declared a Slytherin by the sorting hat. At the time, he'd been surprised and a little amused that the silly young woman who'd crashed into him and couldn't seem to control her own feet could have a cunning bone in her body, let alone belong in Slytherin house. During their exchange about passwords though, when she'd rightly guessed he was sneaking peeks into her thoughts, he realized that there was more to her than he'd first thought.

His smirk turned into a grin as he remembered catching her thought of embarrassment over asking for his password. She'd feared he would think her a _stalker who would go through his underwear drawer while he was in class_. It took considerable willpower for him to avoid laughing out loud. Normally Severus would have been deeply offended by such a thought from anyone regarding his own privacy, but the _way_ she had thought it… he knew it wasn't a jab at him and it had struck him as rather funny.

There had been a lot of funny moments with her last year. He wasn't known for his sense of humor, even though he did actually have one. He'd always felt it wasn't _his_ fault that the things that amused him seemed to go over the heads of everyone else on the planet. Everyone until her, that was. _She _saw the humor in the things he said and realized when he was being droll, where everyone else thought he was just a grump. He got a great thrill from making her laugh. She'd giggled for days about his comment on how Potter would have to be taken to the hospital wing in a matchbox if he were allowed to duel against Weasley and his mangled wand of destruction. Nobody else had even realized it was a joke, or if they did, they certainly didn't acknowledge it and dammit it _was_ funny!

He looked down at the sleeping lady in his lap, no longer caring about the numbness in his leg, and whispered "Where were you when I was at school?" He smiled sadly. "That's right, you were just a baby then way off in America."

Oh how different his life would have been if he'd had someone like her back then. _Anyone_ who actually, _truly_ understood him, let alone a beautiful girl, would have been a great relief. As much as he'd always loved Lily he always knew he was a total enigma to her, and wasn't really free to be himself. He supposed that was why their friendship had really ended. He had to lie and hide his flaws to be close to her, and he just wasn't good enough at it. The short time that he'd believed back then that there might be someone else… Severus shook his head, refusing to revisit that painful time. That had all been a lie, and he didn't like to think about it. He suddenly found himself wondering what in the bloody hell was wrong with Miss Tamara Brookes that made her so willing to accept a misfit like him.

Thinking that he probably should do something before his leg died and needed amputating, Severus shifted carefully in the chair to be more comfortable. Tamara didn't wake, and within a few minutes he actually fell asleep himself. He hadn't expected it. He'd spent most of his life a terrible insomniac, and for him true sleep was only an occasional blessing.


	8. Who Can Decide What They Dream?

Tamara awoke with a jolt. _What a horrid dream _she thought. A moment later she realized that she was not in her bed, but instead snuggled up in the lap of the school's Potions Master. His eyes opened, and he smirked at her.

"Thank Merlin" he said. "I thought you'd never wake up and I'd be pinned here forever." He was kidding, and she knew it. In truth… he looked _happy_ which was another thing she knew to be a very scarce rarity.

She looked at his face and knew at once that her _dream_ had not really been a dream at all. What it was, actually, was a memory that had been projected to her by Severus in his sleep. Being an empath, she knew that on occasion physical closeness in an unguarded state such as sleep, could result in her picking up detailed images from people she was emotionally bonded to. It had happened several times between her and Remus during their time together as well.

Fighting tears now, she leaned forward and threw her arms around his neck. "Why didn't you tell me they were so horrid to you?"

His whole body went stiff as a board and he didn't speak for a few seconds. Finally he asked "What are you talking about?"

"What they did. You were so young, and none of it was your fault. I swear I could kill the bastards…"

He stood up and she nearly fell onto the floor. Without a word, in fact without even looking at her, he headed briskly out the door and left her standing shocked silence.

"Bugger me" she groaned. "This is exhausting."

Lupin was on his way to breakfast when he found himself grabbed roughly by his jacket collar and shoved into the stone wall. Instinctively he grabbed for his wand but wasn't quick enough, as an ebony one was already pointed between his eyes. It was in the hand of a positively seething Severus Snape.

Seeing a handful of students staring at them, Remus gestured at the empty classroom up the hall, and Snape lowered his wand as the two men entered it for the sake of privacy.

"Now what" Remus asked wearily.

Snape glared so fiercely at him that Lupin thought if it were possible to conjure the killing curse through the eyeballs he would have been dead already.

"You gave me your word" Snape hissed.

Remus shook his head, trying to sort out just what it was he had given his word on. "I don't know what…" then he remembered. "Ah, yes that. I did give my word Severus and I have kept it, so I don't know what has put such a bee in your bonnet."

It hadn't seemed possible, but Snape's black eyes narrowed even further. "You're a liar. She knows."

_Oh dear._ "Listen, I don't know how she would have found out anything, but she didn't find it out from me. I haven't even spoken to her since our conversation last night. I was hoping to meet with her at breakfast and tell her that all was well between the two of you as I said I would, and that is all. I told you, it is not my place to reveal such a personal thing and I won't."

There was a flicker of hesitation on Severus' face but he quickly replaced it with more seething rage. "I don't believe you for a minute. I imagine you thought it would be most amusing to humiliate me before her. I'm sure when you and your dear old friend Black are reunited again you'll have a great laugh over it won't you?"

"Listen to me Severus, it wasn't me!"

"Nobody else knows" Snape accused.

Something occurred to Remus then that he hadn't thought of. "All right, calm down a moment and answer a question for me."

Severus stared at him coldly.

"Did you fall asleep next to her?" Remus saw the apprehension in the other wizard's face and knew he was onto something. He nodded. "Yes, that's it. Listen, she is an empath. She hasn't really had enough training to put it to much use, but she picks up on things. She catches moods, and emotions, and she is very good at judging character and intentions. You'll find she's good at understanding the meaning behind what people say. That's why she gets on with almost anyone she meets, as long as they're decent…"

"Get to the point" Snape growled.

"One thing that can happen" Lupin hesitated for a moment, looking a bit annoyed at the thought he was having "is that when she is… close to someone emotionally, if they let their guard down enough, such as when asleep, she can get full visions of their memories. If she's sleeping too it comes as a dream. That happened a few times between her and I when we were living together."

_She lived with him? _Severus thought, feeling a jealous pang. He stuffed his wand back beneath his robes and his glare softened, but didn't leave. "Prove it" he dared.

Lupin sighed. "I can't. You'll simply have to ask her won't you?"

"Oh I'm sure you'll have told her to cover up for you…"

"Why?" Remus half shouted. "If I were spilling your secrets to humiliate you why would I bother to cover it up? Just ask her. Honestly, I don't know why you're so worried about it. If the two of you are such great mates then how is it you don't know her well enough to know that it isn't going to change how she sees you at all, but rather it's going to very much effect her opinion of _me?"_

As if on cue, Tamara flew through the door. "Remus Lupin we have to talk…" she started, before she even noticed Severus. When she saw him she stopped.

"See?" Lupin said to Snape. "I'm in quite a bit of trouble now I'm sure, so if you could excuse us a moment I'd like to get it over with."

Still not ready to look Tamara in the eye, Severus nodded and walked out.

They didn't speak for nearly a full minute, but when they did they both started at once. Remus put a finger to her lips, and began again "Let me explain."

She shook her head. "Why in the hell didn't you tell me that's why he hated you so much?"

"Because Tamara he asked me not to. I didn't feel it was my place to go and share something like that against his will. I think he thought it would make you lose respect for him, which proves he hasn't figured out so much about you after all."

Tam looked like she wanted to cry and Remus felt sorry for her. He'd never thought for a minute that his coming to join her here would be so complicated.

"Why did you all do that to him? If I hadn't seen it I would never believe it of you Remus, you're far too kind for that sort of behavior."

He nodded "The truth is I did try to avoid participating in it as much as possible. Unfortunately, I was too much of a bloody coward to put a stop to it. I tried once… and was not successful. Honestly I was so afraid that I'd lose my friends and become more of an outcast myself that I just couldn't bring myself to do the right thing. It was wrong I know."

She was so upset she was physically shaking. "What the hell was wrong with them? Such horrible boys…"

"No no no, please understand, that is not the best way for you to get a picture of who they were." He didn't want her to base her idea of his friends on the stupidity of youth. "The truth is they weren't bad people at all. They just made some bad decisions. I have always regretted the treatment that Severus got, along with some other Slytherins of our year as well, but… I guess James saw it as his duty to fight what he believed to be evil. He didn't like Slytherins because of the tendency to dark magic and the prejudice they showed against muggle borns. He was raised to feel that way. Sirius… well he came from a pureblood family who were so obsessed with their ideals they actually disowned him in the end. There were reasons, if misguided, for their actions. At the time they saw themselves as heroes I suppose."

"That's asinine" she said, still annoyed. "No excuse whatsoever. I understand where you were coming from, I've seen into your head too remember and my heart has always broken for you, you know that, so I don't blame you. Those friends of yours though…"

"Are gone" he finished for her, though he knew that wasn't what she was going to say. "James grew into a really excellent man, and you should know, he supported me when I couldn't support myself. I hate to see him judged by some teenaged foolishness."

"Right, well, he has a lovely son, I'll give him that. Harry's a dear boy, and braver than anyone his age has a right to be. He almost single-handedly saved the school from a Basilisk last year. What was his mother like? Maybe he got it from her."

Remus smiled. "Lily was lovely. You know she was a friend of a friend of yours once? They had a falling out."

She suddenly realized she knew what he was talking about, having seen it in her dream. "He called her a… a name" she said, not wanting to repeat the word he'd used. "He didn't mean it and it broke his heart but she wouldn't forgive him." She realized she really shouldn't be talking about this, as it wasn't meant to have been shared with her in the first place. "I saw it in my dream. I need to go talk to him."

"No you don't!" He grabbed her hand. "Better to let this one blow over if you can. He's not going to want to hear about it again if I know him. Besides, you need to come with me and get some breakfast since you skipped dinner last night. Honestly Tamara, you should know he gave as well as he got. He was just as quick to curse James and Sirius when he had the chance, and he held his own against them most of the time. It wasn't as one sided as you might think."

"Of course" she said, smirking. "I'm sure even then he could take care of himself just fine. I wouldn't expect any different. I just don't appreciate the things they said, and the… well it's not fair is it, three on one, and to do that… in front of people… It just pisses me off. No wonder he doesn't trust anyone."

They went back out into the hallway and started towards the great hall. Suddenly Remus remembered something, and had to ask. "So how exactly was it that you two happened to be sleeping in close enough proximity to one another for you to have picked up his memory?"

She smacked his arm. "Not what you're thinking, thank you very much."

"No, thank _you_ very much because I was nervous for a minute. Look, I know it's none of my business, and I know you'll do what you want to… but I'll say again that _that_ is not a good idea."

As Remus had predicted, Severus did not want to discuss what had happened when Tam had tried to apologize to him in his office in between classes.

"It would appear" he quietly "That you have nothing to apologize for, and I would appreciate it if we didn't mention it again."

"Of course. I want you to know that I _won't_ mention it again. Not to you, and _never_ to anyone else. Never. Just so you know."

She had her back to him and was almost at the door when she heard him say "Thank you."

It proved as usual to be a most eventful year. Nobody could feel at ease with the constant presence of the dementors and sightings of Sirius Black. Remus enjoyed teaching, and Tamara thought he was really very good at it. She'd taken the opportunity to sit in on some of his classes, and she couldn't help but think how she would have liked to have a teacher like him. He also took time aside to teach Harry Potter how to protect himself from the dreadful dementors who seemed to take a particular interest in him.

Remus was very popular with the students, in spite of the fact that his condition caused him to miss a few classes every month. Dumbledore had given Severus the task of filling in for him, which caused some more tension between them. Remus complained to Tamara that Snape had devoted a full class to identifying werewolves and even assigned them an essay on the subject. Though she sympathized, she told him he had to admit it was a good idea for safety, and told him he shouldn't take it personally. She did tell Severus to ease off though, because it wouldn't do to have panicking parents either.

"I know you have total limitless trust in your dear _friend_ but personally I find it highly suspect that he turned up here just after his old school mate escaped from Azkaban. It seems a bit too convenient if you ask me."

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't ask you actually."

He gave her an indignant snort. "Perhaps you should, since you seem to have placed your lovely head firmly into the sand on this matter. I assure you, I _will_ be watching and when they make their move I _will_ be there to make sure Black and anyone who's helping him get exactly what is coming to them."

"I know you will, and that's fine, but Remus has nothing to do with it. He's here because of Black yes, but only to protect Harry from him. I'm sure of that."

Severus knew he was bordering on offending her, so he decided to change his approach. "Tamara I'm not trying to be insulting. There are very few people whose opinions I bother taking into consideration and believe me when I say yours is one of them. I just think that your heart is overruling your head in this case. From that picture on your desk I am quite aware that you and Lupin weren't living together as _friends_."

Tamara cringed. "No, we weren't. Well…" when she thought about it she actually realized that in many ways they had been more like friends, even then. Remus had such a great aversion to the idea that his condition might burden anyone that he didn't make it easy to be any more. "We were and we weren't." Why was she discussing this with him?

"Spare me the details" he said, rolling his eyes. "My point is simply that your judgment on him might be clouded." He looked thoughtful. "Then again… if you still had certain feelings it could be even more so."

_Severus talking about feelings? This is new, and a little creepy. _"No, not like that. Not anymore" she insisted. _It's you I feel that way about now, but I'll never tell you_ she thought sadly.

"I love Remus, but it's not like that. My judgment isn't _clouded_ by anything either. Just let it go Sev. I understand you don't trust him, but leave me out of it ok?"

He shrugged. "Just keep your eyes open please, and don't forget about that clever little charm of yours that can summon… help… should you need it."

"Yes, I know how to call for _you _if I need you" she grinned. "I won't forget, so don't worry."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the necklace he had given her on the first night of school. "Also, this..."

Her jaw dropped. "You had it! I thought I'd lost it and I was devastated! When did you take it?"

Severus smirked at her. "Two days ago, when you fell asleep reading. I simply borrowed it so I could add a few protective charms, just in case. It is now able to deflect most minor curses, and it will also summon me if you squeeze it. I thought that wise, in case you should be caught without access to your wand."

She turned around and he re-fastened it around her neck. "Thank you Sev. You drive me crazy hating Remus but I do appreciate it that you look out for me."


	9. What Did I Miss?

Between reports of Sirius Black cavorting nearby and the whole drama of the Malfoys vs. Hagrid and poor Buckbeak the hippogriff, it seemed Hogwarts would never have a dull moment. Tam's life stayed interesting as well, as she continued to struggle to keep Severus from lashing out at Remus. The fact that a student had let the story slip about the first third year DADA class, in which Lupin had encouraged Neville Longbottom to _Ridikulus_ a Snape-shaped boggart into his grandmother's clothing did not do anything to ease the tension.

Thankfully, Severus was willing to continue brewing the wolfsbane potion that Remus needed to keep his faculties during his monthly transformations. Tam liked the fact that, in spite of their differences, Severus was able to help her friend with his greatest trouble. It made her feel a bit better about everything else that was going on.

As the end of the school year approached, Tamara made plans to take a weekend to visit her younger brother in the U.S. She could apparate there and back, so a quick trip would be no problem, and she hadn't wanted to leave over Christmas, so she hadn't been home to see anyone. She begged Remus to stay well out of Severus' way while she was gone. He said he tried to stay out of Snape's way all the time in general, it just didn't always work.

Severus told her that he was actually glad she was leaving. Since Sirius Black had been seen _inside_ the castle, Snape was more convinced than ever that it was Remus who was helping him. He told her he hoped it meant that the convict would be making himself known soon, and that he would be able to be the one to catch him. Tamara couldn't help but shudder at the thought.

"Just be careful, please" she begged. "If he's the devil they make him out to be…"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you implying that I can't handle Sirius Black?"

Tam laughed. "Not at all, I'm sure you can, I just… well I don't like to think about it but what if something went wrong? The man is dangerous, and you never know what he could have up his sleeve. I would never forgive myself if I left here and you weren't still around when I got back. I promise you I'll be worrying about that for the entire weekend, by the way."

He chuckled. "You needn't worry yourself, I assure you. I look forward to meeting up with Black again, and personally delivering him to the dementors."

"Well, good luck to you, anyway. I hope you get your wish and all goes well with it. Maybe by the time I get back it'll all be over just in time for the end of the year. Regardless… please don't be nasty to Remus while I'm gone."

As it turned out, the whole mess _was_ over with by the time she got back Sunday night. A battered and bloody Remus gave her the whole story from the privacy of his bedroom.

Harry Potter and his two best friends had ended up confronting Sirius Black in the Shrieking Shack, and Remus had stepped in just as Harry was contemplating doing him in. Remus apologized to Tam for not having told her, but he had actually met up with Sirius and helped him when he realized that _Sirius was actually innocent!_ It was Peter Pettigrew who had committed the crimes in question, sold out the Potters, and then faked his own death, framing Sirius for the murders. Then it seemed Pettigrew had disguised himself as a rat and gone off to live with the unsuspecting Weasley family.

Remus cringed as he told her that Severus had come crashing in on them just as they were about to explain the truth to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Wanting to hear the truth, Harry had blasted Snape with expelliarmus and he'd been knocked unconscious when he was thrown into a bedpost. As he expected, Tamara was horrified. In the end though, it was for the best, because Pettigrew was revealed and Harry learned what had really happened regarding his parents' broken fidelius charm.

Just when they had left the shack to take Pettigrew to the castle for arrest, Remus, having forgotten his potion, transformed into a werewolf and Pettigrew escaped in the confusion. He said he didn't really know all of the details after that, being that he had not exactly been himself at that point, but Harry had filled in some of the gaps for him, and to make a long story short Harry and Hermione had managed to save the day. They made sure that Sirius got away so that he wouldn't go to the dementors in spite of his innocence.

Severus, after facing Remus in werewolf form, had apparently decided he wasn't going to keep Lupin's secret anymore and revealed his condition to others at the school. Remus had decided he would resign before the concerned parents started demanding that he be sacked.

Tamara sighed sadly. "What a mess" she said. "I'm glad that you got to find out the truth about your friend and that he was saved from the dementors. I'm sorry that you'll be leaving. I'm going to miss you. In spite of all the craziness, it was really nice to have you here."

He nodded. "Yes, it was nice to be here. I'll miss you too, but as always… I'm only an owl away." Remus laughed. "In spite of what a vindictive bastard he can be, I know you'll be looked after by Snape, so I won't worry about you."

She laughed with him. "Well you're right about that, you don't have to worry. Sev's very thorough. He's enchanted my necklace to repel curses and I can use it to summon him if I get into any trouble."

Remus shook his head. "I suppose he was way ahead of me and got that taken care of ages ago yes?"

She nodded. "A while back. I didn't tell you because I thought I was mentioning his name to you enough as it was."

When she'd finished with Remus Tamara made her way to Sev's chambers. It was very late, but she knew he'd still be awake and probably brooding over the events of the weekend. She steeled herself for the worst as she arrived at his door.

"Asphodel" she spoke the password, and the door opened.

"About bloody time" he growled from his wingback by the fire. "I assume you thought it most urgent to check in on the beast who nearly murdered me before deigning to come down here."

She sighed. "It wasn't like that Sweet, his quarters are simply closer to the front door. He told me what happened."

_Sweet? _How was he supposed to stay properly irritated with her if she was going to call him things like that?

"Excuses" he grumbled. "Did he happen to mention that he nearly managed to kill three students and myself?"

Tamara smirked. "He did. He's quite sorry about that actually. He knows it was you who spilled the beans about him."

He studied her face for signs of anger. "Of course it was me. Would it have been better to ignore the fact that one missed potion nearly turned some students into dog chow?"

She flinched, and in spite of himself, he felt a bit sorry for her.

"No, I think you did what you had to. I didn't say that to him, and I don't have to like it… but you were in the right."

He was surprised by that, and he had to admit, rather impressed. He wasn't sure how to respond so he said nothing.

"Are you all right by the way? I heard you were knocked out for a bit." She had come around behind him and was running her fingers along the back of his head through his hair, looking for a goose-egg.

He moved his head and gave an irritated look. "Did you think I'd be done in by a bump on the head?"

She smiled. "No, but I thought it would be a good excuse to fuss over you for a few days. You can pretend you don't like it."

"Hmm." He put his head back where she could continue her examination of his scalp and smirked "In that case… did I mention that I was nearly mauled by your pet werewolf?"

Tam slid her fingers back into his hair, and this time he leaned into her hand. "Yes, you did actually. Like I said, he didn't mean to. Harry told him you put yourself between him and them."

"Does that surprise you?" he asked.

"No. It rather shocked Harry, but it's exactly what I would expect. _I _know you, after all." She thought about what _could _have happened and shuddered. "I almost had a bloody heart attack hearing about it. If anything happened to you I think I'd just pitch myself off of the Astronomy Tower and be done with it all." She was surprised and a little embarrassed by her own admission, as it had blurted out of her as it popped into her head.

He chuckled at that, and apparently liking her fingers in his hair he closed his eyes and made a noise that made her think of a purring tiger.

"Aww, there's a good kitty" she teased, and then laughed at her own joke.

"Explains my aversion to dogs, I suppose" he said.

"Quit calling him a dog" Tam scolded. "My patronus is a wolf you know." She decided now was as good a time as any to ask him the question that had occurred to her while she was away. "Will you miss me this summer?"

He opened his eyes again and looked into the fire for a few seconds before he answered "Yes, just like I did last summer."

She leaned down and put her chin on his shoulder. "Really?"

He rolled his eyes. "How many times do I need to remind you that if I say something you can safely assume that I mean it?"

Tamara snickered and leaned her cheek against his. "I could come and see you."

That was an intriguing thought. He'd been alone at his house on Spinner's End every summer for so long that the idea of having anyone else there seemed almost disturbing… but it was her, and it had taken him quite a while to get used to being without her last year. Having her face pressed up against his with her fingers making that lovely tingling feeling on his scalp was definitely affecting his judgment, he was sure, but try as he might, he really couldn't think of any reason why it would be a bad idea to say yes. _Why_ _does she always smell of pears and incense when I'm trying to think? It's so damned distracting. _He silently cursed himself for being so swayed by something as simple as shampoo and perfume.

"I suppose you could do that if you wanted to" he said finally. "Don't expect a palace however because you will be sorely disappointed."

She laughed softly "We spend most of the year in a castle; it would be quite dull to end up in another one for the summer. Besides, you're far too sensible for that sort of thing."

"I inherited it from my parents and I live on a teacher's salary. That sums it up quite well I'm afraid" he admitted, smirking.

"No shame there" she giggled. "Sev will my necklace still work if we're away from Hogwarts? If some git hits on me in a bar and I want the fun of seeing you put the unholy terror into him, will the necklace still work to call to you?"

He nodded, and his night time stubble tickled her cheek. "Yes. It will work anywhere no matter where either of us are or how far apart we are."

"And would you come immediately to my side?"

Severus chuckled. "Absolutely. Although, depending on how far away you managed to be, it might take a bit longer for me to get to you than it would if I were just a floor away here at Hogwarts."

"I live in London."

"Then you needn't worry, that wouldn't take long at all."

Tamara hated goodbyes. She always had. The worst was saying goodbye to Remus. She didn't know when she would see him again, and life could be so perilous for him with his condition that she knew she'd have the worry in the back of her mind until she _did_ see him again. She begged him to come and visit her at their flat sometime over the summer and he said he would see what he could do.

With Severus this goodbye was almost exciting. He had told her she could come and see him, and that was definitely something to look forward to. When she'd asked where he lived he told her not to worry about that because he would come to get her. He said when she was ready all she had to do was call, and of course she knew what he meant. The temptation would be great to call to him as soon as she'd got through her front door, but she had decided she would hold off until the end of July so that their visit would be roughly mid-summer.

"When I come to see you I'll make you dinner. Bachelors like that sort of thing don't they?" she teased him.

He gave her a snide look. "Have you forgotten that I'm a potions master? If I can't cook I'm in the wrong profession."

"Right, well you can make me dinner then. That'll be fun. I'll bet you've got about eighty million books in your house haven't you?" she asked.

She could tell by his little smile that she had guessed correctly.


	10. Lovesick Twit

_Go have a listen to "One and Only" by Adele off of her "21" album. It fits this story. You can find it on if you'd like, it's a really nice song about a blossoming relationship._

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><p>The third week of July had begun, and Tamara was sure that it had been the longest three weeks any July had ever seen in her lifetime. She'd sent and received back three owls with Remus, keeping their usual schedule of one a week. He said he was with Sirius, and he told her that when the opportunity arose he wanted her to come and meet his old friend. Tamara said she would absolutely be honored to do so. She felt so sorry for Sirius Black. To spend twelve years in the hell that was Azkaban prison, wrongfully accused of murdering ones best friends… she couldn't imagine.<p>

As the time had drawn nearer to when she had planned to visit Sev her anxiousness grew. She missed his wit, and his lovely voice. She missed having that smug feeling that came along with knowing that she was under his protection. Yet another Slytherin quality in her she supposed. She even missed the way he felt totally justified in bossing her around simply because he thought he was always right. Of course, he usually _was_ always right, so it worked out.

It was a Friday evening, and she was watching the sun set from her little bedroom balcony when she finally decided to give in. As the last rays slipped beneath the horizon she stepped back inside and drew her wand.

"Accio suitcase" she said. The leather bag dropped onto her bed and she went to the closet to decide what to pack. When she was finished she took a few deep breaths and stepped back out onto the balcony before she wrapped her hand around her Slytherin crest pendant and squeezed. Using a shrinking spell, she reduced her suitcase enough that she could slip it into her pocket.

About twenty minutes later she heard footsteps on the sidewalk below and she looked down to see a tall figure in black walking briskly up her street. When he passed under the balcony and looked up at her she nearly gasped out loud. He was wearing muggle clothes! She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised, as many wizards did try to fit in when they were in muggle society. She also knew his father had been a muggle. It just hadn't ever occurred to her that Severus Snape would ever willingly wear anything other than his usual style.

"Hello Madam" he called up to her.

She grinned. "Good evening sir. Are you my transportation tonight?"

He nodded under the street light. "Would you have preferred a thestral?"

Tam laughed.

"No, I think travel by handsome wizard sounds like the very best way to go. I travel light, you're in luck" she said.

"I haven't been called _that _before" he said, sounding amused.

"What a wizard?" she teased.

"No, handsome" he corrected.

"Well I think you are. Now get up here so I can see what that is you're wearing." She snickered as she heard his indignant grumbling from the street.

As it turned out, he was wearing a black blazer (unbuttoned, to her shock) over a black silk button down (untucked, even more to her shock) shirt with his usual black trousers and boots. Tam couldn't fight the idiotic grin that had taken over her face and she had a feeling it would be stuck there for as long as he was dressed like that. _I love his legs_ she thought. _I never get to see them under his long coats and robes which is such a shame because apparently he wears his trousers tight. Oh bloody hell the top buttons of that shirt aren't done up and I can see his chest a bit and I think I'm going to fall over right here in my living room and just melt into a stupid puddle of lovesick twit pudding. Please don't let him be peeking into my mind right now for the love of all that is holy…_

They stood and stared at each other for a while. She realized that it was probably just as strange for him seeing her in muggle clothes. She was wearing a short jean skirt and a fuchsia tank top, a far cry from her usual black velour dresses and suede skirts. Also, she had on black strappy sandals rather than her knee high laced high heeled boots. She knew she didn't look like much of a witch today.

She started to giggle and he raised an eyebrow at her, which just made it worse. She was in a total fit within a few seconds and couldn't seem to stop. She wished she had some hard liquor on hand.

He felt a bit guilty about using legilimency on her again after all this time, especially when then end of the thought he'd caught was devoted to her hoping that he wasn't. They'd never discussed his gift for it, or the fact that she had almost immediately figured out he could do it. He hadn't actually _intended_ to do it this time… it was like a nervous reflex for him in some situations, and when he'd seen the stunned expression on her as he'd stepped through her door he had done it automatically.

_A stupid puddle of lovesick twit pudding?_ He wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't just pulled it directly from her head. Now the poor thing was giggling hysterically with tears streaming down her face and he began to wonder if she'd gone mad.

He'd always suspected that (and it had thoroughly perplexed him) she might have a crush on him as he did on her. There was no other way to explain her desire to be near him, confide in him, and… actually _touch_ him that he could possibly think of. He had assumed that if it were in fact the case then it would be because of that Slytherin personality of hers enjoying the power he could have over others through sheer intimidation. That, as a Slytherin himself, he could understand, and it was a gift he'd honed over the years that he was quite proud of. Tamara's wildly racing thoughts about his legs in tight trousers and seeing a bit of his chest… that had hit him like a bludger to the face. At least he knew she wasn't laughing at him because she thought he looked foolish. A far cry from that, in fact. Maybe Dumbledore's teasing and hinting over the last two years had something to it after all.

"Are you nearly done?" he asked quietly, which just set her off anew. He felt rather like laughing himself because it was just too bloody silly. "Do you need medical attention?" he snickered.

She wiped the tears off her cheeks and grinned sheepishly at him, finally seeming able to calm down. "No I think I need alcohol" she said.

He shrugged. "I can help you with that, come on."

They disapparated to an alley behind a small pub that she didn't recognize. She stayed in his arms for a few seconds after it was over, enjoying the feel of him after missing him so much. He didn't seem to mind a bit, keeping his arms around her until she moved away.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"It's a muggle pub near my house" he said. "I like it because it's usually quiet and nobody goes there but a few old men. Also they have a decent shepherd's pie and their chips are quite nice."

Tam laughed. "Just when I think I've got you figured out you surprise me again" she said.

Severus grinned wolfishly at her "I pride myself on being an enigma" he teased. "Didn't you say something about alcohol?"

They stepped out of the alley and went in the front door. As Severus had said, there was nobody there but for two old men at the bar, and a middle aged woman sweeping the floor.

"Hullo Mr. Snape" the woman said, and then noticing Tamara she stopped sweeping. "Oh, you've brought a friend." She was obviously intrigued, but was trying to sound casual.

"Yes. This is Tamara; she is a colleague of mine. Tamara this is Mrs. Rossberry, she owns this place."

Tam knew she probably shouldn't have been so surprised by the fact that people in his own neighborhood would know him, it just felt so strange. Sev wasn't exactly known for being social even with other wizards, so seeing him speaking to a muggle in a little bar… it felt very weird.

"Pleased to meet you Mrs. Rossberry" she said, holding out her hand.

The woman took Tam's hand in both of hers and held it for a moment, and giving her an excited smile she said "Oh it is lovely to meet you Miss. Mr. Snape's been coming here for years but I've never seen him with anyone else, never mind such a pretty girl as yourself!"

Sev looked extremely uncomfortable so Tam decided it was best to derail this particular conversation train before it ran him over any further.

"Oh? Well we're good friends" she said, turning to Severus she said "Order me a rum and coke would you, I'm going to the loo."

He nodded, grateful that Tam hadn't given Mrs. Rossberry the opportunity to lament his sad and pathetic existence of loneliness any further.

Tam heard the woman loudly whisper to him as she walked towards the bathroom "Oh she is very lovely! Will she be staying with you?"

"For a while" he said tightly.

When she returned from the bathroom he was sitting at a table as far away from the bar as he could possibly get, and her drink was on the table. She noticed he was working on a rather large scotch and she snickered. If Mrs. Rossberry had interrogated him he probably needed it.

"She's a nice lady" she commented.

He nodded. "Yes, she's very kind." He sighed. "She tried to set me up with her sister last year. Her older sister."

Tam laughed, she couldn't help it. "Oh I'm sure that went over well."

He gave her a dirty look, and she laughed some more.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed" she teased him.

Four rum and cokes for Tamara, and three large scotches later for Severus, he helped her out of her chair so they could head towards his house. She hadn't intended to get drunk, but seeing all that scotch flowing into Sev with seemingly no effect, she had felt the need to keep up. It had been a mistake, as now she found it very difficult to stand, let alone walk. She'd never been much of a drinker, and her friends had always called her a lightweight when it came to alcohol.

With an amused smile, Severus pulled her out of her chair and steadied her when she almost fell on the table.

"Keep it together girl" he said, smirking. "It's six blocks and I don't intend to carry you."

As it turned out, he did end up carrying her. After three blocks of leaning on him she had actually fallen asleep standing up with her head against his shoulder and nearly hit the sidewalk. Severus caught her and smiling in spite of the fact that they had three blocks left to go, he gathered her up in his arms and kept walking. He knew he could have ducked into another alley and just apparated them, but it was a nice night, and holding onto her felt good.

She woke up once along the way and finding her lips so close to his neck in her current state she just couldn't help herself, she started to kiss it, and he nearly dropped her in his shock.

_I really hope she remembers that in the morning _he thought, highly amused. "Dearest I don't know who you think is carrying you but you're going to be very embarrassed tomorrow if you keep that up" he warned.

"Mmm…" she slid the hand that was on his shoulder up his neck and into his hair, and giggling, placed a firm love bite just under his earlobe.

He tried to suppress it, but a giddy giggle escaped him as well. "Tamara… knock it off."

He had intended to give her his bedroom and stay in the second one himself, but when he'd laid her down on the bed she refused to let go of him, so he put out the oil lamp with his wand, kicked off his boots, and allowed himself to settle into her arms.

_I could really get used to this _he thought. _It's a shame she has to be piss drunk._

Naturally, having him snuggled up to her in bed with her inhibitions now nearly nonexistent, she decided it was the perfect opportunity to lavish him with sloppy drunken kisses. He didn't complain, but when she started to try to undress him he slipped her a bit of the dreamless sleep potion he kept in his nightstand and she was out cold within seconds. He considered himself far too much a gentleman to ever take advantage of an intoxicated female, no matter how tempting that female may be.

Tam woke in the morning to a massive hangover. She looked around blearily and realized that she must be in Sev's bedroom. There were several books around the room, and no furniture except the bed, a nightstand, and an old wardrobe in the corner. She buried her face in the pillow and inhaled. It smelled like him and she smiled. Suddenly remembering her antics on the way home she started to laugh. _I wonder what he's thinking about that!_

Carefully, to avoid upsetting her already spinning head, she crawled out of the bed and headed into the hallway. There were a few closed doors and three that were open. The first was a bathroom. She found Severus in the second room off of the kitchen, a study of sorts, with a fireplace and shelves full of books against all the walls. There were some pictures and knickknacks, but she recognized nothing.

"Most of it was my mother's" he said from the shabby old wingback chair he was sitting in. He didn't bother to look up from what he was reading. "Only the books are mine." She noticed he was dressed in his usual attire again rather than in the muggle clothes he'd had on the night before.

"Did you change anything, or is this just as it was when you were growing up?" she asked, fascinated by being in the place he had lived in as a child.

"It's much cleaner" he said stiffly. "My parents were too busy despising each other to bother themselves with much else."

"Do you have any pictures of when you were little?" she asked, deciding not to mention his parents if she could help it.

He gave her a weary look, but seeing her genuine interest he found himself touched by her thoughtfulness yet again. "Somewhere. I'll see what I can find" he said.

She noticed a mark on his neck, under his ear and she laughed. "Is that a hickey?" she asked.

A sly smile crossed his face. "Yes, it is. Thank you" he said sarcastically.

"You're very welcome! I could give you one for the other side as well if you'd like a matching set."

He blushed, which delighted her, and very pointedly looking back down into his book he said "Don't tempt me."

"Thanks for helping me home last night, I don't usually drink very much and I was trying to keep up with you."

That made him snicker. "That explains a lot. I've told you before I know how to hold my liquor."

"Apparently. Anyway, aside from the hangover it really was a lot of fun. Thanks for sharing your bed by the way."

His eyes still planted firmly on the pages, he said "I'd intended to sleep in the other room but you wouldn't let go."

Tam laughed again. "Of course not. I've only got a few days to spend with you I'm not wasting a moment."

Reaching over to the little end table next to his chair he retrieved a small vial and held it out to her, still not bothering to look up from his book. "For the hangover."

She took it from his hand and drank it immediately. "It's handy having ones very own Potions Master" she teased.

He took her to the playground he used to frequent as a child, though it bore little resemblance to what it had been back then. The swings he had watched young Lily Evans play on when they were small had been replaced by a newer set. Naturally Tamara had plopped into one and cheekily asked him for a push.

_Slytherin seductress_ he thought, amused, giving in and pushing her on the swing. It was nice having her here, even though she took every opportunity she could to make him squirm.

"What were you like as a little boy?" she asked.

He looked very uncomfortable. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm nosey" she laughed. "Well, really just very curious about you."

He thought for a few seconds. "I was smaller" he said finally, and seeing her irritated expression he added "Otherwise not much has changed."

Tamara rolled her eyes. "You're impossible."

Severus sighed. "If you're only just discovering that then I don't know where you've been for the last two school-years."

She nodded. "You're right, it's not really news. I'd really like to know more about you though. I know you're a private person but I gave you a hickey and that should count for something towards making you want to confide in me. At least that's my theory."

"So you gave me a hickey to learn my secrets?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

Tam laughed. "No, I gave you a hickey because…" she blushed. "I was drunk and your neck was… there… and you smell really good… and I'm rambling now so I don't want to talk about it anymore."

He laughed, enjoying finally getting a chance to make _her _flustered again after so much of her doing it to him.

"Have you been to see Lupin yet this summer?" he asked, and though he was trying to sound casual, she heard a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Nope, not yet. He's invited me to come and meet Sirius though, so I expect I'll be summoned eventually."

"Oh it's _Sirius_ now is it? You're on a first name basis with the fugitive now, as well as the werewolf?" he said, sounding probably more bitter than he'd meant to.

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "I haven't actually even met him yet. That's just what Remus calls him. You also have to remember I'm an American. All the calling people by their last names you Brits do isn't what comes naturally to me."

"It seems to me manners in general don't tend to come naturally to most of you Americans" he teased.

She pushed her feet out behind her to try to kick him. "Excuse me?"

He snickered, stepping out of her kicking range. "Sorry to offend my dear but aren't you the witch who was sucking on my neck last night after a few measly drinks? You can't exactly claim to be fit for tea with the Queen."

Tamara laughed harder than he had expected her to, but he was glad she wasn't angry. To him it was just more proof that she really did understand his sense of humor.

"Oh you'd be surprised!" she insisted. "I can be quite charming when I want to be. I did well at that fancy Christmas party before I got slipped a Mickey."

Severus' chuckle was positively evil, and the sound made her smile. "Why is it that every time you get under the influence of anything I seem to become a lot more _interesting_ to you?"

"No comment" she giggled.

"What happens if you have a drink with Black and Lupin, will it be one of them?" She could tell that he was trying to sound like he was still teasing, but she could feel his unease. This was apparently something he had been worrying about.

She put her feet down in the grass to stop the swing and hopped up. He was watching her, and she could tell he was anxious.

Tamara looked into his dark eyes for a few seconds, trying to sort out just what she wanted to say. "I'm a flirt" she admitted finally. "I know. It's one of my greatest faults. I'm not a tart though. It doesn't matter what I drink, if I didn't want to smooch on someone anyway, I wouldn't be doing it. I don't do that sort of thing. Ever. It's not easy for me to say, in fact it's awkward as hell, but you are… as I've said before, a special case."

"How so?" he asked quietly, maintaining eye contact. She knew that meant he was going to check the truth of her answer.

She grinned. "I fancy the pants right off you Severus Snape. That's the whole truth and nothing but the truth I'm afraid. I'd have thought you'd have figured it out by now."

He didn't bother to check into her thoughts after all, because much to his own surprise, he actually believed her. With the way she said it there was no doubting that she was being honest.

The next thought that came into his head was the next question he asked her "Why?"

She laughed. "Why not? You're brilliant."

Severus bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud at what he figured to be a very inappropriate moment. He felt giddy, and that was not a sensation he was used to. There were very few people in the world who even _liked_ him, let alone a sweet lovely witch who… more than liked him. It was a bit overwhelming, and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it.


	11. Quadruple Wizard Tournament?

_I'm sure you've noticed that my version of Severus can be a bit more playful than what is normal for canon Snape, or even film Snape. I guess I just think that if he had a good reason to be silly he would do it more often! _

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><p>Tamara ended up staying two whole weeks longer than she had planned, but it felt nice to be around him and every time she mentioned going home he would remind her that she didn't have to, and would get a bit sulky.<p>

She sent an owl to Remus to let him know where she had gone off to in case he tried to contact her and in his response he told her that he'd like to come and visit her. She knew Severus was going to be annoyed, but there was no way she would turn down a chance to spend some time with Remus when the opportunities came so rarely these days.

After trying her best to smooth things over with her surly colleague, she had him apparate her home. He pouted a bit, but she promised him she'd see him as soon as school started, and reminded him that if he felt like popping by before then he was more than welcome anytime.

Remus arrived a few days after the full moon, and she could tell he'd had a rough time of it due to the bruises and a large cut on his bottom lip. She decided not to mention it to him, and simply hugged him hello as if he looked perfectly normal.

"Hello to you too" he said cheerfully. "It's nice to see you again. How was your visit with our other friend?" His smile was slightly sly.

Tamara rolled her eyes. "It was fine. I ended up staying longer than I'd expected to. We had fun."

Remus shook his head, looking amused. "I've never heard anyone mention Severus and fun in the same sentence." He looked upwards for a second and then added "Well, except for Sirius and James I suppose, but that was referring to something different."

She glared at him. "Oh I'm sure and I don't want to hear it. I'm looking forward to meeting Sirius, don't ruin it."

Mussing her hair with a hand he chuckled "I won't. Sirius is looking forward to meeting you as well. He was locked up for so long and now he has to hide. It's had him quite frustrated. He's lonely I think. He was never one to hide away from the world, in fact quite the opposite."

"When do I get the honor?"

Remus sighed. "Sadly, not for a while yet. He's safely out of the country and for the time being it looks like he will have to remain there."

She was disappointed, but more than anything glad that she got to at least see Remus and be assured that he was well. He stayed the weekend and they ordered Indian take-away, reminisced about Paris, laughed about Hogwarts, and played cards. It was fun, and of course ended far too soon.

"Why does it seem like we spend so much time saying goodbye to each other?" she asked him, as she gave him a farewell hug.

"Not goodbye as much as… until we meet again. How about that?"

She grinned. "That sounds better, but I still don't like it. It's no good always having to be apart from my favorite people. It gets me depressed."

"I'm glad to be one of your favorite people and to have you as one of mine. Hopefully someday there will be less need for all this running and we can sit around and get old together. Sirius is even worse at cards than you are so you might actually get to win once in a while."

The first night back at Hogwarts was an exciting one. Tamara was a bit disappointed to find that Severus wasn't waiting for her at her classroom door this time, but she got some unpacking done before dinner anyway.

When she reached the great hall and saw Severus she was sorely tempted to leap on him and give him a big hug, but she knew he'd be terribly embarrassed if she did that in front of the staff and students so she restrained herself.

She and Severus stood behind Minerva McGonagall for the Headmaster's address. Sev told Tamara that she'd want to be standing to see the surprise that was coming.

Professor Dumbledore announced that Hogwarts would be hosing the Tri-Wizard Tournament this year. That meant that students from two other magic schools would be spending the year there. The students from the other schools made dramatic entrances. She had to admit they were very impressive looking, though she personally thought the Beauxbatons girls' flirtatiousness a little over the top, and couldn't help but giggle at the display of pure testosterone from the Durmstrang boys.

When she laughed Severus gave her a secret teasing poke in the ribs and she had to bite her lip and count to ten to keep from full on cracking up.

Tam noticed that the Headmistress of Beauxbatons seemed to capture the attention of Rubeus Hagrid, and it made her smile. The woman was even taller than he was, and she thought they'd make an adorable couple.

The Headmaster of Durmstrang was a large dark haired bearded man who spoke with a thick accent. Tam was sure she saw Severus stiffen beside her at the sight of him, and it made her nervous.

After dinner the Headmaster attempted to explain more about the Tournament, but was interrupted by the entrance of a very strange looking man. He looked like several bits of him were missing, and had been replaced with mechanics. Dumbledore embraced the man, and said something quietly to him. When he was seated, the fellow from the Ministry, Bartemius Crouch was his name, and the Headmaster continued where they had left off, and unveiled the Goblet of Fire. Tamara was intrigued but couldn't shake a feeling of impending trouble.

Later on in Sev's quarters she finally got the chance to give him the big hug she'd been thinking of and she nearly knocked him over in her enthusiasm.

"I missed you!" she laughed.

"Obviously" he drawled, smirking at her exuberance. "Although, it makes little sense considering the fact that you could have spent the rest of the summer with me rather than running off to meet your werewolf."

She bit back a smile at the jealous jab, and hugged him tighter. "Yes, I know, but I never know when I'll get a chance to see Remus. Besides, in your case I was hoping that the old saying about absence making the heart grow fonder would prove true. Are you any fonder of me?"

He smirked. "Exponentially."

"Good. So, our guests this year… know anything about them?"

He shrugged. "Nothing of any importance." He suddenly had a conflicted expression and she gave him a questioning look. "Except… keep yourself clear of Igor Karkoroff… as a favor to me."

She grinned mischievously "Is this request business or personal?"

Rolling his eyes, he replied "Business. Promise me."

She put her hand over her heart and said cheekily "I promise I will stay away from this Karkaroff person. Why you had to make me promise though I don't know, as frankly, he's scary, so I wasn't planning on paying him any visits anyway."

Severus chuckled. "You count in your circle of friends a werewolf, a fugitive… and me… so that should be proof enough that your definition of _scary_ is different than that of most people. In all seriousness Tamara… Karkaroff mustn't become aware of the depth of your friendship with me. That is important. We'll have to be very careful about that."

The amusement was gone from her face and was replaced by wariness. "Who is this guy?"

"Someone I used to know. Just do as I ask and in time you will come to understand. Yes?"

She sighed, annoyed, but nodded. "Yes. Of course. Who was that other guy who came in? The one Dumbledore talked to?"

"Alastor Moody" Severus said. "A retired Auror. Completely mad. The Headmaster has decided to give him the Defense Against the Dark Arts position."

Tamara felt sorry for Severus, knowing how badly he wanted that job. Truthfully though, she was glad that the Headmaster continued to deny him it because she, like most everyone else, now suspected that the position was cursed. She was glad that Remus had gotten through it mostly unscathed and didn't want to think of what could happen to Sev if he ended up with it.

There was restlessness among the students as the of-age ones began submitting their names into the Goblet of Fire for a chance to compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. In class she found it more difficult to keep their attention on what she was trying to teach them.

Tamara wasn't there to see it, but she was told by some other students that her friends the Weasley twins had attempted to use an aging potion to cheat their way past the rule keeping underage wizards out of the competition. The effort had landed them both in the hospital wing, but they would be all right. She paid them a visit, and their enthusiasm hadn't seemed to be suffering.

On the night that Professor Dumbledore announced the competitors Tam, as usual, was next to Severus. He announced Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour, and Cedric Diggory as the Tri-Wizard champions. Everyone cheered, but Tam noticed Severus looking at the goblet with a concerned expression, and just as Dumbledore turned to look at it as well, it flared and another name emerged.

Harry Potter.

When the chaos following that revelation settled, Severus took off with McGonagall, Moody and the visiting Headmasters to Dumbledore's office. Tam went to his quarters to wait for him.

Upon his return, she was filled in on what details he felt comfortable giving her. She knew there were things he was leaving out, but she didn't push him. If he didn't feel it was any of her business she would respect his judgment.

Apparently nobody was sure why or how Harry's name had been submitted. The other schools' Heads believed that he had somehow cheated his way in, but Severus said Dumbledore knew better than that. As of now, it looked like the best course of action was to simply wait and see what would happen, while keeping as close a watch on things as possible.

Tam came to the realization that as she had been trying to keep tabs on Harry for Remus in the last three years, most of her information on him had come from Severus. It occurred to her that _he_ was keeping a very close eye on the boy himself, and she couldn't help but wonder why.

Of course she knew that there was a rather unpleasant history between the boy's father and Sev, and it was no secret that he certainly wasn't Harry's biggest fan… but his interest seemed to be, in spite of the snide remarks, protective in nature. As close as she was to the enigmatic Potions Master he was still a puzzle, even to her.

Whatever was going on in Severus' well-guarded mind Tamara was not about to ask. He was very touchy lately (even for him) and his temper lurked close to the surface. She knew some of the things that were bothering him, like the fact that someone was stealing ingredients from his stores (which was potentially dangerous as well as obnoxious). Then there was the unease he had about the Durmstrang Headmaster Karkaroff, and the fact that "Mad-Eye" Moody seemed to be out to get him.

Tamara couldn't figure out why the ex-auror would be so interested in Severus but it disturbed the hell out of her. She didn't dare ask Sev himself because she knew it was bothering him enough already without her digging for answers. There wasn't much she could do about it, so she limited herself to giving the man dirty looks in the corridors as a show of solidarity.


	12. Nice Ink

The first challenge in the Tri-Wizard tournament arrived, and Tam was horrified when she learned what it entailed. The contestants were to retrieve a golden egg from a dragon. Each competitor would have their own dragon to face off against. Poor Harry was the last one to have a go.

Tamara had wanted to sit with Severus to watch but he told her that because of Karkaroff that it was best if she didn't. She decided to sit with Hagrid. He knew a lot about dragons, she knew, and it felt like a good thing to be near another who she knew would be rooting for Harry.

For the most part, seeing the contestants against the dragons was exhilarating. When it came to Viktor Krum's turn though, the Durmstrang Champion's tactics did not sit well with Tamara and Hagrid. He blinded the dragon and in her pain and confusion she ended up stepping on and crushing many of her own eggs, thereby killing her babies within. Tam cried out in horror, and Hagrid started swearing angrily that it should be against the rules. Tamara grabbed his hand to comfort him and told him that she agreed wholeheartedly.

Finally seeing young Harry go up against the Hungarian Horntail made her sick to her stomach. She could tell Hagrid was nervous too, as his grip on her hand became painful. She was glad for the companionship though, and tried to be as reassuring as possible to the big man. Thankfully, Harry made it through alive, and managed to get the egg. Tam and Hagrid both jumped up and cheered, and she found herself flung up into the air by her large friend in celebration.

One evening Severus was called to a meeting after dinner, and when he got back to his quarters afterwards he was even more on edge than he had been before.

"All right what _is_ it?" Tam asked, worried.

His expression was pure poison. "Bloody dancing" he spat.

Tam was sure the confusion must have shown on her face because he heaved a huge irritated sigh before he explained.

"The Yule Ball. It goes along with this ridiculous bloody competition and I've just been informed that the house heads are _responsible_ for making sure that the students of their houses know how to dance. How in the bloody hell am I supposed to do that? I don't dance. In fact I'd rather go up against one of those sodding dragons."

Tamara put her hand over her mouth so he wouldn't see her grinning and coughed to cover the giggles. It didn't work, and the look he shot her was savage.

"Well I'm affiliated with Slytherin house too, and I _am_the Magical Performing Arts teacher aren't I? I'll help you."

He raised an eyebrow at her, but looked relieved. "Help? I think it would _help_ immensely if you'd just do it for me."

She shook her head. "Do it for you? That doesn't sound like you. You don't cop out of your duties like that."

"I do not dance Tamara and with good reason. I wouldn't have the slightest idea what to do. Honestly can you imagine me flitting about the room with some Slytherin chit attached to me? The very thought makes me feel ill." He looked so desperate she had to feign a choking fit to cover her laughter.

Once again the glare she received was venomous.

"How about you flit around the room with _me_ attached to you?" she offered, feeling guilty for laughing. "We can show them that way. I'll give you some lessons first and then I'll lead you without making it look like I am. Nobody will know the difference. It'll be fine I promise."

The next day she gave him a lesson during a free period. He spent most of it sulking, but what dancing she had been able to get him to do actually hadn't been half bad. She assured him that he'd be fine if he gave it a little more effort. He didn't believe her and was so annoyed by the whole thing that he changed his password and wouldn't let her in that night.

As her luck would have it, they were both on study hall duty the following day and she got her chance to give _him_the silent treatment.

Disgruntled by her being mad at him he did his best to get her attention by tormenting the students. Ordinarily such behavior didn't impress her but today he was doing it in a way that though the students thought he was being as grumpy as ever Tamara recognized that he was actually being deliberately silly.

When Ron Weasley was talking too loud Severus gave him a swift swat upside the head with a book, and threw in another one for Harry Potter as reward for his frantically trying to warn Ron that Snape was coming.

He kept peeking at Tamara over the notebooks he was checking, and when Hermione Granger went to turn hers over to him he snatched it so theatrically Tam could hear the wind whistle across it.

Catching Ron and Harry still talking he snuck up behind them and pausing to dramatically pull up his sleeves, he reached down and shoved both of their heads down to focus on their books.

It was all Tam could do to keep herself from laughing out loud, and when she finally rewarded his efforts with a grin his satisfied smirk actually did make her giggle. She just couldn't help it.

That night she gave him another dance lesson and this time he put a bit more effort in, although she could tell he was still miserable about it.

"All right, I'll just do it" she said finally, feeling sorry for him.

His expression was questioning.

"Tomorrow we'll gather up the Slytherins and show them all how it's done. You talk to them because you're their head of house, and I'll do the dancing. Does that make you feel any better?"

"Yes!" he said. "Thank you."

She gave him a sly smirk. "You are very welcome Sweet… on one condition."

Now he looked nervous. "What?"

"You have to take me to the ball. As your date."

To her surprise, he actually smiled for a second. "I'm afraid I can't" he said. "Karkaroff would certainly notice that. I think _everyone_ would notice that."

Disappointed, she had to admit that he was right. "Ok, yes, I agree. You could dance with me once though. That doesn't necessarily imply anything but polite colleagues right?"

He snorted. "I thought the whole point of you taking this duty for me was that I do not dance? If I won't do it in front of only my own house I won't do it in front of the whole bloody school."

"One little dance won't kill you and I'll do all the work I swear! You're actually doing pretty well now you know. There's nothing to worry about. Please?"

"Absolutely not. Tamara as my friend; don't make me choose between humiliating myself in front of my own house or in front of _everyone_."

She sighed, knowing that she cared too much about the git to force him. "Ok, ok. I'll do it anyway… but you owe me Mister!"

In spite of her lack of date (there was no way she'd ever even think of going with anyone but Sev) Tamara decided that it wouldn't hurt to dress up anyway for the ball. She decided to get out the green velvet dress she'd worn to the Malfoy's Christmas party two years ago, knowing that Severus would remember it. She noticed that he stared at her in it more this time than he had before.

Tamara was annoyed to see Karkaroff stuck close to Severus so that she really couldn't talk to him. _Oh just bugger off already would you…_she thought to herself.

As the Tri-Wizard champions all entered with their dates she finally managed to sidle close enough to Sev that he would be able to hear her, and when Karkaroff left to dance with a witch she didn't recognize she took her chance.

"Sev please dance with me once" she begged.

He looked straight ahead and didn't turn to her when he spoke. "No."

"Oh come on! McGonagall's dancing with Dumbledore for crying out loud! This isn't fair." She had an evil thought and grinned. "Right, when Karkaroff's finished with that lady I'm going to ask if _he_ wants to dance with me, since you don't."

He still didn't look. "You will not."

"Just try me Severus Snape."

With a growl of irritation he reached out his hand and she took it triumphantly. She led him while making it look like he was leading her, and they made a very elegant looking couple. She'd always admired his graceful way of moving, and she got quite a rush from getting to dance with him and feel that movement firsthand. She wanted to hold him close to her while they danced, but that was out of the question, she had assumed, so she was shocked when he pulled her up against him.

"Merlin's beard…" she whispered in his ear. "Filch is dancing with his cat."

Severus chuckled, and the vibration of it through his chest up against hers made her want to kiss him.

After the song ended he reluctantly let go of her and said "I have to be here for a few hours as a chaperone but I'll meet you later on if you like."

She nodded. "I'm going to have a word with the Headmaster about having more dances and making sure not to invite scary people so I can dance with you as long as I like" she mumbled, pouting.

He smiled and walked away from her.

She decided on a whim to go over and ask Mrs. Norris the cat if she could cut in, and had a quick dance with Filch. Tamara figured it would do the old boy's morale some good. She couldn't decide who looked more shocked, him or the cat. When she looked in Sev's direction she caught him smirking at her and shot him a wink.

After Filch she managed to snag a dance with Professor Dumbledore. "I see your lessons with Severus went well for him" he said cheerfully.

"He told you about that sir?"

"Oh yes. It came up when he was pleading with me not to make him dance in front of the Slytherins."

Tamara laughed.

His eyes sparkling, he went on "It was very kind of you to take care of that for him Tamara. Although I did wonder… how exactly did you convince him to dance with you tonight?"

"I told him if he didn't I would dance with Igor Karkaroff."

"Ah, I see! Well done."

Tamara would have tried to get in a dance with Hagrid, as she was very fond of the gamekeeper, but she didn't dare ask the Beauxbatons Headmistress if she could cut in. He and Madame Maxime didn't part all night. Tam was happy for him.

Exhausted and a little bored, she decided to go and wait for Severus. She fell asleep before he got back, but since she woke up the next morning in his bed rather than where she had dozed off on the couch, she knew he had been back at some point and thoughtfully moved her.

In class on Monday the Weasley twins were telling stories about the ball, and Tam learned that Severus had spent much of his time searching empty carriages to scatter the couples of amorous teenagers who were hiding in them for a snog.

Fred gave Tamara a naughty grin and said "We figure he was bitter about not getting a chance to snog his own dance partner."

George snickered "Yeah that would make anyone cranky."

Tam's eyes widened, but thankfully the other students didn't seem to have any idea what they were talking about. _Darn those boys and their gift of keen observation!_

"That's quite enough of that speculation, thank you!" she warned, though she was unable to fight back a smirk. The twins both grinned at her cheekily.

The next event in the Tri-Wizard tournament involved the competitors jumping into the Black Lake. Apparently an important person to each contestant had been taken and was being held captive at the bottom of the lake by the mer-people. Harry, rescuing not only his friend Ron, but also the little sister of Fleur Delacour, was awarded second place for outstanding moral fiber. Tam was proud of him, and sent off an owl to Remus about it.

That night, Bartemius Crouch was found dead in the forest. When Tam asked Severus what he thought was going on she could tell he knew more than he was saying, and that he was worried. She spent the night in his room again, wanting to be near him.

The next night he was even more agitated. "Tamara I have something to explain to you. I didn't do so before because the less you know the safer we both are, but… I feel the time has come for you to know more about my past."

She wasn't sure what to say, so she simply nodded.

"Igor Karkaroff was a death eater" he said. "Do you know what that is?"

She nodded. "Yes. They're followers of _Him_" she said.

"Yes. Karkaroff came to show me something. He has a mark on his left forearm. It looks like a tattoo, but it is burned into the skin with magic. It's called the _dark mark_. With the disappearance of the Dark Lord the marks were fading over time but now… now it appears they are blackening once again. He thinks this means that the Dark Lord is close to returning."

Tam shuddered. "Fantastic." she groaned. "I was told that they do _not_reform. No wonder you don't like him. What does this have to do with you though?"

He suddenly seemed intently focused on something over the top of her head rather than meeting her eyes. She knew immediately that whatever this was about, it was not something he was looking forward to explaining. She felt her palms start to get sweaty.

"Sev?"

He sighed, and unbuttoned his left sleeve. He pushed it back, and still not making eye contact, held out his arm for her to see. There on his inner forearm was what looked like a black tattoo of a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth.

Tamara tried hard not to show her shock, but her stomach felt like it was full of lead.

"I was young" he whispered "and very foolish."

"You aren't… you aren't still a…"

He shook his head. "No. Not for a long time. Before the Dark Lord disappeared I went to Dumbledore and defected. I was a spy for a while, providing information that I hoped would be useful."

He started to push his sleeve back down but Tamara grabbed his arm to get a better look. She ran her fingers over the mark but when she saw the look of misery on his face she pulled his sleeve back down for him and buttoned it back up.

"Dumbledore and I both believe that the Dark Lord will return, and Karkaroff is right that this is a sign. When the time comes I will be summoned and I must once again be a go-between. The Dark Lord will believe me a spy for him all the while I am actually providing information to Dumbledore. This is, obviously, a dangerous undertaking and that is why I felt you deserved to know the truth."

Tamara put her arms around him, feeling tears start to fill her eyes. She deeply regretted her comment about death eaters not reforming.

"You're very brave" she whispered. "I don't want you to do it, of course, but I'm proud of you. Very, very proud of you. Anything I can do to make it easier, just say the word."

He didn't say anything, just hugged her back. Inwardly he was reeling from shock. She hadn't run away in disgust, or given him that look of suspicion that he was used to from those who knew the truth. She hadn't tried to interrogate him, or even bothered to ask _why_ or _how could you_? No. She had hugged him and told him she was proud of his bravery. Sometimes he wondered if his dear little friend had actually been sent straight from heaven to make his life easier.

He held her tight for as long as she seemed to want to hold onto him, and though he wouldn't comment on it, he took a great deal of comfort from her acceptance.


	13. Precious To Me

The final event of the Tri-Wizard tournament involved going into an enchanted maze to retrieve the Tri-Wizard cup. Professor Dumbledore warned the contestants of the dangers of the maze, and they set off. Time passed and Tam found herself getting more and more nervous.

When someone finally emerged it was Harry. He was holding onto Cedric Diggory. The crowd cheered but Dumbledore rushed to the boy's side, followed by the Minister of Magic himself. Something wasn't right. Tam saw Severus (who of course, once again, couldn't sit with her) heading in their direction as well.

Harry was yelling. He was saying "He's back. Voldemort's back."

Mr. Diggory, Cedric's father, made his way down to his son, and suddenly he started to scream. Tamara realized that the boy was dead. Harry had brought back his body. Tam saw Severus put his hand on Dumbledore's back and she felt a lump grow in her throat. A student was dead. _Cedric_ was dead.

Much later, waiting in Severus' quarters, Tamara was surprised to see Albus Dumbledore himself step through the fireplace. Startled, she nearly leapt over the back of the couch.

"Headmaster?"

"Hello Tamara. Severus told me I'd find you here. He asked me to let you know that he was called away for a while."

She let out an involuntary whimper. She'd heard what Harry said when he emerged from the maze and she knew what "called away" meant.

"He told you, didn't he?"

Tam nodded. "Yes. Is he coming back?"

Dumbledore put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, but she thought to herself that the only thing that would accomplish that was Severus safely back and firmly planted in her arms.

"I believe he will, though I am not sure exactly when. I don't think it will be long. In the meantime, there's someone in my office who wanted to meet you. He's only here for a short time, and I thought it might be a nice diversion for you while you wait for Severus." He held out his hand, and she took it as they stepped into the fireplace.

Waiting in the Headmaster's office was a haggard, dirty and thin, dark haired wizard who Tamara recognized immediately. She'd seen him in a picture belonging to her friend Remus Lupin as well as from the wanted posters that could still occasionally be seen around Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley.

"Sirius!" she said.

He smiled and reached out his arms. She hugged him without hesitation.

"Remus has told me so much about you, I thought while I was here I should at least say hello" he said, squeezing her.

"I've been waiting to meet you" she told him. "It's funny I feel like I already know you."

He pulled back and smiled at her, looking into her eyes. "Remus didn't tell me how pretty you were. I'll have to scold him for that. Good to finally put a face to the name. Now that I'm back in the country you'll have to come and see us. As I understand it, I'm to go and find Remus as soon as I leave here."

"Give him my love will you?"

He nodded "Oh yes I'll be sure and give old Moony a big kiss, just for you."

She laughed. "He said you were funny. Be careful. Both of you. I don't know what to make of all of this, but I know it's bad."

Sirius nodded. "Yes, I'm afraid it is. Not the best time for an American witch to have moved to Britain unfortunately. I admire your courage for staying."

"All of my best friends are here, what choice was there? Besides, I feel at home here. There's no going back now. Your fight is my fight."

After bidding Sirius farewell Tamara returned to Sev's quarters to wait for him. She lay in his bed staring at the ceiling until she finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning.

Shortly after dawn she awoke and found him lying next to her. His eyes were closed but she could tell he wasn't sleeping.

"Sev?" she whispered.

He opened his eyes. "Hmm?"

"Are you all right?" She wanted to hug him but couldn't quite muster the courage.

"Yes."

"What did he do?"

"He knew why I didn't come when summoned to the graveyard… no, you won't know about that yet I'm sure. He questioned my loyalty and I got a reminder of what the cruciatus curse feels like, but I am, it seems, for the time being unharmed. He believes me loyal to him."

Hearing that he'd been tortured replaced her nervousness with sympathy and she slid closer to him so she could lay her head on his chest. She wanted to say something, but her throat felt swollen and when she finally opened her mouth to speak a sob came out instead.

Touched, he put his arms around her. "Hush. Nothing to cry about. I'm fine."

"It's not fair" she said.

"No, it's not, but _life_ isn't fair is it? Anything that I can do to help defeat him once and for all I _will_ do no matter what the cost. You said you wanted to make it easier, and you can do that by simply being here and understanding that I _must_ endure this mission I've been given until he's gone for good."

She nodded, feeling suddenly a fierce sense of duty to him. "I understand and I'll be right here."

"Did Dumbledore tell you anything?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No. I figured out where you went based on what you had told me before, and what I heard Harry say outside that maze."

Severus gave an irritated snort. "Couldn't be bothered I suppose. It was Moody; or rather it wasn't Moody… Barty Crouch Junior. He was a death eater who was supposed to have died in Azkaban, but apparently he didn't. He's been using polyjuice potion to impersonate Moody all year. Had the real one stuffed into a magical trunk half starved all this time. It was he who entered Potter into the competition. He killed his own father, and he made the Tri-Wizard cup into a portkey. Potter and Diggory were transported to a graveyard where, with a very dark potion, the Dark Lord was resurrected and Diggory was obviously killed. Potter managed to get to the cup and get back, barely."

"Moody was an imposter all this time? Wow. Harry brought Cedric back. That was very brave. Harry's really something. He really is the one isn't he? He's the one who will take Voldemort down."

Severus flinched when she said the name, which she hadn't seen him do before. "Don't say his name. Not now. It isn't safe. Yes, Potter is the one who will, we hope, defeat the Dark Lord. If he can't, then I daresay we are all in a great deal of trouble."

"You sent Dumbledore here to find me. Even knowing where you were going and what the risk was you were thinking about me?" she asked quietly, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

He smiled. "Naturally. You are the one person aside from the Headmaster who would genuinely mourn me if I didn't return. I knew you'd be worried and I wanted to make sure you weren't sitting here alone with no idea what to expect." She noticed that he was blushing a little. "As far as I'm concerned you're the closest I've got to _next of kin_ I suppose."

She felt like crying again but fought it to avoid upsetting him. "Thank you. That means a lot Sev, honestly. It was so strange Dumbledore popping out of the fire like that. Then he took me up to meet Sirius."

"Black? He took you to Black?" Severus' voice was still calm, but there was a cold furor behind it, she could tell.

She silently cursed herself for telling him. "Yes. He just wanted to meet me, that's all. Because of Remus. Don't worry about it. I was going to meet him eventually anyway, you knew that. He seems very nice. Poor thing's a mess isn't he? Looks worse now than he did in the wanted posters. I hope now that he's back in the country and has Remus to look after him that his condition will improve."

"Do you have a compulsion to sort out every troubled man you meet?" he asked nastily. "Because it seems to be a trend."

"Well, if I'm honest, yes. It's a weakness I have. Can't help it. Spare me the jealousy Sev, it's pointless."

He pulled away from her and sat up. "Is that why you bother with me?" He turned and shot her a vicious glare, one that he really meant for once. "I was the lonely and mysterious dungeon bat and you just _had_ to step in and become a companion for the _poor bastard_ who nobody else wanted anything to do with? I wasn't exactly out begging for a best friend you know. I _let_ you into my life but I did not _need_ you there."

Stunned, she stared at up at him unsure what to say. Obviously he was way off base, but the fact that he thought it at all made her very sad.

"Bloody hell" she breathed. "That's not how it is at all. I crashed into a guy in a hallway, and he was _obviously_ interesting, yeah, but I didn't know anything about his social habits." She studied his face, trying to figure out where this outburst had come from.

"Of course I soon figured out that you were a loner but it seemed to me that you _liked_ being on your own. I thought you were sexy to tell you the truth and that's why I wanted to befriend you. Purely selfish motives on my part, no charity involved. You ended up becoming extremely important to me though. There's nobody in the world I'm closer to, not even Remus."

His eyes continued to bore into hers, and she could tell he was checking her thoughts again. She didn't mind when he did it, she just wished he didn't feel he had to.

"What is that you do?" she asked. "I've known about it almost since I met you of course, being an empath, but I don't understand it. How do you do it?"

He looked a bit guilty now, apparently confident that she had, as usual, told him the truth. "It's called legilimency. It's very difficult, but I seem to have a knack. I can delve into the thoughts and memories of others and use what I see. I am also _very_ good at resisting other people's attempts to do it to me. Being able to prevent a legilimens from knowing what you're truly thinking is called occlumency. Incidentally, that is how I keep the Dark Lord from knowing which side I'm really on."

"That makes sense" she mumbled. "Look, I don't care if you feel the need to peek into my head; just don't ever be sneaky about it ok?"

He laid back down, looking nervous. "You have my word" he said. "Tamara I'm sorry…"

She shook her head snuggled back up to him. "Don't be. Now you know what you obviously needed to know, and that's fine. I'm not going to be mad at you when a little while ago I was scared I might never see you again. Life's too precarious for grudges, especially these days. Just remember how precious you are to me please? I know it sounds silly, but you really are."

He didn't reply. He couldn't. The very idea of him being _precious_ to anyone was just not something he could fathom, and it rather unnerved him.


	14. British Wizards

A few weeks into the summer Tam got an owl from Remus asking if she wanted to come and visit. He said he was staying with Sirius in the old Black family house in London, and he could come and get her if she wanted to come. Naturally, she was thrilled. Not only would she get to spend some time with Remus, but she'd get to see Sirius again as well. She was eager to see if the poor thing was looking any better than he had when they'd met at Hogwarts.

Remus explained on their way to 12 Grimmauld Place that the house was hidden from Muggles as well as other wizards and that Dumbledore himself was their secret keeper.

When they arrived, Tam was surprised to see the place come sliding out, apparently, of the house next to it.

"You British wizards really have some nifty ideas" she commented.

Remus laughed. "Listen, try to be quiet when we go in. There's a portrait that we can't seem to remove, and… she gets a bit loud. It's best not to disturb her."

Heeding his advice, Tam followed Remus through the hallway, and into the drawing room. Sirius stood up and held out his arms.

"Tamara!"

She threw her arms around him and squeezed. He did in fact look much better, although still obviously haggard from his time in Azkaban and then on the run. He was at least clean, and dressed a lot better. He appeared to have been eating a lot better as well, thankfully.

Remus grinned at them, seeming pleasantly surprised by their familiarity.

"Good to see you again Sirius!" she said sincerely.

He let her go and gestured to the people gathered around the room. "Miss Brookes, let me introduce you to some of the members of the Order of the Phoenix!"

Tam looked around.

"Molly and Arthur Weasley" he pointed to a red-haired couple standing together. They smiled.

"Oh hello!" she said. "Your children are lovely! Since we aren't at Hogwarts I don't mind telling you that your twins are my absolute favorite students."

Arthur grinned, but Molly looked positively shocked. "Really?" she gasped. "Well that is… lovely. Thank you so very much. They're upstairs right now, as a matter of fact."

There was a pretty young woman with pink hair sitting in a chair in the corner. Sirius pointed at her and said "Nymphadora Tonks, an auror, my cousin's daughter."

The woman glared at him. "Don't call me Nymphadora" she grumbled.

Remus chuckled "Tonks. She prefers Tonks."

Tam nodded "Tonks, good to meet you!"

"Wotcher!" Tonks grinned at her.

"Hello Miss Brookes" said the _real _Alastor Moody from where he was sitting on the sofa.

"Him you recognize I'm sure" Remus said.

"Yes I do! You look well Sir. I'm glad to see you safely back in your own identity."

He nodded. "I've been through worse" he assured her, grinning.

Sirius thought for a second. "Kingsley Shacklebolt will likely be here later. Emmeline Vance, she'll likely turn up in a while. You know Minerva McGonagall. There are many members of our little order, but this lot here are the ones you'll likely see the most of. Has Remus explained us to you?"

"He told me that you are the group formed by Albus Dumbledore to fight against You-Know-Who, and that you have been reassembled now that _He_ has returned" she said.

Sirius smiled. "Yes, that's right." His smile faded. "I had hoped to ask you to join, but I was forbidden from doing so" he grumbled, glowering at Remus.

Surprised, Tam looked at her old friend. "Why?"

Looking guilty, Remus sighed. "If it were up to me you would be back in the U.S. right now rather than here in the middle of all this mess. It isn't your fight, and I don't want you in danger because of us. It's my fault you're even here at all really, and if something happened to you I couldn't forgive myself."

"That's crap" Tam scolded. "I was already planning on settling in Britain when I met you, it's why I came to Europe in the first place. Paris was just a vacation. I got a job because of you and I made some very good friends because of you, and that is nothing to feel guilty about. It's my own choice what I do now, and I may not be as skilled a witch as some, but I am capable of holding my own."

He looked at the floor, and feeling sorry, she nudged his arm. "Right I won't join the order officially, but I'll keep myself at its disposal. How's that?"

Sirius gave her a wink. "Sounds brilliant" he said.

Remus smiled, and patted her on the back.

There was a sharp knock on the front door and suddenly a horrid shrieking exploded from the hallway.

"MUDBLOODS! FILTHY BLOOD-TRAITOR SCUM IN MY HOUSE!"

Remus cringed and Sirius dashed for the hallway swearing and grumbling. "He bloody well knows better and the bastard does it on purpose I know…"

Tam, wide-eyed, shot Remus a questioning glance. The screaming continued.

"A portrait of Mrs. Black" he explained gently. "Sirius' mum was… not like him." Tam noticed he looked uneasy, and when she heard a very familiar deep voice from the hall she knew why.

"I'd have thought you'd have managed to get it down by now Black, as you have nothing better to do with your time."

Tamara dashed like a child out of the drawing room and back into the hallway to fling herself at Severus. He looked shocked to see her but managed to get his arms out in time to catch her rather than be knocked over.

"SEV! What the hell are you doing here?" she giggled.

He looked suspiciously over at Sirius and then fondly down at his friend. "I had thought to ask you the same question my dear."

Still squeezing him she said "Remus brought me. I just got here too."

"Hmm. I'm here to report to the rest of the Order what I have been able to find out" he explained. Casting a smug look towards Sirius he added "I go and risk my neck to gather valuable information while others… remain here in hiding."

Sirius was glaring daggers at Severus and when his eyes met Tam's there was mistrust in them now.

"Tamara I didn't realize that you and Snape were chums" he said coldly.

Remus came up to them. "I'm afraid I must have forgotten to mention" he said nervously.

Severus snickered. "Don't hold it against her Black. She can't help her taste in company."

Tam rolled her eyes and looked over at Remus. "Never a dull moment" she mumbled, and he smiled at her apologetically.

They went into the kitchen where the other members had assembled. After a few more minutes they were joined by another arrival. A tall black man came in and Sirius introduced him to her as Kingsley Shacklebolt. He kissed the back of Tam's hand, and she laughed. Emmeline Vance also arrived, a kind witch who greeted Tamara with a warm smile.

"Well we're all here that are coming" Sirius said to Severus. "Out with it."

Severus glared at him and turned to Tamara, making a show of taking both her hands in his "Dearest, you're going to be annoyed, but do me a favor and wait for me in the other room please. There are some things that it is best you don't hear."

"She doesn't belong to you Snivellus" Sirius spat. "I trust her and she's a guest in my house. If she wants to stay, she may."

Tam flinched at hearing that nasty nickname. She had heard it before when she'd dreamed Sev's memories. Her eyes immediately narrowed. "No, it's fine. I trust Sev's judgment. If its better I don't hear it that's ok with me."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue but Remus quickly shook his head and Tamara left the room.

She waited for them in the drawing room, and she didn't have to wait long. While Molly busied herself in the kitchen fixing a meal the others milled about and Severus and Remus both came to fetch her.

Severus reached her first. "I'm not staying. If you'd like, you are welcome to come with me." She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was hoping she would, and she knew turning him down would hurt him.

She looked over at Remus and his expression was neutral. He stood watching with his hands in his pockets.

Tamara bit her lip, trying to come up with a good way to handle this. "Well, I only just got here really."

Sev's expression darkened.

"The plan was to stay here and visit for a few days" she explained to him carefully. "If you're coming here to report anyway then I'll leave with you next time and we can go catch up. I promise." She playfully poked him in the ribs, and it occurred to her that most people would sooner dare poke a sleeping dragon than Severus. "I've missed you."

He still looked irritated, but the answer seemed to have been good enough. "Suit yourself. I should be back the day after tomorrow." He glanced at Remus and then back to her. "Should you need _anything_ you know how to call me."

She nodded, and gave him a tight hug before he stalked back off to the hallway to leave. Closing her eyes, Tam sighed sadly.

"That was difficult" she mumbled.

Remus chuckled, and came over to set a hand on her shoulder. "I could tell. I didn't tell Sirius about you being close to Snape because I wanted him to get to know you first. If I'd told him before he met you he would have been suspicious of you right off the bat and that wouldn't be fair."

Sirius himself came into the room at that moment and spoke up "You're right of course, Moony, it wouldn't have been at all fair. I apologize Tamara. Snape's right you can't help having lousy taste in company" he teased. "He and I have a bit of a rough history I'm afraid."

"She already knows" Remus told him. "Tam's an empath. She picks up emotions and little flickers from the soul. If she's bonded with someone and they fall asleep near her she can catch visions of their memories. The year I was teaching she got a nice view of some of you and James' schooldays antics from Snape's mind in a dream. Boy did I get a telling off for that."

Sirius blushed. "Ah. Yes. Foolishness of youth and all that. Although, understand, Snape gave as well as he got. Up to his eyeballs in dark magic." More of Remus' words sinking in he suddenly looked curious. "Bonded?"

Remus chuckled. "Yes, much to my surprise, it seems old Severus and my dear friend Tamara have grown into quite close confidants."

Sirius gave a mischievous grin. "Snivellus with a _confidant_? Never thought I'd see the day. How on earth did you manage that, and why in the world did you want to?"

"Easy Trigger" she warned, making Remus laugh.

"He's very dear to me. I don't know why he let me get close to him, but he did, and I value that very much. He's not as… harsh… once he trusts a person. It's sort of like the way he talks to Dumbledore." she explained.

"From what I've witnessed Tamara, if you're honest, he talks to you a bit more kindly than he does to Dumbledore" Remus corrected carefully.

"Perhaps the way he might if Dumbledore were a beautiful young witch?" Sirius suggested, smirking nastily.

Tamara rolled her eyes. "Yes, probably. Either way, I like it, and I like him, so let it go."

Sirius studied her for a moment then tentatively suggested "Well it may not be a bad thing for the Order to have a little information on the informant. What do you say to that?"

Tamara saw Remus cringe. She sighed. "Honestly Sirius, I'm not reporting to anyone about my friend. That's bizarre! Besides, there's nothing to report. I can tell you with total certainty; he takes his mission very seriously and is completely trustworthy."

In spite of her assurance, he persisted. "But you must know plenty that we don't, if you're so close."

She laughed. "Sure, if you're interested in finding out things like the fact that he likes chocolate and is a hopeless insomniac. I don't think I'd be of much help even if I were willing to report on him, which I'm not. You see, those are the things I know. Friend things. Everyday boring things."

"Does he snore?" piped up Tonks from the doorway. "I always wondered about that."

Tamara laughed. "Nope. Doesn't sleep enough to snore, I think. He breathes kind of loud when he does doze off though. He's very good at chess. Kicks my arse every time. Also, he could drink a fully grown troll under the table. I think that's some sort of charm doing that though, because I don't see how it could be humanly possible otherwise."

Tonks was grinning. "Funny, hearing all of that one could almost see him as a real person."

"He is, but don't tell him I told you or he'd never forgive me for ruining his reputation."

"Molly says dinner's getting cold, so you lot better come tuck in" Tonks chuckled.

Sirius and Remus headed for the kitchen and the young Auror grabbed Tam's arm. "Brookes could I have a word?" she asked.

Tam nodded, smiling. "Sure, what's up?"

Tonks looked nervous, her pink hair suddenly rippled with streaks of darker magenta. "I just wondered… you've known Remus a long time haven't you?"

Tam nodded again. "A few years, yeah."

"Well, I wondered, does he ever… ya know, does he ever date?"

Not able to help it, Tamara giggled. "Hmm. That's a tricky thing with Remus. He lived with a girl a couple of years ago, and they cared for each other, but he's so worried about burdening anyone with his condition that he pretty much refuses to get serious. If there were someone" she smirked knowingly "who were interested enough though… I think that they should give it a shot anyway. He's well worth the effort, and you never know, maybe if it were the right girl he'd change his mind."

Tonks blushed, but was smiling. "What was she like? The girl he was with?"

Now it was Tam's turn to blush. "Well… she was me, actually."

Her new friend's eyes got wide. "Oh blimey, sorry!"

Tam giggled again, shaking her head. "No, don't be! It's fine. That was a few years ago, and we are friends. I adore Remus. He's like a brother to me, and I want him to be happy. I wasn't the right one, but I hope he finds the one who is. You really like him?"

Tonks nodded.

"That's great! Listen, your age will work against you. He always said he was too old for me, and you don't look like you're even my age. I'm twenty-five, how old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

Tam bit her lip. "Yeah, that's a strike against you, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't try. He's so worth it. Earn his respect" Tam suggested. "Start there. Earn his respect and be his friend. He appreciates the simple pleasures in life, and takes notice of the smallest kind gestures both towards himself and others. Show him strength and capability, because if he thinks you aren't strong enough to handle his condition he'll shy away."

The smile on the face of the younger woman made Tam feel very fond of her. It pleased her to see someone appreciate Remus.

"Thanks" Tonks said.

"No problem! It'd tickle me pink to see him happy. I'll put in a good word for you, and anything I can do to help, I'd be thrilled to do. As an extra bit of advice, keep track of the lunar cycle. It helps because it affects his emotions and his thought process. Closer to the full moon he gets tense, and on edge. Best to avoid anything too serious then, and keep it nice and light. If he gets a little terse with you at those times, forgive him, as he really doesn't mean to."

They headed to the kitchen to join the others, and Tam went over a list of things in her head that she could fill Tonks in on about Remus if she did in fact prove to be serious about him. There were things she wouldn't divulge until she could be sure, but she got a very sincere feeling from the girl. She had almost suggested that the best time for a little flirtation was actually close to the full moon because he was the most receptive to romance then, but she had decided that was something too personal about her friend to let spill to someone she'd just met. She'd never forgive herself if anything she said contributed to Remus being hurt.

The following day she spent helping Sirius, Molly and the Weasley children work on straightening up the Black house. She was having a fantastic time, in spite of the work involved. The twins as usual kept her in stitches, and she found herself having a very hard time refraining from flirting with Sirius Black. He was just so damned charming! Even when he got upset with Kreacher, the nasty little old house elf, or by something he found belonging to his dark-sided family, he was still attractive in his passionate displays.

The little smirks Tam found herself getting from Remus confirmed that he knew as well as she did that Sirius Black was just her type. He was troubled enough to appeal to her nurturing nature, while also being intense, kind, bold, and funny. His years in Azkaban had left him rugged, but still very handsome. She felt ashamed for noticing because of her feeling for Severus. If things had been different, if she'd met him first, there may have been a chance. As it was though, she knew that even if she had to wait forever, there was nobody she could feel for the way she did for Sev.

Tam pulled Remus aside into an empty upstairs bedroom to ask him for help. "I know you know why I have to talk to you" she mumbled.

He nodded, smirking. "About Sirius?" he asked quietly.

"Yes. Remus… I can't. In a perfect world, that'd be great wouldn't it? I know. I just can't though. I'm in love with someone else, and even though things are complicated, I can't walk away from him. He's the one. I like Sirius a lot, and I want to be his friend. I just can't be any more than that… even though it is _so bloody tempting_ I just can't. Does he? You know does he think about me like that? If he does you have to talk to him because I don't want to lead him on. Merlin's pants I hope he doesn't!"

Remus smiled, but she saw sadness in his eyes. "He would have, I think, but he's very clever. He spotted the other day that you're head over heels for Severus, don't worry. He doesn't understand it anymore than I do, but he is well aware of it. He did, I admit, ask me if he should try to change your mind, but I told him it wouldn't do any good. I'm glad to see you blend in so well here, and it makes me happy to see my old friend get along so well with a newer one, but no, neither of us have any expectations of it being any more than that."

She smiled, relieved. "How about you Remus? Anyone around here catch your eye in a special way?" she asked teasingly.

He chuckled. "What are you on about?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe a pretty young woman in the Order who seems to hang on your every word?"

He looked confused. "What _are_ you talking about?"

_Lordy, he's hopeless! _

"There are three unmarried women who are here often lately, and it's not me or Emmeline. So? Your thoughts?"

He looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "Certainly not Tonks? That's ridiculous Tamara, she's too young. Besides, you know how I feel about things like that. It was bad enough that I dragged you into this bloody war when I should have left you alone in that pub back in Paris for your own good. I won't hurt another woman."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm a big girl, and so is Tonks. She's a lot more of a bad-ass than I am."

Remus snickered at her wording, but she went on.

"She's an _Auror_ for Merlin's sake! Doesn't get much tougher than that. I think she could handle you. She's loads of fun too, not to mention positively gorgeous. If you don't date her Remus, I just might."

He grinned. "Go right ahead. I think you'd make a lovely couple. Poor Sirius might have a heart attack, but what's life without a little risk?"

Tam laughed. "I mean it though! She's brilliant. You're a fool if you don't see that. Don't write her off. You deserve to be happy, and women can make their own educated decisions for themselves. You don't have to be a martyr because you got dealt a bad hand. You're worth every speck of effort."

Remus put his arms around her and gave her a squeeze. "You're very sweet, and I promise you I will give your suggestion some serious consideration. Thank you for thinking of me."


	15. That's What Friends Do

The next night Tam had been expecting Severus, but he didn't show up. Concerned, she sat by the window upstairs overlooking the street and waited. Finally, Tonks invited her to go for a drink as a distraction, and they went to The Leaky Cauldron.

They talked about Remus, Sirius (calling him Padfoot to avoid catching any unwanted attention at the mention of a fugitive), and even Severus. They talked about Hogwarts and Dumbledore, and Tam told Tonks the story of her drugging at the Malfoy Christmas party. The young Auror laughed until she had tears in her eyes imaging Tamara talking lewdly about Snape in front of Dumbledore. Tam laughed too, and it felt good.

"This is so much fun!" Tam giggled. "All those men we hang around all the time, they're fine, but nothing beats getting together with another girl for a night out!"

Tonks nodded. "That's the truth! I haven't laughed like this since I was at school. I still can't get over you trying to snog Snape in front of Dumbledore!"

Tam started to laugh again and soon both of them were half on the table in hysterics, and some of the other patrons were starting to look confused.

"I know, I know! Don't tell Remus that story though. I never told him because he'd have flipped his lid!"

Tonks promised not to tell, and agreed that no, he probably wouldn't have seen the humor in it that they did.

By the time they arrived back at Grimmauld Place it was very late, past midnight, and Remus met them at the door.

"Tamara I am always glad to see you" he said "but never have I been gladder to see you than now. You have a guest in the drawing room and if he has to wait much longer there may be a full blown duel in there between him and our host."

Tam looked at Tonks and cringed. "Uh oh. Well, thank you for the lovely evening my dear. We will have to do it again very soon because it was fabulous!"

"Good luck Brookesy!" Tonks replied, giving her a quick hug before she headed for the drawing room.

Severus was standing in a corner with his arms crossed looking like he was an inch away from committing murder, and Sirius was sitting in a chair facing him with his wand in his lap, glaring hatefully.

"Ah, there you are my darling!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping out of his seat and wrapping Tam in a very possessive hug. "Remus tried to tell Snivellus we'd send you by floo as soon as you got back and _I_ just told him to piss off, but he wouldn't listen. Insisted on waiting for you."

Tam gave him a dirty look and stepped back. She knew he was purposely trying to mess with Severus and it irritated her. "Sirius knock it off" she grumbled. She patted his arm. "Tell Remus I'll be back when Severus comes again ok? Thanks for having me."

Smirking like a naughty school boy, he nodded. "We shall await your return with baited breath my dear!" He reached down next to his chair and handed her bag to her. Apparently one of them had brought it down from the room she'd been staying in. Probably Remus.

She picked it up with another thanks, and then she walked across the room to Severus. Looking up at him she suddenly became very concerned. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was far paler than usual. She noticed his shoulders were drooping, and he looked exhausted. She knew he had refused to sit with Sirius out of pride, but knowing him as well as she did, she could tell he wasn't far from simply collapsing on the spot. That was not normal, not for him.

He looked down into her eyes and she knew where he had been and why he had been late. He'd been _summoned_ and hadn't been able to get back in time for the meeting earlier. It didn't appear to have gone well either.

Tam knew she couldn't ask him anything in front of Sirius so she simply held out her hand, and tried to look as apologetic as possible. He took it without a word and they walked toward the door.

On the way out, Tam heard Remus and Tonks talking in the kitchen and she smiled, hoping that their conversation was a nice long one.

After walking a bit up the road they ducked into an alley and disapparated. Tam noticed that Severus apparated them right into his bedroom this time, and she was about to ask him what had happened to him when fell face first onto his bed.

She sat down next to him and put her hand on his back. "Sweet are you all right?" she asked, fear pounding in her chest.

"Yes" he said, muffled by the fact that his face was pressed into the blankets. "I just need to rest a while." He kicked off one of his boots and she leaned down to pull off the other one for him.

"I'm so sorry I made you wait, I shouldn't have left. I just intended to go out with Tonks for a little while, but we stayed out for hours. I'm so sorry Sev! What did he do to you?" Her voice cracked and he could tell she was near tears so he rolled over onto his back and held out his arms. She gratefully accepted the invitation and lay down on top of him so he could hold her.

"Don't worry about that" he said quietly. He sounded weak, which was disturbing to her because he _never_ sounded that way. "It's done now. I just need to rest, and I wanted you with me. Now you are. Just lay here with me."

She grabbed a pillow and gently lifted his head up so she could slip it under him. He smiled, and she kissed him softly on the lips.

"What was that for?" he asked, with a little smirk.

"Just because" she said. She breathed in his scent, and the comforting familiarity of it made her whole body relax completely. _If I ever lose this man I won't be able to go on_ she thought to herself.

His breathing slowed and she could tell he had fallen asleep. She carefully got up to change for bed and then snuggled back up beside him and went to sleep herself.

Sometime during the night she awoke to see Severus standing by his wardrobe. The only light in the room was from the streetlights outside, but she could see well enough to realize that he was undressing. Biting back a naughty smirk, and trying to stay still so he wouldn't notice that she was awake, she watched him strip down to a very cute little pair of black underpants.

_Oh they would be black _she thought. _What a cute butt… _

He pulled a gray nightshirt out of the cupboard and closed the doors again before slipping it on over his head. He pointed his wand at the bed and Tamara felt the blanket disappear from underneath her body and then reappear on top of it before he set his wand down on the night stand.

"That's a nifty trick" she mumbled.

He froze for a moment, and she knew he was wondering how long she'd been awake.

"Cute undies, by the way" she said, giggling.

Sliding under the covers with her he sighed. "Minx."

She giggled again and rolled over. He slid up close behind her and wrapped his body around hers. He was so warm and she was so glad to be with him that her emotions got the best of her and she said aloud "I want to stay like this forever."

"Yes please" he whispered in her ear, and she fell asleep again smiling.

In the morning she was shocked to find Severus still asleep, still holding onto her. It had been a far different night with him than what she was used to, and this was the topper. Normally if they spent a night together he slept in his clothes, too much of a gentleman to undress. He also _never_ was still in bed by morning. She knew he didn't ordinarily sleep much, and was used to him getting up well before dawn to go and find something to occupy his always active mind. The fact that he was still asleep now was a true testament to how tired he'd been the night before. She hoped he was all right.

Tam allowed herself to lay there wrapped up in him for quite a while. She enjoyed feeling his breath on the back of her neck and the slow movement of his chest. His hand was resting on her bare knee, and she grinned remembering how nice he looked in his underwear. Her mind wandered and she found herself tempted to just roll over and wake him up by demanding that he ravish her right then and there. The very thought made her whole body tingle with desire and she cursed herself for lacking the courage to act on it.

After a while she carefully untangled herself from him and went to the kitchen to make him some breakfast and coffee. She decided that she was going to make it her mission for the next few days to spoil him as much as was humanly possible. With what he was going through for the Order, he deserved it.

Severus eventually emerged from the bedroom dressed and looking much better than he had the night before. Over breakfast she tried to get him to tell her about what had happened with Voldemort but he evaded her questions as usual so she gave up.

"As you are so full of questions this morning, perhaps I could ask one of you?"

Knowing his tone did not bode well for her she sighed. "What's that?"

"What happened between you and Black that gave him the impression you were his _darling_? I've been curious about that since he said it, you see." His expression wasn't angry, just a bit pouty, which was a relief.

Tamara rolled her eyes. "Sirius likes to piss you off. That's all that was. There is absolutely nothing but friendship between myself and Sirius Black."

Severus raised an eyebrow at her and she knew he wasn't done. "Hmm. Well, honestly, since there isn't technically anything but friendship between you and I either I fail to find that terribly comforting."

She smirked. "No, we're different. We're… passionately platonic. Big difference."

He chuckled at the term. "Did you just make that up?"

She nodded. "Yes I did actually. Sev, if we were to be… more than that…"

"No" he cut her off quickly. Seeing the stung look on her face he sighed. "I am not in a position to even consider such a thing. As it is, the fact that you are near to me as you are puts both of our lives at risk and the greater our connection the greater the risk would be. Incidentally, I forgot to tell you last night, until further notice, when you are here please don't go outside and keep away from the windows."

She nodded. "Sure."

He could tell she was upset, and it made him feel sorry. "Don't be cross" he said quietly. "I don't _like_ this."

"Oh I know. I imagine that's why even though you know you can't be with me you do your best to make sure nobody else will be either" she snapped, regretting the words as soon as they were out.

His eyes shot up quickly to meet hers and he looked truly shocked. "You are free to do as you please. If I've given the impression that you were not, I apologize."

Tamara shook her head. "Never mind. Forget I said that ok?"

"I think you'll have noticed by now that I'm not very good at forgetting. You're right though, of course, that I have absolutely no claim on you nor any right to be…" he looked annoyed "jealous."

"Look it doesn't matter does it?" she said, frustrated. "It's my own fault I'm feeling this way. I shouldn't have just assumed that you felt a certain way, or would want to. That was a mistake. I'm sorry."

"I never said that I don't _want_ to. Honestly Tamara, contrary to popular opinion I _do_ in fact have feelings. I am in fact a heterosexual male. I _do_ notice every ridiculously lovely bloody thing about you and it positively _guts _me to think of you with anyone else. If I gave in to my more juvenile impulses I'd have you locked up in a cupboard somewhere to keep any other man from so much as _looking_ at you because there's nothing I would like more than to have you for myself. I'm just not willing to let you die for it."

"It wasn't fair of me to ask" she said quietly, still wishing she could take it all back.

"Of course it was" he corrected. "I'm rather glad you did, to tell the truth. It let me know that you… think about it, as I do. I do, you know, think about it. I am a miserable bastard, but can you imagine how much worse it would be if I didn't have you? If Potter succeeds and rids us of the Dark Lord once and for all then perhaps… if you still want to… you could ask me again if we're both still alive."

She smiled, knowing that he was right, and that the fact that he at least did want her to ask again someday was a very good sign.

_"Who is the woman Severus?" The Dark Lord asked, his hissing voice accusing, but almost sympathetic as well. A ruse, Severus knew. _

_ "My Lord?" he asked, feigning ignorance, carefully keeping her out of his thoughts. _

_ "You don't fool me Severus. Lucius told me about her. You told him she rejected you, but you desire her still, don't you Severus? I'm told that she is a pure blood witch, and very fetching. Surely, a fine wife for my loyal Lieutenant? If you want her, you need only say the word and she shall be yours. A gift from your generous Master."_

_ "I have no time for such distractions my Lord."_

_ The snakelike face was studying him carefully. There was no way out of this, there would be a test. "Ah, I understand. A pity to waste her though. Perhaps another among us? Dolohov?"_

_ Severus forced himself not to react. It took all his willpower. "Perhaps" he agreed._

_ "You will bring her here. We will let him have a look at her and decide for himself."_

Severus shot up in bed. He was soaked in sweat and his chest was heaving. His hands shook as he reached across the mattress looking for Tamara. She was there, of course, and he roughly yanked her towards him. Startled awake she let out a yelp. He wrapped his arms and long legs around her tightly, possessively, and she could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

"Who is Dolohov?" she asked.

He sighed, knowing she had seen his dream as well. _Damn that empathic gift of hers…_

"A very bad person" he said quietly, burying his face in her hair.

She wiggled around to hug him back. "It's ok. It was a dream, and I'm right here safe with you."

He nodded. "Yes you are." Suddenly there was a searing pain in his left forearm and, all too familiar with what it meant, he hissed and then let out a plaintive groan. "No…"

"What is it Sev?" she asked, frightened.

He reluctantly pulled away from her and sat up, lighting the bedroom candles with his wand. "I've got to go. I've been called. You need to get dressed and floo yourself to Grimmauld Place. I don't want you here alone. I'll contact you when I get back. I'm sorry I can't wait to see you off, if I'm late…"

"I understand. Make sure you let me know _as soon _as you get back. Be safe Sweet." She quickly kissed his shoulder before he could stand up.

She emerged from the fireplace in the drawing room at Grimmauld Place and was greeted by a very startled, and apparently slightly drunk, Sirius Black.

"Bloody hell!" he shouted.

"Sorry, just me."

"Snivy finally scare you away?" he asked, smirking, until he saw the look on her face. "I'm sorry Tamara, what's wrong?"

"He's been called. He told me to come here and wait to hear from him" she said, fighting the urge to cry.

Remus rushed into the room, looking worried. "Tamara? What's happened?"

She threw herself into his arms and the tears won out.

Remus looked at Sirius, questioning.

"Snape's been called to Voldemort apparently" Sirius explained, quickly using his wand to vanish the half empty bottle next to where he'd been sitting. "He sent her here."

"Oh dear I am sorry" Remus said, rubbing her back. "I know it frightens you. He is more than capable however, as you are aware. He'll be back."

Tam felt a hand on her cheek, gently brushing away her tears, and she opened her eyes to see Sirius next to them, looking concerned. She moved one hand off of Remus' back and wrapped it around Sirius waste so she was hugging them both. She was glad Severus had thought to send her here. She didn't think she could handle this without friends.

"It'll be all right" Sirius whispered. She knew he didn't like Sev, but the fact that he was trying to comfort her anyway touched her heart.

Sirius and Remus sat with her for quite a while. Eventually, when they still hadn't heard from Severus, Sirius insisted she go upstairs and try to get some sleep.

"I'll stay by the fireplace and wait for any word" he promised.

She did go to bed, but didn't sleep. When the sun came up and there had still been nothing, she made her way downstairs. Molly Weasley was making breakfast, and the twins, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione Granger were at the table.

"Hello Miss Brookes!" beamed Fred. "Didn't know you were lurking about."

George grinned at her.

"Hi guys!" she said, trying to sound cheerful. She noticed Hermione staring at her somewhat suspiciously.

_Sharp as a tack that girl _she thought.

When Molly noticed the darkness around her eyes she looked sympathetic. "Didn't sleep well dear? I assume you got in late, as we didn't see you last night."

"I was visiting with Severus but he was… called away" she explained. "So he sent me back here. I'm still waiting for word."

Tam noticed Hermione and Ron exchanging a look. She knew they weren't exactly fond of their potions teacher, even though they seemed to like Tamara well enough. She sat down next to Ginny, across from Hermione and smiled.

"So what's everyone up to today?" she asked.

"More tidying I'm afraid" Molly said with a sigh. "Not sure it will ever be done."

Hermione was still staring, and finally she asked very quietly "You're worried about him aren't you?"

Molly cleared her throat rather loudly, as a warning, and the girl blushed.

Tam smiled and nodded. "That's what friends do" she said. "I'm sure you know all about that."

Hermione smiled back, and nodded.

"A good friend, is he? Snape I mean?" Ron asked, looking incredulous.

"_Professor_ Snape Ronald Weasley, and mind your manners!" Molly scolded.

"Yes, actually he is. I usually explain it to people by asking if they'd rather have him as a friend or an enemy" Tam snickered.

Ron nodded. "You've got a point there. Makes me wish I'd had a choice."

"Ronald!" Molly barked, looking embarrassed. Tam laughed.

"Heard from Harry this summer?" she asked them.

Ron and Hermione nodded, but they both looked a bit upset. "Yes, but we aren't allowed to tell him anything that's going on here. Professor Dumbledore forbade it" Hermione explained.

Understanding why they felt bad, Tamara nodded. "I see. That's got to be difficult, for you as well as him."

Tam didn't see Sirius that day until much later, and she assumed he must have decided to catch up on sleep since he hadn't the night before. She spent the day cleaning up with Molly, Remus, and the teenagers.

In the evening, Severus finally sent for her via floo, and she went back to Spinner's End. He looked tired, but unhurt, and she was relieved.

She hadn't been back long when there was an owl from Professor Dumbledore telling Severus that Harry Potter had been attacked by dementors near his aunt and uncle's home and had been forced to use magic in front of his cousin in order to defend them both. Now, as a result, he was in danger of being expelled from Hogwarts, and would be brought to Grimmauld Place by some Aurors who were Order members.

"Who do you suppose will fetch him?" Tam asked Severus.

"Moody I'm sure. Kingsley, Emmeline Vance, Perhaps Tonks." He studied her face. "Do you want to go back? You aren't obligated to hole up here with me you know."

She laughed. "I'll go back when you do. I happen to _like_ being holed up here with you. I do like to see Tonks though. She's a lot of fun."

He nodded. "Seems a decent girl" he said. "A Hufflepuff, as I recall."

Tam looked at him in surprise. It was unlike him to complement someone like that. She grinned. "Yeah. I like her. She fancies Remus and I'm trying to help her win him over. Not an easy job with Remus. He's stubborn and insists on being a martyr. A lot like someone else I know" she teased.

He rolled his eyes. "Perhaps it is less about being a martyr and more about being conscientious" he suggested. "I must admit, it surprises me a bit that you are willing to share your werewolf."

Tamara glared at him. "Nice. I'd never wish Remus to be alone. He deserves to be happy. Besides, like I said, I really like her. I threatened him that if he didn't date her I would."

Sev's eyebrow immediately went up and Tam laughed.

He shook his head, smirking. "As it happens, I have to go to Grimmauld Place later tonight anyway to report. I suppose that will give you and your new girlfriend the opportunity to commiserate about us impossible old martyrs."

She grinned, liking the fact that he had lumped himself and Remus together in something for once. She knew it was hardly a nod of friendship, but from Sev, it was progress. She'd have to tell Tonks.

Harry was there when they arrived, but Tam didn't see him right away because he was upstairs with his friends. Molly had banned them from the meeting. Severus went into the kitchen to talk to the Order members and Tam waited in the drawing room. It irritated her that Severus didn't want her to hear about his business with the death eaters, but she knew it was for the best.

Bored, Tam decided to go and visit with the kids upstairs. She found them _on _the stairs battling Hermione's cat for one of the twins' extendable ears that they had apparently been using to eavesdrop on the meeting.

They all looked a bit horrified to be caught by her, except for the twins, who grinned proudly. Tam grinned back and put a finger to her lips to pledge her silence before walking away back into the drawing room.

After the meeting Tam expected to leave again with Severus but he shook his head. "Go on and stay" he said. "I know you want to. I'll be back in a few days. Besides, school starts soon. You may as well visit with your friends while you still can."

She smiled, wishing he would let the others, particularly Remus and Sirius, see the sweet side of him just once. "I'd rather visit with all of you at the same time…" she said, lightly scolding.

He made a face. "Not likely, I'm afraid. I'll be back soon."


	16. Night Out

Watching everyone's interactions over dinner Tam felt that she was being given a new insight into what was going on. Things were worse than they appeared. The ministry was turning against Dumbledore, and Harry as well. He would have to face an inquiry to stay at school, and it appeared the Minister himself wanted him expelled.

Molly and Sirius argued quite a bit over how much Harry should be told, and it got rather heated. Tam felt sorry for Arthur, who she could tell sided more with Sirius but didn't want to upset his wife any more than she already was.

After dinner she and Tonks talked Remus into going for a drink with them, and they once again hit the Leaky Cauldron. Tam noticed that poor Tonks was quite a bit shyer this time now that the object of her affection was with them, but they still had a good time.

They decided to take a walk down Diagon Alley and enjoy the night air. It proved to be a decision they would regret. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a green light flashed out and hit Tam square in the back, throwing her into the air and slamming into a building. Remus and Tonks both spun around to face their attacker, and were greeted by the sight of two masked death eaters.

"Not so bad outside of the full moon are you, you filthy werewolf!" one spat, as his companion laughed.

There weren't many other wizards or witches out and about in the alley at that point, but most of the ones that were there scattered in fear.

Both death eaters fired curses at Remus and Tonks, but they managed to deflect them. "Stupefy!" Tonks cast, and the first one was knocked back.

"Petrificus Totalis!" Remus shouted, but the death eater dodged it, and disapparated himself and his companion away.

Tonks stood guard as Remus rushed to check on Tamara. He felt terrible. She'd been hit because she was with him, a known outspoken enemy of Voldemort. He found her unconscious and bleeding on the cobblestones. There was a large gash on the side of her head and her shoulder looked wrong, badly out of place.

"We've got to get her back" he told Tonks. "She's hurt."

They apparated back to the order headquarters in the Black house, right into the drawing room. Sirius was, as per usual these days, sitting in his chair drinking again.

His eyes got wide when he saw them. "Remus what happened?" he shouted.

"Death eaters in Diagon Alley. They were after me, but they hit her instead. She got thrown into the corner of a building."

"Ow…" Tam whined. "Remus what happened? Ow."

Tonks shot Sirius a worried look. Remus had gone ashen gray in the face and was shaking with guilt.

"We were attacked" he whispered. "You're badly hurt and we have to get you to a healer."

Sirius kneeled down on the floor and slid his hands under her head. He cringed at the sight of her wonky shoulder.

"Sev" she mumbled. "Call Sev, he can fix it."

Tonks nodded. "She's right, he'd be able to handle this, no trouble."

Sirius gestured towards the fireplace with his head, and Tonks disappeared into the flames.

Severus was in his study, reading a rare potion book he'd borrowed from Dumbledore's personal library when the fire flared, and someone crashed into the room.

He looked up startled, expecting to see Tamara. Instead he was faced with a wild-eyed pink-haired young woman.

"Tonks? What the in the bloody hell…"

"It's Tamara, she's hurt. She asked for you, you've got to come."

He sprung out of his chair and darted into the kitchen to his potions cupboard. "What do I need?" he yelled out to her.

"Uh… she's got a bad gash… I think a dislocated shoulder, and maybe some broken bones."

Severus cringed, and gathered up several vials. He grabbed a pain reliever, a sedative, a blood replenisher, and a salve to heal cuts.

"What happened to her?" he demanded, dropping the supplies into a pouch.

"Remus and I took her out. We were attacked by death eaters. They recognized him but hit her probably by accident. She was chucked hard into the corner of a building. I stunned one, but they got away" she explained.

With a growl, Severus tossed the floo powder and disappeared through the fireplace. She followed right behind him.

He found Tamara on the floor in the drawing room, her head in Sirius' lap. A completely traumatized looking Remus was holding her hands, and there were tears streaking his face.

Severus' first instinct was to order both of them out of the way, but he knew Tamara wouldn't want that, and honestly, they would probably be a comfort to her.

"Make room" he said, trying his best to sound gentle, even though he wanted to yell. Upsetting Tamara more at this point was not something he was willing to risk.

Remus let go of one hand and scooted over to the side.

Severus could tell by looking that Tonks' assessment had been right. He slid his wand down Tamara's sides and found three broken ribs as well.

"Episkey" he muttered, and there was a cracking sound as they repaired.

"Tamara" he called to her, snapping his fingers lightly in front of her face. Her eyes were rolling back in her head; he was sure from the pain. She was biting her bottom lip hard, and he suspected she was trying not to cry out.

She focused on his fingers. "Sev… Ow…. Hurts…"

He placed his palm firmly against her forehead as a comfort, ignoring how close it forced him to be to Black. "I know it does dear, but we're going to fix it." With his other hand he held the vial of pain reliever to her lips. "Drink this for me so I can tend your shoulder for you please" he said, keeping his voice as calm as possible.

She did as he asked, making a face at the taste. "Ugh…" she complained.

"Are you criticizing my brewing?" he teased, wanting to distract her, as he leveled his wand at her mangled shoulder.

"Yes" she squeaked, which made him smirk.

He said the spell and Tamara whined as her shoulder righted itself. If it hadn't been for the potion he'd given her there would have been screams.

"Black, please turn her head so that I can see the cut" he said, still forcing himself to be polite.

Looking very surprised and rather humbled, Sirius did as he was told. There was blood caked in her hair. Severus carefully pulled the hair away from the wound so he could see it better. He ran his wand over it, mumbling a spell, and it began to seal. Next he applied some of the salve he had brought.

"It would be easier if I removed the hair on that side" he commented, knowing how she would react.

"Don't you dare!" Tam hissed, and he smirked at her again.

"Keep her in that position for a bit" he told Sirius. "Tonks, take the purple vial out of that pouch and empty it into a tall glass. Then mix in a shot of brandy and bring it back."

"Gonna get drunk?" Tam asked, giggling weakly.

"I would like to, after the scare you've given me, but no, it's for you." he said with a smirk. "Here, drink this." He held a vial of red liquid to her lips.

"What is it? Looks like blood" she asked, scowling.

"That's because it is blood replenishing potion. A good thing to know how to make, which is why I taught you several years ago. I can see my lesson made a tremendous impression" he said dryly.

In spite of the fact that the joke came from his mortal enemy, Sirius snickered.

Tam drank the potion, once again making a face. "Nasty" she said. "You gotta start adding flavoring."

"I shall keep that in mind. How do you feel?"

"Sore" she said. "Not nearly like before though. I'm tired."

Remus looked desperately at Severus and he found he actually felt sorry for the man.

"She'll be fine" he said quietly. "A few days good rest and it'll be like nothing happened."

Lupin made a strangled sound, and laid his head down on Tam's forearm. He was still holding her hand. Severus felt very much like he was intruding on a private moment.

"Don't do that Remus" Tam scolded. "It's not your fault, and I'm going to be fine, like he said. It's ok now sweetheart."

Severus felt the usual stab of jealousy at that word, but he willed it to the back of his mind. No time for that right now.

Tonks returned with a glass of liquid that was now a deep maroon color instead of purple. She handed it to Severus, and he swirled the liquid around in the glass, holding it up to the firelight. "Perfect" he said. "You were a decent potions student as I recall Tonks."

Blushing as she kneeled down behind Remus Tonks mumbled "Thanks Professor" which made Tam laugh.

"Ow. Hurts to laugh" she grumbled.

"Then stop laughing" Severus suggested sarcastically, but his dark eyes sparkled with amusement, and it only made her laugh more.

"Dammit" she grumbled, giggling.

"Help her sit up Black" Severus requested, and Sirius very carefully propped Tamara up into a sitting position. She closed her eyes and whimpered a little, but she managed.

Remus was still clutching her arm against his face, and she stroked his fingers sympathetically.

Tonks was right behind him and she shot Tamara a concerned look.

Tam tilted her head towards his back, and Tonks shook her head, eyes wide. Watching them made Severus uncomfortable. He glanced at Black, who smirked at him.

A glare from Tam finally gave the young auror the courage she needed to set her hand on Remus' back. The gesture turned said glare into a pleased smile, and Severus rolled his eyes.

"Right. You aren't going to like the taste of this either" he said. "I want you to drink it all. The quicker the better."

"What's this one?" she asked.

"It will help you to rest" he told her.

Tamara shook her head. "No, I don't need that."

Severus gave her a _look_. It was a look that he often gave to students when they disobeyed him. It was never necessary to give it to the same student twice. Apparently it worked just as well on Tamara because she took a large swig of the dark liquid.

"Oh guh…" she gagged and Severus leaned back a bit in case she threw up.

"Heads up Remus" Sirius warned, and Lupin did in fact sit up, finally. He leaned back against Tonks, which made Tam forget her nausea and smile.

"Finish it" Severus ordered.

"Oh come on!"

"Now" he growled, and she obeyed, but she had to close her eyes and count to thirty before the urge to sick it back up again passed.

"I should have ralphed on you" she grumbled, which made Sirius and Tonks both snort.

"Is that any way to say thank you?" Severus teased, holding out his hand to her. She eased herself forward and into his lap.

"Thank you Sev" she said, yawning.

"I cannot express how very welcome you are" he said, hugging her. It was awkward with this particular audience, but he honestly didn't care. He hadn't liked seeing her in pain.

"Now" he said "we have to get you upstairs and into bed."

"I want to go with you" she complained.

"No my dear. I'm afraid that isn't possible as I have no way to know when I'll be called away, and you need to rest. Besides, you have friends here to look after you."

Severus stood up and leaned down to gather her up into his arms. She clung onto him like a child and it made him smirk. He could have moved her with magic… but that was far too impersonal for this particular witch. He wanted to enjoy a moment of holding her before he had to leave her again.

"Lead the way" he said to Sirius.

"Good night Tamara" Remus said. "If you need anything you know I'm just a room over from you. I'm so sorry" he mumbled, getting choked up again.

"I'm fine honey" she said, her words slurring from the sedative. "Dora, take care of him…"

"Will do Brookesy!"

Sirius led Severus up the stairs and pushed open the door to the room Tamara slept in when she stayed over. Fred and George came out into the hallway. "What's the ruckus?" Fred asked.

"Ooh, what's wrong with Miss Brookes?" George wondered, looking worried.

Severus ignored them, so Sirius said "Just a little accident. Get back to bed boys."

Almost as soon as Tamara was deposited in bed she passed out cold from the powerful potion. Severus brushed her hair away from her face.

"Scourgify" he said quietly, removing the blood from her hair and face with a spell.

He stood to leave and came face to face with Sirius Black. The two men stared each other down for several seconds when finally Sirius gave a respectful nod.

"Thank you" he said. "I see now, why she… well, I understand better than I did. You have a way with her."

Severus was stunned, but he returned the nod before he briskly strode out of the room.

Sirius conjured a chair to plop into next to her bed. A few minutes later Remus and Tonks came in to join him.

"How is she?" Remus asked, looking slightly less distraught.

"Out like a light" Sirius said, flashing his old friend an encouraging smile.

Molly Weasley knocked lightly on the door before she entered, in spite of the fact that it was open.

"I heard the twins out of bed and thought they were up to something, but they said there'd been an accident. What's happened?"

"Remus, Tonks, and Tamara here went out earlier and they were attacked in Diagon Alley. Tamara was hurt, but she's all right now. Just needs to rest up for a few days we're told" Sirius explained, trying his best to sound casual. He didn't want Molly getting any more jumpy than she already had been lately.

"Told by whom?" Molly asked, sounding on the verge of hysterics.

"She had me go for Snape" Tonks told her. "He came straight away and fixed her up right on the drawing room floor. It was bloody impressive, truth be told. We'd have had to take her to St. Mungo's if it hadn't been for him I reckon."

Sirius scowled, but he nodded. Even he couldn't deny that old Snivellus had saved the day this time.

Remus smiled. "Dumbledore has always sworn by Severus' ability to patch up wounded. Said he'd have made a fantastic healer if it weren't for his distaste of people in general." He chuckled. "I must say I was expecting to be eviscerated thoroughly for allowing this to happen to her in the first place, but he was very kind."

"Well I'll be" Molly breathed, shocked. "Does this mean we can expect you boys to be a bit kinder about her affection for him in future?"

Remus chuckled again. "Oh I resigned myself to that nearly two years ago now."

"I won't tease her about him anymore" Sirius promised "but don't expect me to stop hating the bastard."

Tonks giggled. "Some things just can't be changed I suppose" she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Yes" Sirius agreed, smirking. "Anyway, you lot get off to bed" he ordered. "I was sitting up anyway, so I'll stay with her."

Tam awoke in the morning to find six teenagers gathered around her bed. She was very glad she had been put there with all of her clothes on.

"There she is!" said Fred happily.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty!" George added, grinning down at her.

"Merlin… you two look even taller from down here" she mumbled, smiling at them.

"Are you all right?" Hermione asked her, concerned. "Mrs. Weasley said you'd been hurt but wouldn't say how."

"Sirius told us you'd got attacked by death eaters" Ginny added.

She nodded. "Yes, I did. I was out with Tonks and Remus. I took the hit by mistake I'm told, but I'm glad I did to be honest. I was the weak link and it was my talented companions that got us out of there alive.

"Did they find out who it was?" Harry asked, looking anxious.

"Nope. I don't see how they will either, unfortunately. Whoever it was, they knew Remus was a werewolf, and I imagine they must know he's a member of the Order."

"Was it Snape that fixed you up?" George asked.

"Yeah was that why he was here last night?" Fred piped up.

Harry looked surprised, and, Tam thought, a little annoyed.

She nodded. "Yes, _Professor_ Snape came to help me. He did a very good job. You should have seen me when I got back last night. My shoulder wasn't on speaking terms with the rest of my body and I had some skull peeking out of my hair I suspect, if the expression on everyone's faces were anything to guess on. He fixed some ribs too, though I'm not sure how many."

"Bloody hell" Ron mumbled.

"That's what happens when you get chucked into a jagged stone building" she explained. "One experience I hope I never have to repeat."

"Yes, let's hope not" Sirius said from the doorway. "Now you lot clear off and let Miss Brookes get her rest."

"Oh I don't mind them" Tam corrected. "They can stay. I like the company." She stretched, carefully attempting to gauge how sore she was this morning. Her shoulder ached, and her ribs caused a slight stab in her side. She frowned.

_Apparently not getting up today_ she thought to herself, disappointed.

Sirius came into the room and took his place again in the chair. "You're even lovelier when you're sleeping you know" he informed her, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "I could hardly take my eyes off of you."

Tam noticed Harry grinning at his words and blushed.

"I am touched by your commitment to looking after me" she said. "Who says chivalry is dead? It is certainly alive and well here."

Remus came to the door then, and when Tam looked up she saw Severus standing behind him, scowling in Sirius' direction.

"Good morning Tam" Remus said, smiling. "Your healer is back to check that his expert work hasn't been ruined by us dunderheads while he was away. Better clear off kids" he said, and Tamara noticed he glanced at Sirius as well.

The teens piled out of the room, Severus backed up against the hallway wall to let them through. Sirius didn't move, and Remus sighed.

Severus strode over to where she lay and kneeled down in front of her. He pointedly ignored Sirius, who was smirking in his chair.

"How do you feel today?" Severus asked.

"Oh I'm fine. Sore as hell, but fine. Thank you for that, once again."

He smiled. "No trouble. Although next time you may want to remember you can always use _that_" he pointed to her Slytherin crest "to call me rather than sending someone careening into my study."

Tam giggled. "I forgot! I've had it for two years and the one time I need it in an actual emergency I forget all about it. Isn't that just typical?"

"Yes it's not _just_ for social calls" he teased. "In fact, incidents like last night were the sort of thing I had in mind when I enchanted it. Of course, at the time I was intending to protect you from a crazed fugitive… and now you've taken up residence at his house."

Tam's eyes got huge. "Sev!"

Sirius snorted. "If I were you Snivellus I'd be more worried about protecting her from your death eater friends. They're the ones responsible for what happened to her last night."

Remus and Tamara exchanged nervous glances, knowing that another spat was about to break out.

"When the school year has started I won't have to worry about her anymore at all because she'll be safely back where I can protect her myself" Severus spat. "I think you'll find that incidents like this won't happen when she is with me."

"Oh no, she'll simply be at risk of discovery by Voldemort and end up an imperiused brood-mare for some pure-blood degenerate!" Sirius bellowed.

He and Severus both rose to their feet at the same time, and their wands were out and leveled at each other in an instant.

Hearing the commotion, Molly came bursting in and slammed the door behind her in the worried face of Harry.

"What are you two doing? Have you gone mad?" she demanded. Remus put a hand on her arm.

"Sirius put it down" Remus pleaded. "This is ridiculous."

"I won't have Snivellus here accusing us of not taking care of our own!" Sirius yelled.

Having heard that particular name quite enough for one lifetime, Tamara ignored her aching body and threw herself off of the bed and onto her feet. She slipped in between the two men's extended wands and looked Sirius dead in the eyes.

Drawing her own wand she said in her iciest voice "Sirius I appreciate all that you have done for me and I am very fond of you, but I want you to know that if I hear you utter _that name_ in my presence even one more time I swear I will hex you into next year and never speak to you again."

She then turned to Severus, and seeing his smug smirk she glared at him. "As for you, that's about enough of your snarky little comments. You do have manners Severus, I've seen them, so it's time to put them to use."

Both men lowered their wands, and looked decidedly ashamed.

"I don't expect you two to be friends" she went on, quieter now. "But with our whole world at stake I think that fighting amongst ourselves is giving our enemy just what he wants. You're both far too good for this nonsense."

"I am sorry Tamara. I apologize for my behavior and I hope you can forgive me. You are, of course, completely right" Sirius said softly.

Severus gently set his hand on her hip. "Back to bed little friend" he said. "Black and I will behave ourselves if you will rest yourself and recover."

She nodded and gratefully dropped back onto the bed. Her body was screaming complaints at her.

Looking up at Molly and Remus and seeing them both biting back grins, she smirked. At least she'd made an impression.

Everyone left the room but Severus, and when they were alone she pulled him onto the bed with her. He chuckled but didn't argue. They didn't speak, he just held her, and after a while she fell asleep.

When she awoke again, he was gone, and Sirius was back in the chair by her bed.

"Hey you" she said.

He smiled. "Hey yourself. Not mad at me anymore?"

She shook her head. "Nah. You're a pal."

He laughed. "I'm glad to hear that."

Harry faced his inquiry bravely, and with some help from Dumbledore, he was found not guilty and allowed to return to Hogwarts. It was of course, a tremendous relief.


	17. Returning the Favor

_This is where the "M" rating starts to make more sense! This chapter gets a little bit naughty. Just a little. :-) _

* * *

><p>After the welcoming feast on the first night back, Tamara and Severus sat in his quarters discussing the latest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. This one was the greatest insult to Severus yet. A chubby little middle aged witch from the Ministry had been given the position this year. The sight of her was enough to puzzle anyone, with her obnoxious fluffy pink clothing and smug little smile, but when she had interrupted the Headmaster's speech, that was when Tam had become sure this one would be trouble.<p>

"Could you believe it? Who does that crazy pink toad think she is? What the hell was that noise she kept making? That _hem-hem _rubbish…" Tamara was ranting, and even though Severus was just as concerned as she was, he couldn't help but smirk at her indignation. She was cute when she was furious, as long as it wasn't directed at him.

"I suspect it will get worse" he said. "The Headmaster expects he'll be removed at some point this year, though naturally that information must remain strictly between you and I. The Minister refuses to accept that the Dark Lord has returned and he thinks it's all some sort of plot by Dumbledore to usurp his position. It would be laughable if it weren't so deadly serious. I even showed him…" he held up his left arm, and she understood.

Tam sighed. "What a moron. It doesn't say much when the wizard politicians are just as daffy as the muggle ones."

Severus snickered. "No, it doesn't."

As it turned out, their concerns about Delores Umbridge were valid ones. She quickly proved herself to be even worse than they had suspected. Tam learned from the Weasley twins that her DADA classes were completely useless. She had them studying watered down theory out of books that were more appropriate for five year olds than any student old enough to be at Hogwarts. They weren't even allowed to use their wands. There were also rumors flying about barbaric, torturous punishments being doled out on students.

Severus told her that the Headmaster was already worried about Potter, because Harry could not seem to control his temper with the nasty woman. It wasn't going to take long to escalate.

Before they knew it, the Minister granted Umbridge the title of "High Inquisitor" and the horrid bitty began inspecting classes.

"You should be safe because your class is…" Severus stopped himself suddenly, looking a bit nervous.

Tamara laughed at him. "Nothing but fluff anyway?" she finished for him. "Yes, I know, its ok. You're right. At the moment it seems my class is just what the Ministry ordered. I'd still like to tell that bitch what's for. You didn't hear her talking to Minerva the other day. I couldn't believe it. Brass balls on that one, talking to Min like that. Made me sick."

Severus snickered, once again enjoying his friend's fiery indignation. "Yes, well, do try and restrain yourself. If you let on how you feel you'll be just as at risk as the rest of us and that won't do. Dumbledore wanted me to make sure you were prepared to keep an eye out for Potter if need be. I plan to remain on Umbridge's good side if I can, but if my questionable past should be brought up, it might not be possible. She already hates McGonagall so we'll need someone still here in the Order."

"I'm not in the Order remember? Remus didn't want me in and you won't even let me listen in on meetings" she teased.

"You can be my spy then" he said, playfully.

She giggled. "The spy's spy? I'm flattered."

When Umbridge inspected Tamara's class it went fairly well, as she had expected. Thankfully it was not the class period that the Weasley twins were in. Honestly, Tam found herself a little bit annoyed at how much Umbridge seemed to delight in pointing out how _harmless_ her class was.

"Ah yes" she said. "I think the Minister will be pleased to hear of such a wholesome class for the young witches and wizards of Hogwarts. No danger, no trouble, no subversive messages. Well done my dear."

Tam smiled although she wanted to gag, and thanked the woman.

"Although…" Umbridge went on, that sickly sweet fake smile plastered on her face, "Perhaps it would be best to cut back on the muggle influence a bit yes? We already have a muggle studies class, and I think that perhaps we should remember that there truly _can _be too much of a good thing. Also… perhaps you could put on a bit more clothing?"

Severus' inspection did not, unfortunately, go quite as well. That night at dinner he was still so disturbed by whatever had been said that not only did he refuse to talk about it, he refused to talk _at all_ and hardly ate anything. He just sat there, glowering. Tam felt sorry for anyone who made the mistake of getting in his way tonight.

Knowing that Harry, Ron, and Hermione had been in his class during the inspection she decided to go to them for information. She managed to grab Hermione's robe on their way out of the great hall to get their attention. Seeing that Severus was watching her curiously she kept her words careful.

"Guys, can I talk to you in your common room for a minute?"

"Of course Miss Brookes, what's wrong?" Hermione asked, looking worried.

"Nothing, I just wanted to ask you something. I don't know your password so I'll follow you up."

When they were seated in the common room (which, Tam noted, was very nice and warmly decorated) she got down to business. The Weasley twins, surprised to see her in their house's neck of the castle, joined them.

"Ok, I know you wonder why I'm here" Tam said. "I am _dying _to know what happened today when Umbridge inspected Professor Snape's class and he refuses to tell me. In fact he has refused to speak all evening, so whatever it was, it must have been a doozy. I know you three were in that class."

Ron and Harry exchanged sly glances and snickered. Hermione blushed.

"Well" Hermione spoke up, swallowing nervously. "She wasn't very nice."

Tam nodded. "Well that much goes without saying. I need details."

The girl sighed. "She started by asking him if it's true that he's been teaching here for fourteen years. He said it was. Then she asked him if it were true that he first applied for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, and he said that was true too."

Tamara cringed, but nodded Hermione on.

"Then…." She continued, ignoring that Harry and Ron were snickering again. "Well, then she asked if it were true that he was unsuccessful. She was sounding all fake sympathetic and completely condescending."

"What did he say?" Tamara asked.

Harry and Ron both answered at the same time, mimicking Severus' signature sarcastic drawl "Ooobviously!"

Hermione bit her lip to fight back the smirk that was trying to plant itself on her face.

Tam sighed. "Then?"

"Well she asked him why, and he said that she had better ask Dumbledore that question. He wasn't happy, that's for sure. _Someone_ was stupid enough to snicker and they got a good whack with a book for their trouble" Hermione said, looking pointedly at Ron.

Hating Umbridge all the more, Tam grumbled a few choice words under her breath. "Pink little toad…" she mumbled, which made the twins laugh.

"Want us to fix her for you?" Fred offered.

"We'd be happy to!" agreed George.

"No guys. Thank you for the offer, but I want you to stay out of trouble ok? Well… do your best anyway" she said, trying to be realistic. "If I change my mind I'll let you know. Thanks for the info Hermione. I appreciate it. All of you do your best to stay out of that woman's way. She's a menace. Especially you Harry, the Ministry has it in for you enough as it is."

As Tamara made her way back down to the dungeons she tried to decide what to do. Her first instinct was to go to Severus and try to sooth his wounded pride, but at the same time she knew he was in a foul enough mood that he might not want to be bothered at all.

Unable to resist, she entered his quarters. At least he hadn't changed the password on her.

He was in his chair with a glass of brandy, glaring at the fire as if it had personally offended him.

"What was that all about? Order business that I'm not privy to?" he asked, and she could tell by his voice that she'd better answer carefully.

"Nope, just personal. We have an offer from the Weasley twins to _fix_ Umbridge for us if we'd like them to" she said, smirking. "I told them not for now, but we'll keep it in mind."

He didn't say anything, just kept glaring.

"You don't believe me do you?" she asked, trying not to giggle.

He slowly slid his eyes over to where she was standing. "No I don't."

Tamara sighed, and dropped to her knees in front of his chair. She set her elbows on his legs.

"All right, all right. I wanted to ask them what the Pink Toad said to you in your class today that has had you so utterly _beastly_ all day. You know I find you completely charming no matter what your mood, but I hate to see you so angry when you can't even give the object of your hatred a nice entertaining blast. It just sucks the fun right out of your temper when I don't get to see it in proper action."

In spite of his best efforts, he was unable to fight down the little smile that her words inspired.

"Don't be mad at me for prying, but I wanted to know. Who does she think she is anyway? Frankly I'm _glad_ you haven't ever gotten that damned job. Everyone swears it's hexed, and I'm rather inclined to believe them."

"It _is_ hexed" he confirmed, smirking. "The Dark Lord himself cursed it when Dumbledore wouldn't give _him_ the job."

"Then why in the hell do you want it?" she asked, horrified.

"Because I think I would be _good_ at it" he snapped. "I know more about the dark arts than anyone in this entire castle including Dumbledore himself. Who better to teach the students how to defend themselves than one of the sort of people they'll be defending themselves _from_?"

Tam frowned. "You're not one of _them_" she said, feeling the need to defend his character.

He rolled his eyes. "I _was_ one of them, whether you like to remember that or not and I still have to regularly _pretend_ to be one of them. I spend plenty of time in their company, believe me."

Severus looked into her eyes for a few seconds, studying her reactions.

"You have no idea the things I have to get up to in order to do what I do. If you saw me with them I don't think you'd be quite so quick to rush to my defense. In fact I don't think you'd even want to be in this room right now."

He drained his glass and with a swish of his wand the bottle rose up and refilled it for him. Tam could tell by his eyes and the slight slurring of his words that she had been right about him using a charm to achieve his great alcohol tolerance because he clearly was _not _using it tonight.

"Do you enjoy it so much, what you do with them?" she asked casually.

He glared at her "No" he growled.

"Then it doesn't worry me" she replied, climbing up into his lap. "And what the Umbridge woman thinks shouldn't worry _you_."

He quickly chugged the contents of his glass again, but before he could refill it Tam snatched it out of his hand and vanished it.

"Meddler" he accused, but there was no more anger in his eyes.

She nodded. "Yes, I suppose."

He stared at her for a while, and the look he had about him made her nervous, though she wasn't exactly sure why. It was… well, rather predatory.

Suddenly, to her absolute shock, his lips were on hers and his hand was sliding up her thigh under her skirt.

She moaned, unable to help it. Encouraged, he slid his hand higher still until he reached her knickers.

Tam let him stroke her for a few seconds, knowing that she shouldn't. He had very admirably managed to avoid taking advantage of her in a compromised state on a few occasions, and truly, she knew that the right thing to do was return the favor. It was not an easy task though, when what she had been dreaming of and longing for all these years was so conveniently presenting itself to her.

Shifting her position in his lap she felt her leg come into contact with something _very_ solid, and giggled into his kiss. Pulling her lips away from his she said "Sev, we can't."

"Why not?" he growled, kissing the side of her neck.

She closed her eyes and prayed for the strength to control her own raging lust. "Because you're drunk. You never took advantage of me and I won't take advantage of you."

He chuckled, low, and deliciously devilish. The sexy sound did _not_ help her resolve.

"Mmm… take advantage of me. _Please_?" he purred.

_Oh there's those bloody buggery teapots again…_

"Um…" she gasped as he sucked hard on her neck. "That's very… _very_ tempting Sweet, but I don't want you to regret it tomorrow."

"I won't" he insisted, letting go of her neck for a moment. "Believe me."

Tamara felt like screaming in frustration. This was not fair at all. She'd had so many fantasies about shagging this man since she'd met him, and now that he was literally _begging _her to do just that, she had a moral obligation to tell him no for his own good.

"We _can't_ Sev, I mean it" she said, grabbing his hand out from between her legs.

His eyes met hers and she felt terrible, seeing the stung, rejected look on his face. It broke her heart.

"Darling don't be sad" she said gently. "I don't _want _to say no, in fact it is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. I just don't want you do this under the influence of anything. Remember how you've said no to me for the same reason?"

He nodded, but now avoided looking her in the eyes. She knew he was embarrassed.

_Dammit… the one time he asks I have to say no, and now he'll never want to ask again… _

"Ask me again some time?" she suggested hopefully.

He shrugged. "If you don't mind, I was rather enjoying sitting here getting pissed by myself. I'm sure I'll be better company tomorrow."

Tamara sighed, and slid off of his lap. "Sure. See you tomorrow then."

She went next door to her own quarters and decided to go to bed. Trying to sleep was better than sitting around feeling lonely. Of course, sleep didn't arrive, and she ended up lying in her bed feeling lonely instead. Part of her thought that she probably should have just given in to Severus and done what she'd been wanting to do for years anyway.

He was a grown man, after all, and where she had no ability to magic away intoxication (although she realized she probably should ask him to teach her how to do that) he could do it apparently whenever he wanted. If she'd been smart she could have simply asked him to sober himself up and then decide if he still wanted her. She had a feeling he would have.

"Not fucking fair" she mumbled, brutally slugging her pillow in her frustration.

"What isn't fair?" came a very mischievous baritone voice from her bedroom doorway.

Squinting, she realized that she could just make out his shadow in the darkness.

"That's none of your business" she replied sharply. "I thought you wanted to get pissed by yourself."

He slowly slunk farther into the room, and as usual, Tamara admired the fluidity of his movement.

"I thought I did too" he said. "Once you'd gone I realized that I was wrong."

In spite of her frustration, she laughed. _Well, I really didn't want to be alone anyway, and here he is… No sense in holding a grudge._

"You're suddenly sober?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Yes. Completely humiliated as well" he confirmed. "Forgive me?"

"No. No I will not forgive you. It is cruel to… do things… like that… to someone who you know _damn well_ wants… When they can't, or they'd be… No. No I don't forgive you."

He was sitting on the end of her bed now and he leaned in so she could see his face. His expression was one of amused disbelief. "_Really_? Need I remind you how many times you have propositioned _me_ when you were out of your head? Do you think it was _easy_ to say no to you? In case you hadn't noticed I don't exactly have a throng of women lined up outside my bedroom door. I've got _you_, sexy little witch, insisting on writhing about on my lap every chance you get, and then I get to go to bed alone… Unless of course it's a night where you stay with me, and then I get to lay there smelling your hair and feeling the heat off your body and willing myself to endure the agonizing torment of it because you are far too important to me to send away. Tonight I slipped, and I got embarrassed so I _did_ send you away. I am sorry for that."

Tamara felt profoundly ashamed of herself. She loved being close to him, and she had never once realized that she was being a horrible tease.

"Ok, you've got me there" she admitted. "Sorry. I didn't realize." She knew he wouldn't like it, but her curiosity got the better of her. "How long has it been anyway? If you don't mind my asking…"

"I _do _mind actually. I'd rather retain _some_ of my tattered dignity, if it's all the same to you." He sighed, and then his voice softened some as he continued "I don't mind that you touch me Tamara. Don't misunderstand. It'd be a tremendous loss if you stopped at this point."

"Well, that's good" she giggled. "Because I don't think I could stop now if I tried."

In the morning when she was getting ready to take a shower Tamara laughed out loud when she saw the large, dark bruise on the side of her neck.

Giggling, she said to her own reflection in the mirror "When I gave the man a hickey I never suspected that one day he would return the favor!"

She wore a silk scarf for a few days to hide it from the students and other faculty, but every time Severus looked at the scarf he would get a very strange look on his face and suddenly suffer a coughing fit.


	18. Decrees and Deviousness

The situation with Delores Umbridge, as everyone expected, continued to escalate. Poor Sybil Trelawney was dismissed from her position, and narrowly escaped being evicted from the Hogwarts grounds altogether. Dumbledore stepped in on her behalf at the last minute, and it was a good thing, because he narrowly averted a potentially very nasty squabble between Minerva McGonagall and The Pink Toad (as Tam had taken to calling Umbridge).

"I'll never forget the look on poor Sybil's face" Tam lamented to Severus that night in the potions lab, where he was simultaneously brewing headache potion for the hospital wing and grading some first year essays. "It was tragic."

"Mmm. I'm sure it was, however, we must be honest and admit that…"

"No!" she interrupted. "Don't even say it. Sybil's… different, and probably… well, not really much of a… It doesn't matter. Once in a while she really _does_ produce a prophecy, and as I understand it, when she does there are some real doozies. Besides that, most of the students like her and she's nice. A bit clueless, but nice."

He smiled as he marked his current essay with a "T" for Troll. "Only you would confuse being _nice_ with being _qualified_. Make no mistake; she is here because of those _doozies_ you just mentioned. Dumbledore's no fool."

"No, but he's not one to chuck people out on their arses either. He's a good man. Unlike the damn stupid Minister and that… that… _creature _that he has unleashed on us. I cannot stand that woman. She was ready to pounce on Minerva again and I swear Sev I would've…"

Severus' eyes snapped up to meet hers and his look was deadly serious. "You would have kept your mouth shut and let McGonagall handle her own affairs. She is more than capable, I assure you. As a reminder, you are expected by Dumbledore… and by _me_ to stay out of that woman's way. If the rest of us get ousted it will be on your shoulders to stay here on behalf of the Order. Don't let your personal opinions get in the way."

Tam snickered. "Yes sir" she mumbled sarcastically, earning her an amused eye roll from Severus.

Suddenly something on his desk caught her eye. It was a small bottle of wine, and there was a note attached. Feeling a hint of jealous curiosity Tam nonchalantly picked it up to read the note.

"I forgot to thank you for that" he said. "So… thank you."

"What?"

A look at the note made her jaw drop. It was written in her handwriting and it said:

_I found this in Hogsmeade and thought of you. Hope you like it. __Love, Tamara_

"Sev… that's not from me. I wish I could say it was because it's a damn good idea, but it's not. I didn't write that."

He set down his quill and snatched the bottle from her. Standing abruptly he uncorked the bottle and took a deep sniff. His eyes narrowed.

"There is usually at least one a year" he sighed. "The worst part is that they are always in my own house. I respect their ambition but I'd prefer they put it towards _earning _better grades than… trying to extort them."

"What? What the hell is in it?"

Smirking he held the bottle out to her. "Sniff it and tell me what it smells like."

Tamara smelled the liquid and laughed. "That's weird; it smells like almond Castille soap and your potions cupboard. In other words, it smells like _you_. How'd they do that?"

She had never seen a bigger grin on his face than this one. She thought to herself that most people who'd met him wouldn't believe him capable of such an expression.

"It's Amortentia" he explained. "A very dangerous love potion that smells different to everyone." He chuckled deviously. "According to what attracts them the most."

She felt her face get hot and knew she was blushing. "Cute" she mumbled.

"Yes. Incidentally… to me it smells differently than it used to." Suddenly he got a faraway look in his eyes, and she grabbed his sleeve.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that it's changed."

Tam turned her head to hide her smile. It was the Mystery Woman he was referring to. She had deduced over the years from his actions and comments that there had once been another woman who had captured the attention of Severus Snape. By all appearances, other than Tam herself, this person had been the _only_ one who had ever caught his eye in such a way. There were some small clues to her identity, and Tamara hoped to one day put them all together to find the answer that he would never reveal. Who was she?

She was the one who had called him "Sev" and she had not returned his amorous feelings. She was no longer alive, and her passing had broken his heart even more than her rejection had. That was all Tam knew, and even that had taken years of careful listening and watching to dig up. The Mystery Woman was, as far as Tam could tell, his most guarded secret.

"Can you find out who did this?" she asked him. "Honestly it scares me to death because you actually believed it was from me. This could have ended very badly."

He snickered. "I smell everything I consume, regardless of who it comes from. I would not willingly drink Amortentia even for you, I'm afraid, so you needn't worry. I certainly can and _will_ find out who is responsible however, and you can be certain they will wish they had never imagined such a stunt."

"Good. Whichever little tramp thought it was ok to mess with you using _me_ as bait has some retribution coming from my way as well. Once I know who it is I'll know what I can do about it."

Severus smiled at her loyalty. "That I can't wait to see."

He did in fact find out who did it and it was, as he had expected, a Slytherin girl. She was a seventh year who he had denied for N.E.W.T. potions and his best guess was that her motive had been revenge. At Tamara's suggestion, Severus told the Headmaster what had happened and requested he summon the guilty party to his office, where he and Tamara would also be waiting.

When the girl came in her phony innocent expression immediately turned to terror. No one could glare like Severus but Tam was so infuriated by what this brat had tried to pull that she was almost as scary looking as he was.

The Headmaster did most of the talking, and the girl was to be sent home for the remainder of the year. That meant that rather than graduating she would have to return to Hogwarts in the fall to start her final year over.

Dumbledore then informed her that she needed to apologize to her professors.

The girl, Elora Linwood was her name, approached Tamara first. It was painfully clear that she had avoided looking at Severus since she'd entered the room, and now she was putting off speaking to him.

"I'm sorry Miss Brookes" she said, barely more than a whisper.

Tam smirked. "I'll just bet you are. Not sorry enough though. If it had been up to me to decide your fate you'd be expelled altogether rather than being allowed to come back next year." She shook her head, rage building up in her heart all over again at this twit's brazen attack on _her_ Severus. "You're also lucky I'm a teacher because if I weren't I would personally kick your bony little ass."

Severus snorted and Dumbledore coughed.

"Your head of house hates to see a Slytherin fail" Tam informed the girl. "That's what saved you."

Elora finally dared to look over at the Potions Master. "I'm sorry sir" she mumbled. "I really only meant to… embarrass you. I thought that making you… well I know you're friends with her sir, so I thought that if you suddenly thought you were in love with her it would be… well, funny."

His eyes immediately shot over to Tamara and her jaw dropped.

"With_ her_?" Severus asked. "You made the potion so that it would focus my affections on Miss Brookes?"

The girl nodded sheepishly. "Yes. I saw you had several long brown hairs stuck to your robes one evening when you came into the common room. I knew they had to be hers, and that's when I got the idea. I called the hairs to me and used them to focus the potion. I really didn't mean any harm to you sir, just… I was angry over not getting into Advanced Potions."

Severus opened his mouth to say something to her but he closed it again and shook his head when he realized he had absolutely no idea _what_ to say. That was a rare occurrence in his life. He looked again at Tam.

Her voice squeaked a bit when she spoke. "You can't just go around playing with someone's emotions like that" she said. "Those sorts of potions are dangerous."

"Yes they are" added the Headmaster. "There is good reason why they are not allowed at Hogwarts. I do hope that you have learned your lesson Miss Linwood."

The girl nodded, and Tamara thought she did look quite penitent. She felt a bit less outraged now that she knew that potion hadn't been meant to make Severus obsessed with a student to try to ruin him. She knew she shouldn't let the fact that it was meant to attract him to her make any difference, but it was still a relief.

Shortly after the incident with the Amortentia Severus informed Tam that Harry Potter and his friends were holding their own Defense Against the Dark Arts classes in secret. Well, it was _supposed _to be a secret but the Order was aware. Mundungus Fletcher in disguise had overheard them in the Hog's Head discussing it.

"Just as arrogant as his father" Severus grumbled, irritated at Harry's presumption that he could teach his peers.

Tam rolled her eyes. "As always, we must agree to disagree on that subject Severus. Harry's probably just doing it because he's the only one who can. I say good for them! They've got to know how to defend themselves and the Pink Toad certainly isn't going to teach them. Hexed or not, at this point I really do wish you had that damned job."

He smirked, pleased that she had finally come around to his way of thinking on the matter.

Umbridge's Educational Decrees kept cropping up on the walls like some sort of invasive poisonous weed, further oppressing both students and staff. It seemed there was now a rule for nearly everything, or rather _against_ nearly everything. It was getting more ridiculous by the day.

One thing that made Tamara feel good was that Umbridge still hadn't managed to catch Harry's underground DADA class, as much as she was trying to. That was a great victory in itself. Much to Tam's annoyance, Umbridge had recruited several ambitious Slytherins into her "Inquisitorial Squad." She wished that Severus could have forbidden them from participating without sticking his own neck out. The Order needed him here too much to risk it.

Late one night she was snuggled up to her friend on the sofa in his sitting room, listening to him read aloud from an old potions book, when McGonagall, clad in her nightclothes and dressing gown, came banging at the door. Startled, Severus had tipped Tamara off of him onto the floor.

Tam watched his back curiously as he spoke with Minerva.

"Severus, the Headmaster needs to see you in his office right away."

Taking only a few minutes to put his frock coat back on over the white button-down he'd been wearing, he told Tamara he'd be back when he could, and headed off to meet with Dumbledore.

Tam was asleep, still on the sofa, several hours later when he returned. She woke as he carried her into his bedroom.

"What was that all about?" she mumbled.

"Arthur Weasley was attacked on guard duty tonight."

Tam gasped. "Arthur! Oh no! Is he all right?"

"Yes. He was reached in time. Potter had a nightmare about the attack and thankfully went straight to the Headmaster. It seems the vision came directly from the Dark Lord's mind." He paused as he set her down on the bed. "Dumbledore had told me that I'd need to start teaching the boy Occlumency but after this incident he doesn't think it wise to wait anymore. He's right, of course, as much as I do not relish the task. We started tonight."

She sighed. "What in the hell have you all been so carefully guarding anyway?"

He sat down next to her and looked at her thoughtfully. She could tell he was inwardly debating on whether or not to answer her question. Finally he nodded as he came to his decision.

"It is a prophecy in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry. It has to do with the Dark Lord and his relationship to young Mr. Potter. It contains information that the Dark Lord wants that he must _not_ get. Arthur was on guard tonight when Nagini was sent to scout out the territory. He's lucky to be alive."

Tam's eyes were big as dinner plates. He had told her enough about Voldemort's giant pet snake for her to understand the seriousness of the situation. "Oh bloody hell…"

He nodded again. "Indeed. They'll have to keep him from bleeding to death until they can work out a cure for the poison. Frankly I'd love to try my own hand at it if it wouldn't severely jeopardize my position with the Dark Lord. There is an immense amount of dark magic within that animal."

"Do his children know?"

"Yes. They're on their way to Grimmauld Place right now by portkey." He looked tired, and was obviously frustrated, and she was pretty sure she knew the reason why.

"How did it go with Harry?" she asked quietly, bracing herself for his reaction.

"Impossible!" he spat. "The boy wasn't even trying. Lazy and full of himself just like his father! I told the Headmaster he should try to teach the boy himself because the spoiled little swine certainly has never listened to me. He's afraid of attracting the Dark Lord's attention to his relationship with Potter so he's trying to keep his distance."

Tamara laid her head back onto Sev's pillow. "What a mess" she mused.


	19. Jingle Spells

_Some things in this chapter I have written by combining information from both the book and the film. I did this because I think that some things the film left out are obviously important and I didn't want to ignore them. I hope everyone's enjoying what I have so far! It's lots of fun to write and I am trying to get as much posted as I can. This is a short chapter but more is on its way. _

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><p>When Severus found out that Tam intended to spend Christmas at Grimmauld Place he was, as she had expected, less than pleased. Not wanting to admit that he gave a damn about any holiday, he didn't say anything directly. Instead, he sulked for days, scowling more than usual and handing out several extra detentions.<p>

As she packed to leave he paced in her sitting room, glaring at the furniture.

"You could come along you know" she suggested, even though she knew he would rather eat his boots than spend Christmas in the home of Sirius Black.

He let out a bitter bark of laughter. "I think not. Besides, I plan to enjoy a brief respite from your endless pestering."

She opened her mouth to tell him off for being mean but shut it again when she saw the look on his face. He was already sorry for saying it, she could tell.

Tam sighed and went over to hug him. "I'm going to miss you too and you know it. I just feel bad that Sirius has to be so isolated, and I want to see everybody." She suddenly laughed. "It's only a few days and we act like it's an eternity. You realize how silly that is right?"

In spite of his annoyance, he smirked. "I suppose it is."

Looking serious again she said "Listen, if something happens or you need me for anything don't hesitate to send an owl or even to come and get me. I mean it. I don't want to hear that…"

He rolled his eyes and interrupted "Yes, yes mummy. I will be sure and let you know if I get any boo boos that need kissed better. Now go on and leave me here to languish alone while you visit with your Gryffindors."

Knowing that he was teasing, she laughed. "Oh all right, I will then! They aren't all Gryffindors by the way…"

"Tonks doesn't count. I actually _like_ her."

She laughed harder. "You like the Weasleys too, even if you don't admit it."

When Tam arrived at Grimmauld Place she found everyone putting up Christmas decorations. Harry, Ron, and the Weasley kids were already there, having gone after Arthur's attack, and Hermione had passed up a skiing trip with her parents to join them as well.

Sirius was singing Christmas carols, and thrilled to see him so happy, Tamara joined in. Harry grinned at them as Sirius put his arm around Tam and they both sang an obnoxiously loud version of "Jingle Spells" and a tune that the twins wrote for them called "Voldy Got Run Over By a Reindeer."

"You really went all out for this holiday didn't you Sirius?" Tam chuckled, seeing the stuffed house elf heads adorned with Father Christmas hats and beards. "The fairies in the tree are a nice touch too."

He grinned and winked at her.

Arthur got out of the hospital in time for Christmas dinner, his injuries finally cured. Apparently the healers had worked out an antidote for Voldemort's snake. Tam sent an owl to Severus to let him know. She knew he'd want to find out as much about that antidote as possible now that one existed, and she also knew that he'd be pleased that Arthur was well again, even if he would likely never say so.

Tam kept trying to ambush Remus and Tonks by making mistletoe appear above their heads whenever they were anywhere near each other. She didn't have any success with getting them to kiss but she did manage to make Tonks blush as brightly as her hair and she earned herself several very exasperated looks from Remus.

"Stop it" he whispered to her, dragging her into the kitchen.

Tam giggled. "Why? I'm trying to help you."

She looked up at him and saw he was grinning as well as blushing furiously, and she couldn't help but laugh.

When Tamara and the kids returned to school from Christmas holiday Severus had to immediately continue on again with Harry's occlumency lessons. He was, of course, less than thrilled. Tam knew from what she had overheard at Grimmauld Place that Harry wasn't any happier about it.

She'd been waiting for Severus in his quarters when he came back from their lesson, and his expression alarmed her. He looked shell-shocked, and he didn't speak.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked. "You look like Umbridge flashed you or something."

He did not laugh. He merely dropped into his favorite chair and stared forward silently.

With a dramatic eye roll and a sigh Tam headed for the door. "Guess I'll have to go find Harry…"

"No!" he said finally, his voice commanding that she obey. "The boy's lessons have come to an end."

"I thought you said he wasn't making any progress?"

"He made progress tonight" he growled. "He managed a protective spell that sent my legilimency spell right back at me."

Tamara bit her lip. "Oh. I see. I take it he saw something that he wasn't supposed to?" she asked meekly.

He nodded, and his eyes glittered hatefully in the firelight. "He saw what you did, a few years back. The only bright side is that now he knows just what his precious father was capable of."

She really wasn't sure what to say to him. She felt sorry that he'd been humiliated all over again, but she was also sorry for Harry. She knew that it would not have been easy for him to witness his father relentlessly tormenting a fellow student and showing said student in his underwear to half the school. It was all the worse that the student had grown up into one of Harry's teachers.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to. You weren't cruel to him were you?"

Severus glared at her in disbelief. "Whose bloody side are you on woman?" he demanded. "_Such_ an invasion of privacy! From _his_ son, no less! It was like living it all over again. It has taken years and years of very great effort to create the… the…"

She knew what he was trying to say, but did not share his aversion to calling it what it was.

"The mask?" she suggested. "Image? Persona? I can go on."

He glared even fiercer. "Call it what you like" he snarled. "It was very carefully constructed and now if he runs around telling all of his little friends the tale of Snivellus Greasy in his underpants it'll all be for nothing. I'll be a laughingstock _again_."

Hearing that name, the one the little brats had all been chanting at the time of the offence in question, made Tam's heart ache for him. She dropped into his lap and squeezed him hard. Her first impulse was to say that she was _so_ very sorry that he had endured such a thing, but she knew he would not respond well to pity.

"They were rotten little bastards" she said instead. "And it drove them crazy that you were their superior in every way."

"Oh? You think so do you? Perhaps we should share that opinion with your dear friend Black?"

Tam gave him a fearful look.

He snickered bitterly. "I thought not." Seeing her agitation he sighed, and his expression softened a bit. "Thank you for at least saying it to me" he muttered.

"I do mean it" she whispered, letting her lips gently brush his ear. He shivered at the tickle. Out loud she said "Harry won't say anything to anyone. Don't worry about that. He doesn't like you but I don't think he'd do anything that cruel to anyone. Besides, I'm sure he's more horrified by James Potter's behavior than taking any joy from it. Remus says James matured as he grew up Sev. I don't think he would have…."

He stiffened and she stopped talking. "Don't defend him."

Tam shook her head. "I'm not." She squeezed him tighter. "My loyalty is with you. Don't forget that."

"Is it? Is it with me or with Lupin and Black? You chose to spend your holiday with them, after all, and you won't tell them that you think me superior. You'll say it to me but you would rather face a cruciatus curse than ever admit it to them. You're perfectly content to play both sides and pretend that what they did to me is forgivable because they're all grown up now. I ask you though; do you really think Black regrets any of it?"

She groaned at being stuck in the middle of the old Hogwarts class of '78 feud yet again. "I don't know Severus. I really don't know. I think he does, honestly. You two aren't pals but I don't think he'd really want to do that to you again at this point."

"Because he knows I'd kill him" he interrupted.

She giggled. "Well, yes, that and because it's not exactly civilized now is it? Regardless, I have always made it very clear to all parties that I do not condone anyone disrespecting you. I had my wand aimed at him this summer for crying out loud! I just wish you'd stop with this business of wanting me to take sides. The side I'm on is the one that's fighting against Voldemort, and I was under the impression that you, Sirius, Remus, Harry, and James himself, before he died, were all members of that particular club as well."

"Don't say his name" he chided, but she could tell he was done arguing with her for the evening.

"Remus and Sirius say that we _should _say his name to show that we aren't afraid of him…"

He cut her off. "You _should_ be afraid of him. As one who has seen up close just what he is capable of I can tell you that with great confidence."

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><p><em>I think I might have to try to come up with some lyrics for "Voldy Got Run Over By a Reindeer" because the title gave me the giggles.<em>


	20. Padfoot

_I didn't think I would, but I actually cried writing this chapter! It's funny how even though I've read and watched the deaths of certain characters hundreds of times it still can bring the tears when I least expect it._

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><p>Tamara was in the middle of teaching a class of first years when Severus swept into the room. All the kids went silent and stared at him in terror, which made Tam chuckle.<p>

"Miss Brookes, I need to speak with you for a moment alone" he said. She could tell he was upset by something.

She stepped out into the corridor with him and he began immediately.

"The Headmaster has gone. _She_ finally caught Potter and his little gang and naturally it was all blamed on Dumbledore. The Minister himself showed up with aurors to arrest him but he couldn't allow that, of course. He's left."

Tam groaned.

"It gets worse" he warned. "McGonagall was stunned in the fray and has had to be taken to St. Mungo's. We're on our own I'm afraid."

"Minerva! They hurt her? Ooh I swear…"

He gestured for her to be quiet. "She will recover. There's nothing to be done about it now. We've got to keep eyes and ears open and keep track of Potter. I can reach the Headmaster if I need to but _she _is in charge now so we'll have to be more careful than ever to stay out of her way."

"I hate that nasty little…"

Severus gave her a stern look and she shut up.

"Keep control of your emotions Tamara" he reminded her. "Now get back to your class and we will talk later."

Tam's desire for revenge on Umbridge was satisfied on the day of the O.W.L. exams. Fred and George Weasley, finally having had their fill of the new Hogwarts regime, took their leave from the school in a most spectacular manner. They flew in on brooms, setting off a slew of magical fireworks in the middle of the exams, creating havoc and destruction as they went. Some students came dashing to Tam's room afterwards to fill her in on how the giant firework dragon had chased the nasty hag right out of the exam room and knocked all of her "Educational Decrees" right off of the walls. Tamara was terribly sorry she'd missed it.

Not much later she found a very concerned Severus in his office. He told her that he had to get into contact with Sirius Black immediately. Apparently Harry had been caught trying to use the floo in Umbridge's office and sent for Snape to fetch her some Veritaserum. He lied, of course, and told her that she'd already used up all he had. Desperate, Harry had called out to him that "He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!"

Severus thankfully did manage to reach Sirius, and he was in fact safe at home. What that meant for Harry though, they weren't sure. Severus assumed that it had to be something the Dark Lord had planted in his head to lure him to where the prophecy was. When he tried to find Potter though, he was dismayed to learn that Umbridge had taken him and Granger out into the forest.

When they didn't return Severus alerted the Order, and got word to Dumbledore.

"Harry's gone after Sirius hasn't he?" Tam asked nervously. "Of course he has" she answered her own question. "It's his Godfather and he loves him. I don't blame him a bit but I wish he could see it was a trap."

Severus didn't speak. He didn't want to upset her with his rather less generous appraisal of the situation.

"I wonder what in the hell they did to Umbridge to get rid of her…" Tam muttered, imagining all sorts of delightfully horrid situations for the now missing woman.

Many hours later a slightly bedraggled looking Dumbledore summoned Severus to his office. He asked that he bring Tamara along as well, which was odd.

The Headmaster, showing his age a bit more than he ever had before, sighed when they came in. "Sit down" he said gravely.

"He didn't get it" he told Severus, causing the younger wizard to release a relieved breath. "It was smashed. I believe Lucius Malfoy will have some explaining to do when he returns to his master."

Severus smirked.

"Harry is safe. He nearly… well, it was a close call." The Headmaster looked up at Tamara for a moment and she saw sadness in his blue eyes.

"Is everyone else ok?" she asked quietly.

"I'm afraid not" he admitted. "There were several injuries, both to the students who went with Harry and also to a few of the Order members." He paused for a moment. "Sirius Black was killed."

At first Tamara wasn't sure she had heard correctly. That just couldn't be. Severus had spoken to him a few hours before and he was just fine, although of course he'd been worried about Harry when he'd heard what was going on… That was it. He'd gone to rescue Harry.

"Sirius?" she squeaked. "He's dead? Really?"

Dumbledore nodded sadly. "Yes, I'm sorry."

Tam started to shake and at once she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind. Severus was all that kept her from hitting the floor. "Oh no…" she whimpered, tears burning in her eyes. Her chest hurt, and she felt like wailing. "No, not Sirius… How?"

"Bellatrix Lestrange" said the Headmaster. "Regrettably, Harry witnessed it. He was here just before you. I'm afraid he isn't taking it well, though I can hardly blame him. If I had handled things better this year I'm sure the outcome could have been much different."

Tamara only half heard him. Her mind was swimming with images of her friend Sirius. The first time she'd met him right here in this very office, joking around over the summer, how kind he'd been to her when she was worried about Severus… singing at Christmas. Now Remus had lost another best friend, and poor Harry had lost the closest thing to real family that he had. She felt like throwing up.

"Severus perhaps you should take Miss Brookes for a lie down" Dumbledore suggested softly.

The next thing Tamara knew Severus was leading her down the spiral stone steps from the Headmaster's office. He was still holding onto her, which was good, because she knew if he let go she'd just sink to the floor and stay there.

He took her to his quarters instead of hers, knowing that she preferred being there, and curled up with her in his bed. She cried into his chest and he held her tight, feeling rather choked up himself. Black was not his friend, but he hadn't _really _wished the man dead. Tamara's heartbreak hurt him, and he found that he actually felt quite sorry for the loss that would be felt by the entire Order.

"I'm very sorry about your friend" he whispered. "I should have done something to prevent him going when I had the chance."

She shook her head, her face still pressed against him. "There's nothing you could have done. He would've gone after Harry no matter what. He died fighting. Poor Harry must feel terrible." A frightening thought made her pull away from Severus and sit up. "I forgot to ask Dumbledore if Remus is ok! Tonks went too, what if she's hurt?"

He gently pulled her back down into his arms. "I'm sure they're all right. Albus would have said so if they were not."

Giving in, Tam slid her arms around him and settled her head onto his chest. She fell asleep remembering Sirius' laugh.

Tamara sought out Harry a few days later. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say to him so she waited until he was alone and just gave him a hug. She knew he'd been hearing how sorry everyone was about his Godfather and felt like there was no point in repeating it to him again.

"He loved you very much" she whispered. "And he was _so_ proud of you. I know he's still watching over you. We'll miss him."

He didn't say anything.

Getting ready to leave for the summer was even more dreadful to her than usual. There just didn't seem to be anything to look forward to anymore. Everyone she cared about was living in danger and now that death had hit so close to home it made her worry about them all the more.

It was satisfying that Minister Fudge had finally seen for himself that Voldemort had returned. Tam was glad the silly bugger had decided to resign. Welcoming Minerva back from St. Mungo's was a wonderful feeling, and being rid of Delores Umbridge was absolute bliss.

In spite of those little victories, the future was so uncertain that it was hard to celebrate. She'd wanted to stay with Severus over the summer but he told her that she couldn't. The Dark Lord unfortunately had made some plans for him that would make it impossible.

Saying goodbye had been harder this time than ever before. She knew she would spend the summer wondering when and if she would see him again, as well as worrying about everyone else. He suggested to her that perhaps she should return to the U.S. where it was safer and she'd told him that he'd better not ever say such a thing to her again.


	21. Pining In the Moonlight

The summer was a dark one. Sirius' death had struck a severe blow to the morale of the Order. Tam found herself spending quite a bit of her time with Tonks, trying to lift her spirits. Remus had told her that there was no chance for them. He was more convinced than ever that he must not burden her with his condition, and he was of the opinion that starting a relationship in such uncertain times was completely out of the question. Tonks was heartbroken.

"I love him Brookesy. I really do. I don't care that he's a werewolf. I can help him, I know it, if he'd just let me!"

Tamara slung an arm around her friend's back. "I know you do honey. He's just scared. I really think he loves you too Dora, honest. That's all the more reason why he's so determined to protect you from… well, from him, I suppose. He means well. Don't give up just yet."

Embarrassed at the tears that were streaming down her face, Tonks brushed them away with the back of her hand. "Look at me, bawling like a bloody schoolgirl."

Tam smiled. "Don't worry, I do that all the time lately" she said. "Not much to be happy about at the moment is there?"

Tonks shook her head. "No there isn't. Have you heard from Snape?"

"He writes when he can. I wanted to go see him but he says I can't because it isn't safe. Apparently he has a death eater houseguest that he can't get rid of. I hate even thinking about it."

"It seems we're in the same boat, you and me" Tonks said, smirking sadly. "Both of us in love with wizards we can't have."

Tam nodded. "We are indeed in the same shitty stinking boat my dear" she joked. "And don't look now, but it's sinking!"

In spite of their mutual depression they could still laugh together.

Tam didn't get to see Remus as much as she would have liked. He was keeping his distance from her too, and his usual sweet and friendly demeanor had hardened considerably since Sirius had been lost. The murder of Emmeline Vance had been another blow to everyone, and it was getting harder and harder to keep hope.

The meetings that Tam attended were awkward and horribly uncomfortable. Tonks was a mess anytime she had to be around Remus and he was visibly on edge in her presence as well. Knowing him as she did, Tam suspected it was guilt. Everyone else was under the impression that Tonks was upset about Sirius, which of course she was, in addition to her romantic woes.

Severus didn't make it to many meetings anymore, most likely she knew, due to the death eater in his house. As long as he was in communication with Dumbledore it didn't really matter to anyone but Tamara whether he showed up or not. Nevertheless, she always waited and hoped. Sometimes she'd catch Molly Weasley watching her sympathetically.

"He'll turn up if he can" she'd whisper. "He's all right, just… busy, that's all."

One good thing that was happening at least was the opening of the Weasley twins' joke shop on Diagon Alley. Nobody was sure where they'd gotten the money, though Tam had her suspicions, but they had managed to put together a really spectacular shop. Their mother was less than thrilled at first, but even she had to admit they were doing well for themselves. In fact, they were one of the few shops in the alley that still dared to remain open. With death eater attacks on the rise, business was suffering and most of the shop owners didn't deem it worth the risk to be there. Apparently the wizarding community still needed to laugh. Tamara was pleased to count herself as one of their first customers. She had bought a screaming yo-yo for herself and a Box O' Rockets to send to her brother in the U.S.

One evening at the Weasley's Burrow, as they were waiting for a meeting to begin Tam was surprised to hear the voice of Dumbledore himself. The Headmaster hadn't come alone. Minerva McGonagall peeked into the living room where Tamara and Tonks were passing a bottle of cheap wine back and forth.

"Minnie!" Tam called teasingly. "How are you?"

Her older friend chuckled and shook her head. "Satisfactory I suppose" she said, coming to sit between them on the sofa.

Tonks offered her the bottle and the deputy Headmistress smirked as she took it. "Don't tell" she said quietly.

"Sure, as long as you don't tell on us" Tonks snickered.

"These days no one could pass up an occasional pick-me-up" Minerva mused, carefully wiping her mouth with her fingers and handing the bottle to Tamara.

Tam was mid-swig when she saw Tonks looking at her with a sly expression. A glance at the doorway told her why. Apparently Minerva hadn't been the only professor that the Headmaster had brought with him.

Tam choked on the nasty wine and he smirked at her.

"Nice to see you too" he drawled, dark eyes glittering mischievously. "Having a party?"

Still coughing a bit she said "You caught us, but it was all Min's idea." She set the bottle in Minerva's lap, earning her a swat in the shoulder from her colleague.

"Nonsense! If I had brought the libations they'd be of far better quality" McGonagall argued, flashing Tamara a naughty little smile. "Where did you get this anyway?" She eyed the bottle with obvious disgust.

"The muggle petrol station up from Tam's place" Tonks admitted, grinning. "I had to pay with muggle money and the clerk thought I was mental 'cause I couldn't make heads nor tails of it!"

Tam giggled when she saw Severus rolling his eyes.

"A thrilling adventure I'm sure" he said, slowly making his way into the room. "Tamara, might I have a word with you outside?"

"Of course." She stood up so fast her bottom could have had springs on it. Tonks snickered and Minerva turned her head to hide her smile.

Once they were out in the night air Tam turned to speak and was caught off guard when he yanked her into a crushing embrace.

"Oh" she squeaked. "Hi!"

He didn't say anything but he buried his face in her hair.

"And here I thought you didn't miss me at all" she teased.

"You were mistaken."

She giggled. "Apparently." She squeezed him right back and gave his neck a light kiss. "I missed you too. I suppose it's too much to hope that your company has vacated the premises?"

"Sadly, we are not so lucky" he said grudgingly. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait for our return to Hogwarts to be blessed once more with the joy of my company."

"I know you're teasing me but I really do find you a joy" she admitted.

"I've always known there was something very strange about you" he replied, still talking into her hair.

When he finally let her go she knew it was time to ask him some questions. "So what's brought our great leader into our midst?"

"He's here to talk about the latest attacks and to let the Weasley's know that at some point Potter will be coming here to stay this summer. "

"Don't you have to get back in then?"

Severus looked amused. "Tired of me already?"

"No! I just thought…."

"Truthfully I didn't come here out of necessity. Dumbledore knows everything that I needed to tell him. For me this is actually a social call." He seemed to consider something for a moment and then added "But nobody else needs to know that, if you don't mind."

"No problem."

They ended up taking a walk in the moonlight. The moon was full, which was why Remus was not in attendance, and looking up at it, Tam hoped that he was safe.

"Sev, did you make any…"

"Wolfsbane potion this month? Yes, as always. As long as he remembers to take it he should be just fine. As fine as he could possibly be under the circumstances, anyway. You doubt me?"

Tamara shook her head. "No, I'm just a worrywart. I don't want to see any more friends lost, even though I know it's probably inevitable that we'll lose more before it's all said and done. Not Remus though, Tonks and I would both die if anything happened to him. I'm sure you heard about Emmeline?"

His hand twitched hard in hers and thought she saw him shudder a bit. "Yes, I did" he said quietly.

"Which side did you hear it from? The ones who did it or the ones who are mourning it?" She wasn't trying to be unkind but she was wondering if the death eaters were proud of themselves.

"Both" he admitted. "However, I'd prefer it if we didn't talk about that this evening. I came here to see you, not to keep wallowing in my miserable duties."

"Sorry Sweet." She dropped down into the grass and tugged his hand so he would sit with her. "You're right. Let's not think about it anymore, just for a little while."

He nodded and surprised her by lying down in the grass with his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair the way she knew he liked. They stayed that way for quite a while, not speaking. Enjoying the lovely sensations she was making on his scalp and the soft warmth of her lap as a pillow, Severus nearly fell asleep.

"Ah, Severus, there you are" said Dumbledore's voice from behind them.

Severus leapt to his feet so abruptly that Tam thought he could have been a gymnast. She snickered, knowing he was embarrassed to be caught in such a position by his employer. He jerked his head to get his hair out of his eyes and she got a warm feeling inside. He was so darn _cute_ when he did that.

"Hello Albus!" she said, smiling up at the Headmaster. He held out his hand to help her up.

"Hello Tamara! It is nice to see you outside of the walls of Hogwarts for once. I see Severus has been well tended while I was busy inside."

Tam grinned and Severus glared, which just made her grin harder, naturally. McGonagall came up behind Dumbledore and it became obvious that they were about to leave.

"I do hate to take him from you but I'm afraid I must. As usual, I have a task for him."

Tam nodded, even though her throat felt like it was closing. There was never enough time lately. At least the Headmaster really did look sorry about it.

Severus was stone-faced and didn't react.

"We'll give you a moment to say farewell for now." He offered his arm to McGonagall and they disappeared with a pop.

Now that they were alone again Severus wrapped Tam in another hug.

"I'll try to write" he promised. "It's best if you send your replies to Dumbledore and he can pass them along to me. Sending anything to my house at present would be a very bad idea. My _guest_ is nosey."

"Ok" she said, breathing in as much of his scent as she could. "Be careful Sweet. I'll be thinking of you."

"I am always careful" he said, sounding a bit indignant. "I'll see you as soon as I can. If you find yourself in any trouble…" he touched her necklace.

"I know, I know" she laughed.

When she and Tonks left the Burrow that night they stopped for a few more bottles of wine.

Tam's next trip to the Burrow was for Harry's sixteenth birthday party, as by now he was there for the remainder of the summer. She went with Remus, as Tonks had declined to attend. She'd said she couldn't get away from the Auror office but Tam knew better.

Afterwards, back at Tam's flat in London, she took the opportunity to have a little heart to heart with Lupin.

"It's a shame Dora didn't make it today" she said casually as she handed him a cup of tea.

He nodded. "Yes. The Aurors are kept busy lately."

"She's been a bit under the weather. Have you noticed?"

He gave her a _look_ and she sighed.

"Oh I know, I know, I ought to mind my own business" she snickered. "But when have I ever been very good at doing that?"

He smiled fondly at her. "Not since I've known you. Listen Tam, I know that… I know that she thinks very highly of me, though I don't understand at all why." He looked suddenly quite miserable. "The feeling is… well, it _is_ mutual you know."

"I knew it!" she laughed.

"Yes, well, that is entirely beside the point. I'm an old, skint, werewolf and she is a young, vibrant, talented witch who has such a bright future ahead of her. Even in the best of times it would be dreadfully unfair of me to expect her to endure the sort of life she'd have with me. Now, with Voldemort poised to crush all we hold dear, I think it would be extraordinarily foolish and frankly, quite cruel of me to even consider it."

"Have you seen her lately?" Tam asked, looking irritated. "_Frankly_, I think pushing her away when you _do_ love her too is a lot more cruel and unfair. She knows what your condition means and she loves you all the more for it because you're _so_ strong to endure it all. She just wants to be there with you. Everyone is in such peril and we're watching our friends die and always in the back of my mind I'm knowing that he could die and we've never even been able to really say what we feel…" she stopped, realizing that she wasn't only talking about Remus and Tonks anymore.

Remus smiled at her sympathetically. "Are we still talking about my love life or have we moved onto yours?"

She sighed. "Apparently we're working on both now. It's the same isn't it? You want to protect her because you love her and he wants to protect me…"

"Because he loves you?" He looked terribly amused and it made her want to smack him.

"I don't know. Maybe. He doesn't say."

"Have _you_ said?" he asked. "Have you told him how you feel?"

Tam shook her head. "No. Well, sort of. He knows I'd like to be with him, but I haven't said that big L word. I feel it, and I've known it for a long time now, but I just don't dare say it I guess. I'm scared all the time that I may never get the chance. If Voldemort ever finds out what he's really doing he's a dead man. Honestly, even the slightest mistake or catching that evil bastard in the wrong mood could mean Sev's death. Every time I'm with him I feel like we're wasting what could turn out to be the only time we could have had to love each other. I know Dora feels the same way about you. I love you both and I know how she's feeling and if you feel that way too you _have_ to embrace it Remus. Embrace her!"

He put an arm around her shoulder and rested his head against hers. "I'll think on it. I promise. In the meantime, when you see her… could you look after her for me? Try to boost her spirits? I hate knowing that I'm the cause of her sadness."

She kissed his cheek. "Of course I will."


	22. I Won't Lie

When she arrived at Hogwarts for the start of the year Tamara was disheartened by Severus' darkened demeanor. He was much quieter than he had been the last time she'd seen him and he looked tired. Of course, when she asked him what had happened he simply ignored her.

At the welcoming feast that night Tam watched with interest as the Headmaster introduced Horace Slughorn… and nearly spit her pumpkin juice across the table when she heard that he was to resume his old position as _Potions Master_! Tam looked at Severus with wide eyes, and he smirked.

When Dumbledore added that the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher would be filled by Professor Snape Tam felt an odd mixture of elation on his behalf and absolute terror that something bad might happen to him. Only the Slytherins clapped for him which irritated Tam, so, giving him her brightest grin, she made sure she clapped extra hard. She was tempted to let out a loud whistle but she knew he'd be furious so she fought the urge. He stared forward sternly, as if the new job made no difference to him, but she knew better.

This year the Headmaster's opening speech to the students was a warning of what sort of threat the school was faced with and a reminder that they themselves could be used as weapons by the enemy if they weren't careful. It was very true, but also quite depressing.

Later on, as soon as Tam closed the door behind her to Severus' quarters she started squealing and hopping up and down. In spite of all the trouble and darkness she still felt that her favorite person deserved a bit of celebrating.

Expecting her, he had a bottle of elf-made wine in a bucket of ice next to the sofa and he held a glass out to her. When she was done hopping she took it from him, careful not to spill any on him when she gave him a hug. She knew very well that she was probably the only person on the planet that he would ever tolerate such ridiculous behavior from.

"Well, you finally got it" she said.

He smirked. "Yes. It only took me fifteen years."

Tam giggled. "Well, better late than never right? Any chance of getting your _other_ boss to remove his hex on your job though? I don't want to be a downer but I have to admit I'm a little worried."

"Don't concern yourself. I am more than capable of handling this position." He let his eyes wander over the black dress she was wearing. "That is the least of my worries at the moment."

"I have faith in you Sweet." She saw where he was looking and desperately wanted to throw herself at him but she still just couldn't work up the courage.

A knock at the door startled Tam so much she nearly dropped her wine glass.

Severus closed his eyes and she saw his jaw muscles clenching. He was not pleased by the interruption. Controlling his temper, he went to answer the door. It was a Slytherin prefect.

"Sorry to bother you sir but I caught a group of second year boys out of bed. They were up to something I'm sure…"

"Yes, yes" Severus grumbled. "I'll be right there." He looked at Tamara apologetically and she smiled.

By the time he returned Tam was half asleep on the sofa. He sat down next to her and she shifted so she could put her head in his lap.

"Tamara" he said softly.

"Hmm?"

"You should know… this is going to be a very difficult year. I know it seems obvious, but… things are going to get much worse very soon. I need to tell you this now because there will likely come a time when I won't be able to be here for you anymore and I want you to be prepared."

The sense of unease at Hogwarts this year was the strongest she had ever felt. The death eaters were desperately trying to break through the castle's defenses so there were now aurors on the grounds and the protective wards had been increased. Tam noticed that Severus was taking even more interest in Draco Malfoy than he ever had before, and she was certain there was something involving the boy that had him worried. She hated not knowing, but she respected what he did too much to pry and put more pressure on him than he was already under. Besides, while he was a gifted Occlumens who could hide knowledge from _Him_ she was not, and anything she knew could put her beloved in danger. That she would never risk.

It was odd seeing Horace Slughorn teach potions instead of Severus. Tamara liked the man and enjoyed talking to him but it felt very unnatural to have a different wizard in the potions room. Severus now reigning over the DADA room where Remus had once taught was also strange. Tam felt like she'd stepped into an alternate dimension.

One night after a particularly difficult encounter with the Dark Lord, laying in his bed with his head on her shoulder, Severus said to her "I think if you're ever not here when I get back I shall have a complete tantrum and refuse to participate in another moment of this nonsense."

Tam smiled and kissed his forehead. "Darling, if I'm ever not here when you get back it means I am dead or have been confined against my will."

"What if I never came back?" he asked, not unkindly. "Would you stay here and pine away forever?"

"Yes!" she said sharply. He didn't ask her to explain but she saw that it seemed to make him look even sadder.

Tam made sure she sat in on a few of Severus' DADA classes. She knew he would be in his element and she didn't want to miss it. He didn't disappoint. The only other such classes she'd ever watched had been those taught by Remus three years before, and she had found them both informative and fun. There was no fun to be had in Sev's version, but she was completely enthralled by everything that he had to say. She had to be very careful not to be too obviously impressed however; as she really didn't want the students to see her staring at him like a lovesick teenager.

One winter day Harry, Hermione, and Ron had been heading back from Hogsmeade when they witnessed a friend of theirs, Katie Bell, fall victim to a cursed necklace. Hagrid had come upon them and got the girl back to the castle in time to save her life, and the necklace, after being examined by Severus, was found to have been a potentially very deadly item. A friend of Katie's said that someone had given it to her at the Three Broomsticks and instructed her to give it to the Headmaster, but unfortunately she didn't see who.

When Tamara tried to discuss the matter with Severus after dinner he had clammed up and evaded her questions. It was obvious that someone had been trying to kill Dumbledore with that necklace and it disturbed Tam to no end that the one person who would ordinarily have been the most determined to get to the bottom of the attack was refusing to acknowledge it at all. He was not acting himself this year, and she was getting more and more concerned.

Professor Dumbledore left the castle right before Christmas and though Tamara suspected something was up and that Severus knew what it was, he wouldn't tell her anything. She understood his reasoning on this at least, but it still drove her crazy.

There was one amusing incident when he had gone to Horace Slughorn's Christmas gathering to give a message to Harry Potter from the Headmaster. A Gryffindor boy in Harry's year had thrown up some sort of unpleasant party hors d'oeuvres right onto Severus' boots. He had found the situation much less humorous than Tam did. For some reason that night he was especially on edge and frustrated, and she was quite sure it wasn't just the vomit that had him upset.

Tamara visited the Weasley family at the Burrow over Christmas. Remus and Tonks were there and she was very glad to see them. They seemed to be quite a bit more at ease around each other. She didn't stay long, not wanting to leave Severus alone for the second Christmas in a row. She was horrified when she found later in an owl from Remus that there was a death eater attack on the Weasley family home not long after she had left.

He also informed her in his owl that Harry had overheard Severus tell Draco Malfoy that he'd made an unbreakable vow. That news gave her the chills, but of course when she confronted Severus about it he refused to explain. He had simply stared at her in defiant silence, which was absolutely maddening.

Tamara hoped that by the end of the school year whatever was going on would finally come to a head and be dealt with. Severus got more and more shut up inside himself every day, and it had come to the point where he hardly spoke to her at all. When they were alone, he would lean on her and lay his head against hers, and she'd hold him in silence, but he did not confide in her what was troubling him. She watched it affect him more and more until he had started to walk around looking sick most of the time. She suspected nobody else (except perhaps for Dumbledore himself) had even noticed, but to her it was an obvious and frightening thing to behold.

Feeling helpless, and more and more worried, Tamara decided to go and visit the Headmaster's office. Surely there would be _something _he could say to her, even if he couldn't tell her what was really going on. She was involved in the order, even if she wasn't an official member, and if there was anything she could be doing better to help, she wanted to know what it was.

"Ah, Tamara. Please, come in and sit down" he welcomed her, warm and sweet as usual. Tam had always liked Albus. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

She did her best to smile in spite of her concerns. "I'm here to be a pest, I'm afraid" she warned him.

His blue eyes glittered. "I find that on occasion it is a necessary thing, being a pest" he assured her, smiling. "I promise not to hold it against you. You are, I presume, worried about Severus."

_He always knows _she thought. _He always knows just what is wrong and just what to say_.

"Yes Headmaster, I am. He's… something's going on. I'm sure you know what it is, and I'm sure you can't tell me, but… if there's anything I can do to help him, I'd like to know what."

Dumbledore nodded, and she could tell by his expression that he felt sorry for her. It made her nervous.

"His task is not an easy one, naturally. It is of course, a testament to Severus' strength that one of the most difficult roles in this fight has fallen to him. You may not realize it Tamara, but you are already helping him a great deal. Had you not come into his life, he would still be faced with the same hardships, but would have no one to ease the burden. I didn't expect, when I hired you, that you would come to care for Severus as you do, but I must say I'm glad that you did."

"Thank you sir" she said. "I didn't expect it either to be honest, but I'm thankful every day that it happened the way it did. He means the world to me."

Dumbledore nodded again. "I understand. Unfortunately, the fact that he also cares for you has, in some ways, made his present predicament even harder for him. I don't want you be upset by this, because the good you've done him far outweighs the cost. I only tell you because I feel it will help you to understand a bit better why he is suffering so. I ask you Tamara, to trust Severus, as I do. There may come times when doing so is very difficult for you and you will have to hide your true feelings. Be strong, keep calm, and trust him. He needs you."

Severus did finally confide in Tam that one thing that had been on his mind was the he was quite sure Harry Potter had somehow gained possession of his old school potions book. Apparently he had filled the margins with potions notes and even a few invented spells. Some of them, he admitted, were dangerous to someone who didn't understand what they could do. She told him he should talk to Dumbledore about the matter but he said he didn't want to add to the Headmaster's worries with such an issue and he would deal with Potter on his own in due course. Tamara was tempted to go to Harry herself, partly because she desperately wanted to get a look at that book, but she knew that Severus would be furious with her if she let his secret out, so she didn't.

In her classes Tamara found that she was missing the Weasley twins terribly. Their early departure last year had been something she'd felt sorry about, and now faced with her first year without them she missed their antics and their support.

Faced with Severus' increasingly dark moods, she often ventured out to the Three Broomsticks to get away. Nearly every night Professor Slughorn could be found there and Tam had managed to strike up a bit of a friendship with the older wizard. She suspected he had a bit of a drinking problem, but he was friendly and nice to talk to.

One evening after Horace had returned from Hogsmeade Harry came to his rooms with Ron, who had accidentally fallen under the influence of a love potion. Horace managed to cure the boy, but when he served him some mead poor Ron collapsed. Apparently the mead was poisoned. Horace didn't know who had given it to him, but he had intended to pass it along as a gift to Professor Dumbledore. Another attempt had been made on his life, and once again it had nearly killed a student.

Tam had listened with interest as Slughorn told her the story but she wondered why, when Severus had been informed of the incident and had even gone to the hospital wing with Dumbledore to check on young Mr. Weasley, he had not told her about it himself. Why did he remain so silent with her?

The closer they got to the end of the year the harder it was getting for her to follow Dumbledore's advice. Of course she trusted Severus completely… but that didn't stop her from being disturbed and hurt by the doubts she now had as to whether he still trusted her.

One night, as a storm brewed outside, Tamara stood next to Severus in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom looking out the window. The air was charged with a dark energy. She shivered and he pulled her into his arms and wrapped his robes around them both.

"Kiss me" he whispered, leaning down so she could reach his lips.

She put her hand on his neck and softly pressed her lips to his. They stood there for a while in silence, until finally he let go of her.

"Go to bed" he said quietly. There was a deep sadness in his voice, but also urgency. This was an order, not a request.

"Sev…" she started to protest.

"Tamara… go to bed." He looked down into her eyes and she thought he looked like death. It scared her so much she'd started to shake.

"Ok" she said, fighting back tears. "Severus I love you. I know I've never said so, and I think you probably already know but I need to tell you that now. I love you, and no matter what ever happens I always will. I will always be waiting for you when you return, just as I said."

She stood on her toes and kissed him again lightly before she turned and headed for the door. She didn't do as he had told her. Instead she went to her classroom. She was too nervous to shut herself up in his room, and since she almost never slept in her own anymore there was no point in going there either. She'd lain on top of her piano, and stared at the ceiling.

She wasn't sure how long she'd lain there before she heard the fuss out in the hallways. People were running, and there were excited voices. She could feel fear flowing out of them as they passed the door. Tamara sat up like she was on springs and leapt off of the piano. She ran for the door and shoved out into the crowded hallway.

Of course, when they had managed to get outside, the word spread quickly. The Headmaster was lying dead underneath the Astronomy tower. Nobody knew what had happened, but they suspected murder.

Tam had joined in with those raising their lit wands to the sky in respect to their fallen father. That was what Dumbledore really was, after all. She felt ill, and the tears ran off of her cheeks in a stream. He'd been so kind, and so wise. What would they ever do without him? She wondered where in the hell Severus had gone, and if he was all right. She was squeezing her Slytherin crest with all her might, but there was no sign of him.

Word was that the great hall had been badly vandalized, all the glass blown from the windows and everything smashed. Also, Tam heard to her horror that Hagrid's house had been set ablaze. By all accounts, he was said to be fine, thankfully.

When the moment was over, and some order had returned, Tamara managed to track down Minerva McGonagall. "Oh Min, does anyone know what happened? The students are all talking, but their theories are all guesses at best. Poor Albus!"

McGonagall avoided Tam's eyes. "Miss Brookes, please come to the Headmaster's office with me. You've got a right to know what I've been told but I think we should talk alone."

Minerva has asked her to sit down. Her older friend paced the room, trying to decide how to begin, Tam could tell.

"Where's Severus Min? Ordinarily he'd be right here with you trying to sort all of this out, and I… I have a way to call to him but he won't answer me. He always answers." Her voice was so small and tight she barely recognized it as her own.

McGonagall sighed, and sat down in the chair across from her. "I know that the two of you are close. Honestly Tamara at first I wasn't sure if I should talk to you at all about any of this because I wasn't sure if you were involved with…" she shook her head. "But you really don't know, I can tell. I didn't want to think you would have. It seems he was even better at hiding things than we all thought."

Tam was horribly confused, and the knot of fear in her chest grew by the second.

"Apparently Draco Malfoy was given the task of assassinating the Headmaster" Minerva explained.

"Draco did this?"

"No. As terrible as that would be, it would make things a lot less complicated, to be sure. Mr. Malfoy let some death eaters into the castle, and Harry Potter was in the Astronomy tower with Professor Dumbledore when they came to confront him. The Headmaster ordered Potter to hide himself, and he did. Severus Snape came into the tower, and Potter had assumed that he would step in against the death eaters, but he didn't. I'm told that Mr. Malfoy had begun to lower his wand, apparently unable to carry out the deed that he'd been assigned… and then… Tamara I am sorry to have to tell you this, but it was Professor Snape who cast the killing curse on Albus Dumbledore."

Tam shook her head. "No. That doesn't make any sense." Her hands started to tremble.

"It makes sense if he was in fact working on behalf of _Him_ for all this time instead of on our side. As I said Tamara, I am very sorry, but I think it important for you to know for your own safety. I think it would be wise to go somewhere this summer where you can be protected by the Order, given your circumstances."

Tamara's entire body was shaking now and she felt like she wanted to throw up.

Minerva reached out and touched her hand. "Would you like to talk to Potter? Would it help you to understand?"

Tam shook her head. "No." She knew she could trust Minerva to be honest with her, and she knew that although Harry didn't like Severus he wouldn't make up such a thing. There _had_ to be some sort of mistake and she didn't want to come unglued on poor Harry with all he'd been through tonight already. "Remus. I need to go and find Remus. I'm going to the old headquarters to owl him."

She stood up on shaky knees and went to the fireplace. Grabbing a handful of floo powder she said "12 Grimmauld Place." She landed in the fireplace at the old Black family home, and stepped out. The place was dark and quiet. Tamara went to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Her movements didn't seem to be under her own control, she just moved along like someone under an imperious curse. She would send the owl to Remus, and then wait here in the silence where she didn't have to look at anyone or think too much.

Suddenly she felt something. One skilled at hiding their emotions could escape the notice of an empath easily if the empath weren't terribly well trained at using their gift, and especially if the empath weren't expecting them to be there in the first place. However… if that person, good at hiding or not, was someone so familiar to the empath that "feeling" them came as naturally as breathing…

Tam stood up. She slipped off her shoes, to be as silent as possible. Slowly she walked towards the hallway and then up the stairs. She crept through the hall, desperate to avoid squeaking the old floor boards. She came upon the bedroom of Sirius Black and looked through the door. The intruder had the window open, and was apparently in the process of stepping out.

She grabbed her pendant and squeezed it hard.

He stopped, and after a moment's hesitation came back in through the window and turned around. As she had expected, he looked her right in the eye.

"You didn't come when I called you. You said you always would" she whispered.

He didn't answer.

"Tell me they're wrong Severus" she begged, still whispering, because she couldn't bear the sound of her own anguished voice.

He held her gaze. "I won't lie" he said softly.

She started to shake again, and she thought tears would come, but apparently there weren't anymore to be shed at this point. "Why? Why do that to him? What have they done to you?"

He shook his head sadly. "Don't come looking for me. Leave Britain. Go to your brother's. Forget that you ever knew me."

Suddenly the shaking stopped, and she leveled a glare at him the likes of which he'd never seen. "Like hell I will" she said slowly, menacingly.

"Then I can do no more for you" he said, and he became black shadowy smoke, out the window and flying into the darkness.

Tam stared into the night sky for a while. She had no idea what he had come here for, but it had been smart of him to come (and leave) when he did. The rest of the order was probably just now finding out what had actually happened, and that he had betrayed them. It wouldn't be long before they came here to safe-guard their headquarters against the man who had masqueraded as one of them and then murdered their leader.

_And how did I not know he could fly_?

She was startled out of her thoughts by Remus, who came barging into the room. He grabbed her and hugged her. "McGonagall sent me an owl saying you were coming here, and she wondered if you'd located me yet. I got worried that maybe…"

Tamara patted his arm. "No. I'm fine. He won't come after me."

Tonks came up behind them hugged them both. "He'd bloody well better not, the bastard" she spat.

Tam clung to her friends, glad that they were there. She felt as if the life she had come to know in the last several years had been completely blown to pieces, and Remus and Dora were holding onto to her to keep her from blowing away too.

She stayed in the country long enough to attend Dumbledore's funeral. It was amazing to see the loyalty that was shown to the elderly wizard by so many. Tamara couldn't help but feel a deep guilt for the fact that the one who was most dear to her was the one who had murdered him.

Her mood was lifted a little bit by the fact that Remus and Dora attended the funeral together. When she saw that Tonks' hair was back to its vibrantly colored state and that Remus had her hand clutched in his she grinned at her best girlfriend through her tears. Tonks smiled back.

After the funeral, saying a quiet goodbye to Minerva, and to the Order members that she could pick out of the crowd, she left to return to London. She had packing to do, and a lot of thinking as well.


	23. After Six Whole Years

_This is a longer chapter than what I've been putting up. Thanks for hanging in there with me to those who are following this story. Things are going to heat up a bit and I hope you like it._

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><p>Though her time back in the U.S. had only been two months, it felt like an eternity. She hadn't told Remus (or anyone for that matter) that she had found Severus at Grimmauld Place. She knew he wouldn't go there again, and if he'd taken anything apparently it hadn't been important or they'd have missed it by now. Also… she still had such a nagging <em>uncertainty<em> about it all. He had admitted it to her, and she believed him. In spite of that, there was something that just wasn't sitting right with her. Some piece of the puzzle was still very much missing, and she had decided, during those half-dead summer months that she'd spent in America wallowing in her grief, that she was not going to make her final opinion on the matter until she had found it.

Tamara was not happy about being out of her adopted country. It had crushed her that she couldn't be there to see Remus and Tonks get married. She knew that it had been a very quiet affair but that didn't make it any easier for her to miss it. She'd said a few words out loud to Sirius that she hoped he at least was there to watch over them on their special day, from wherever he was on the other side.

Remus had forbidden her to return to Hogwarts for the school year when it was announced that Severus Snape had been appointed Headmaster. He and Tonks had been sending her copies of the Prophet with their owls all summer, to keep her aware of the situation in Britain's wizarding community. Most of what the paper printed now were lies, but with Remus filling in the truth with his letters she had a pretty good idea of what was happening as opposed to what Voldemort wanted people to _think_ was happening. It was not an encouraging situation.

The Order had managed to get Harry out of his aunt and uncle's house and safely to the Burrow, but they had lost Mad-Eye Moody in the process. Tam cried when she read of his demise. She'd liked Alastor, in spite of his rough exterior. George Weasley was also injured in the chase, losing an ear, and Remus had written that he was "sorry to say" that the culprit who'd cursed him had been none other than Severus. The thought of him cursing one of her favorite students made Tamara ill.

Tam had wanted to come back to attend the wedding of Arthur and Molly's son Bill to Fleur Delacour, but they told her that it would be far too dangerous. As it turned out, they were right. Death eaters attacked the wedding reception and a well-timed patronus warning from Kingsley Shacklebolt was all that had saved most of the guests.

The Ministry was under the control of the death eaters, and now, it appeared, Hogwarts School was as well. After narrowly escaping the death eaters at the wedding, Harry had taken off on some mystery mission with Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Apparently there was a task that Dumbledore had left to them that even Remus didn't know the details of.

Tam had known as soon as she saw Severus' picture in the Prophet that there was no force on earth that would keep her from that school this year. If he had looked like death the last time she saw him, he looked worse now. His eyes looked so empty, and knowing him as well as she did Tam could recognize that however he had gotten to the point he was at, he was not at all at peace with it. She guessed even Voldemort himself, the cunning monster he was, couldn't see into Severus like she could because if he could she doubted her beloved would still be alive, let alone put in charge of Hogwarts.

There hadn't been much she'd ever been able to do in the fight against that bastardly Tom Riddle, but she could damn well keep her post and see it all through to the end. She could go to where Sev was and keep watch, perhaps find out what was really happening to him, and hopefully help McGonagall and the others protect the students. She almost didn't respond to Remus' owl, but she thought that would be terribly disrespectful to her dear friend.

_My dear Remus, I am afraid that there is no way I can stay away from Hogwarts this year. It has become my home, and I will go there to help protect the students from harm as well as to be on hand for the fight that we all know is coming. I know the risks I am taking and I am prepared for them as best I can be. I learned how to defend myself from some very talented wizards and I am not afraid. All of my dearest friends are laying their lives on the line, and I will not run away as long as there is anything I can do._

_Love to you and Dora,_

_Tamara_

When she'd arrived back at the school she immediately noticed the change. Hogwarts had always been such a wondrous and delightful place to be. Now it felt more like a concentration camp. No one felt able to speak freely. Tam hadn't even dared yet to do more than nod and smile her acknowledgment to Minerva.

Those Carrows, nasty Death Eaters, took to roughing up the students who asked inconvenient questions and didn't fall in line. The teachers all stepped in where they could, but they were all aware that if they were made to "disappear" like poor Charity Burbage then they wouldn't be able to defend the students at all, so they were careful. The whole mess worsened by the day.

Severus hadn't had much to say in his first speech as Headmaster. He didn't look himself at all. It seemed strange, but honestly in Tam's opinion his presence had, if anything _lost_ some of the power it had always had rather than gained any with his new appointment. He looked _much_ older than he had when she'd last seen him. The picture in the Prophet hadn't shown just how much of a toll these months had taken. His eyes were ringed with dark gray, as if he hadn't slept since the night of Dumbledore's murder. His hair was longer, now resting on his shoulders, and she knew he probably hadn't bothered to have it cut in a while. His skin was paler than she'd ever seen it, and she thought to herself that he could easily be mistaken for one of the castle's many ghosts. It had broken her heart all over again to see him in such a state.

Thinking back over her years at Hogwarts, certainly the happiest years of her life, she could hardly bear to face the present. The man she loved who had been such a huge part of her life here was now completely cut off from her, being destroyed by the darkness that had taken hold of their world. She wanted to go to him and hold him and beg him to come away with her. She hated herself for thinking that way, for even considering leaving the school and all of the people here she so deeply cared for, but she was afraid there would be nothing left of Severus by the time this was all over, if it ever ended at all.

Tam put her hand to the window, and with the other one wiped the tears off of her face. She was so bloody tired of weeping all the time. It gave her such horrid headaches and made her feel so drained. It was time to do something. Hogwarts now reminded her more of a prison than a school, dark, cold, and gray. This was no longer a place for learning, but a fortress for forced indoctrination.

That had been the day she had decided to confront Severus. When she saw in him in the halls (which was almost never, as he kept himself holed up in his office nearly all the time) he ignored her attempts to speak to him so she had begun putting in formal requests for a meeting. They were, of course, also ignored, so she had taken to putting in two requests per day. As she got more annoyed, it had increased to three.

One day after breakfast Minerva pulled her aside. "Miss Brookes, I have been approached by the Headmaster" she whispered, looking shaken. "He has asked me to advise you to cease your efforts to meet with him as he doesn't feel there is anything for you to discuss." Her eyes were pleading. "Tamara he told me that it would be _unwise_ for you to continue in your insistence and frankly, I think you should take his word for it. The last thing you want is for him to have the Carrows come and tell you, because I doubt they'd be as friendly messengers as myself. There may well come a time for you to face him but for now, please, as your friend I am begging you to let it go."

Tam gave her a quick hug. "Thank you Minerva, I value your opinion very much but I can't seem to forget a piece of advice you gave to me a few years back. You said that if I let him know he rattled me, he would use it against me. In my dealings with him I always followed that, and for a long time I did quite well with it. I can't help but think it is even more important now than it was then." She smiled. "Also, the fact that he sent _you_ to tell me rather than the Carrows is very telling, don't you think?"

She put in four requests that day.

The next day Tamara was in the middle of a class of third years when Alecto Carrows herself slunk into the room with a smug smirk on her face. "Brookes?"

Tam silenced the students who were practicing with instruments. "Yes."

"The headmaster wants to see you in his office. Right now."

The death eater woman was all out grinning now, and Tam had the urge to slap the look right off of the bitch's face, but she smiled at her instead._Mustn't let them think they've got to you._

She entered the chamber that she still thought of as _Dumbledore's_ with a buzz of anxiety. She wasn't afraid of him that was for certain. Even if her plan backfired and he killed her on the spot, it really didn't matter. His betrayal and abandonment had felt like a knife blade, still twisting after these months, and it was time to have it all out, one way or another.

Her breath caught in her throat when she saw him. She hadn't been in this close proximity to her love in quite some time, and even under the present circumstances, it made her ache to hold him.

"Miss Brookes" he said, and there was neither teasing lilt to his voice, nor any warmth for his most loyal friend. Truthfully, there wasn't much of anything to it at all. He sounded like a man in a trance. His eyes stared ahead blankly.

"Headmaster" she said, affording the word none of the respect it carried when applied to his predecessor. She had to do this right.

"Your persistence is admirable if exceedingly foolish. You have five minutes so make it quick" he said.

Tam walked boldly up to his desk and slapped her wand down onto it. The wand that was so much like his own, ebony and dragon heartstring. Unarmed, she backed up and stared him straight in the eyes. The eyes that she had so enjoyed gazing into on quiet evenings over the last six years.

"I just couldn't bear to go any longer without giving you a piece of my mind" she said, her voice full of ice.

He remained unmoved, as she had expected.

"For six years I have defended you, swearing that everyone else just didn't know you the way that I did. I looked up to you and I was always loyal. I went against my friends' advice again and again and for what? I was such a fool. Turns out you really were a conniving cowardly murdering greasy git after all. Rumor has it another girl almost made my mistake many years ago but she was smart enough to catch on sooner, and I say good for her."

Tamara turned her back to him and braced herself. "It's a shame you didn't meet your end in the Shrieking Shack all those years ago. You're a dirty coward who turned on the man who gave you a second chance. You betrayed us all. It makes me sick to think that I trusted you, that I actually thought I_loved_you."

She waited, and there was silence. As the seconds ticked by her heart broke more and more because of what she had said. Tears started to pour down her face but she didn't turn and she made no sound.

Finally "If that's all then I think I can assume we are finished here?" he said.

She turned around then, and noticed he looked even paler than he had when she'd come in a few minutes ago, though it didn't seem possible.

She had been trying to tempt him into lashing out at her, to either prove or disprove that he was nothing but a cold, ambitious traitor who only cared for himself… in short, to prove or disprove that he was in fact actually a true death eater. He hadn't lashed out, in fact he hadn't even responded. All at once she remembered the conversation she'd had with Professor Dumbledore before his death. It was as if she could hear him speaking the words to her all over again.

"_I ask you Tamara, to trust Severus, as I do. There may come times when doing so is very difficult for you and you will have to hide your true feelings. Be strong, keep calm, and trust him. He needs you_."

The tears in her eyes were so many that she could hardly see him anymore, but she left them there. She didn't dare speak, but she mouthed to him "I'm sorry."

He stood up and picked up her wand off of the desk. He held it out to her, handle first. "If you're quite finished?"

Taking her wand, she finally brushed her eyes with her hand, and nodded. She reached down the neckline of her shirt and pulled her Slytherin crest out from under it, setting it back against her chest where it belonged. She gave it a squeeze, knowing he would feel the call. His lip twitched and his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

Before she left she turned back to him again and whispered "I love you."

That night she went to bed as she had been doing every night since her return in his old quarters rather than her own. She liked being there surrounded by his books and all of the things he had never bothered to remove. The place smelled like him, and there were traces of his presence everywhere. Also, part of her couldn't help but remember what she had said to him… "I will always be waiting for you when you return."

She was on the leather sofa wrapped up in one of his traveling cloaks when much to her shock, he came in through the fireplace. He didn't say anything, and neither did she. He just stood there looking at her. He was so empty and dead looking, it made her want to scream out in mourning for the man she had known and loved.

After several awkward minutes he sat down on the couch by her feet and watched the fire, pointedly ignoring the elephant in the room that was the subject of all that had happened in the last few months.

Finally Tam gave in to her fist instinct, and flipped around so that she could lay her head in his lap. He immediately wove his fingers into her hair, and for a while she could almost pretend that nothing had ever happened, and things were just as they used to be.

"Why are you here?" he asked, startling her, although it was barely a whisper.

She shrugged. "I like it here. I can feel you here. I told you that I'd…" she stopped, feeling overwhelmed.

"That you'd always be here when I returned" he finished.

"Yes" she said. "Why did you come?"

"Because I hoped that you'd kept your promise."

There was more silence, until finally she spoke up again. "I don't want to know anything, that's why I haven't asked. I get the feeling you're in a very precarious position… isn't that the understatement of the century… and I couldn't live with myself if I made it worse. I'll just say again that I love you and I meant it when I said I will love you forever no matter what. No one will know that but you until this is all over, whenever that may be. I'll be waiting here till then."

He smiled weakly at her, and he looked a bit less ill than he had in quite a while.

"I didn't mean _any_ of those things I said earlier" she told him, still feeling horrible for having said them to him at all, even if it had been for a good reason.

He avoided meeting her eyes.

"I had to hurt you to try to rile you. I needed to prove to myself that… things aren't exactly as they seem. I couldn't go on feeling you were right here but a million miles away. I couldn't go on wondering if I'd ever really known you at all" she explained.

"How did you come to choose your words?" he asked quietly.

Her eyes filled with tears, as they seemed to always be doing lately. "All utter shit, believe me. Garbage I had heard that I knew would do you a wound if anything could."

He looked into her eyes finally and she knew he was waiting for permission to go into her mind. He wanted proof that she really didn't think those things about him. "Go right ahead" she said, trying to sound as kind as possible. "I don't want to hide anything from you." She felt the faint tell-tale tickle in her head that he could make unnoticeable if he wanted to, and she put her love and admiration for him in the forefront of her mind so he would understand how she really saw him.

He let his head fall onto the back of the couch, and finally seemed to relax some. That meant he believed her now. "I hope that I will live to see the day that I no longer have to hide anything from you as well."

She sat up and he removed his hand from her hair, thinking she was going to leave. Instead, she surprised him by straddling his lap and pressing her lips to his. There was desperation in her kiss, and it caught him completely off guard.

She had kissed him many times before, but it had always been isolated little incidents that had stopped or been interrupted before going very far. Before going as far as he knew they both wanted.

This was different. She kissed him now not in a tentative exploratory way, but with an urgent possessiveness that suggested she would devour him if she could. It made his head swim with confusion and he felt a shy embarrassment as his lust got the better of him and he moaned aloud.

She took the opportunity to slip her tongue into his mouth and he thought he would pass out from the jolt of pure desire that it sent through his entire body. He knew he should stop this, as it wasn't fair to her to continue, not now when his fate was likely already sealed, but his body begged him not to.

He could have bedded plenty of women, he knew, if he had been willing to settle for the comforts of a back alley tart, or a conniving Slytherin seventh year, or in his Death Eater days one of the young girls that were often enjoyed by the others under the imperius curse. That had never seemed right to him though. It was degrading and it sickened him to even consider it, so he kept himself to himself and tried not to miss what he had never had. Though he would die before admitting it to anyone but Tamara, deep down he was actually a bit of a romantic, and he felt that such intimacies should be reserved for true love alone.

He knew very well though, that long before his mind had discovered he loved Tamara Brookes his body had found her irresistible. If she would have used his password on the night they met to come into his bed, he would not have turned her away. In fact, he had spent that night having a very explicit fantasy about her doing just that. The times subsequently that they could have… well, there had always been something to dissuade him, be it a potion, or even just too much rum, because he refused to ever take advantage of her.

"Mmm, I need you Sev" she whispered in his ear. All he could do was groan. He was delirious with passion and terror all at the same time.

She started sucking on his neck, and he finally found his voice. "Tamara you don't know what you're saying. You don't know what you're doing. I can't be yours, it isn't fair to you."

She bit him saucily, as she had done once before years ago, under his ear lobe and he fought the urge to giggle. It was a serious moment, leave it to her to go and do something like that.

"I don't care." She reclaimed his lips before he could protest and her hands went to work on the buttons of his jacket. "I need you."

His rationale was that it would take her a while to get all those buttons undone, so he didn't technically have to stop her just yet. He didn't count on her getting impatient and using her wand to undo the rest of them all at once. The shirt underneath she just ripped open with two good yanks. Then her hands were on his chest and his stomach and all hope for protest was lost.

He tried to speak when she released his mouth, but since she immediately started kissing her way down his chest his words came out completely unintelligible and he gave up. When she reached his belly he obligingly pushed his hips forward so she could have access to the buttons of his trousers. He knew he was, at this point, a beaten man.

She lightly licked his navel and he moaned again. Did she realize how she was torturing him? Was that the purpose? He looked down, and seeing a mischievous set of blue eyes looking up at him, he realized that yes, it was indeed the purpose.

"Oh get on with it" he growled, and she giggled.

"Yes sir" she purred, and then she had his trousers unfastened and her hand was down them and all conscious thought left his brain.

"Good?" she asked.

His response came out as "Yrnngh…"

"I'll take that as a yes."

Severus had been very nervous, but he was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was once one reached a certain level of need. Tamara had pushed him down onto his back on the couch, and before he knew it she was naked and riding him like a Quidditch player on a broom. It was heavenly, and he deeply regretted having waited for six years to have the experience with her.

He found her moans and gasps of pleasure absolutely fascinating and beautiful and honestly he couldn't really believe this was actually happening to him. Things this amazingly good simply did not happen in his life. The fact that _his body_ was eliciting such a response from her seemed completely impossible, but apparently it wasn't, because suddenly she was screaming his name in ecstasy looking more exquisite than he had ever seen her with her cheeks flushed pink, her hair a mess, eyes squeezed shut and head thrown back in wild abandon.

The eroticism and intense pleasure of it pushed him over the edge after her and white lights exploded behind his eyes as he cried out his own absolute bliss. After several seconds of complete sensory overload, he regained his faculties enough to open his eyes.

Tamara had collapsed on top of him and her dark brown hair was spread out on his chest. She lazily kissed his shoulder. "So good" she mumbled.

He smiled. "Mmm hmm" he agreed. He moved his hand to touch her hair, and was amused to see it shaking.

They spent the night in his bed, as they had so many times before, but this time though very much passionate, it could no longer be called platonic. They enjoyed each other two more times before finally falling asleep. It was the first time he had actually slept for more than an hour or two at a time since that fateful night atop the Astronomy Tower and it came as an extreme relief.

In the morning he was gone, and she wasn't surprised. She felt a pang of shame as the thought _I just shagged the man who murdered Albus Dumbledore_passed through her mind. She reminded herself that there had to be a reason. _Besides that, it was absolutely amazing, and I really should have gotten up the courage to have done it years ago… Oh all the fabulous nights we could have had by now…_

A shiver passed through her as she remembered their blissful night of passion. She hadn't realized that he was a virgin right away or she would have probably tried to draw that first time out a bit more. Honestly she had been so desperate to have him at that point that she hadn't even given it a thought; she'd just climbed onto him like someone might mount a hippogriff. Thankfully, it had seemed to be just fine with him.

He had, in the safety of the darkness of his bedroom, later admitted to her that it had been his very first time. She could tell it embarrassed him, but he had wanted her to know that such an act was sacred to him, and very much appreciated. She had told him that being his first was an honor, and thanked him for allowing it.

"Only" he had whispered in her ear, nuzzling her cheek with his nose. "I'll never have another lover."

"Neither will I" she said. "No one could ever take your place." It was of course, the truth. She'd managed six years of celibacy waiting for him, and she knew there was no one else in the world to ever make her stray.

The next day, as usual, she didn't see him at all. Minerva came to her in between classes, having heard she'd been to speak to Snape.

The older witch waited for the last of Tam's students to leave the room before she dared to speak, and even then, she kept her voice low. "I was told that you were summoned by the Headmaster yesterday. How did it go?"

Tamara bit her lip. She should have known that her friends on the staff would be concerned and wanting details of her meeting with Severus. They all knew how hard she'd been pushing to speak to him and how hard he had been trying to avoid her. It was only natural that they would be curious and concerned.

"Well… it uh… it went better than I had expected it to really" she said weakly.

Minerva was studying her face hard and Tam knew she wasn't going to get off that easily. "Well? How so?" McGonagall pushed. "After all that work to get in there despite his warnings you can't just leave me with that!"

Tam sighed. "I can't say too much, but… I am even more convinced that things are not quite as they seem. I know that sounds stupid I just… just trust me on this ok?"

"Tamara you aren't still convinced it's some sort of mistake? We all know what happened and there is no denying what is going on here now. Students are in danger and the whole school" here she lowered her voice even further "is being run by death eaters. Those I've spoken to speculate that Professor Snape is the right hand man of… _Him_. You can't possibly have any doubt. He _threatened_ you!"

"No, actually he didn't. He just said that what I was doing was unwise. That's not a threat." She shook her head, knowing this was a hopeless endeavor, and as much as it bothered her, for Sev's safety it was probably best if everyone continued to believe he was an evil minion of Voldemort. "Anyway, don't worry about it. I'm still firmly on the side of right, believe that. I just… Severus and I worked out what we needed to and I'm quite content to leave him alone now, so you don't have to worry about me anymore ok?"

Looking confused but relieved McGonagall nodded. "Well that is good news anyway. I'm sorry it's come to this. It was hard enough for the rest of us to accept, and I know it must be particularly hard for you, given how close you were to him. I know he meant a great deal to you Tamara and I had always thought it was so nice for him to finally have someone who seemed to understand him. I suppose this is what we get for thinking we know someone."

Tamara didn't know what to say so she offered a sympathetic smile and shrugged. "Either way, we're here, and we'll do what we can to protect the students until… well until it's all said and done, one way or another."

Minerva nodded. "Yes we certainly will do that" she said firmly.

That night Tam waited on the sofa in front of the fireplace for hours, hoping he would come to her again. She ached to hold him. It still made her feel strange, not being able to know for sure what his part was in all of this. All of the evidence was stacked against him, she knew this. He had killed Albus Dumbledore. Harry Potter saw it, and he had all but admitted it to her at Grimmauld Place. There was no doubt that it was Voldemort in charge of Hogwarts now, as well as, Tam knew, the Ministry. The state of things at the school was disgraceful, but… she knew that it could have been much worse.

The punishments from the Carrows were cruel and brutal… but they could have easily been fatal, and Tamara suspected that there would have been fatalities by now if _someone_wasn't reining them in. The students who had been sent to Severus himself for punishment had gotten off so easy that it was almost bizarre. Professor Snape had never been accused of being lenient with discipline… well, except occasionally with students from his own house. For the most part he was known as the school hard-ass. Suddenly it was detentions with Hagrid?

Tam smiled, making up her mind once and for all. Severus did not really belong to Voldemort, she decided. She didn't know the details… but she knew with all of her heart that whatever he was doing, he was doing it for the good of the school and for the good of everyone. She really _did_believe in him, and she resolved that from now on, she would quietly keep calm and trust Snape, just as Dumbledore had told her to.

Laying there in the warmth of the fire with Sev's cloak wrapped around her she began to feel her eyes get heavy. She buried her face in the fabric for a few seconds and deeply inhaled his scent. Oh how she missed him.

She fell asleep thinking about his dark eyes.

After emerging from the fireplace, stepping out of the flames as if they were an illusion, he dropped to his knees next to the sleeping woman.

He knew he shouldn't be there, and he had told himself that he wouldn't go to her again… but after several restless hours pacing in the Headmaster's office, he had finally lost his inner battle. At least she was sleeping, and need never know he had been there.

His eyes traveled over her, taking in her silky long dark brown hair, and fair skin. Her mouth was open slightly and he longed to kiss her. She was wrapped in his cloak again and the loyalty in that gesture made his heart ache. No one in his life, not even his own mother, had ever shown such care for him before, not genuinely. Only once, when he was a teenager, had he even come close to believing that there may be a chance for him to be happy without Lily. That had ended badly, just as everything always seemed to, and until he had met Tamara, he had never allowed himself to open up to anyone again.

In the years he'd known his sweet, beautiful Tamara she had always accepted him for all his faults, and had never shied away from him. Even now, when he knew that he had seemingly gone against everything and everyone else she cared about, she had still welcomed him with love. He felt his eyes swim with unshed tears.

"If I die" he whispered "I shall die knowing that once I was loved."

Though he hadn't meant for her to hear him, her eyelids fluttered when he spoke. He leaned away from her and held his breath, hoping she wouldn't wake, but her blue eyes settled upon his face and she sat up.

Feeling a rising panic he said "I shouldn't be here. I didn't mean to wake you, I just…" He couldn't finish because those troublesome tears were still threatening, and for some reason his throat did not want to allow anymore sound to escape.

She slid off of the couch and pulled him to her, holding him as tightly as she possibly could. "Of course you should be here" she whispered. "This is right where you belong. I'm glad you woke me. I was waiting for you anyway."

His throat decided to release the sound it had been holding hostage, but to his dismay it came out as a sob instead of words. Hot tears hit Tamara's neck as his shoulders shook under her hands.

She was shocked by this sudden flood of emotion. Severus did not cry. Ever. Not once in six years had she ever caught so much as a hint that he might break down, and now he was huddled in her arms sobbing like a heartbroken child. It was a surreal experience.

Tamara usually knew what to say to him, but this time she was at a complete loss, so she simply held him tight until he managed to recover. It didn't take long, his lapse in control ended as suddenly as it had begun. He silently wiped his eyes on the cloak she was wrapped in and then looked up as if nothing had happened at all. She noticed though that he looked very nervous, and did not meet her eyes.

"Are you all right?" she asked him.

He nodded, and she could feel the embarrassment coming off of him.

"It's only me" she said softly, smirking. "That means it never happened."

He smirked back at her, and she knew that she'd said the right thing. He knew he could trust her.

"I'm exhausted Sweet, let's go to bed?" She said it as a question, hoping that he would stay. She didn't think she could bear it if he left now.

There was lust in his eyes, and the slow nod he gave made her heart beat faster.

He didn't stay the whole night. When he started to sit up and called his clothes to him with his wand Tamara whined and grabbed his arm.

"Oh come on, don't go _now_!"

Severus smiled and leaned down to kiss her on the head. "I have to. The time is near my dear. Potter is coming. Very soon this will be at its end, one way or another, and I have to play the proper part. It won't do to have death eaters looking for me in the Headmaster's quarters while I'm down here with you."

She stared at his bare chest as he fastened up his trousers. He noticed her looking and smirked. He didn't seem as self-conscious about his left forearm tonight, dressing unashamedly in the candle light. She had seen him trying to keep it hidden from her the night before, even though he had shown it to her three years ago.

"If Harry defeats _Him_, what does that mean for you?" she asked.

He ignored the question.

"Severus what does it mean for _us_?" She knew she was treading on thin ice, but she couldn't help herself.

"I don't know" he finally said, sounding a bit snappish. "I can't speculate." He sat down on the bed next to her again, but with his back to her. "Tamara there are some things I need you to know."

"What?" she asked, sounding more annoyed than she meant to.

"I've left a very detailed letter in Dumbledore's desk" he said. Tamara noticed that once again he was referring to the things in the Headmaster's office as if they were still the property of his predecessor.

"It explains that you are to inherit everything that is mine to do with what you wish. I don't like to have to do it that way, but I can't exactly go and have a solicitor draw up a proper will at this point can I? I think it might raise suspicions. I've got enough gold put by to, depending on the state of things by then, either get you safely out of the country and keep you alive for a bit, or… get you a nice start in whatever life you choose for yourself. More valuable than the gold though, are my collections of books and potions supplies. The house is yours as well. Sell it, do whatever you like."

Tam stared at his back. She couldn't say anything. He expected to die. That was it. The happy ending she had been waiting for she had been waiting for alone. He had no plans for a future with her because he didn't plan to have a future at all.

"The letter is password protected. It won't show its contents to anyone without the correct word. Do you remember what the password for my door was on the day we met?" he asked.

"Bezoar" she whispered. It felt as if six years were a mere six days.

"Yes. That's the word."

She didn't mean to do it, but she broke the promise she had made to herself and asked the question that had been on her mind for so long. "Do you love me Severus?"

"A death eater who loves? What a tortured unfortunate soul that would be" he said softly.

Without another word, he stood up and went out into the other room to disappear into the fireplace.

Over the next few days, she always waited but he didn't come back. She knew why he didn't but it didn't make it any easier to take. Finally getting him back after months apart had made her even more desperate to be near him.

Her classroom had become a gathering place of sorts for the non-death eater staff members. Tamara wasn't entirely sure why, other than that it was a large room that was better lit than the staff room itself, which with so much darkness around was comforting. The Carrows also seemed to avoid it most of the time, other than to occasionally come and glower at the doorway. Tam supposed that the instruments and her habit of random singing probably also helped to cheer everyone up a bit when everything seemed so bleak.

They knew that some of the students were hiding in the room of requirement much of the time to get away from the current regime. Minerva had told her that Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley, and some of the other members of Harry's old group "Dumbledore's Army" were there, awaiting Harry's return for the call to battle. Tam was very proud of them all, but also terrified. They were so young.

One evening right before dinner she found she had the company of Minerva, Horace Slughorn, Pomona Sprout, Filius Flitwick and Argus Filch.

Looking around, Tam smiled. "Busy night in the music room isn't it?"

Minerva smiled back at her. "Apparently."

They knew that they couldn't say much to each other about their present unpleasant situation because they were of course being watched. It wasn't a _secret_that they were congregating there, and they were all well aware that there would be some sort of monitoring of anything they might say.

"It's good to be among friends" said Horace, forcing a weak smile. "Tamara, perhaps you've got a song for us? Music is helpful for forgetting a person's troubles" he suggested.

Tam nodded, even though she really didn't feel like singing. She was thinking of Severus and how much she hoped Harry would annihilate bloody awful Voldemort. The first song that came to mind was "When You're Gone" by The Cranberries, so she began to sing it for her friends.

Tamara had, in spite of her initial reluctance, gotten quite wrapped up in the song, so it wasn't until she saw the stunned looks on the faces of her companions all staring in the direction of the door that she realized something was wrong. When she turned around she became even more positive that the room was being monitored because Severus was in the doorway watching her.

She kept singing, not wanting to give away her shock or her fear. He shouldn't have been there. It wouldn't look good, and she knew it. As much as she missed him, she didn't want him to take unnecessary risks.

He said nothing, just stood there staring. When she had stopped, Horace, looking very nervous and slightly ill, nodded in his direction with an obviously terrified smile. "Ah, hello Severus."

Their Headmaster ignored him, and simply kept staring at Tamara. Minerva was watching both of them warily. McGonagall was the only other person in the school who knew how Tam felt about Severus and Tam knew she would be well aware that the song she'd chosen was not a random selection.

"There is" Severus said slowly, menacingly. "Still a staff room on the premises."

Nobody dared say anything, even though Horace was still forcing himself to smile. He had begun to sweat a bit.

After a few more moments he turned and left, not saying another word.

"Well that was unpleasant" Pomona commented.

"Indeed it was" agreed Minerva. She gave Tam a look that suggested she knew why he had decided to show up, but thankfully didn't say anything out loud.

Horace still looked ill, and simply shook his head.

Filch was clutching Mrs. Norris and looking around among the gathered teachers nervously. Tamara knew he had always liked Severus, and she could tell he was feeling particularly torn as to what he should do. She walked over to him and smiled encouragingly, giving his cat a pat on the head.

"These are unpleasant times" she said. "I can't help but think there will soon be a resolution."

Minerva's eyes shot back over to her, and Tam suddenly worried that she had said too much in that simple sentence. She wasn't surprised when, as the others filed out to go to dinner, her friend stayed behind and touched her shoulder.

"Has _someone_ told you something?"

Tamara cringed. "Min…"

"Oh no, don't bother trying to pretend. I won't ask you for details and I won't breathe a word to anyone else… but if there's something coming, I need to know." The older witch looked concerned, and Tam noticed, more than a little annoyed.

"_Someone_ said that it'll all be over soon, one way or another. That's really all I can say" she admitted quietly, hoping that she wasn't putting Severus in any more danger by revealing it.

Minerva sighed. "Well, I can't honestly say whether that's a relief or something else to dread."

Tam shrugged sadly. "I don't know. I wish I did."

Later that night, once again sitting in his old rooms, hoping he would show up, she decided to try something.

"You could hear me in my classroom, are you listening here too?" She called out loud. She waited, but there was no response. She really wasn't sure what she'd expected even if he was listening, but she figured it had been worth a shot.

Leaning her head back on the sofa she started to sing again to get out some of the emotion that was threatening to drive her insane.

Suddenly there was a flash of green across the flames in the fireplace and Tam jumped, startled. She stared at the fire, wondering if he would emerge, but he didn't.

"Well, thanks for that, anyway" she said with a sigh. "At least I know you're listening."


	24. Please Don't Leave Me

_This was a really hard chapter for me to work on, of course. It felt like losing actual friends when I read it and again when I watched it in the movie. In this story, this is where I started to change a few things, as you will notice. If you get a chance, look for a band called "Oliver Boyd and The Remembralls" on iTunes or even on youtube. They are awesome, and the song "Lupin's Tale" makes me cry for Remus and Tonks every time I hear it. Their other songs are excellent too, and definitely worth checking out. My kids and I like to listen to them in the car and talk about Harry! ;-)_

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><p>Tam was having a drink with Horace Slughorn in his (formerly Sev's) office in the dungeons the night they received word that the Headmaster wanted all staff and students gathered in the great hall immediately. Horace looked at her with fearful eyes, and she patted his back before they left.<p>

Standing in the great hall surrounded by all of the castle's residents Tamara had a very uneasy feeling. Severus was rarely ever even _seen_, and he almost _never_ addressed the was this all about?

When he began to speak, Tam got her answer. Harry Potter had been spotted in Hogsmeade.

The Headmaster threatened that anyone, student or staff, who attempted to aide Potter would be punished, and that anyone who had information on him and didn't come forward would be punished equally. Tamara, knowing him as well as she did, could read his face and voice better than most, and she was positive that it took all of his will to force out what he was saying. She could tell it was making him sick. She stared hard at him, hoping that he would notice and take some comfort from the knowledge that she at least, still trusted him.

Horace looked positively ill, and Minerva was staring at the floor with a devastated expression. Tamara's heart ached for all of them.

Finally Severus said "If anyone here has any knowledge of Mr. Potter's movements this evening I invite them to step forward…. now."

Barely a moment after the words were spoken, Harry himself, dressed in Gryffindor robes, emerged from the assembled crowd. There was a collective gasp at the sight of him.

_This is it _thought Tamara. _The beginning of the end._

"It seems despite your exhaustive defensive strategies you still have a bit of a security problem Headmaster. I'm afraid it's quite extensive" Harry said.

The large doors swung open to reveal several remaining members of the Order of the Phoenix. Tamara saw Kingsley Shacklebolt, the entire Weasley family, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas… and Remus Lupin. Her heart began to pound furiously and she felt like the room was spinning. This was her worst nightmare before her eyes. Her dear friends about to face off against the man she loved.

Harry began to shout at Severus. "How dare you stand where he stood? Tell them how it happened that night. Tell them how you looked him in the eye, a man who trusted you, and killed him. Tell them."

Severus drew his wand, and Minerva McGonagall quickly pushed Harry out of the way. Tam plainly saw the discomfort in Severus' eyes at the prospect of dueling against Minerva and she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming when he hesitated for a moment and pulled back his wand a bit. Thankfully he reconsidered and raised it again to defend himself just in time.

McGonagall began to fire bright flaming blasts at her former colleague, and Tam let out an involuntary whimper. He blocked her relentless shots expertly, and Tamara's eyes widened when she saw him deflect two of the magical bursts behind him into the Carrow siblings, knocking them both to the floor. It was glaringly obvious to her that he had not fired back a single shot towards Minerva. He was defending himself only, not moving to do his opponent any harm. She watched wide eyed, wanting to yell out to Minerva, and Remus, and all of them to _pay attention_! Couldn't they see he wasn't fighting back?

Suddenly with an impressive flourish he became opaque black smoke before their eyes and swooped up to crash out of the stained glass windows behind him, flying into the night. Tamara felt like her heart was torn into two pieces. Half was relieved that he'd gone without anyone getting hurt, and half was crushed at his expulsion from the only place she knew he had ever truly felt at home. Then of course, there was the loss of him. He was gone, flown away from her yet again.

"COWARD!" Minerva howled. She turned and in an instant had relit the torches around the room with her wand, reclaiming the school from Voldemort's forces. The brightened great hall was a thrilling sight, but that awful word rang in Tam's ears painfully. He was no coward, and she knew it.

Students suddenly began to scream as a serpentine hissing voice spoke clearly inside their heads. They were advised that although they would want to fight, to do so would be a folly. Voldemort promised that if they turned over Harry Potter they would all be spared and the school would be untouched. They were warned that they had one hour.

Pansy Parkinson, one of the sort of Slytherins who Tam thought gave the house its bad reputation, started shouting for someone to grab Harry. Ginny Weasley stepped in front of him protectively, and was quickly followed by several others.

Filch came in with Mrs. Norris yelling that there were students out of bed, and Minerva informed him that they were _supposed _to be there. She instructed him to take the Slytherin students to the dungeons. Tam felt a stab of injustice on behalf of her house. Not _all_ of them were like Parkinson. She exchanged a sad look with Horace as she watched them file out.

Remus grabbed Tamara for a quick hug. "Are you all right?" he asked knowingly, looking her in the eyes.

Not wanting to upset him at a time like this she put on a brave smile and nodded. "Yes. We knew it would come to this eventually, didn't we?"

He nodded, and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry" he whispered.

Outside, Minerva was giving instructions. She activated the great stone guards that were there to protect the school, and everyone scrambled to be ready to defend Hogwarts against what was to come.

The teachers and Order members began casting protective charms around the castle, and a dome of magical energy encased it. There was chaos as some students ran to be evacuated and others, those who were of age, prepared to fight.

Tamara stuck close to Remus, not wanting him out of her sight. "Where's Dora?" she asked him.

"At her mother's house with Teddy" he explained. She could tell he was glad that she was safe, and frankly, so was Tam.

"Good" she said, giving his hand a squeeze. "Neville and Seamus told me about Dora's father. I'm sorry."

He nodded. "Me too."

When the onslaught began, Tam took a deep breath and silently begged the universe to move in their favor. She wished Severus was there with her instead of off somewhere in disgrace.

Following Remus and Kingsley to a window, she heard Kingsley ask Dean Thomas to tell McGonagall that they would handle this side of the castle. Then, seeing the number of death eater's shots being fired at the protective barrier he amended "On second thought, tell Professor McGonagall we might need one or two more wands this side."

Remus spoke up "It is the quality of one's convictions that determine success not the number of followers."

"Who said that?" asked Kingsley.

"Me" Remus replied, with a smile. Tam grinned, and leaned her forehead against his back.

Suddenly Tonks came running up to them, and Tamara stared at her in shock. Dora flung herself into Remus' arms and he cried out "You shouldn't have!"

Tam felt sorry, hearing the fear in his voice. Tears sprung to her eyes at the sight of her two dear friends embracing.

"It's Teddy who needs you" her friend told his wife, as he squeezed her tightly to him.

"He'll sleep till dawn, and snore like his father" Tonks replied. "It's you that needs me tonight."

Remus smiled at her, and Tam reached up to give her currently light brown hair a playful tug. "Hey gorgeous! I'd rather you were safely anywhere but here, but I must admit you're a sight for sore eyes!"

She was rewarded by a teasing punch to the shoulder and a hug.

"How's baby?"

Tonks grinned. "Brilliant! You've got to meet him!"

"You're darn right I do!"

Looking again out the window revealed that the protective barrier had given way. It was falling now in smoldering pieces. This was it. Hogwarts would soon be a battleground.

Now that Remus and Dora were together Tam began to get a strong urge to look for some word of what might be happening with her own true love. She knew she wasn't likely to find it inside the castle. She took a last look at the Lupins as they reached out to hold each other's hands. She hoped she would see them again, but her heart was calling. Quietly slipping away, Tamara made her way downstairs.

There were death eaters storming the castle. Tamara stepped in between a student who did _not_ look old enough to still be there and a large gray haired wizard in a death eater's hood. The man wasted no time and she had to block a string of hexes before she could fire off her own.

"Confringo!" she shouted, and the man was blasted backwards by a fiery explosion.

Her goal of finding out about Severus forgotten for the moment, Tam concentrated on defending her "home" from the invaders. She'd always considered herself more of a lover than a fighter but under the circumstances she felt no guilt about taking out as many of the swine as possible.

After a lengthy duel with a short chubby masked wizard that she _barely _escaped in one piece, Tamara finally made her way outside into the midst of much of the worst of the fighting. There were giants and huge spiders, dementors, and death eaters, all attacking the Hogwarts defenders.

Tam spun around just in time to defend herself from a curse thrown by a severe looking black-clad witch.

"Sectumsempra!" Tam cast back, watching with a deep satisfaction as the woman's body was covered in deep gashes. Severus had taught her that spell. It was one he had invented himself in his youth, and he had assured her it was very effective should she ever find herself in trouble.

Tamara had to somersault out of the way to avoid being clobbered by a large giant, and when she made it to her feet she fired off another curse at the back of a death eater who was dueling with a student. She was a Slytherin after all and this was war, if they were playing fair they wouldn't have been there in the first place.

She vaguely considered trying to reach Severus by squeezing her pendant but dismissed the idea as too dangerous. If he came here now thinking she needed rescuing he would be a target of not only the defenders but of Voldemort's forces as well for coming to her aid.

Suddenly Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley went running by her and Tam's empathy immediately picked up their determination. They were off to find something, _someone_. Someone who scared them. Tamara's instincts told her to follow, so she quickly cast a disillusionment charm on herself and ran after them.

They took the stone stairway down to the lake, and Tam realized they were headed for the boathouse. When Harry and his friends crouched down outside it Tam settled herself a bit further behind them so that they wouldn't detect her. Suddenly she heard a very familiar voice.

She cast a charm to sharpen her hearing and squinted at the glass so she could see inside better. Severus was there… with _Him. _Voldemort himself. He was speaking so kindly to his supposed master that it reminded Tamara of the reverent tone he often used to use with Dumbledore… or her.

She didn't understand what they were talking about. Severus was reassuring the Dark Lord about a wand, telling him that it would only answer to him. It was apparent that Voldemort wasn't buying it, and Tam felt a cold stab of terror pierce her heart.

Severus was standing closest to the glass, and she could see his hands were clasped behind his back. He was fidgeting slightly with his fingers and she could feel fear radiating off of him in contradiction to his calm performance. This was not good. Her mind raced trying to find a way that she could possibly help him, but she knew that at present there was nothing. She would have to wait.

"The elder wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Dumbledore, Severus. While you live the elder wand cannot truly be mine. You've been a good and faithful servant Severus… but only I can live forever."

"My Lord…"

Voldemort waved his wand, and Tamara saw Sev stagger. She couldn't see what had happened, but she had a fairly good idea. Severus collapsed backwards against the glass.

"Nagini… kill."

The massive snake flew at her beloved, and she choked down a scream. She felt like she was going to either throw up or faint, and she began to shake violently. _No, no, no, no… This can't happen… He deserves better than this_! The huge beast struck again and again.

When the attack ceased Voldemort and the hideous snake finally disappeared Harry, Ron, and Hermione entered the boathouse, and still Tamara waited. She was whimpering with impatience, silently begging them to either get him some help or get the bloody hell out of there so she herself could.

Tam saw Harry put his hand against Sev's wounds to try to staunch the bleeding. Sev said something that she couldn't make out, his voice weak and desperate.

When Harry, Ron, and Hermione finally stepped out of the boathouse and headed back towards the castle, moving as quickly and quietly as possible Tamara darted inside. She hadn't been able to see, mercifully, what had happened to Severus in much detail, but she had heard it all, and had seen the shape of the snake lunging at him and repeatedly slamming him into the glass with the force of its strikes. A piece of her hope had died with each blow. It had taken all the fortitude she possessed not to just rush in to him, Voldemort and his bitch snake be damned!

She knew though that if she did that he would kill her before she ever even made it to Sev's side, so there would be no helping him. She'd forced herself to wait for him to leave, which thankfully he did quickly. When Harry Potter and his friends had gone in she once again forced herself to wait because there had been a reason for their coming down here, she was sure, and she didn't want to risk ruining something that was necessary to end this war.

Finally inside, she whimpered and her knees buckled at the sight before her eyes. The amount of blood was overwhelming. Severus was slumped against the glass, unmoving. She forced her legs to lift her back up and move her towards him. As she got closer she could see that the evil bitchly serpent had mangled his throat, and that was the source of all of the blood. Tamara knew, remembering Arthur Weasley's run in with the beast that it was venomous as well, and that was a whole extra set of problems. The poison was designed to prevent healing, and ensure exsanguination. A harsh sob tore from her throat at the thought of losing him. He looked dead, but she could feel a faint life force from him, and knew that he wasn't gone yet.

She dropped to her knees at Sev's side and pulled a small bag out of her cloak pocket. Inside were several potions and items that she kept with her as a sort of magical first-aid kit. Most of the potions had come from her private lessons with Severus in her first year working at Hogwarts. Some of them he had simply given her to keep on hand. She reached for the blood-replenishing vial first, and pulled his head into her lap to pour a good dose down his throat. He made a slight gurgling sound and Tam felt the room start to spin. She banged her head hard against the glass to keep herself from fainting.

Tam pulled off her cloak and used a spell to cut it into wide strips. Working as fast as she could she tied several strips tightly in several thick layers around his wounded neck to help control the bleeding. Between that and the replenishing potion she hoped she could at least keep him from bleeding to death right away.

Using her empathic ability, which was so deeply familiar with his signature life force, she reached out for the trace of his soul that still remained. It took some searching, and it was very hard to keep the panic from taking over, but at last she found the spark she was looking for. It was small, but there. She willed it back, concentrating heavily, pulling with all she had, refusing to let him slip away from her irretrievably.

When she felt she had a good enough mental grip on him, she reached into her bag for the next potion. It was some of the snake-bite antidote they had made after the cobra incident in her first teaching year. It was several years old, and she knew it was not made for Nagini's rare brand of poison, but she believed it might at least help, as it had been designed to neutralize the venom of several varieties of serpent. She tipped a dose down his throat, and pleaded with him to stay with her.

Putting all of her concentration back on holding onto his soul, she let her head fall onto his blood-soaked chest. She knew she had to help him hang on until it was safe to take him for help. "Don't leave me" she whispered. "I love you so! Please don't leave me."

As the hours passed, Tamara's strength waned. She was exhausted and thoroughly traumatized. She knew if she lost her hold on him he would likely die, so she hummed to try to stay awake. Every few minutes she would talk to him, begging him not to leave and praising his bravery. As close to every hour as she could estimate she gave him more blood replenishing potion.

The sun came up, but she didn't notice right away due to her addled state and her need to focus on keeping her grip on his life force. When she did notice she wondered if it were over yet. Since she really had no way of knowing, and Sev's life hung in the balance of her every decision, she stayed where she was. Many hours passed, and Tam felt more and more drained. Part of her began to wonder if they would be stuck here for all eternity in this never-ending hell of uncertainty and exhaustion.

At first she thought the voices she was hearing must have been inside her own befuddled head. She had no idea how long they had even been there, or what may be happening back at the castle. She stayed focused on him.

Her eyes widened and a shrill squeak left her throat when she recognized the voice of Rubeus Hagrid.

"Harry said Professor Snape died in here" the gamekeeper said grimly. "Now that we know the truth… well, I thought it was only right that we come down to fetch him."

Hagrid and Filch stepped into the boathouse and Tam started to scream.

"Help! Please!" she howled hoarsely, trying to drag Sev's body towards the two men. "Help him!"

Hagrid stared at her in shock. "Oh Miss Brookes" he said sadly. "I'm awful sorry for ye. We'll get him up to the castle to be laid t'rest proper…"

She let out an earsplitting nearly inhuman wail. "NO! He's alive, but if he doesn't get help soon he won't make it. Please you have to get him up to the castle so they can get him the right antidote." Something finally snapped altogether in her and she screamed "IF HE DIES I SWEAR I'LL GO WITH HIM!"

Clearly deeply shaken the two men rushed forward. Hagrid lifted Severus like he was a rag doll and Filch helped Tamara to her feet.

Hagrid didn't wait for them. He rushed back towards the castle as quickly as he could possibly go.

Tam yelled after him "Tell them he needs the antidote, the one they made for Arthur Weasley! It was that bloody bitch snake!"

It took Filch a while to get her up to the castle. She was trying to hurry, desperate to make sure that Severus was still holding on, but she was so weak from the long night and disturbed by its traumas that she weaved around wildly.

When she got into the great hall she looked around, hoping to find Remus. There were wounded wizards and dead bodies lined up everywhere. Victims of the battle. She knew Voldemort had to be dead; otherwise it would still be going on. It was a satisfying realization, but with so many lost it was hard to be very happy.

Tamara saw a few members of the Weasley family weeping over the body of a tall red-haired young man…one of the twins! She put a bloodstained hand over her mouth, suddenly needing to be sick. Fred and George had been her absolute favorite students when they were at school. A few seconds of looking told her it was Fred. Such talent and heart wasted! Such a wonderful young man, gone before he'd had a proper chance at life!

Not far from the Weasleys, Tam's eyes settled on two more bodies. It was Remus, and Tonks was beside him. Their hands were sprawled out in a way that made it look like they were reaching for each other.

Tamara felt like she'd been hit with a cruciatus curse. She bolted forward and hit the floor next to her dead friends. She put a hand on Remus' still chest and screamed in agony. The room started to spin and then went black.

Tamara found herself sitting on a bench in park that she and Remus had liked to walk in when they were in Paris. There were no people in sight, and everything was so still she knew that it had to be an illusion.

Suddenly, he was there on the bench next to her, smiling sadly. "Hello" he said.

She let out a sob, and reached for him. He hugged her tight.

"This isn't a place for tears" he scolded.

"You died" she cried.

"Yes I did. I'm sorry for that."

"What about your little boy? He's lost you both." If she hadn't already been unconscious she thought she might have fainted again.

He nodded. "I know. It is very unfortunate, and I am sad not to have had the chance to know him, but as I told Harry, he will be told someday why his mother and father died, to make the world a better place to live in."

"Poor Dora" she breathed. "But I'm glad she went with you. I know that sounds horrible, but I know the hell she'd have felt if she'd been left behind."

Remus nodded again. "I know you had a bit of experience with that very recently. I probably shouldn't say so, but I happen to know that you needn't worry. You'll get your chance to spoil the crabby bugger and give him plenty of black haired babies, fear not!

In spite of herself, she laughed. That was a relief, certainly. "I'll name one for you" she said.

"Oh that'll go over swimmingly, I'm sure." He smiled, but then looked seriously into her eyes. "The temptation for you will be to just let yourself go mad after all this, but I want you to promise me you won't. It's all over now, and the future is an empty book for you to fill."

She wiped her eyes, and nodded. She knew he was right. Now that she knew Severus was alive, there was nothing that would keep her from him, and she couldn't let go of her sanity or she would have saved him just to leave him alone.

"I'm gonna miss you forever you know" she said. She tried hard to study every inch of his face, not wanting to ever forget a single detail. "I'll love you always Remus."

He chuckled "Yes, I know. Remember what I told you years ago?" He placed a hand over her heart. "You'll always have me right here. Dora too. We'll meet again. I can say that with a certainty now, as I happen to be dead and know all about these things."

"Give her all my love, and Sirius too."

She hugged him again, and then she heard Filch calling her name.

"Miss Brookes? Professor?"

She woke up on the floor, with several concerned faces hovering over her, including the Weasley family and Horace Slughorn. She was aware that they had moved her away from Remus and Tonks. Filch helped her to her feet, and she went back over to where her friends lay. She gave Tonks' hand a final squeeze and set it reverently into Remus' palm. That was the way it should be. Tam leaned down and gave Remus a kiss on his cold forehead, and letting the tears flow, she whispered "Until we meet again, farewell my friends."

She straightened herself and tried her hardest to regain at least a little bit of composure. She'd made Remus a promise and intended to keep it. Molly Weasley grabbed her and they both wept together as they embraced. There were no words to say as Tam looked beyond Molly's shoulder to give a sympathetic nod to Arthur. He returned it, his tear streaked face showing his grief.

Tam released Molly with a gentle pat on the back and then turned back to Filch. "Thank you Argus, for everything. Can we go see where they've taken Severus please?"

The man nodded gravely, looking terribly confused.

When she reached where Severus was she could hardly see him with all the busy people hovering over him. Minerva was with them, and she gasped when she noticed Tam.

"Oh Tamara! There you are! We believed he had died! How did you manage to keep him alive all that time? Potter's told us everything. I'm so sorry that I doubted you! How long did you know?" The older woman was gushing, and Tam stared at her, confused.

"Know what? What do you mean? Is he all right? He needs the antidote to that disgusting snake…" She wiped her running nose on her shirtsleeve.

Minerva grabbed her and hugged her. "Yes, the healers are seeing to him right now. He'll have the antidote as soon as it arrives from St. Mungo's, which should be momentarily. What I was talking about is how long did you know for sure he was on our side? How long did you know about Albus?"

Tamara shook her head. "Min I didn't. I don't. I just know Sev, and I believe in him. That's really all. What do you mean? What about Albus?"

Looking, if it was possible, even more amazed, McGonagall began to explain. "Severus sent some memories with Potter in the boathouse for him to take to the pensieve. Albus was dying of a curse! That withered hand of his. Severus managed to keep it from killing him outright, but it was slowly spreading, and he would have died within a year. Albus asked Severus to end his life for him to spare young Malfoy from doing it, and to spare himself from a painful undignified death of that curse! Albus knew Voldemort would make him Headmaster, and he wanted him to protect the students. He really has been with us all this time, doing what Albus told him to do!"

Tamara swayed on her feet a little; the relief of finally knowing lifted such a weight off of her heart that she suddenly felt off balance. She laughed out loud.

"When there are inquiries" Minerva went on "and I'm sure there will be, we have the evidence. He'll be proven innocent! Don't worry. I feel terrible for being so harsh with him. He's been through so much to try and protect us, and we couldn't even know it."

"Yes, that's just it Min. You didn't know. You couldn't know. It's ok. I saw… yesterday, whenever it was now, was it yesterday? I don't know what day it is… Anyway, I saw, when you were dueling, he didn't try to curse you. Did you see? He defended himself, and _then_… did you see him deflect those shots of yours into the Carrows? He knocked them out himself. I saw but I didn't dare tell you because if… if bloody _Voldemort_ figured anything was amiss I was afraid he'd kill him. Then the bastard did it anyway, or tried to. I saw it. I saw what he did. I saw that smelly beastly snake hit him and…" She started to wobble again, and looking alarmed, McGonagall and Filch both reached for her before she could hit the floor.


	25. Time to Retire

Snape looked around him, trying to get some bearing on where in the hell he was. Everything was bathed in a bright white glow, and he knew it should be hurting his eyes, but it didn't. He stood up slowly.

_And this is death_ he thought. _Rather unspectacular. _

He realized he was on the playground near Spinner's End. _This is an interesting place to end up…_

"Sev" said a soft voice from behind him.

He spun around, and there she was. Sweet Lily. He had waited for this moment for so long, and now that she was here before him he couldn't collect his thoughts enough to even speak to her. He simply stared.

"Thank you" she said. "Thank you for protecting my son and helping him to reach his destiny. Harry lives, and the monster is dead."

Severus let out a sigh of tremendous relief. It hadn't all been for nothing. "Lily I am so sorry…"

She shook her head and smiled. "Still trying to apologize after all this time and all you have done to redeem yourself? Don't let it trouble you anymore Sev. Let go of your guilt."

"I wasn't very…"

"Nice to him?" She laughed. "Neither was my sister, but you both looked after him and helped to make him the brave man that he is today. Besides, could anyone have really expected Severus Snape to make anything _easy_ for the son of James Potter?" Her eyes sparkled with humor. "I daresay you did him a favor, teaching him that _life_ isn't easy. The lesson served him well."

"What now?" he asked her.

Her smiled widened. "That, my dear friend, is up to you. You can go on to see what awaits you beyond… or you can go back and mend that poor girl's shattered heart. You've earned some happiness Severus."

"Tamara" he whispered. She would not take his death well, he knew that.

She nodded.

"I won't forget you Lily" he said. "I… always…"

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I know Severus."

"Severus?" McGonagall said gently.

He opened his eyes, and then shut them again as he was overtaken by a massive headache. He groaned.

"Oh thank heavens!" she sighed. "We weren't sure if you were going to make it for a while, so it is a relief to see you awake. Potter thought you had died, otherwise someone would have come along sooner."

He tried to talk, but his throat hurt badly and only a strangled noise came out.

"You had a nasty set of bites to the neck, and it's best to let it rest for now." He recognized the voice of Madame Pomfrey.

"Potter told us the truth" Minerva explained. "I apologize Severus, for what I said to you in the great hall. You are many things, but a coward is certainly not one of them."

He tried to give her a nod of thanks, but that brought a tremendous jolt of pain from his neck and he froze, wishing he could at least have the relief of a good scream.

Madame Pomfrey pressed a vial to his lips. "Here. Have this. Just a pain potion, and by the label, I believe you were the one who made it. It'll help."

She was right, it did help. He still hurt, but at least he could think now. He managed to open his eyes again, and he carefully tried to look around to see if he could find Tamara.

Taking a good guess at what he was looking for McGonagall said "Miss Brookes is here."

He finally saw her curled up asleep in the chair next to his cot. He was horrified by her appearance. She looked like someone had smeared red paint on her face. Severus realized that since she wasn't in a cot herself, it must have been his blood.

"She saved your life" Madame Pomfrey said, sounding impressed. "Not an easy feat either. Not sure how she did it honestly, as it shouldn't have even been possible under the circumstances."

McGonagall spoke up again. "She hasn't left your side, just stays right there. She won't eat anything, and we can't even convince her to wash off the blood. She's not well I'm afraid. On her way in she caught sight of the bodies of some friends and she collapsed."

He raised an eyebrow in question.

"Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks" she explained.

Severus closed his eyes again as his heart broke for her. _Shattered heart indeed_ he thought. If he hadn't chosen to come back…

"We lost many in this fight Severus, and I am pleased that we don't have to count you among them" she said kindly. Then she moved toward Tamara.

"Miss Brookes? Tamara?" she said, trying to roust her. There was no response so she gave her shoulder a careful nudge.

Tam's head shot up and her eyes flew open. "Hmm?" She looked wild-eyed, and Sev wondered if this whole mess would prove to have driven her mad.

"There's someone who I think you'd like to see" Minerva told her, gesturing in his direction.

She spun her head around and when she saw him looking at her she threw herself out of the chair and into the cot with him. He moved his arms around her immediately, and as she let loose with a slew of incoherent words and sobs he stroked her hair to try to calm her.

Madame Pomfrey had already moved on to tend the many other patients, and Minerva, giving Severus a sympathetic smile, said "I'll leave you two to your reunion. She'll be all right now Severus. I daresay you're just what she needed."

He knew she was right. Bless Lily, if it hadn't been for her he wouldn't have known to come back.

It took a while. But eventually Tamara managed to calm down. She told him she just wanted to keep looking at him to enjoy the fact that he was here and he was alive, and that it was finally all over.

"When I see Harry Potter I'm going to kiss him" she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve.

Severus smirked, imagining Potter getting leapt upon by this wildly disheveled bloodstained woman.

"When I find out who did in that bitchly snake I've got a kiss for them too" she snarled, her eyes narrowing. She sighed, and then smiled at him. "I love you Sev. They told me that Harry killed Riddle with expelliarmus. He blew away like burnt loo paper." She laughed madly.

"Ah, you're awake Professor!" boomed a happy voice. It was Hagrid. Filch was standing behind him, looking nervous.

Tamara pulled out of Severus' embrace and flung her arms around the big hairy gamekeeper (well, as much as she could anyway). "Thank you so much Hagrid! I couldn't have ever gotten him up here on my own, you came just in time."

The big man blushed, and patted her head. "Oh, never mind that. I'm just glad we found ye." He looked over at Snape, and gave him a respectful nod. "I'm very happy to see you recovering Professor. Harry told us all what ye've been up to. It's a brave and honorable thing you did and we owe ye a lot."

Snape very carefully tilted his head in acknowledgment. He poked Tamara with his toe, and pointed at Hagrid and then at himself.

"He can't speak yet" Tam explained. "But I think he wants to thank you too."

Severus nodded again.

"You're very welcome sir. It's an honor to have been able to help. The truth is Miss Brookes here is the one who did the real work. I'm told she worked on ye all night long. When we came along… why I've never seen such a thing…" he shuddered, and blushed again. "Anyway, I'd best be gettin' along but I wanted to stop in and see how you were doing."

Filch caught Tamara's eye and she shocked everyone by giving him a hug as well. "Thank you again Argus." The caretaker's face went a bright reddish purple and he nodded to her and Snape before quickly escaping.

Their next visitor was Harry Potter. "Sir" he said to Severus. "It's good to see you. I thought you had…" he looked embarrassed. "If I'd known I would've sent some help, but I really didn't think that …"

"You did exactly what you were meant to do Harry" Tam said appreciatively, and Severus carefully nodded his agreement. "You didn't know it but I followed you to the boathouse. I wouldn't have found him in time otherwise." She grabbed his hands and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you so much for destroying that monster you wonderfully brave man."

Harry smiled at her. "You're very welcome. I had a lot of help along the way" he looked meaningfully back at Severus. "Help that I'm very grateful for."

Much to his surprise (and Tamara's as well), his old potions professor flashed him a most uncharacteristic grin and gave him a muggle thumbs up gesture. Harry laughed.

"Harry can you tell me who it was that did away with that horrid bloody snake?" Tam asked him, still obsessed.

Harry understood why she wanted to know. He'd seen the brutal attack from even closer than she had.

"It was Neville. Neville Longbottom. He cut its head off with the Sword of Gryffindor actually."

Severus let out an amused snort. _Well isn't that something? Good for Longbottom_ he thought.

Tam's grin was that of a madwoman, and Harry felt a little nervous for her.

"Fantastic!" she squealed. Then she mumbled "Bitchly bloody beast…" She shook her head quickly as if trying to shed some unpleasant memories. "If you see Neville, please send him my way so I can properly thank him."

"I will" Harry said. "He stood up to Voldemort too you know. Looked him right in the face and refused to give up. Nobody fought harder than Neville did."

Deciding that Harry might want to speak to Severus alone for a while Tamara excused herself under the pretense of looking for Mr. Longbottom. She didn't find him, but later that day Neville himself did in fact show up. He was still nursing a pronounced limp, and was looking rather beat up from the battle, but there was a confidence around him that made Tamara smile, and she could tell Sev was pleased.

Tam did give him a kiss for killing the snake, and told him that they'd wanted to see him to thank him for all he'd done during the battle, and before it, standing up so valiantly against Voldemort and his minions.

Neville had always been terrified by Professor Snape, and now Severus felt a bit of guilt at having been unfairly quite nasty to the boy. He remembered what Lily had said though; about how sometimes not making things easy was actually a favor. He hoped that was the case here. He made a decision to seek Neville out when he could speak again to properly congratulate him on his heroic efforts.

They had a lot of visitors over the next few days. The castle was already being magically repaired, and the place was still bustling with activity. There was deep sadness for those who had been lost, but simultaneously a great satisfied joy moved among them all. There was a sense of family and solidarity among everyone, even people who previously had disagreed or not even known each other. It was a moving thing to behold. Tamara felt it all with her empathic gift, and she let herself bask in it as she watched Severus slowly recover.

Horace Slughorn came to see them frequently and made Tamara promise that they would come to visit him for a dinner engagement over the summer. She truthfully looked forward to it, as she enjoyed the company of the cheerful older fellow. Severus was now able to communicate with a pencil and paper, and he teased her about her fondness for Slytherin potions professors.

Sybil Trelawney stopped by once and gave them a prediction that they would marry and have four children, and Tam had to fight back her giggles at the faces Severus made. Tam didn't mind. It was a tremendous relief not to have to hide her feelings for him anymore.

Professor Sprout brought them a lovely pot of enchanted red Snapdragons that Tam kept on the small bedside table. Severus would amuse himself by tossing the plant bits of his meals that he didn't want.

Minerva of course checked in on them every day. She kindly kept Severus supplied with books and newspapers, knowing he was desperately bored. It was much appreciated. He was getting antsy, more and more by the day, and Tamara began to worry that she wouldn't be able to keep him horizontal much longer.

Madame Pomfrey and the other healers who had been sent by the Ministry to tend to the Hogwarts wounded agreed after a little over a week that it would be ok now for Severus to move from the hospital wing back into his old quarters in the dungeon, as long as things went well when he tried to speak again. So many of the wounded had been sent to St. Mungo's that it was quite full, and the cases who were expected to fully recover, such as Sev, had been kept at Hogwarts. Tam was glad for that, as was Severus. He hated the idea of being stuck in St. Mungo's even more than he hated being stuck in the school hospital wing.

Tam waited nervously, holding his hand, as he first attempted to speak. Minerva had come to be with her in case things didn't go as they'd hoped.

"Tamara" he said, and while it was a rougher sound than he usually made, it didn't sound any worse than if he'd had a cold or a sore throat.

She grinned at him.

"I've been wanting to say this for months" he declared. "I _do_ love you and to hell with bloody Voldemort and this whole sodding mess I officially _retire_!"

McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey exchanged amused smiles, and Tamara kissed him full on the mouth, not caring who saw her.

When she finally released him he said "I want to go to your flat in London and spend a very long time getting to know you all over again without having to worry about spying, hiding, sneaking, fighting, avenging, defeating dark wizards, protecting students, or, thank you Albus, being forced to commit murder. Do you think we could manage that?"

She nodded. "Absolutely."

The healers insisted he stay for another two weeks, but he was at least allowed to move into his quarters again. Tamara of course stayed with him. She told Minerva, who was now Headmistress, that she wanted to resign from her position at the school. It was a sad decision for her, as she had spent the best and worst times of her life here, and it seemed more like home to her now than anywhere else. She knew though, that it was time to move on, at least for a while. Severus had more than earned his retirement, and she wanted to be wherever he was. She wanted to give him a chance for a life of his own, that didn't revolve around a mission to save the wizarding world.

Tam talked Madam Pomfrey into allowing them to take a stroll into Hogsmeade one afternoon. She knew it wasn't exactly exciting for Severus, after all the times he'd had to chaperone students there, but it was a trip out of the castle, anyway. They stopped into the Three Broomsticks where she got a butterbeer and he insisted on a bit of firewhiskey.

She leaned happily on his shoulder, remembering again how close she had come to losing him forever, and silently vowing to herself that she would never take his presence in her life for granted but rather cherish every moment of every day that she had with him.

Two women sat down at the table behind them and Tam heard one of them whisper (loudly) "Look Eltsie, that's him! There he is, that death eater what took over the school!"

Tamara stiffened, fighting the urge to spin around and turn the woman into a big fat toad.

The second woman scoffed. "Oh yes, they're spreading some rubbish now that he wasn't really a death eater but a spy on our side, but you know it's a load of bunk. Trying to make it out like You-Know-Who tried to kill him or some such nonsense. My nephew was up at that school while he was in charge and it was a house of horrors believe you me. They can say whatever they like, but to me it is inexcusable. I heard it was _him_ that murdered poor old Albus Dumbledore. Ought to be in Azkaban…or just flat out executed."

Tam's hand twitched, wanting to reach for her wand, and Sev laced his fingers through hers, shaking his head gently. He was asking her not to make a scene, she knew. It was unlike him to be so attacked and not have anything to say about it, and it made Tamara all the more determined to stand up for him. His lingering guilt was troubling, as she personally saw nothing for him to be guilty about, in fact quite the contrary.

"Sweet, why don't you go pay the bar maid and I'll meet you outside. I need to use the facilities" she suggested, giving him her most innocent smile, though she knew at the moment she probably looked as innocent as a rabid wolf.

He sighed, knowing better, but got up and did as she asked. Tam did in fact go to the loo, giving him time to get outside. When she came out she calmly walked over to the women at the table.

"Hello" she said sweetly.

They looked at her as if she were Bellatrix Lestrange back from the dead, and said nothing.

"I just thought you should know, I happen to be a teacher at Hogwarts myself, and I kept my post through the difficult months during the war. Severus Snape kept many children from being outright tortured and murdered while he was Headmaster there, which is what Albus Dumbledore had intended for him to do. You see, he was a very loyal friend to Albus, whatever you may have heard."

Neither of them dared look her in the eye, and they still didn't speak. She knew she was likely accomplishing nothing, but she couldn't help herself.

"If you should happen to see Mr. Snape again, look closely at the bandages around his neck. I watched Voldemort's giant snake maul him, and I was bathed in his blood desperately trying to save his life, so when I hear people speak falsehoods about him I tend to get a bit riled. You will, I can promise you, never in your lives _ever_ share airspace with a braver wizard than that one. Consider yourselves lucky for the opportunity, and consider your nephew lucky that Severus was able to protect him and the other students from what would have happened to them had he not been there. Good day to you ladies."

She didn't turn around to see their shocked expressions, as much as she wanted to. She felt it better to just keep walking. A hand reached out and touched her arm as she passed the bar.

"Miss Brookes?" It was Horace Slughorn. "Tamara? That was a lovely thing you just did for Severus. I know it doesn't come close to what you've already done in saving his life, but… it was very admirable of you to defend him that way. He'd have been terribly embarrassed if he'd seen it, but it was the right thing to do. I wanted to tell you that, and to let you know that should I hear a word said against him I too will be sure to correct the offender."

She was deeply touched by what he said, and felt her eyes misting. "Thank you Horace. That means a lot. I'm sure we haven't heard the last of it by any means, so knowing that there are those who will speak on his behalf…" she swallowed hard so she wouldn't start to sob. She moved forward and gave Slughorn a tight hug.

He patted her on the back. "No trouble, no trouble at all. After everything I think it is the least we can do to see to it that the stories are told correctly." She saw his eyes travel back in the direction of the women she had spoken to, and letting her curiosity finally win, she glanced at them as well. To her satisfaction, they looked decidedly ashamed.

When Tam stepped outside she saw Severus outside talking to Neville Longbottom. She had to smile, as she knew all too well that Neville had feared his old potions teacher for several years. That was all in the past now, as Neville had recently proven that he didn't fear anything anymore. She caught the tail end of their conversation.

"Thank you Professor, that really means a lot coming from you sir" Neville was saying.

Severus extended his hand to the young man and Neville shook it happily. Tamara had to fight tears yet again. All of the emotions she had felt recently, both of her own, and coming from everyone else… she felt very overwhelmed much of the time.

When she reached them Neville gave her a big smile, which she returned before they started back to the castle and he headed into the Three Broomsticks.

"What did you say to him?" she asked.

"What did you say to those nasty old hags?" he asked her with a sly smirk.

She giggled. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Wouldn't you like to know what I said to Mr. Longbottom?"

She sighed, knowing she was beaten. "I simply set them straight on a few facts. Horace Slughorn heard me and said that he would do the same should he hear any more garbage like that. It's nice to have good friends. A lot of them are more like family really."

To her surprise, he nodded. "Yes, I'm beginning to notice that. I wanted to tell Neville that I am very impressed with the wizard he has grown into. By all accounts he put up a singularly ferocious fight, and I thought it appropriate to congratulate him."

Tam smiled again. "That's excellent Sev."


	26. Moving On

When he was finally deemed fit for release, after saying their many bittersweet goodbyes, they did as he had requested and went to her little flat in London. The first thing he did was go into her bedroom and change into muggle clothing. He had never worn it much in the past, only when it had seemed necessary, but now, starting over at last, he thought it would be a nice change. Plus, the way Tamara had reacted the first time she'd seen him dressed as a muggle made it worthwhile, and he was hoping she'd like this too.

He noticed a picture on the bedside table and picked it up. It was a small wiggling baby with turquoise hair. He took it out to Tamara in the living room.

"Have you seen this?" he asked. "You didn't mention you had a picture."

"What?" she took it from him, and seeing the baby she started to tear up, feeling that ache in her chest that crept up whenever she thought of Remus and Tonks. "Oh, it's little Teddy" she said. "Remus must have been here at some point and left it. He does that… er… he did that on occasion. We rented this place together originally, and he would visit off and on. I always told him it was still his place too, should he need one. He'd come and leave me little things while I was away at Hogwarts so I could come home and find them."

"I'm sorry about Remus" Severus said, wishing he could do something to ease her sadness. A part of her had died with the werewolf, and he knew it.

She smiled at him. It was the first time she had ever heard him refer to her friend by his first name. "Thanks. I'll be ok." She then noticed what he was wearing and giggled. "You did that on purpose didn't you?" referring to his outfit.

He shrugged, but his smirk gave him away. He had put on a sleek black sweater and his usual plain black trousers. "I admit I'm a bit disappointed that you don't find yourself about to melt into a… what was it again? A stupid puddle of lovesick twit pudding, I believe?"

Her face went red and her jaw dropped. "Why you sneaky bugger! You _did _read my mind that night!"

He tried, rather unsuccessfully, to look innocent. "I don't _read minds _I am a legilimens. Besides, it was an accident, actually, though I can't say that I regret it."

Tam giggled again. "Well who says I'm not turning into lovesick twit pudding right now as well?"

He lifted her chin with his fingers and looked deeply into her eyes. A quick legilimens spell told him what he wanted to know, and he grinned evilly. "Hmm, so you are. Fascinating. Does that happen to you often?"

She nodded, laughing. "Yes, it seems to happen quite frequently when you're around. Must be some sort of coincidence I suppose."

She could tell he was loving this. "When did it first occur? Perhaps we can get to the bottom of it."

Tam shook her head, still laughing. "Actually, it happened several years back when I crashed into a wizard in the hallway at Hogwarts. I looked up at him and that was it… lovesick twit, all the way."

"Hmm. What does it feel like, becoming a lovesick twit? I'm very curious" he asked, teasing.

"Umm…" she reached under his sweater and ran her nails down his sides, lightly, so it would tickle.

He closed his eyes and made that tiger purring noise she loved.

"There's my good kitty" she said flirtatiously. "It feels rather like that, by the way."

Severus gave her a lusty look. "I see." Without another word he flung a laughing Tamara over his shoulder and took her to the bedroom. Feeling confident, he took charge this time, and Tamara was very pleasantly surprised.

A while later, lying contentedly in bed with her beloved, Tam's eyes were drawn to the angry scars that covered his neck. He was usually careful to keep them covered, not out of any vanity of his own, but for her sake. He knew they made her think of the massive snake slamming him into the glass of the boathouse, thumping with each brutal strike, and all of the blood, and when she got thinking too much about that she would get anxious and weepy. It worried him, so he did his best to keep it off of her mind.

Right now, naked, and enjoying the afterglow of some really fantastic sex, he wasn't thinking about it. When she reached over and gently ran her finger across the scars he remembered and covered her hand with his own.

"A knut for your thoughts?" he asked carefully, studying her face.

She sighed. "Bitchly bloody snake" she mumbled.

"It's over now, and I am still here" he whispered.

Tamara smiled. "Yes, you are." Her face changed though, when she went on "You were so brave. I could feel your fear, but you faced it so admirably. I don't know anyone as brave as you. Seeing that thing come at you and hearing you slammed against that glass, I felt like someone had reached in and ripped my beating heart from my chest. I thought for sure I'd just watched that horrid thing kill you."

He felt sorry that she'd had to go through that, but he was very glad she had been there. If she hadn't, he'd be dead right now rather than here in her bed with a lovely leg slung over his hip. He ran his fingers over said leg appreciatively.

"I kept thinking about what must have gone through your mind, and it made me ache wishing I could have done something to prevent it in the first place, but then I had to concentrate on keeping you alive. You spoke so kindly to him, to that bastard Riddle. I've never heard you speak so kindly to anyone, except for me I suppose, and maybe Dumbledore when you were in the right mood."

Severus shook his head. "When I speak that way to you I am being genuine, with the Dark Lord it was because I had to be convincing."

"I know" she said, "but he didn't know that. As far as he knew you were his loyal and brilliant servant. He cut you and then set that filthy bloody beast on you without a care in the world. It meant nothing to him. It was all I could do not to run in there and take him on even though I knew he'd kill me before I even made it through the door. I couldn't help you if I was dead though, and as long as there was any chance that I could save you I had to do whatever it took."

Gazing lovingly into her eyes he brushed her hair away from her face. "Thank you" he said. "Thank you for saving my life. I haven't said that yet, and I should have. Minerva told me all that you had to do. Hagrid admitted to me that he had never heard a sound come from any human like the howl you gave when you thought they wouldn't help you carry me to the castle. He said it chilled him to the bone, because he had thought me already dead."

"Oh bless sweet Hagrid's heart" she said. "I will be forever grateful to him for what he did. Then poor Filch had to peel me off of the floor when I saw Remus and Tonks. It wasn't my best moment."

"I wish I could have been there for you" he said sadly.

She shook her head. "Sev you were half dead from being sliced up by Voldemort and chewed on by that vile reptile. You had a pretty good excuse for being absent."

He kissed her nose, and she giggled.

"I saw Remus when I was unconscious you know" she said. "We were in a park we used to go to in Paris, but there was nobody else there. He told me he'd always be with me, and made me promise him I wouldn't lose my mind."

Severus smiled. "Well bless him for that."

She laughed. "Yes. First though he told me that you were going to live. Remus knew me very well."

He sighed. "I never expected to fall in love and certainly never imagined I'd have anyone fall in love with me. Dumbledore and I had a rather heated argument shortly before… he died. I begged him not to make me be the one. It wasn't just because of you, I would have resisted such a task regardless, but it was that much harder knowing that it would likely spell the end of us. It just didn't seem fair, but then, life isn't fair is it?"

She shook her head. "No, it's not, but it does seem to have its high points as well as low ones, at least. I'm glad Remus hounded me into taking the job at Hogwarts when I didn't want to and I'm glad that I wasn't paying attention in the hallway that day so I humiliated myself and crashed into you. I'm glad I was ditzy enough to ask for your password, and I'm glad that I decided to take you up on the offer of private potions lessons even though I was completely terrified."

He chuckled at that.

"I'm glad for all of those things because they all contributed to us becoming friends and falling for each other and in spite of the fact that it complicated a lot of things… it was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Severus pulled her closer to him. "If it hadn't been for you I would have had nothing to keep going for but my mission. I wouldn't have survived and I wouldn't really have wanted to, honestly. Now it seems I get to start a different life, and I can assure you it's certain to be much nicer than the first."

She grinned. "It will be if I can help it" she promised.

He smiled. "I saw someone too, before I awoke" he admitted.

She stared at him for a few seconds, thinking. "It was her?"

Severus nodded. "Yes."

"Hermione told me the truth about you and why you did what you did. Harry didn't want to because he thought I would be bothered by it I guess, but Hermione thought it was too important to leave out. You love her, Lily, Harry's mother."

He nodded again. "Yes I do." He noted her use of the present tense and appreciated it.

She searched a moment for the right words to express what was in her heart. "I've known there was someone for a long time" she said finally. "I always wondered who she was, and now I feel like I should have realized. I understand. I understand if you can't feel…"

He cut her off with a finger to her lips. "No, don't think on it that way." He looked upset. "Lily was lovely and she was a witch my age who lived near me and I watched her with fascination. We became friends mostly because I was the only one available who was like her and could explain it to her, and I know that. She was one of the very few people in my youth who showed me kindness and I loved her dearly. I longed for her to love me in return but she could not. For years I blamed James Potter for that but in truth I should have blamed myself."

Tam looked annoyed, and he knew she was going to try to speak up in his defense so he pushed his finger a little harder against her lips to deter her, but smiled as he continued.

"Don't bother telling me it wasn't my fault because I know better" he said in a teasingly chiding voice. "I had a bad life and I had absolutely no social skills… still don't most of the time, I fake it to get by… but that is beside the point. It couldn't have been helped because I didn't know how to be anything other than what I was."

He removed his finger from her mouth and gave her a soft kiss there instead.

"_You_ love me for who I am with all of my flaws and all of my unpleasantness, my past, and even after all that you have had to endure because of me. _That_ makes _you_ the one who I was truly meant for and I love you with every fiber of my being. Just as you will always carry your love for Remus so will I carry mine for Lily but it doesn't reduce our capacity to feel for each other."

She stared into his dark (almost black) eyes and felt so moved with love for him that she thought she might explode with it all.

"Severus, make love to me again" she whispered, and he did.

Severus found his early days of retirement to be rather more confusing than relaxing. He wasn't used to living his life with nothing to do. The weeks of recovery at Hogwarts had been one thing, because they had been spent there at the school where he was used to being, and they had at least been surrounded by other wizards and witches rather than in "Muggle Metropolis" as he had taken to referring to London. In spite of the rather large wizarding population in the city it was still, in his opinion, very difficult to comfortably practice magic in such a crowded urban environment.

He found himself feeling terribly out of place and bored stiff. Also, although he had tried, it just wasn't the same trying to brew up potions on Tam's little gas stove in her very muggle kitchen. Severus was longing to be back in the wizarding world, or even in the privacy of his house on Spinner's End where he at least felt comfortable _being _a wizard.

Tam had taken a job tending bar at the pub up the street in the evenings, so Severus was stuck alone most nights flipping through the useless channels on the muggle contraption… the telewhatsit…TV thing. It was hopelessly dull at best and positively offensive at worst.

One night she came home a bit later than usual, and he was in such a foul mood that he actually refused to talk to her.

"Hi Sweet. How you feeling tonight?" she asked, leaning down to where he was sprawled on the sofa to give him a kiss. He dodged her lips, and didn't respond. The TV was on but he had the sound muted.

Tamara stared at him, a bit shocked. She'd known he was growing restless but she had hoped he might get used to it enough with time to start feeling better. Apparently that was not the case. She sighed, and went in the other room to change her clothes.

After a few hours of silence, she decided that enough was enough.

"You don't have to stay you know" she said quietly. "I want you to be happy, more than anything, and you were the one who said you wanted to come here. If you've changed your mind about…"

His head snapped around and he suddenly looked very worried and quite sorry. "No. I'm sorry. It isn't your fault. I'm just a bit... frustrated." He motioned for her to come lay with him, but she didn't move. He sat up, nervous.

"I feel like a fool who tried to cage a wild bird" she said. "And then had it die of a broken heart from the loss of its freedom."

He smirked. "That's a very poetic thought but not exactly accurate. I'm not a bird, and I don't desire freedom, believe me. I desire _you_, and when you're here with me I feel just fine. It's when you have to go, which I do understand by the way, that I am reminded that I am a wizard in a world of muggles. I am dissatisfied by location, not by the company I am keeping. Please don't misunderstand. I'm sorry I took it out on you."

She didn't look any happier and he started to feel desperate.

"Tam?" His voice was higher than normal, and she felt the fear coming off of him. He never called her Tam, that was new.

She smiled. "Don't panic darling, I'm just trying to think of a solution."

He exhaled loudly, relieved, and not for the first time she was saddened by how quick he often was to expect rejection. She plopped herself into his lap to reassure him and snuggled against his chest.

"Stop it" she teased. "Doesn't matter what you do I'm not letting you go so don't get worried. You've been crabby enough over the years that I tend to either try to find a solution or just get the hell out of your way for a while, believe me it doesn't scare me away permanently."

He buried his face in her hair and breathed in the scent of her. _Pears and incense_ he thought.

"We could go somewhere else" she suggested. "I like it here because I like London, and also it reminds me of Remus, but I'm more used to living the muggle lifestyle than you are. Honestly, I miss being in the wizarding community too. It feels… better. More like we belong there."

Very pleased, he nodded. "Yes, precisely. I spent my childhood, and most of my summers since, hiding what I was in a drab urban muggle-filled nightmare. I have always felt most at home at Hogwarts, but since I am retired now, that's a bit of a complication."

"I take it you don't want to go back to Spinner's End then?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. Besides, there are certain… acquaintances of mine who are still at large that know the place. If it were just me I wouldn't worry so much but I won't have you staying somewhere that there is any risk to you."

Tamara's next suggestion, which he of course readily accepted, was that they give up the flat in London and go looking for a more country setting with a local wizard population. She didn't like the idea of giving up her flat, but Sev's savings (which were thankfully more than she had expected, as he had always been frugal) and her own (considerably less, but decent) weren't enough to buy a house and keep the flat as well. Also, she knew that it was time to focus on the future rather than the past. Remus would've been happy for her, and he was never one to get too attached to any particular location anyway.

After doing some research, they decided to pay a visit to Peebles, in Scotland. It wasn't too far from Hogwarts, and it was a smaller town with lots of green that was just over twenty miles south of Edinburgh straddling the river Tweed. There were several wizarding families in the area, and after talking to some of the locals they decided on a three bedroom house on Innerleithen Road.

It was a traditional Victorian Gamekeeper's cottage originally, which made her think of Hagrid. This house was a far cry from his little place on the Hogwarts grounds, but the name made her smile just the same. It was built out of harled stone and had a slate roof and double glazed windows. The garden nearly surrounded the entire house, and there was a large shed that Tam suggested to Severus may at some point be a good place to put a horse.

The house had a utility room, a nice sized kitchen, a dining room, a lounge, a half bath downstairs, and a full one upstairs, along with the three bedrooms. Tam insisted that a shower be installed in both bathrooms, and the agent said that he knew a good wizard contractor who he could recommend.

The agent told them that they could expect plenty of purple Scotch thistle, heather, and wild roses in the garden as spring began to give way to summer.

All in all it was absolutely perfect. On the initial tour Tam kept walking through and running her hands along the walls in wonderment, which made Severus chuckle. She hadn't had to say anything, that simple act had caused him to look at the real estate agent (a muggle man who was married to a witch and had the market cornered for catering to wizard clients) and say they'd take it.

As they went about unpacking and putting things away (which mostly consisted of Tamara putting things places and Severus moving them to other places), Tamara kept stealing glances at her beloved when he wasn't paying attention. She could tell he was pleased to be in their new home. He was wearing his usual wizard attire again, and as much as she missed seeing him in muggle clothes (the man looked very good in jeans) it was comforting to have the Severus she had grown accustomed to over the years back.

He reminded her more every day of the man he'd been when she met him, intense, strong and feisty, except now, she noticed, he smiled a lot more, talked a lot more, and was a _lot_ more playful. The stress of his years spent worrying about Voldemort seemed to have gone, and the glow of being in love was slowly undoing the damage that had come from a life of misfortune. It made her very happy to see _him_ happy.

As he stocked the large kitchen pantry with his massive collection of potions ingredients that he'd brought from his house on Spinner's End he felt so at ease he actually started to sing.

Tamara froze, almost dropping the picture frame she was in the process of hanging. Her jaw dropped as she stared at his back. The song was in French, and she could only translate a few of the words that he was saying, but she was extremely impressed. She'd always known that deep voice would be lovely in song, she'd just never in a million years thought he'd ever let her have the chance to hear it. The fact that it was in a language that she had always considered to be exceptionally beautiful was an extra treat.

Severus was aware that Tamara had gone completely silent when he started to sing. It amused him. He wasn't sure what made him do it, as ordinarily he would never even consider such a thing. He'd heard the song in a film that he'd seen on a TV documentary in London, and with his flawless memory, it had been in his head for weeks.

When he finally stopped and stood up from where he was kneeling in front of the pantry he found himself tackled and tugged in the direction of the stairs, and subsequently their bedroom.

Afterwards, with her head resting on his bare shoulder Tamara said "I didn't know you could do that."

He raised his eyebrow at her comically. "I think I'm offended."

She laughed "No, not _that_ I meant singing. Or the French. I didn't know about that either."

He shrugged. "You know I read a lot, the French shouldn't be so surprising. As for the singing, I have told you before that I _don't _sing I didn't say I _can't_ sing."

"What changed?"

Severus smirked. "Everything, apparently" he said quietly. "Don't expect it to happen often though."

Tam laughed. "Well you're very good at it, as I have always suspected you would be." She looked around, and thought for the millionth time that it was really wonderful to be here with him in a place they had chosen together in such a beautiful town where they could start a life together. The possibilities were endless.

Severus interrupted her daydream when he spoke. "Tamara?"

"Hmm?"

"I have something that I want to give to you. I actually had it in my desk at Hogwarts with instructions that it be given to you if I died. Since I didn't die, it is now in my jacket pocket over there on the floor."

Laughing, she called his jacket to them with her wand. He fished around in an inner pocket and kept whatever it was he removed in the palm of his hand. He looked at her and she thought he seemed a bit nervous. She brushed his hair back off his shoulders and out of his face, and waited, curious.

Finally, with a sigh, he opened his palm. It was a very pretty gold ring with a large dark red stone in the middle and some small diamonds on the sides. "It was my mother's. A Prince family heirloom I believe."

She smiled. "It's beautiful. A garnet. Your birthstone."

Severus nodded. "Yes. A coincidence, but the reason why I chose to keep it. I was wondering if since I am not dead, you would possibly want to have it…" he swallowed. "As a wedding ring?"

Tamara wanted to say something but couldn't. Time itself seemed to have frozen in that instant so that she couldn't move or make a sound. All she could do was stare at him. After a few minutes he started to worry.

"If you don't want to talk about that now…"

His voice brought her out of her shock induced stupor and she shook her head. "No! I mean, not no, but YES!" She started to giggle deliriously. "Yes! I would love to have it as a wedding ring."

He smiled and handed her the ring. "When?" he asked softly.

She started giggling again as she tried it on.

"Oh dear she's at it again…" he teased.

"As soon as possible" she laughed. Then, getting an evil idea, she said "But then again… it will take a while to plan the massive wedding I intend to have…"

Severus gave her a dirty look and she fell into yet another giggling fit.

"Ok, ok, I'm kidding of course. I do want to do _something_ nice, but not a big fuss. That doesn't suit either of us, and I wouldn't subject you that sort of hell."

He looked extremely relived. "Thank all that is holy for that" he mumbled. "What did you have in mind?"

She looked thoughtful. "Umm… well maybe we could do it during summer break at Hogwarts by the lake? Kingsley's Minister of Magic now, he could marry us. That would be nice. We could invite a few people. Does that sound ok?"

She could tell by his face that if it were up to him they would quietly slip into the ministry and have it over with in secret but he forced a smile, which she appreciated, and said "What the lady desires she shall have."

Excited, she hopped out of bed and grabbed her clothes. "Ok I have to write to Minerva…"

Smirking, he put his mother's ring into the night table drawer where it would be safe until they needed it. _What have I gotten myself into now?_

* * *

><p><em>I have to admit, the part where Severus was singing in French was inspired by me listening on youtube to a song that Alan Rickman sang on an audiobook that he recorded. If you look up "Alan Rickman singing in French" you can find it. It's fun, and it'll give you an idea of what it might sound like if Severus actually decided to do such a thing. -)<em>


	27. Making Plans and Making Amends

Tamara sent off an owl to Minerva, which she felt was honestly overdue anyway. She missed the older woman's friendship and the wisdom she had come to rely on over the last several years, and she felt sorry that she'd waited so long to correspond. They'd been gone from Hogwarts for nearly a year now, and so much had happened since then it ended up being a very long letter. She closed it by asking if it would be all right for them to marry at Hogwarts in the summer, and asking if Minerva would stand with her as she married Severus. When an owl arrived at their front windowsill a few hours later she was surprised that the Hogwarts Headmistress had responded so quickly.

A look at the envelope told her however that the letter had not come from Minerva, but someone else. The seal on the envelope was silver, and it was addressed to Severus at Spinner's End, but had presumably been forwarded. It gave Tam an uneasy feeling, and she sat down next to him as she handed it over.

"This came just now. I thought it was a response from Minerva but it's for you, and that's not her writing."

As soon as he looked at the seal on the back his eyebrows raised. "No, not from Minerva. This is from Lucius Malfoy."

Tamara's eyes widened. "Oh my. What in the world could he want from you? I'm surprised he isn't back in Azkaban honestly, but the Prophet said he'd been pardoned."

Severus reluctantly (and very cautiously, Tam noticed) broke the seal on the envelope and removed the letter. As he read Tamara watched his face for any clues to what it may contain.

Finally he said "He wants to meet with me. He's requested I go to his house this Saturday to talk to him."

She shook her head. "Over my dead body! No way in hell are you going there. Absolutely not."

Severus sighed. He'd expected her to react that way. "No, I won't be going to his house. That would be very foolish. However dearest, I'm afraid I am going to meet with him somewhere this Saturday. I'll suggest somewhere private enough to suit his current situation while also neutral enough not to put myself at a disadvantage. Please don't fuss."

She leveled a glare at him that could have peeled the old fashioned paper right off of the walls and said "Fuss? I bathed in your blood last year, spending a hellish night keeping you alive by sheer force of will, and now when you say you're traipsing off for a sit down with a death eater you tell me not to _fuss_?" She had never held saving his life over his head, and she felt a bit guilty doing it now, but her rationale was that if reminding him this once would keep him away from Lucius Malfoy then it was worth it.

To her surprise, he actually smiled. "Your ordeal that night does not go unappreciated" he said patiently. "I will not repay you by getting myself killed now, don't fear. I realize it seems unwise and likely unnecessary but I ask you to humor me this once. Lucius and Narcissa were friends of mine, of a sort, and playing host to… _Him_… took a great toll on both of them. By the end I believe they only continued on with it all out of the knowledge that they would die if they didn't. Also, you may remember that I have always taken personal interest in the welfare of their son. I have heard nothing of him since they fled Hogwarts."

His calm and understandable explanation was like a bucket of cold water over the fire of her temper and she knew she was beaten. "Then let me at least go with you. You don't need to go alone."

Now it was time for his eyes to narrow. "Do you recall what happened the last time I presented you to the Malfoys?"

At this she had to laugh. "I do, and honestly as I remember it you were much more upset about the whole thing than I was. You yourself swore that he slipped me that love potion thinking he was doing you a favor, and that's why you continued to associate with him."

He rolled his eyes. "I continued to associate with him because Dumbledore said that I needed to, I just couldn't tell _you_ that at the time. Regardless, I don't want you anywhere near them. Not at this point." He hesitated, and she knew he was thinking of how to explain something difficult.

"I kept you a very guarded secret when it came to the dark lord and his associates. Lucius knew you existed because he met you, but I always led him to believe that you had rejected me because I was a half-blood and that we only interacted after that as casual friends. If the dark lord had been aware that there was anyone in the world that I cared for he would have used that to his advantage. We would very likely both be dead right now. If I can be satisfied that Lucius is truly repentant then I will tell him the truth about our present situation but I need to have that be at my discretion. Also dearest, it will be easier for me to protect myself alone than it would be to protect both of us."

She knew he had several good points. "How is it you always manage to be right even when I don't want you to be?" she asked, annoyed.

He smirked. "Practice."

She laughed.

A very sly look came onto his face and he said "Speaking of the Malfoys… I kept a secret from you all those years ago, about the incident at their Christmas party."

Intrigued, she was the one to raise an eyebrow. "Oh did you? What exactly?"

He looked extremely pleased and also extremely mischievous. "The reason that it took me so long to find an antidote to that potion was that I was at first incorrect as to what its purpose had actually been. It was Dumbledore who made me realize my mistake from talking to you that night. He said that your demeanor suggested discomfort rather than delusion and told me that you seemed quite lucid and rational when talking to him about me. That's when I realized that Lucius didn't put a love potion in your drink it was actually just a very powerful aphrodisiac."

She laughed again. "That explains a lot. I always assumed that because I was already madly in love with you by then that the potion couldn't actually make me feel any more that way. It just had me absolutely mad for a shag, and since you were the one I wanted to shag anyway, well…"

His deep baritone laughter echoed in the lounge. "That was what Dumbledore tried to insinuate at the time but of course I refused to believe such a thing. I insisted both to him and myself that there had been some sort of suggestion put into the potion as to who it should make you… er… hot for, as it were. In hindsight I know that it wouldn't have been necessary." He grinned. "I've always wondered if Lucius knew that or if he just left it up to chance as to whether or not you'd actually end up bedding me or someone else."

She thought about that for a moment. "That's a good question. He'd only met me once previously but I did hang onto your arm that day at the Quidditch match. I didn't like the way he talked to you so I thought it'd be a good way to show him where my loyalty was. I suppose he could have realized that I fancied you. Minerva knew because I told her…"

"And Dumbledore knew it from the moment you crashed into me in the hall" he finished.

"Did he?" she asked, amused. "I suspected he had me pegged by some of the comments he made over the years."

"He tried to give me a few hints now and again but I ignored them, of course. He didn't actually come out and tell me the truth until that day you came to tell me off in his office. Invaluable that portrait" he said. "It was he who told me to go to my old quarters. Somehow I suppose he knew you'd be there. When I came back the next morning he kept chuckling quietly and giving me cheeky little winks. I could have cheerfully killed him again at that point."

"Remind me to kiss that portrait when we go there this summer" she giggled. She made a mental note of how he had referred to it as Dumbledore's office even though he himself had actually been Headmaster at that time.

"Speaking of this summer…" she said, noticing him cringe. "We really should talk about that. I want you to be a part of deciding things as it's your wedding too."

She could tell he was forming his response with great care. _Smart man _she thought.

Finally he said "That W word I find a bit distasteful." He met her eyes to see if she planned to hex him. When she didn't he continued. "That bit of it is all yours my sweet, and I don't begrudge you… but all I wish to claim as my own is a marriage to you. A _lifetime_ with you. The rest is superfluous as far as I'm concerned."

Tamara tried not to look hurt, even though she was. She knew that spending the rest of their lives together was enough, and after all he'd been through she didn't want to make him do anything he didn't want to, but deep inside she couldn't help but be disappointed by the thought of not getting to celebrate their marriage with all the people who had been such a part of them getting together in the first place.

"It's ok" she said, faking a smile and giving him a hug. "Forget it; we'll do it the easy way at the ministry ok?"

Her performance didn't convince him for a second, but the fact that she tried to put on a brave face touched him. He suddenly felt a bit guilty. Why should she have to miss out on something that was obviously important to her because he was afraid of people looking at him? That was really what it came down to, though he wasn't about to tell her that. It was stage fright. He'd spent years in peril, endured torture, and bravely faced his own death (and a painful and terrifying death it had been) but he was positively petrified of standing in front of a bunch of people that he _already knew_, some of them that he'd known for most of his life in fact, to marry his beautiful lover. He was afraid of the very idea to the point where he felt sick and his palms got clammy whenever it was mentioned. He knew it was ridiculous, and very selfish.

No, it just wouldn't do. She had spent these nearly seven years planted firmly at his side through everything that had gone on, had been his most fervent (and for a while only) supporter in his darkest hours (against _everyone's_ advice), had saved his life through the tenacity of her love for him, and now that she was prepared to pledge herself to him for the rest of her days he was going to deny her a wedding day out of cowardice? Certainly not, he decided. He was not a coward, and he would do anything for her.

Making a quick decision Severus put his fingers under Tamara's chin and tilted her face up to look at him. He smiled at her and kissed her softly. "No my love. On second thought, why should I deny myself the privilege of seeing you next to that lake in a stunning gown vowing your undying love for me? Seems a waste, really, not to take the opportunity."

His reward was her teary eyed smile, and it was all he'd hoped for.

"In fact" he went on, "I do actually have a few ideas now that I think about it. How do you feel about handfasting? I'd considered suggesting an unbreakable vow, but I don't want you to die if you ever happen to fall out of love with me." His eyes were mischievous, and she laughed.

"That's a lovely idea. The handfasting bit" she giggled. "Although I'd take an unbreakable vow if you asked me to. Being without you would be worse than death anyway. I'm going to the library in town today so I'll look it up and see what handfasting involves."

"Good" he said. "Another thing, if I'm supposed to have a say in all of this business then I have another request. None of that vile supposedly _exotic_ tripe that they always tried passing off as food at the school balls. Nobody likes it, and speaking as someone who once had the misfortune of having it chucked up on his shoes, I'd like some proper food for our wedding."

Tamara's smile grew with his demands, so he figured he may as well keep on. "Also, don't they have cake at these things generally? Have it chocolate." He cocked his head, thinking. "How about that sort of chocolate you used to get in Hogsmeade and slip in my desk when you thought I wasn't looking? It had that yellowy sticky sweet stuff in it. That was nice."

"Caramel?" she asked, clearly delighted by his sudden interest in their impending nuptials.

"Yes, that. I always liked that. Never told you, but you must've guessed by the wrappers." He smirked, remembering. "What are you going to wear?" he asked, and then suddenly, getting an unpleasant thought, he frowned. "What am _I _expected to wear?"

She was laughing now, and her eyes were wet from amusement rather than any sadness. "Now I've done it. I asked for your opinions and I'm going to get them now aren't I?" she giggled, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand.

"Yes. Really though" he looked worried. "What am I supposed to wear?"

"Well" she said slyly. "We do live in Scotland, and we'll be married in Scotland… you could wear a…"

Knowing what she was going to say he glared at her. "No. Way. In. Hell."

She laughed again. "I was kidding" she gasped, her sides starting to ache. "You've got lovely legs for a man, but you're not the kilt wearing kind, I know. Relax love; I think you have impeccable style so I'll leave that up to you. My only wish is that you make sure you comb your hair. Other than that, I won't try to dictate. Well. You should wash your hair too. Maybe twice?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "I do wash my hair" he complained. "It just doesn't help, unfortunately."

"All right, all right, never mind."

"And you? Seems a bit dishonest to go with white" he said cheekily. "Besides I think you're far too saucy for white. It wouldn't do you justice."

Tamara grinned. "Don't worry, I have some ideas."

A response from the Hogwarts Headmistress did arrive the following morning, and as Tam had expected, McGonagall was very pleased by their engagement. She told them that they could absolutely be married at Hogwarts, and that she would love to stand up with Tamara for the ceremony. She also volunteered the services of her two brothers as bagpipers.

On Friday night Tamara started to get nervous. She knew that Sev had exchanged a few more owls with Lucius arranging their meeting, and he would be leaving in the morning. He'd reluctantly informed her that he wouldn't be coming back until Sunday night. Since it appeared that the Malfoys didn't know his current residential address, he thought it wise to take his time coming home to throw off anyone who may try to follow him.

He was well aware of her anxiety, as she clung to him extra tight that night. Every time he moved at all in bed she would move with him, as if afraid to lose his touch for even a moment. It made him sorry for her, and he made a silent promise to himself that he would not put her through such a thing again.

Tamara made him breakfast in the morning and sent him off with a kiss. He thanked her for understanding and promised that he would be home Sunday night without delay. She told him that he had better be.

She decided to go through some of the library books she had checked out on Scottish wedding traditions as a distraction from worrying about him. Honestly this little trip served as an unpleasant reminder of the days and nights of worry when he would be summoned off by Voldemort and she was left waiting to see what sort of shape he would return in.

The uninterrupted hours did provide her with the time to accomplish most of the planning that she had needed to do, which was one good outcome of the whole thing, she thought. Of course if something should happen which caused her to be without her groom then it would all be for naught anyways. She forced that particular thought out of her head, and flipped through her calendar to look for a potential wedding date.

Suddenly, realizing the current date in May she became aware of two things. Firstly, they had completely missed the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts in which Severus had nearly lost his life, and Tamara's other two best friends _had_ lost their lives. Secondly… something else had been missed as well. Something very important.

In a state of shock, Tamara dropped into a kitchen chair. The last had been around April first, she remembered. Now it was May fifteenth. That put her at just over two weeks late, which, from her basic anatomy knowledge and mathematical skills translated to, potentially, six weeks pregnant. "Bloody hell" she whispered to herself, for the first time actually rather glad that Severus was away. Explaining this to him was not going to be easy.

Of course she realized that it was entirely her own fault. Over the last year they hadn't once worried about taking any precautions. It was actually a wonder this sort of problem hadn't arisen sooner. Sev had absolutely no experience in this area before her, she knew, and therefore it was entirely her responsibility… and she had failed in it completely. All she could do now was hope, if she was in fact expecting, that he would be pleased rather than horrified.

She made a quick trip down to the muggle pharmacy in town, but upon returning home she decided against taking the test. She didn't want to do it without him present. It felt wrong, like a betrayal. She put the test box in the bathroom cupboard to wait for his return.

That night, she lay awake for hours before finally falling into a fitful sleep. For the first time in months, she had a nightmare about that dark and bloody night in the boathouse, and also about Remus being cut down by Dolohov. She hadn't been there to witness it in reality, but her dream showed her no such mercy.

Severus spent his day at his house on Spinner's End. He hadn't told Tamara where the meeting was to take place because he wouldn't have put it entirely past her to suddenly show up. At five o'clock exactly Lucius had arrived. They talked over brandy, or rather, for roughly the first half hour, they _didn't _talk over brandy.

"I know that you haven't lived here for quite a while Severus. No need to pretend old boy" Lucius finally said mildly. "I can understand your mistrust. I would feel the same in your situation I'm sure, but I mean you no harm. In fact, I am here because I want to apologize."

Not allowing the surprise to show on his face, Severus stared his old friend in the eyes. "Apologize for what exactly?"

"For sending you to him that night. I honestly didn't know, when he asked for you, that his purpose was to… do what he did. I wanted you to know that." Lucius still looked but a shadow of his former self. He was nearly as gaunt and haunted looking as he'd been a year ago at the height of the conflict. Severus felt a bit sorry for him.

"Even if you had known, there would have been nothing you could've done to prevent it" he said.

Lucius looked uncomfortable. "Yes, well… is it true what they say? Your pretty music teacher, did she really perform a heroic rescue?"

Severus smiled slightly. "Yes. Otherwise I would not be sitting here now."

The blonde wizard returned the smile. "Well, well. I think, my friend, that you told me a bit of a fib, did you not? Rumor has it that the two of you are shacked up in London currently. She wasn't averse to your mixed blood after all was she?"

"No, she wasn't. I had to keep the nature of our feelings secret for her safety. We've left London now for somewhere a bit more comfortable. We're to be married this summer, when exactly, I haven't yet been informed."

Lucius raised his glass. "Well here's to you and the future Mrs. Snape then."

"Thank you. How are your wife and son doing these days Lucius?" It was this that had concerned him the most. He wasn't sure what exactly it was that made him feel protective over Narcissa and Draco, but he had left Tamara alone in Scotland mostly so he could find out about their wellbeing.

"Draco is well. He's still… affected… by the events of last year, but he is strong, and is still young. I daresay he shall still manage a decent future with a bit more time to put it all behind him. Narcissa is thankful that we are all still alive. She has, as have I, become more appreciative of the simple things, like survival." His smile held a trace of bitterness, as well as, Severus noted, guilt.

"I can relate" he said.

"I'm sure you can" he said gravely. "Well, I really should be going now Severus, I hate to keep you away from your fiancé. I do hope that sometime in future we can meet again, perhaps with families in tow. I meant it when I said I wish you no harm. We owe you, you know. You helped undo him. I was pardoned but can never be forgiven for my mistakes, whereas you… you saw the reality that none of the rest of us could understand until it was too late. You were the strongest of us, truly, because you could see through him. You were never really under his thumb at all were you? I am truly humbled by your courage old friend."

Severus wasn't sure how to respond. He actually felt more discomfort from being praised as a hero than he did when people whispered that he was a traitor. He decided to avoid the subject altogether.

"Give my regards to Narcissa and Draco" he said politely.

Lucius shook his head, smiling. "I will, as long as you pass mine onto the lovely Miss Brookes. You never could take a compliment Severus. Take care of yourself."

Even though he was quite certain that Lucius was being genuine, and there was no threat, Severus still decided to spend the night at Spinner's End just in case. He hadn't realized how much it would bother him to be away from Tamara, and there was no sleep for him that night. He sat up in his favorite raggedy old chair thinking about what she might be doing. Was she asleep, dreaming? Was she sitting awake as he was, missing him as much as he did her? He knew he wouldn't wait to return to her until nightfall after all, but would apparate back to Scotland at dawn instead.


	28. Whenever I'm Alone With You

_I did some research on traditions for this chapter and I hope it helped. This was a really fun part to write! I hope you enjoy reading it! I love hearing from people, so please let me know._

* * *

><p>Tamara was awoken in the morning by soft kisses on her forehead, and at first confused, she swatted Severus in the face. He laughed, and that brought her back to full consciousness. She sat up and flung herself at him.<p>

"It's nice to see you too" he purred. "Did you miss me?"

She couldn't speak to say yes or no, she was too overwhelmed. She simply clung to him, shaking. The combination of relief that he was home safe, and_early_, combined with the prospect of telling him that she needed to take a pregnancy test had rendered her completely dumbstruck.

Concerned, he took her face in his hands and made her look him in the eye. "What's wrong?" he asked suspiciously.

She shook her head, and irritated, he tried to push into her mind. For the first time ever, she tried to resist. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep him out of her thoughts if he really wanted in, but he respected her refusal and stopped trying. His expression however, showed his feelings on the matter.

"I will not violate your privacy against your will at this point, but if there is something wrong that concerns your health or safety then I expect you to enlighten me or consider your thoughts fair game. That is part of the price of being the one I love I'm afraid" he said, deadly serious, she knew.

She sighed. "I know, it's ok, I just have to… I have to collect myself to be able to explain this, and I don't want you to find out by fishing in my head. That wouldn't be right."

He stared at her, a mixture of worry, annoyance, and confusion obvious in his expression.

"To answer your question, of course I missed you." She wrapped her arms around him again and he embraced her back, which was comforting. "As to what is… well, I don't know if I would say wrong, necessarily, it's just… a possibility that will have an impact…"

She could tell by his face that he was losing his patience rapidly so she decided to just spit it out.

"I'm late" she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "For what? Did you have an appointment? What does that have to do with anything?"

She laughed out loud at his question. She knew it would only make things worse, but she couldn't help it. "No, that's not…" she kept laughing, and she could tell he was downright angry now. "Oh bloody hell. I think I might be pregnant."

The anger left his face and was immediately replaced by shock. In fact, in all the years she had known him she had never seen him look so completely gobsmacked.

"Well" she said. "That was the first time I'm ever managed to 'stupefy' someone without using my wand."

He kept staring at her in utter disbelief, and she began to get very uncomfortable.

"I got a test" she went on. "There are two of them in the box actually, but I didn't want to take them until you got back. I didn't think that would be right. Shall I do that now?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes. How do you?" he asked quietly. "What is it?"

"It's a muggle thing. I'd rather not go into it if it's all the same, but I'll show it to you after, depending on what it says."

"That will tell you?" he asked. He sounded so naïve and childlike at that moment that she felt rather sorry for him. This wasn't his fault at all, it was hers, but it would affect him just the same.

"Yes. I'm sorry, I should have been thinking about this. I can't believe that in an entire year I never once considered the possibility that there should be some precaution taken. Honestly it's odd that it didn't happen sooner." She realized that she was rambling a bit. "I'm really sorry Sev."

He shook his head, still looking stunned. "There is no reason to be sorry, I wasn't experienced but I'm not stupid" he said. "I do know how one comes to be in that condition" now he looked a little insulted actually. "I'm just as responsible as you are. Go and get on with it please."

She hopped up, knowing that he was right that it was best to get it over with. She stepped out of the loo across the hall a few minutes later, and faced his expectant look.

"It takes a few minutes" she said. "I don't really want to look, would you?"

He shrugged. "What exactly am I looking for?"

"There will be two lines for yes, only one for no."

Severus nodded. "All right." He studied her face. "And what are we hoping for? Two lines or one?"

That was a very good question indeed. One she really wasn't sure how to answer. She sat back down on the bed next to him. "I hadn't really thought of that" she admitted. "What's your thought?"

"I don't know if I should answer that."

Tamara sighed. "Please do. It'll help me decide."

He said nothing, and she knew he wouldn't allow her to base her feelings on his, not on this. For the moment, she was on her own, and he wanted an answer.

She thought about it, and remembered what Remus had said to her in her vision of him after his death last year. She had said that she would get the_chance_ to give Severus "plenty of black haired babies." She remembered how nice that had sounded at the time, when she had only just found out that he would live. She smiled.

"Shall we hope for two?"

His grin was positively joyful, and it was such a strange expression for him that she had to laugh.

"Yes let's." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "So when do I go in there?"

"You can go now."

He went in slowly, almost reverently, and it made her smile. She waited for him to return, but when he did at first his face held no clue to the results._Typical. Cheeky bugger._

Then he crossed his arms and leaned on the bedroom door jam, looking smug. "Fancy a guess?"

She grinned at him. "Well you look a lot more pleased with yourself standing like that than disappointed, so I think I have my answer."

He chuckled. "Quite pleased with myself actually, considering everything. For me, this is all quite miraculous you see. In the last year I have finally won at love, cheated death, admittedly with help, thank you again dear," she laughed at him, and smirking he went on. "Seen the end of a certain troublesome dark wizard, retired, and bought a lovely house. In a few short months I will be married, and then a few more months after that I'll have achieved fatherhood. I feel like I should be buying lottery tickets or attempting a global takeover."

She laughed again. "I see your point. It does limit our range of wedding dates though, unfortunately. I had planned on August but now I think we probably shouldn't risk much past the first of July."

His smile was sly. "I don't know, I think August would be fine. Late August even."

Tamara rolled her eyes. "Oh yes, I know you'd enjoy bringing me out to parade in front of our friends and former colleagues scandalously round as a bloody pumpkin if for nothing more than proof that you'd got laid."

Severus laughed. "No, I was joking actually. I don't want anyone to know, not yet. It should be between us for now." He looked thoughtful. "Although, perhaps it would be a good opportunity to ask the godparents."

"Who did you have in mind?" she asked, curious. "I'd like Minerva for the godmother."

He nodded. "I agree. As to my choice of godfather, I'd rather ask him first, but don't fret, you'll approve."

Tam did get a move on and finalize the plans for their wedding at Hogwarts sooner than she had originally intended to. She had a local muggle seamstress get started on her dress, and she knew that Sev would be impressed. She sent out invitations, and was surprised (though she knew she probably shouldn't have been) by the size of the guest list.

The day would be July seventh, a Wednesday. It was random, but she liked the idea of the seventh day of the seventh month. In spite of her promise not to tell Severus what to wear, she did make one suggestion.

"Wear a green robe" she said. "Dark green like you used to sometimes wear to the Quidditch matches.

He looked curious. "Why?"

"Coordination my dear."

It wasn't long before the very small life that they had created began to make his or her presence known to them. Tamara began waking up in the early hours of the morning needing to be sick, and the nausea could recur at any random time during the day so she became reluctant to leave the house.

She also noticed herself getting extremely tired in the early afternoons. More than once Severus had found her asleep in the garden or at the kitchen table, and had to carry her in to bed. He didn't tell her, but he found it rather endearing. Knowing that her fatigue was coming from her body's effort to construct their child made him appreciate it, and he felt that it was his responsibility to do all he could to make things easier for her. For the first time since leaving Hogwarts he felt he really had a purpose.

With Tam's consent, Severus painted one of the extra bedrooms in Slytherin silver and green. He did it by hand rather than with magic and it gave him a great sense of satisfaction. He knew it was a bit premature, as their child may not end up in the Hogwarts house that its father had, but he couldn't help but hope. The nursery furniture they ordered was black, naturally, made of ebony, like their wands. That had been Tamara's idea.

As the month of June came to a close, and July the seventh loomed closer, thankfully most of the sickness had passed. Tam wasn't showing yet, but at her last dress fitting she did notice that it was tighter than it had been originally.

Severus had taken to reading up as much as possible on the condition of human pregnancy and gestational development. Tamara wasn't surprised, and hadn't expected any less. He kept her updated on everything that was going on inside her uterus, and she would smile, all the while thinking of how much she loved him and how thankful she was that she had him with her. She was aware every day that it could have been very different.

When she remembered back over the years, thinking of how much had changed, she still felt awed by it. Honestly, nobody in her life knew her as well as Severus did, not even Remus had understood some facets of her personality. She also knew beyond a doubt that there was no one, ever, who had come to understand Severus Snape anywhere near on the level that she did. Over the years many people who had become aware of their friendship, and of course their later relationship, had been totally astounded by it. Nobody who had known the surly Potions Master of Hogwarts would have ever guessed he could find his soul mate in someone like Tamara. Except, she suspected, possibly Albus Dumbledore.

When Sev and Tam arrived at Hogwarts on July sixth they were abruptly separated by some of their guests. Horace Slughorn insisted that Severus needed to have a night out with the "lads" before he was married, and Tamara agreed. Naturally Sev himself was less than convinced, but he relented when they told him all he had to do was go down to the Three Broomsticks and get drunk with them.

Horace, along with Rubeus Hagrid, Arthur Weasley, Filius Flitwick, Argus Filch, and, to Tamara's delight (and Sev's immense discomfort) Harry Potter, Ron and George Weasley, and Neville Longbottom, took Severus out to the bar. Tam wished she could be a fly on the wall in the Broomsticks that night.

Tamara found herself invited to cocktails in the headmistress's quarters with Minerva, Pomona Sprout, Sybill Trelawney, Poppy Pomfrey, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, and Molly and Ginny Weasley. It was a terrific girls' night in, and Tam found herself wishing that Nymphadora Tonks could have been there as well. She missed the delightfully spunky auror.

Of course, due to her pregnancy, Tam couldn't drink herself, so she claimed to be allergic. Nobody looked suspicious (although they did look a bit confused) aside from Madam Pomfrey, who smirked knowingly. There wasn't going to be any fooling an experienced medi-witch with an excuse like that.

"I shall never forget the first time I met you Tamara" Minerva recalled, smiling as she poured some more vodka into her own cranberry juice. "You looked like someone had kicked you in the derriere. Professor Dumbledore later recounted your less than ideal meeting with Severus, when you crashed face-first into him in the hallway. Naturally my question was what did Severus do? Albus smiled at me and said that he may very well have fallen in love."

The assembled women all laughed.

She went on "I thought Albus must've been out of his mind to even think such a thing, but it didn't take long for me to notice the way he looked at you. Severus never looked at _anyone_ as frequently as he did you. It was the _frequency_ of the looks that gave it away as opposed to any particular expression. I felt a bit sorry for him actually until that day you came to me and confessed you fancied him as well. I wondered how long it would take for the two of you to sort everything out."

Molly Weasley spoke up. "Oh I knew it right away. At the order meetings, if you didn't arrive with him, which was rare, as you usually did, you'd wait by the window and look for him till he showed up. Then you'd watch his every move and hang on his every word. Never thought I'd see Sirius Black so effectively shamed by anyone, let alone a sweet young witch such as yourself, but you gave him such a telling off that one day… hoo!"

Tam smiled. "Oh sweet Sirius! I adored him, truly, and I wish I'd had more time to know him. He was a good friend. I usually tried to stay out of his bickering with Severus because I didn't want to be stuck in the middle of that mess. One day though I decided that I had heard a certain nasty nickname one time too many and I snapped."

Molly was laughing. "Oh you certainly did! Tamara drew her wand and told Sirius that if she ever heard him utter _that name_in her presence ever again she would give him a right good hexing, and they would no longer be on friendly terms. He looked so surprised! Of course she then turned to Severus and said he'd better lay off his snark as well because she didn't want to hear any more nonsense out of either of them. They didn't stop bickering of course, but they were a lot more careful around her after that, the both of them!"

She smiled kindly at Tamara "Remus got a good laugh out of that after we got out of the room" she confided. "He thought it was brilliant. He thought a great deal of you."

Tam nodded. "I thought a lot of him too" she said quietly. "I miss him so much. Tonks too." She put an arm around Molly's shoulders. "And of course Fred. He and George were favorites of mine you know. They were the highlight of my classes. You raised some truly fantastic children Mol."

Sniffling a little, Molly thanked her, and gave her a hug.

"When can we be expecting the announcement of some little Snapes coming into the wizarding world?" Pomona asked, grinning.

Tam bit her lip. _If you only knew!_ "You'll have to wait and see!" she said, smirking.

Later on in the evening when she had a moment alone with Minerva she approached her friend about being godmother of her child. "Min can I ask you something in private?"

"Certainly dear, what is it?"

Tam smiled. "Severus and I will become parents this January" she whispered.

McGonagall's face showed her surprise, but she quickly recomposed herself to avoid attracting the attention of the others. "That explains the _allergies_" she teased. "Congratulations Tamara!" She kept her voice very low, but couldn't hide her happy grin.

"We talked about it and we'd be honored if you would be our baby's godmother. I'm told that the choice is supposed to be someone you hope your child would grow up to be like, and I can't think of anyone more fitting to that than yourself Min."

Tam saw that there were tears in her friend's eyes. "Yes" she said. "I would love to. Thank you."

When Tamara approached the portrait on the wall of Albus Dumbledore, she found it at first empty. She figured he probably had wanted to give the assembled ladies their privacy. As if sensing her wish to speak with him, he stepped into the frame and sat down in his chair.

"Hello Miss Brookes!" he greeted her. "I understand congratulations are in order."

She smiled. "Thank you Albus. Yes, tomorrow I become Mrs. Snape. Surprised?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not terribly, I must admit" he said cheerfully. "I am very pleased for you and especially for Severus. He deserves some happiness in his life, and I know you will, as you always have, treat him with great love and kindness. His lot was not an easy one, but he accepted it bravely. Now it is time for him to revel in the world that he helped to save."

Meanwhile at the Three Broomsticks Horace Slughorn was leading a very spirited pub sing-along with Arthur Weasley and Hagrid, and Severus found himself sitting alone at a table with his former students and Argus Filch.

George Weasley was grinning at his intoxicated father. "Mum's gonna have kittens when she sees the state he's in."

Ron nodded, snickering. "Unless she's just as pissed. Hermione said they were going for cocktails in McGonagall's office."

"Potter" Severus said quietly. "Could we step outside a moment? I have something I'd like to discuss with you."

Harry nodded. "Sure Professor."

He smirked. "I'm retired now Potter, it's just Severus. Or Snape, as you used to seem to prefer."

Blushing, but smiling, Harry nodded, and they stepped out onto the street.

Not wanting to draw out an already uncomfortable moment by beating around the bush, Severus got down to business immediately. "There will be a child in January" he said. "Tamara's expecting."

Harry's eyes got wide. "Oh! Congratulations sir."

Severus smiled. "Thank you. Tamara gave me the job of selecting a godfather for our child. This may come as a surprise, but I thought of you. She told me that the tradition is to pick someone that you would like your child to grow up to emulate. I have had the privilege of watching you grow into a fine, strong, honorable man over the years Potter. You are brave and clever, and obviously you have proven yourself capable of saving the world" his tone was teasing with that last. "I know that Remus Lupin made you godfather of his son as well, and as you know, he meant a great deal to my future wife. I know she would be very happy if you would do this for us."

Harry nodded, looking very pleased. "I would be happy to sir. Thank you very much for asking."

Severus looked him in the eyes. "I know you know that your mother was… important to me. I want you to know that I realize I was wrong about you. I couldn't see past my own pride and…" he sighed, irritated by what he had to admit "my pain" he finally finished. "I apologize for that, but I hope that my mistakes proved educational, at the very least."

Harry nodded again. "Yes sir. It's all right. Turns out I was pretty wrong about you too wasn't I?"

Severus chuckled. "Not as much as you might think, If I'm honest" he said. "Potter, could I ask you for another favor?"

The next day all of the guests had gathered by the lake, and Tamara was preparing herself to make the walk down to them when Minerva came blustering up to her, looking furious.

"I don't know who tipped her off, but that revolting Skeeter woman is here! She's interviewing guests! She asked the best man how it feels to be in the wedding of a former nemesis!"

Tam raised an eyebrow. "Nemesis? Who's the best man?"

Minerva looked at her like she had lost her mind. "It's Harry Potter. Severus didn't tell you that?"

Suddenly feeling very much enlightened as to whom her child's godfather would be, Tam smiled.

"Should I have her banished from the grounds?" Minerva asked.

Tam shook her head. "No. I may regret this later, but let her stay. If you could though, ask Kingsley to have a word with her. Maybe if he reminds her that she is to print only the _truth_ and that she needs to get her facts absolutely _straight_then she'll behave herself. I think it would be nice for the wizarding world to read that Sev's getting married. Usually when people recognize him they're either whispering that he's a death eater or practically falling at his feet like he's some sort of deity. I'd like it if they could see that he's a normal wizard just like everyone else because both responses make him pretty uncomfortable."

Minerva shook her head in sympathy.

Tam shrugged. "It can't possibly be any worse than that stupid book she wrote… Severus Snape Scoundrel or Saint indeed… I'd have her know that it's a delightful combination of the two, as a matter of fact."

The older witch laughed, and went back down to join the rest of the wedding party.

When the time came for Tam to make her entrance, she did so on the arm of Rubeus Hagrid. The Hogwarts gamekeeper towered over her, and she knew that with him sobbing and snorting into a handkerchief the whole way down the path that it made for an interesting sight, but she was very fond of him, and was glad to have him at her side.

The McGonagall brothers were following along behind them playing their bagpipes, and the overall effect was lovely. Tam started to feel the emotion rising in her chest, and she knew she would probably start to cry.

Her dress was bright green silk and tulle, with cap sleeves and green tulle roses at the bust. Around her waist there were sparkling green glass beads. The skirt was full and long, made of silk, with a shorter wrap of tulle gathered at her hip with another tulle rose. It was very beautiful, and she saw Severus' pleased little smile as she approached. Even on her wedding day she was showing her Slytherin pride. The pendant at her neck was a silver S, but that was for his initial, rather than for her favorite Hogwarts house. She wore black high heeled sandals with silk ties that ran up her calves. She carried a bouquet of purple Scotch thistle, red roses, and rare white heather.

As for the groom, he was in his best black, with, as Tam had requested, a green velvet robe on top. It was exactly as Tam had hoped, and she was so eager to get to him that she actually pulled Hagrid along a bit. He had made sure to comb his hair, knowing she'd have been very annoyed if he didn't. He looked positively dashing, and Tam was very proud of him.

She saw off to the side a wizard artist busily sketching for some portraits. That was something she hadn't thought of, and she knew it had probably been Minerva's doing. As Tam looked around she recognized the faces from her guest list. It made her happy to see that so many of them had actually made it. She saw a tall beautiful witch holding a turquoise-haired toddler and tears came at last. Oh how she wished that the little boy's parents could be here as well. Then she remembered what Remus had said to her, and she knew that though she couldn't see them, they _were_ here, in spirit. She sent out a silent thought of love to Remus, Dora, Sirius, Albus, Alastor, and Fred.

The entire Weasley family, along with Hermione Granger on Ron's arm, was congregated together near Mrs. Tonks. Molly was weeping, but smiling. Horace Slughorn and Argus Filch were standing with Hagrid's brother Grawp, at the edge of the crowd. Grawp, being a giant, was respectfully keeping enough distance to avoid accidentally stepping on anyone. All of their former colleagues were there, as were several former students. Severus had requested a few of them be invited, and the ones he had chosen were naturally all Slytherins. Luna Lovegood and her father were near Neville Longbottom and a dour looking old witch who Tam knew must be his grandmother. Also with them, Tam recognized Seamus Finnigan.

There was a group of Centaurs on the edge of the forest, and Tam gave them a respectful nod. Filius Flitwick was next to Madam Rosmerta from the Three Broomsticks. To Tam's surprise, she spotted Draco Malfoy with a Slytherin girl she recognized as Astoria Greengrass. When she'd sent his invitation she had expressed her understanding if he couldn't come, but was very glad that he had decided to. Seeing her looking at him he gave her a respectful nod, and she smiled. Rita Skeeter was staring at Tam like a hungry wolf, with her quill and notepad scribbling away furiously.

Upon reaching Severus, Minerva, and Harry, Tam swallowed nervously. It wasn't the idea of marrying Sev that had her flustered, but rather getting through such a production without bursting into tears. She smiled at Minister Shacklebolt, and he grinned at her.

At a nod from Kingsley the guests moved into a near-circular formation around the wedding party. Severus reached out his right hand and Tamara extended hers. They clasped each other's forearms.

Kingsley began "We welcome you Severus and Tamara, into the circle of your people."

Tamara noticed that Harry was holding a broomstick. He gave her a happy smile and a wink, and she had to suppress a giggle.

"We are all here in this place today to witness this wizard and this witch bond themselves to one another in love, life, and magic" said the Minister.

Hagrid let out another sob, and there were a few giggles, including one from Tamara.

Smiling, Kingsley asked "Is there anyone here who can give just cause why these two should not be joined in marriage?" He looked over the crowd, and Tam noticed Severus had an expression on his face that just _dared_ anyone to say a single _word_ on the subject. She bit her lip hard to avoid laughing.

Kingsley held out his wand.

"Do you Severus Snape take Tamara Brookes to be your wife, to be her constant friend, her partner in this life, and her one true love? To love her without reservation, honor and respect her, protect her from harm, comfort her in all times of distress, and to grow forever with her in mind and spirit?"

Severus looked Tam in the eyes and said "I do" in a voice so clear and authoritative that no one in their right mind would have ever questioned that he meant it.

She grinned at him as a white-gold rope of light extended from Kingsley's wand to wrap itself around their raised right arms.

Kingsley turned to her. "Do you Tamara Brookes take Severus Snape to be your husband, to be his constant friend, his partner in this life, and his one true love? To love him without reservation, honor and respect him, protect him from harm, comfort him in all times of distress, and to grow forever with him in mind and spirit?"

"I do!" she laughed, happily. There was a smattering of chuckles from the gathered crowd.

A second rope of light came out to wrap around the first one. Sev's smile was so sweet it made her melt inside, and she couldn't wait to kiss him.

"Now with your left hands, you may exchange rings" Kingsley told them.

Severus slid his mother's ring onto her left ring finger, and she placed the golden Celtic knot band she'd bought for him onto his.

"I declare you bonded for life" Kingsley announced. "Severus you may kiss your bride." The light ropes disappeared with a flash.

Sev pulled Tam into his arms and planted a fiery kiss on her lips that made her blush furiously. The guests all laughed and cheered.

Harry carefully laid the broomstick down across the path at their feet, and Severus gathered Tam into his arms and stepped over it, as she giggled in delight. With another kiss, he set her down, but kept her hand held tightly in his.

Kingsley said loudly "Friends, I give you Mr. and Mrs. Severus Snape!"

There was applause, and more cheering, and the bagpipes started up again. A few small explosions sounded out overhead and Tam saw George Weasley grinning at her. Thinking of Fred also, she blew George a kiss.

They all went up to the great hall for the reception and as per Sev's request there was plenty of perfectly ordinary food that happened to be delicious. The cake, he was pleased to note, was in fact chocolate with caramel filling. Alcohol flowed among the assembled guests, and a few stood to make speeches.

Slughorn gave a slightly tipsy speech about life and love that eventually deteriorated into a discussion on the very good quality of the mead.

Sybill Trelawney arose and, looking strange, gave a husky-voiced premonition that their first child would be born in a snowstorm, and would be a boy. Severus and Tamara exchanged glances, and Tam squeezed his hand under the table.

Hagrid, feeling inspired, stood up still holding a half-eaten chicken leg. "I just wanna say that though I know they seem a bit of an unlikely couple, I've never seen a more devoted one. They've seen some pretty sticky times together and come through the other side all the more in love for it. Here's to our Professor Snape and 'is new Missus!"

There was a raucous of cheers.

Minerva and Harry stood up together, looking somewhat sly. Harry began first, giving a very amusing account of some of the encounters he'd had with Severus during his time as Snape's student. There was plenty of knowing laughter from the guests, and Tam laughed so hard her sides hurt, and she felt a few small flutters from the child inside of her, which was a thrilling first.

Minerva took over, telling her story of how Dumbledore had told her that the new music teacher had collided with the Potions Master in the hallway and he suspected that a romance would develop. She gave a basic rundown of some of the more amusing tails of their relationship when they were both teaching at Hogwarts, including the time when she had walked into Sev's office to find Tamara draped in his lap. In his embarrassment he'd stood up and dropped her onto the floor.

Harry spoke of having a conversation with Remus Lupin in his fifth year. "I had seen Miss Brookes, as she was then known" he smiled "with Professor Snape enough to realize that they were very close, and the more I had got to know her, and realized what a friend she was to Remus, I started to worry. I asked Remus if she knew what she was doing being so tight with Snape." Severus chuckled and smirked at Harry.

"He looked me in the eye and he told me that I didn't need to worry. He said he knew that I wished she'd get together with my godfather Sirius" there was laughter in the room again. "But that it was an idea I may as well drop because he knew she only had eyes for Snape. He told me that in spite of our potions professor's many mysterious qualities he never worried about Tamara's safety with him. He said that he knew that Snape would never let her come to any harm, no matter what, and that she was at her absolute safest when she was with him. Then he made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone, and he told me to mind my own business."

Tam started to tear up at the story about Remus, and she gave Harry a hug.

Minerva took her final turn. "When the war began in earnest, and poor Severus was forced to go deep undercover for us as a member of the opposition, obviously nobody could know. We all thought he had betrayed us. All of us that is, but Tamara. She stayed with us, and she didn't argue with us, but I could always tell that she never really believed he'd defected. It worried me at the time, but when he was vindicated at last, I was extremely humbled. I'd been begging this poor girl to forsake her soul mate for months, but she wouldn't budge. She had seen enough of his heart that even though he couldn't tell her the truth without endangering everyone, she kept her faith in him. She risked her life to save his, and thankfully, she was successful. Theirs is one of the happy stories that came out of the war. A story of a love that survived. I'm proud to be here today, celebrating their happy ending."

Much to Tamara's surprise, after Minerva, her new husband stood up to speak. "As you all know I am not one of many words outside of a classroom. I am not going to spout off love poetry because it is not my style. I simply wish to thank all of you for showing up and making this day a lot more fun than it would have been if I'd had my way and we'd nipped off to the ministry."

The crowd laughed, and he flashed them a smug smirk.

"I want to thank my brilliant wife for putting up with my foul moods and forcing her way through the considerable scar tissue on my heart to realize that I still had one, and for grabbing onto my soul and dragging me back from death. She still hasn't let go." He smiled.

"I want to thank Minerva McGonagall for being a marvelous friend and for being there for Tamara during a dark time when I could not be. I want to thank Harry Potter for hating me so much when he needed to and for forgiving me when the time finally came for him to do so. I also want to thank him for saving the world, as none of us would be here if he hadn't."

More laughter.

"Thanks to those who helped piece me back together when I was dying. Thanks to those who helped keep Tamara sane when I was dying. Thanks to those who lost their lives in the war so the rest of us could go on living. Thanks to Remus Lupin for sending his pretty friend to Hogwarts where she captured my heart and gave me a reason to keep living when it was all over. Thanks to you all. I hope you had a good time today, and I hope you'll all keep in touch. It is nice to know that there is still a Hogwarts to send our future children to, and to know they will be in such capable hands."

Tam was stunned, and she joined wholeheartedly in with the thunderous applause that filled the room. She stood and put her arm around his waist.

When the noise died down she said "I'm usually the wordier one of the two of us. In fact it can be difficult to shut me up, but really I just want to say that I echo everything my husband just said, and to him, I want to say… thank _you_ Sev for being exactly what you are, my best friend, the love of my life, and the immense challenge that was just what I needed."

When Rita Skeeter approached them Tam sent Severus away from the table to go and talk to some of the guests. He kissed her cheek and took the opportunity to whisper "Thank you" into her ear for giving him an out.

"Beautiful wedding" said the reporter. "Really lovely. I hope you don't mind if we run some pictures with our article."

Tam put forth her sweetest smile. "Not at all Rita, that would be fine."

"If I may ask, where are the newlywed Snapes planning on settling, now that you're officially hitched?"

"We live here in Scotland" Tam replied, still smiling.

"Nearby?" Rita asked.

"Close enough."

Seeing that was the best she was going to get, the reporter changed subjects. "Any plans for a honeymoon?"

Tam laughed. "No. Not having to worry about battling evil anymore has made everyday life together a honeymoon. We're just going home to look forward to the rest of our lives."

"I see. How does it feel for your husband, being back here at the school after being ousted as Headmaster so suddenly?"

Tamara shook her head. _Brass bollocks on this woman!_ "He wasn't ousted, he resigned. Severus never wanted to be Headmaster, he did what he felt was his duty in order to protect the students and staff during a very dangerous time."

"Mrs. Snape, you may be aware I penned a very thought-provoking biography on your husband after the war. It was called…"

"Severus Snape, Scoundrel or Saint?" Tam finished for her.

Rita was beaming. "Yes, that's it. I was wondering, Mrs. Snape, if you could answer that question for my readers."

Tam laughed, and the blonde across from her looked surprised. Tam would've thought that she'd be used to being laughed at by now, but apparently not. "Certainly, I think I am very qualified to answer that question actually. He's both."

Ms. Skeeter stared at her for a few seconds. "How so?" she asked finally. "Would you say that he sits on the fence in matters of good and evil? Perhaps he waits until the very last moment to decide where his allegiance lies?"

Tamara glared at her interviewer, but kept her voice calm. She wasn't going to let this woman get to her. "Absolutely not. Severus did _everything_ that he did during the war because it was what was needed to aid Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, and the rest of the Order of the Phoenix to defeat Lord Voldemort once and for all. He risked everything he had, including his life, in service to that mission. He sacrificed a great deal more than most people will ever know. When I say that he is both a scoundrel and a saint I say that not in relation to the war, but in his personality as a man, because in spite of everything he's done in his life, that's what he is. A person like anyone else with many facets to who he is."

Rita looked interested, and Tam thought that maybe she might actually be intrigued enough to print the truth. "Do go on…" she urged.

Tam continued "He's the bravest man I have ever met, and the strongest. He has a truly brilliant mind and possesses great power and skill. Nobody else could have played the role he was given during the war, of that I am confident. As to his personal life… I'll say this… he has been the best friend I've ever had, and is a wonderfully loving partner. He's protective, gentle, kind, comforting, faithful, honest and thoughtful. He has a wicked sense of humor, he's fierce when challenged, he can be harsh because he is passionate, and he does not trust easily. He's extraordinarily stubborn, but most of the time he's right. He does not back down if he believes in what he is standing for and there is no one in the world that I could ever feel safer with. Does that answer your question Ms. Skeeter?"

The other woman nodded. "Yes, that's gem stuff that is" she said appreciatively. "For the romantics among our readers though, does he know how to kiss a witch?"

Tamara choked on the sip of water she had taken. "I don't think…" she sighed. _Oh hell, why not?_"Amazing" she said. "He has the softest lips on the planet and I swear I could kiss him all day if it weren't for the fact that I'd never get anything done."

The reporter's eyes were big as the serving plates and Tam could tell she thought she'd hit a jackpot with that remark. "Really? How about in the b…"

"Oh I don't think so Madam; you've got all the kiss and tell you're getting from me today, thank you very much!" Tam cut her off. As much as Severus would enjoy the praise, she knew he would lose his marbles if the entire wizarding world got to read the details of his sex life.

Tam had decided in advance that she wanted to sing one song, "Lovesong" by The Cure, and she hoped to persuade Severus to dance with her to it. When she asked, he put up a bit of a fuss, but with a little extra eyelash batting she eventually got him to give in.

It was well into the night when Tam finally told him she needed a bed. They slipped out of the great hall and spent the night in Severus' old quarters in the dungeon. Tam told him that there was nowhere else in the world that she would rather spend her wedding night than the place where they had spent so much time together over the years.

"I felt the baby move earlier when I was laughing at Harry" she told him, slipping out of her dress and collapsing on the bed, exhausted.

He smiled and ran a hand over her belly. "Really?"

"It's Harry isn't it? The godfather?"

He nodded. "Yes. I asked him last night. Do you approve?"

"Absolutely. I'm proud of you" she said.

"For what?"

"Everything. You're amazing. You've been through so much, and you've faced it all and come through the other side. I know you're past it all now, now that you can speak so movingly to all of our friends and look on Harry as a friend who you would trust with our child. You've healed Sev." She kissed him softly and ran her fingers through his black hair.

He shrugged. "If I have, it was with your help."


	29. Another Happy Birthday

_This was another really fun chapter to write. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it!_

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><p>They returned to Peebles the next day, after making plans with several of their friends to come and visit again soon, and promising Molly Weasley that they would come to the Burrow for Christmas.<p>

They'd been home for two days when the story of their wedding arrived via owl in the Daily Prophet. Severus sat down with the paper and his morning coffee, and Tam was making their breakfast when he suddenly snickered.

"Oh look, we made the front page" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Former Hogwarts Headmaster and Wizarding War Hero Severus Snape marries child bride at Hogwarts School. See page two for full details by Rita Skeeter."

Tam nearly spit out the sip of tea she had taken. "Child bride?"

Severus chuckled. "Apparently our age difference didn't go unnoticed."

"We're only ten years apart for crying out loud, and I don't consider twenty-nine a child do you?" she said, annoyed. "I gave that woman an interview and she goes and prints that. Unreal."

"At least it's a nice picture" he muttered snidely, flipping to page two to see the rest.

He scanned over the article and was relieved to find that it actually wasn't as bad as he'd feared. There was no talk of Death Eaters, murder, or Voldemort. A few tidbits here and there were a little off, but that was to be expected from the Prophet.

He started to giggle, which made Tam smile, and read out loud "Mr. Snape looked unusually dashing, and considerably younger than his fifty years! That's a good thing I suppose considering I won't be forty for another six months."

Tam's jaw dropped. "Fifty? The woman's either got the brains of a turnip or has turned being passive aggressive into an art form."

"A bit of both I suspect" he said, continuing to read. "Ah here's your interview…"

Tam smirked as she flipped their eggs, remembering some of the things she'd said. She hoped at least she'd been quoted properly. She watched his face carefully as he read, barely remembering to plate the eggs before they burned.

He looked amused, a hint of a smile playing across his lips. Finally he started to chuckle, and looked up at her. "Did you really say that last bit about kissing me?"

Tamara laughed as she set his plate in front of him. "Of course I did. I thought about telling her to get bent when she asked about that, but I thought it unfair to deny the world the chance to know that as well as a hero and a formidable wizard you are also an expert in snogging."

He shook his head and sighed but he was grinning proudly as well.

Being back at home and knowing that their wedding was now behind them was actually a relief, and they settled back into their life as though nothing had really changed. Severus often caught himself staring at the ring on his finger though, thinking about the fact that he was now a married man. It seemed strange. He'd never expected such a thing in his life, and it seemed surreal.

Another reminder of the unexpected was Tamara's expanding belly. At night he would snuggle up behind her with his arm around her and his hand rested there so he could feel the child move. It was both a wonderful and terrifying feeling. Wonderful in that he knew soon they would be a family, and he would have this new person, a part of both himself and his love, to teach and to treasure. Terrifying in that he would soon have another person that he would need to protect, that he already loved so deeply that the thought of any harm coming to this child literally caused an ache in his chest and made his eyes water.

Summer flew by, and gave way to autumn, which then gave way to winter. Being so used to Scottish winters from their years at Hogwarts they really weren't bothered much. They kept the fireplaces roaring, and took walks in the snow when Tam wasn't feeling too uncomfortable from the weight of their growing baby.

As promised, they did travel to the burrow for Christmas. The entire Weasley clan was there of course, as well as Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. Molly made a big fuss over Tam's now enormous middle. It was nice for Tam being among the people she had spent so many evenings with during the old order meetings. It reminded her as always of Remus and Tonks and Sirius, Fred, Alastor, and of course Albus Dumbledore. She knew that Sev still felt a bit out of place in groups, a side effect of having spent most of his life alone unless he was teaching a class. He did it for her though, and he did his best to be polite. He didn't dislike any of them, in fact quite the opposite… he just felt a bit awkward in such unfamiliar situations.

She knew it was a relief for him when they went back home again, not just because he wasn't a fan of visiting, but also because they were so close to the date that the baby was due. Truthfully, the child could've come at any time by then. Poppy Pomfrey was awaiting their owl and was prepared to come via floo as soon as Tam went into labor.

They had made the decision that their child would be born at home, delivered by Poppy. They both trusted her completely, and neither of them could stand the thought of being in a hospital, even if it was as well regarded as St. Mungo's.

Tam had been very pleased that her due date, January sixth, was so close to Sev's birthday on the ninth. She secretly hoped that she would have the baby on that day, even though she knew the odds were against it. Sev was passing his time by reading as much as he could find about labor and childbirth. He seemed very calm about the whole idea, whereas Tamara was terrified. He assured her that women had babies every day, and if the muggles could do it then a witch such as herself certainly could manage.

What she didn't know was that he was even more nervous than she was, but didn't want to let on. He hated the idea of her being in pain, and had been corresponding with Poppy about the possibility of using potions to ease things along for her. Poppy said that there were concoctions that could assist with labor, but it was not recommended to use a pain relief potion outside of a hospital in case a complication were to go unnoticed accidentally and the lives of mother and child could be put at risk.

Severus did his research and brewed a batch of what he had read was the best potion to encourage good contractions and therefore a nice quick labor. He made sure they had some extra vials of blood replenishing potion just in case, and pain reliever that could at least be used afterwards.

The nursery was ready, with every last item put into place. Sev checked in on it every day, sometimes twice, as if something may have changed since he was last in there. He had purchased an owl for them to have on hand when the time came, and though he'd done it out of practicality Tam of course was quite attached now to the black bird she had named Ebony. It spent quite a bit of its time in the house perched near wherever she was so she could slip it little treats.

January the sixth came and went with no sign of their infant's arrival. Severus was practically climbing the walls in his anxiousness where Tamara was just ready to be done with the discomfort. They received messages every day from curious friends like Minerva, Horace Slughorn, Molly Weasley, and even Hagrid. A beautiful silver mobile arrived from the Malfoy family, and although Severus thoroughly checked it for curses first, he did go ahead and put it up above the baby's crib.

On the eighth they stayed in and sat by the fire for most of the day, as it was blizzarding out quite ferociously and Tamara was in a lot of discomfort. Severus made them hot cocoa and they talked about baby names, yet again, as they couldn't quite agree. Tamara was quite adamant that she would manage to name their child for him in some way, whereas he was dead set against it.

"Severus I love you the most of anyone in the world and I will love our child the same. It stands to reason that I want to honor you with the name."

He shook his head, but pulled her a bit closer to him anyway. "It's bad enough that this child has to share my genetics, and may be cursed with inheriting my looks… I won't have them saddled with any more similarities. It makes me nervous. I don't want a life for our child like the one I had and I feel it's tempting fate."

"That's silly" Tam laughed. "We will give our child a much better start than what you had. I know you won't allow any of the injustices you suffered to be pressed upon him or her. I'm the one who has to go through all the nasty bits of this process so I think I get to choose, and I want to name my child for my beloved. By the way, I hope the baby _does_ look like you because I've always thought you incredibly attractive."

He sighed, and ignoring her compliment said "I don't like juniors."

"No, neither do I. I want to have it a bit different, but similar. I was thinking for a boy I'd like to incorporate the name Arun somehow. My first trip to Britain when I was a teenager was the reason I chose to move there as an adult. I went to see Arundel castle on that trip and I thought it was so amazingly beautiful that it has always stuck with me. For a girl... I'm not entirely sure but I'm working on it."

"I like Arun. I could live with Arun Snape" he muttered.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not backing down."

Deciding to change the subject rather than argue anymore with her he said "Do you think we'll be any good at this parenting business?"

She laughed. "Yes, I think so. I think you'll be an excellent father."

"I certainly intend to try" he said. "I didn't exactly have the best role model I'm afraid."

Tam kissed the back of his hand. "You won't be like him" she assured him. "You're a far better man, a far better husband, and I know you will be a far better father."

They went to bed early that night, but were awoken not long after with Tam complaining of cramps. She was in the process of explaining what was wrong to Severus when her water broke. She dried the mess with her wand while Sev went to write a quick message to Poppy. The owl was out the window in no time, and he went to grab the little bag of potions he'd prepared.

"This liquid just keeps coming as fast as I can dry it. Nobody warned me about that. Sweet, you look like someone's just walked over your grave" she said to him. He was paler than usual and was sweating a bit. "Are you all right?"

He nodded, but she saw his hands were shaking as he removed the small potion vials from the little black bag. She smiled, but decided against teasing him. She herself actually felt much calmer than she had expected to. Now that it seemed the time had arrived, the fact that Sev was with her had her feeling fairly confident. She knew that nothing in the world could be more frightening than the night she had nearly lost him forever and no pain in the world could be as great as the pain she'd known when she'd feared he would die.

The contractions were well under way by the time Poppy arrived via floo. In the middle of one Tam cried out in pain and Severus could only hold her hand helplessly. When she opened her blue eyes she found his dark ones fixed on her with concern.

"Are you all right?" he asked, sounding miserable. From the corner Tam heard Poppy's knowing little chuckle.

She nodded. "Yes, I'm ok. It hurts, but you're here and that makes it ok."

He fought hard against the tears that threatened in his eyes and kissed her forehead.

Poppy spoke up "It will get much worse before it ends I'm afraid, but if you persevere girl, you'll get through all right." She patted Severus on the shoulder. "Do you plan to stay for it all? If you do, you'd better prepare yourself as it is not a pretty thing, childbirth."

Severus looked at her like she was completely crazed to suggest he might leave. "Twelve angry giants could not pry me from this room woman, are you mad?"

Tamara laughed until she had another contraction and went silent. She was trying not to make any sound to avoid scaring Sev any more.

"Don't hold back on his account darling, he'll be fine. If he wants to be here he can be a sport can't he?" Poppy scolded.

Tam let out a blowing breath, and snickered.

As the hours passed it did indeed get worse, and Severus found himself alternating between sitting beside Tamara so she could cling to his hand and pacing the room like a caged tiger.

In the middle of a particularly hard contraction Tamara yelled out begging for it to end, and Severus turned to Poppy in desperation. "Merlin's bloody beard woman how long must this continue? It's nearly dawn and I don't know how much more she can endure. Give me a way to help her or I shall go mad!"

Poppy shook her head. "Nothing to do at the moment I'm afraid. You already did what you could to move things along with those potions. Good thinking, having those ready made, but nevertheless, now we wait. Step back a minute and I'll check the situation again…"

Severus obediently backed away from his wife while Poppy examined her.

"Well, I daresay you will have your child this morning rather than this afternoon. Only a few hours left."

He shot her a dirty look. "A few hours? Hours? She has to writhe in agony for a few more hours?"

Madam Pomfrey crossed her arms over her chest "Yes, and be lucky that's all. Usually it's much longer for a first time mother."

Deciding not to push his luck, he knelt back down by Tam's bedside and reclaimed her hand, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. She started to whimper as yet another contraction hit.

About an hour and a half after sunrise, actually a bit sooner than Poppy had expected, she was handing Severus a black haired infant that she'd wrapped in a green baby blanket.

"Well there you are Severus, meet your son" Poppy said, pleased. "Nice big boy, tall already, must get that from you."

Sev looked down at the fussing being in his arms. The boy had a mass of black hair, and when he opened his eyes they were dark blue. The infant went quiet and squinted, as if trying to focus on his father. Severus Snape's heart broke right then and there with absolute unconditional love.

"Tamara he's beautiful" he said, his deep voice full of emotion. He knelt next to her with the baby so she could see.

She was flushed-faced and disoriented, as well as somewhat giddy from the relief of the end of her labor. She leaned over to kiss her child and her husband and said "Sevarun. Sevarun Remus Snape. That's his name."

There was no argument from the boy's father.

After he was fed baby Sevarun had fallen asleep in his mother's arms, and she quickly followed. Severus took the opportunity to send Ebony off with a few letters to their friends, surprised by his own eagerness. He was so pleased with the tiny boy that he felt like if he didn't spread the word he would burst. The first messages went out to Harry Potter and Minerva McGonagall, as they were to be the baby's godparents. Next he sent one to the Weasleys, and one to Kingsley Shacklebolt, knowing that the minister would see the news put into the Prophet as soon as possible. Ordinarily he wasn't a fan of publicity of any kind, but this was different. This was something he couldn't help but be proud of.

Poppy stuck around for a few hours to make sure that all was well with mother and child. She approached Severus just after noon. He was sitting in a chair in the bedroom watching his wife and son sleep.

"They're just fine. You should get some rest yourself while you can. She'll be tired for a few days and that boy will be up every hour or so, two at most. She'll need you at top form tonight" Poppy warned. She smiled at him. "He's a lovely child Severus, you did well."

He smiled back. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much we appreciate you coming here to help us."

Madam Pomfrey shrugged, amused by his uncharacteristic enthusiasm. "It was my pleasure. Let me know when the next one's due to come along and I'll be back again" she teased. "Bring him by to see us in a few months will you? There are a lot of folks at Hogwarts waiting for news of this lad."

"I sent an owl to Minerva, I imagine she'll fill everyone in. Thank you Poppy. You've been up all night as well, you should go home and get some sleep."

She nodded. "That is exactly what I plan to do. You heed my advice and catch some rest as well while you've got the chance! If you should need anything, just send that bird and I'll be back."

When Severus stepped back into the room after seeing Poppy off Tamara was awake.

"Happy birthday Sev" she muttered, smirking.

He chuckled. "So it is. I had forgotten. Once again you have managed to make it memorable." He lightly stroked the baby's mop of hair. "And now I shall share it with him."

Tamara smiled as she watched him. Not many who knew him would have ever expected to see Severus Snape so in awe of a tiny baby as he was of this one.

When the child suddenly sneezed, the pictures fell from the walls and the bedroom door slammed shut. Tamara laughed and Severus grinned proudly.

"A wizard, confirmed with a sneeze" he said.


	30. Bats and Spiders

_I am really hoping that those of you who like this story will like this. I *love* writing it. Part of my inspiration for wanting to write it was, as I've said, to give Severus things he never got to have. Part of that in my mind included a family and a "normal" sort of life. I don't know how it would have turned out, but I choose to portray it this way. Honestly, would he have turned into this sort of a guy if he'd been given the chance? I don't know! I like to think so though, and that's why I wrote it this way. I hope you think it's nifty, but if you hate it and think I've totally ruined Snape, I apologize profusely! Either way, there's a lot more of this story to come because I have a really good time thinking it up. It won't all be as light and silly as this chapter, but sometimes light and silly is fun!_

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><p>"Daddy am I going to dress up like a spider now?"<p>

Severus smiled at his daughter. "No, not now. Mummy has to get home from school first. Eat your toast Sevina."

The little girl was sitting on her knees to reach the table better. She narrowed her nearly black eyes at her father and shoved her plate toward him. "More chocolate on it."

Severus rolled his eyes, but slathered an extra layer of Nutella on her toast. He couldn't blame her, he was honestly rather fond of the stuff himself.

"Sevarun stop sulking and come and have your breakfast" he called into the lounge.

"No! I don't want to be a bat I want to be a vampire! It isn't fair. Sevina gets to be what she wants why can't I?"

"We already discussed it. It's offensive to real vampires so we don't do that. I mean it Sevarun come in here right now."

Sevarun stomped into the dining room and stood in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and his black hair hanging in a curtain over his eyes. He was glowering and Severus had to fight hard to keep from smiling. It felt a bit like looking in a funhouse mirror at a shrunken version of himself.

"Keep looking like that and you can go as me for Halloween."

Sevina cackled wildly, blowing toast crumbs across the table. "Dress up like daddy for Halloween! Daddy's not scaaaary!"

Severus laughed. "Not these days, I suppose not. Sevarun come sit down. Your food has gone cold now."

Sevarun Remus was nearly six and Sevina Dora nearly four, and it was Halloween. Tamara was at Hogwarts teaching and Severus was in Peebles with the children, as per usual.

"Bet you got to go as what you wanted when you were a kid" Sevarun growled as he plopped down into his chair.

"Actually I went as a dirty little boy whose clothes were too big" Severus muttered. "Be glad for what you've got."

Sevina, thinking that was quite funny indeed, howled with more laughter. Severus smirked and pulled her chair over to him so he could do her hair up in braids for the day. "You are going to be the prettiest little spider that Scotland has ever seen" he told her, securing one of her pigtail braids with a black ribbon.

"Still not fair" Sevarun grumped, picking at his toast. "Muggles can be vampires. Loads of them do it."

Severus thought for a second. "Consider this… Teddy's father was a werewolf. When he sees muggles dressed as werewolves it doesn't bother him because they don't know anything, so they can't help but be daft. If he saw a wizard boy dressed as a werewolf though, he would feel bad wouldn't he? That would be like making fun. Do you understand now?"

The little boy's blue eyes widened, and he nodded gravely. "Yeah. That'd be mean. Teddy's dad's gone so that would be real mean. Do you suppose there's vampire dads that are gone?"

Severus nodded. "Yes I'm sure there are. A bat will be fun, I promise. When I was a teacher at school like your mum all my students used to think I could turn into a bat because I was always catching them out of bed at night."

Sevina bounced up and down in her chair. "Daddy's a bat! Daddy's a bat! Whooosh!"

Sevarun laughed, shaking his head. "That's stupid. You aren't an animagus. You can fly though, without a broom, and without turning into anything… so that's even better."

Severus smirked. He loved it that his boy thought he was the greatest wizard who'd ever lived. He knew it was Tamara's doing.

He leaned down to his son and whispered so Sevina wouldn't hear "If a certain bat behaves himself tonight he just may find himself going flying in the moonlight before he goes to bed."

Sevarun grinned. "Wicked!

"That means when breakfast is done we need to get to work on our schooling. Once we've done our writing today we're going to talk about the history of Halloween. I want you to understand _why_ it is an important day for witches and wizards as well as why and when the muggles started to participate."

Severus was fairly sure his son was the only five year old in the U.K. who was writing full essays on the magical uses of powdered stones in potions and the personality traits associated with different species of wandwood. He was also quite positive that his daughter was the only three year old who could successfully transfigure a chaise lounge into a miniature pony. _That_ had been an interesting afternoon, to be sure. The worst bit had been convincing her to let him change it back before it ate mummy's curtains. He was very careful not to leave his wand lying unattended on the coffee table ever again. It had taken half a tin of sweets to get her to give it back.

The Snape children were bright. Very bright, in fact, and since their father devoted most of his time to educating them in magic, as well as the basics of living, like reading, writing, arithmetic, history, and natural science, he had no doubt that by the time they were ready to begin attendance at Hogwarts they would already be well on their way to success. It made him happy. He got more satisfaction from teaching his own children then he had ever felt teaching at Hogwarts. Tamara said it was because he loved his own offspring too much to find fault with them, but he maintained it was simply because there was no fault to find.

"Dad how come most dark wizards have dragon heartstring wands? I found that in my research. You and mum have dragon heartstring but you're not dark."

Severus was reading over his son's essay on wand-lore. "Hmm. Well, according to you the dragon heartstring wands are the ones with the most power. They learn quickly and are temperamental. They are the easiest to sway to the dark, yes, but they aren't naturally inclined that way themselves. So… why do you think that a dark wizard might be chosen by a dragon wand?"

The boy frowned as he thought, and Severus watched him intently. "Well, the wand might be able to see if a wizard tended toward the dark. A unicorn wand wouldn't probably much want to go with a dark wizard but a dragon one wouldn't mind so much, if they're easier to sway."

Smirking proudly, Severus nodded. "That's the theory. Wand-lore isn't an exact science, however, you must remember. The darkest wizard in recorded history had a wand with a phoenix feather core, just like your godfather, from the same phoenix in fact. One was used for death and destruction, the other used to rescue our world from it."

"Godfather Harry has a holly wand. What was the other one?"

"Yew" Severus said gravely. He remembered that particular wand all too well. "Some wands are willing to change allegiance if they are won off of another wizard. I have some experience with that I'll tell you about one day, but not now. This is a very well-written essay. I'd give you an Exceeds Expectations for this. A few more examples of actual wands and their wizards in support of or in contradiction to the theories and I would have given it an Outstanding. Perhaps we can look it over again in a few days and it will be better?"

Sevarun nodded. "Yeah."

Sevina grabbed Severus' sleeve and tugged. "I done my lines and I want to make a potion now."

"_I have done_ Sevina. You would say _I have done my lines_. As for a potion… I hadn't planned on that today, but I have an idea."

Tamara appeared with a pop to the stone walkway outside her home. She looked at their cottage as she did every day, and smiled, glad to be home to her family. It was cold, and she could tell by the smoke rising from the chimneys that Severus had the fires lit. There was no snow yet.

Minerva had, as she always did, invited her to bring Severus and the children to Hogwarts for the Halloween feast, and it was, as always, a tempting offer. Holidays at Hogwarts were always wonderful affairs, and she knew the kids would have loved it. She and Severus had made a decision when Sevarun was a baby though that they wouldn't take their children to the castle except for the most special of occasions. They didn't want it to become old hat for them before they got to attend as students themselves.

When she opened the door she was greeted by the smell of spiced cider. Sevina came dashing down the hall.

"We made a brew with daddy but it's not really potion it's a drink!" she squealed. "It's got apple cider and spicy bits. Daddy said you like it almost as good as butterbeer!"

Tam heard Severus' deep laughter from the kitchen and she felt herself getting warm without need of the fire. She'd never believed before they'd had children that she could possibly love him any more, but when he'd become a father she had discovered she was wrong. Their children brought out the absolute best in him. For someone who had never been fond of other people's kids, he reveled in having his own.

"Hi mum" Sevarun said as he came down the hall to hug her.

Tamara set her boots by the door. "Hi there. You're in a better mood than you were last night, I see."

The boy nodded, his black hair shaking as he did. "Yeah. Dad and I talked about it and I don't want to upset the vampire kids."

Severus had appeared in the kitchen doorway and Tamara grinned at him.

"Muggles can dress up as whatever they want because they're daft and don't know anything but we wizards need to be more careful. I wouldn't like to see Teddy get sad if someone went as a werewolf and made fun of his dad."

Tam looked down at her son with wide eyes. "Oh. Yes, we wouldn't want that to happen would we? I don't know though, if we should say that muggles are daft." She looked back up to her smirking husband and made a face. "Perhaps just uninformed?"

"But muggles _are_ daft!" Sevarun insisted. "We learned about the history of Halloween today and those muggles do more daft things all the time. Did you know some of them think that Halloween is evil and for devil worshipping? Ridiculous."

Tamara snickered and shook her head. "Yes, that is rather ridiculous isn't it?" She made her way to where Severus stood and slipped her arms around his waste. "Amazing what some people will call evil" she said quietly, smiling up at him.

"Hmm. Yes" he said, pulling the leather band from her hair that was holding it back. "Your son wrote a very good essay on wand lore that you should read" he told her.

She grinned. "A five year old writing essays. Only you Severus" she teased. "You'd better be careful or you'll have these children in Ravenclaw rather than Slytherin."

"Never!" he said, mock indignation. "Besides he's almost six. I refuse to have my offspring turn up at Hogwarts not being able to find their arses with both hands like most of the idiots I had to teach."

"Language Mr. Snape" she scolded, nuzzling his neck.

"Noted, Mrs. Snape" he agreed, giving her a squeeze. "I thought we'd get dinner in town since we're going to be there anyway gathering candy for the small people. Does that sound satisfactory?"

She nodded. "Yes. Who's for fish and chips?" she asked her children.

"No, I want sweeties!" Sevina whined. "I want to go and scare people in my spider suit!"

"They mean before the sweets Sevina. Then we'll go out trick or treating" Sevarun explained to his little sister. "The fish and chips are for tea." He turned to his mother. "Can we go in our costumes?"

"Sure. I'll bet you're the only bat in Scotland that likes chips" she replied.

He raised his little eyebrow at her and she laughed out loud.

"Merlin's beard, it's like a miniature you" she teased her husband.

"Yes. He was scowling so hard at me this morning I thought I was looking in a very small mirror."

Tamara laughed again. "Oh I can imagine. Well, I'm going to go up and change and then we'll head out."

The children had fun trick or treating. Naturally they liked the wizarding households the best because they got candy from Honeydukes. Muggle candy just couldn't compete. Sevina delighted in wiggling her eight fuzzy spider legs and Sevarun thought it was funny to stick licorice to his teeth and pretend they were bloody fangs. He assured them that it wasn't offensive to vampires because he was really just a bat, after all.

Severus ended up carrying a sleeping spider home, and when they reached their walkway, he handed her to her mother.

"I promised this little bat fellow here that if he was good he'd get to go flying for a bit before bed" he explained.

Tamara opened her mouth to protest but he shushed her.

"We won't be long and you know from experience that it's perfectly safe" he said.

She sighed. "I know. I just think he's a bit young for that sort of thing honestly. It's… well it's pretty intense." She remembered the first time she had seen Severus fly. It had been out window at Grimmauld Place after the death of Albus Dumbledore. The next time she'd seen him do it, it had been out the window of the great hall at Hogwarts, when he'd left his duel against Minerva McGonagall. Both times had been emotionally traumatic for Tamara.

"Do you remember the first time I took you flying?" he asked, smirking.

She nodded. "Yes, and I nearly threw up on you." It had been at the Burrow. The Weasley family had been entertaining a baby Sevarun and she and Severus had taken off for a few stolen minutes alone outside under the stars.

"That's because you are irrationally afraid of heights" he teased. "This child fears nothing."

"Nothing but Brussels sprouts" she countered.

"Nasty" Sevarun muttered. "Let's go dad!"

Tam laughed, and carried Sevina into the house. On her way upstairs to her daughter's bedroom she found that she couldn't stop smiling. If she'd been told way back on her first day at Hogwarts that the man in black she crashed into was someday going to be the center of her entire world… well, she wouldn't have believed it.

After she had tucked Sevina into bed (still in her spider outfit, because she knew Vina would want it that way) she headed back downstairs for some of that cider she'd smelled earlier. Heating it up quickly with her wand, she headed to the lounge to sit by the fire.

Tam jumped, startled, when Severus emerged from the hallway into the lounge. She had been expecting to see him come in through the front door with Sevarun.

Noticing her reaction he said "He wanted to go in through his bedroom window."

She smiled. "Ah, I see. Did he have fun?"

"Absolutely" he replied, lying down on the sofa with his head in her lap. "He wants to go again tomorrow, but I told him it's only for special occasions."

Tamara slid her fingers into his hair. "Have I told you what a wonderful daddy you are?"

He shrugged. "Only a few times a day" he teased. "How's school going?"

"Good. It's still not the same without you there, but it's good. I keep reminding myself why you are here instead of with me, and that helps. You're busy cultivating future Slytherin Prefects."

His chuckle was low and sexy, and it made her want to take him to bed.

"Even after fourteen years you still turn me on like nobody's business" she mused. "How do you do it?"

"If I had any idea I'd be trying even harder. As it is, I have yet to pinpoint it. Whatever the key, I'm glad it works."

She leaned down to kiss him.

"I heard from Mrs. Applewood that there's a new Ancient Runes professor" he said, and she picked up a slightly mischievous tone in his voice. "A young man. She said her daughter was gushing about him in her owl home."

Tamara laughed. "Delia Applewood would gush over anything with a y chromosome. The boy's not bad looking, but nothing to owl home about in _my_ opinion. Honestly I feel a bit sorry for him. The students are walking over him like a cheap carpet."

"Hmm. Good to know. I was thinking I'd have to pay a little visit to make sure I don't have any competition."

She rolled her eyes. "There is no competing with you when it comes to my affections Sweet. There has _never_ been any chance of that. If the charming Sirius Black couldn't take me from you then _nobody_ can."

Severus grabbed her hand and squeezed it. He knew that there were certain names that, when mentioned, by Tamara or even just in front of her, caused her immense pain. It was inevitable. He knew it wasn't healthy, and he knew that something should probably have been done about it a long time ago, but honestly he was at a complete loss as to _what_ could possibly be done.

"Now I've done it. Gone and made myself sad" she said mildly. "It's a shame how that works. Thinking about the people I miss makes me happy and sad all at once."

"I know" he said. "I'm sorry for that. I wish I could make it better."

He understood. There was one person who had the same effect on him, and he almost never said her name. In fact, he _never _said it within earshot of anyone but his wife, and even then it was very rare. Lily still haunted him after all these years, even in the happy life he had now. He knew that for Tamara, every day still brought some reminder of her lost friends as well.

There were certain times and situations that were worse than others. When the spring flowers first began to bloom in the garden she would think of the spring she had met Remus Lupin. Severus would catch her sitting out by the shed with tears in her eyes, and he would distract her best he could, never mentioning what it was that he knew was plaguing her. Likewise, each full moon could find Tamara gazing up at the sky in sad reverie.

At Christmas he knew very well what she was thinking when she sang "God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs" just one time each Christmas Eve, looking sadly out the window. The Christmas she had spent with Sirius before he'd died had meant a lot to her. He'd been so happy for the company he'd sung that song at the top of his voice. At the time Severus had been annoyed that she'd wanted to be at Grimmauld Place rather than at Hogwarts for the holiday, but now, in hindsight, he was very glad that she had that memory.

Tamara couldn't set foot in the Leaky Cauldron without getting choked up missing Nymphadora Tonks. The two of them had enjoyed many a pint and a laugh there together, and naturally, whenever she and Severus found themselves in London, she insisted they had to go there to pay their respects. It seemed that there were also certain shades of pink and purple that never failed to make her wistful.

Every trip to Diagon Alley (though they were limited to usually only one or two a year) meant a visit to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, where Tam always sought out George Weasley to give him a big hug and share a knowing smile of remembrance for his brother Fred. The Weasley twins had been Tamara's favorite students of all time.

The memorial wall at the Ministry building had served as a bit of a field trip for the children over the summer, and Severus had steeled himself for it, knowing that his wife was likely to fall to pieces over certain names on it. According to the plaque, it contained all the names of the witches and wizards who died standing up to Voldemort, from both Wizarding Wars. Tamara had pointed out to her children the names of those she had known, like Alastor Moody, Albus Dumbledore, and all of her lost friends from the Order, as well as James and Lily Potter, who she had announced as "Our Harry's mummy and daddy." She'd also made a point to tell them that Harry's mummy had been an important friend to their own father. She had choked up quite a bit, but hadn't indulged herself with a good cry until late that night at home when the children were asleep in their beds.

"Tamara… I know that coming from me this will be a glaring example of hypocrisy… but I admit I worry sometimes that you are not as happy as you could be. Sometimes, honestly I wonder if…" he sighed, not sure how to broach this with her without making it worse. "I wonder if perhaps you spend more time lamenting the past than you do living in the present."

She squeezed his hand back, and he was relieved that she didn't seem upset with him.

"Oh, probably" she said. "We have such a lovely existence now, I know. Every bit of our lives is perfect. In a way it makes me feel guilty that we have that and there are so many who should have had it but never got the chance. My friends were dying when I was…"

"Saving my life" he finished for her. "I know it has been on your mind over the years. It's been on mine too, but I assure you, if you'd been there you would have either had to watch it happen or you would have died too, perhaps even both. I shudder to imagine what you'd have done if you'd seen Dolohov take down Remus or Bellatrix do in Tonks. You'd have jumped straight in and died, most likely. Then I'd have died too, mercifully, because if I had lived to return and find you'd been killed while I was off playing death eater I'd never have forgiven myself. I could not live with losing another…"

He stopped, but she knew what he was talking about.

"You always felt so responsible for me" she said. "I shouldn't have put you in that position, you already had so much on your shoulders."

"You lightened the burden" he insisted, sitting up and gently turning her chin so she was looking into his eyes. "I never had anyone in my life like you, and seemingly just in time there you were. Just when things were beginning to heat up again and get difficult, you turned up to be my comfort behind the scenes. Honestly Tamara, I didn't even completely understand just what utter shit my life was before then! When you've never been loved a day in your existence you know you're missing something but you don't know just how much. Once you discover exactly what it means… then it would be unbearable to lose again."

She kissed the hand that rested on her face. "Well, I did love you. That I did. That I _do_. From the moment I laid eyes on you I felt something, and it didn't take long to turn into the deepest most soul-shaking love imaginable. There was no way I could have walked away. I need you like air" she giggled for a second before having another very serious thought. "If I had lost you that night I couldn't have gone on. Even if the others had lived, I wouldn't have been able to face life without _you_."

He grinned. "We don't have conversations like this often enough I think. It's good for my ego."

She giggled again. "Do you want to hear about how every time I would catch a glimpse of you or hear the sweet sound of your luscious voice I positively _ached _to touch you?"

"That explains a lot" he muttered, smirking. "Coincidentally, you inspired several years' worth of _very_ naughty dreams on my part. That's no small feat when one is as dedicated an insomniac as myself. I'm just glad that you didn't pick up on any of them when we spent nights together."

Tamara's snicker was pure evil. "Who says I didn't?"

He laughed, but she could tell he was embarrassed. "It was better not knowing that."

"My favorites were the ones that took place on the desk in your office. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to make that scenario a reality. I thought about that so much that I actually dreamed it a few times myself."

"Merlin's bloody beard I wish you would have. We wasted a lot of time being shy."

She nodded. "We did. Six whole years of agony. I try not to regret it though; I think it adds nicely to our story. Anticipation is a powerful thing."

"I had thirty-eight _years_ of _anticipation_ thank you. Those last six being spent desperately trying to hide… your effect on me… were not easy to endure. I rank it right up there with my efforts as a spy." He tried to sound stern, but he was still smirking.

"I know. I was an insufferable tease. I didn't mean to be though, I just couldn't help it. The only times I ever had the nerve to really go after you I was either drugged or drunk!"

"Yes, and the one time I got drunk and went after you, your sudden development of _morals_ got in the way. Leave it to me to be rejected by the only one woman who ever lusted after me in my entire life."

Tam laughed again. "I am still sorry about that. I just didn't want you to hate me in the morning. Oh how I regretted that! You looked so hurt when I told you no! I didn't want to, believe me. That was torture. The things I wanted to do to you by then… if you knew you'd never stop blushing again."

He chuckled devilishly. "Why don't you show me?"

"Right here on the sofa?" she giggled.

"No" he said, and suddenly Tamara found herself wrapped in black smoke and her stomach lurched and fluttered as she was whisked down the hall and up the stairs to their bedroom. She landed abruptly on their bed and he re-appeared on top of her, grinning smugly.

"Oh bugger, don't do that!"

"Spoilsport" he grumbled.

"Don't let me fool you" she admitted "Truthfully it turns me on to no end that _my _man is such a formidable and powerful wizard."

He groaned appreciatively, attacking her neck with his lips and tongue. "Like I said, these talks are wondrous boosts for my ego. I have no idea how I managed to win such a sexy little witch, but I am grateful every day."

"I'm just grateful that I was the one who was smart enough to see what everyone else was missing. A tremendous stoke of luck, that. Oh don't stop what you're doing" she whimpered.

"Wouldn't dream of it."


	31. Teenage Dream

_This is an immediate continuation of chapter 30, just in case you wonder. I'm still going to keep working on this story even though there's a sequel up! Any of you Tonks lovers out there go check out "Molotov Jukebox" on iTunes and youtube. Natalia Tena is the singer and she is amazing. I love her! _

_As a warning, this chapter is a bit... steamy... towards the beginning. _

* * *

><p>"Sev I know you don't like to talk about it, but when I saw your dream about your school years… When I saw you as a teenager… You were so cute. Really freaking cute. If I'd met you then I'd have fallen in love with you just as quick."<p>

He leaned back and stared at her, thoroughly shocked. "What?"

"Aw come on you weren't supposed to stop" she complained. "I said if I'd known you back then I _know _I wouldn't have been able to resist you. You were adorable, even then. It made me sad to see you so sad and angry. I wish I could go back in time and make it better for you."

He was still staring, completely baffled. "I was awkward as hell" he said. "Not to mention being even more socially backward than I am now. I was the school joke."

Tam reached up and grabbed his head with both hands, pulling his face down to hers so she could kiss him hard. "Forget that" she said fiercely. "If I had been there I'd have got expelled, and likely sent to Azkaban for casting unforgivables. They didn't know what your life was like. They had no right. I know that a close friend of mine was a big part of that, and I will always love and miss Sirius, but back then I'd have hated him for being a nasty little prick."

He pulled away, but only slightly. "Dearest, I appreciate the sentiment but you don't know what you're really saying. You would have pitied me, I'm sure, because you are kind, but you wouldn't have been able to see me as you do now. Perspective changes when one doesn't have a huge throng of teenagers all too eager to cast the first hex. Lily took enough heat for even being my friend. No young witch, not even you, would have been able to look at the mess I was as anything but pathetic."

Tam found herself getting annoyed. "Rubbish! Min, Remus, and even Sirius himself all told me that you were a brilliant wizard from a young age. I'll be honest Sev, I'm sure if Lily were able to she'd tell you that she was sorry she didn't have the courage to be better for you. All you needed was someone to _really _make an effort to be there for you and you would have been fine. I know that because I see the incredible man you became. You spent too many years locked inside yourself, and in spite of the fact that I'm glad for selfish reasons that no other witch discovered how wonderful you were before me, it still breaks my heart that you were so unappreciated for so long. I know myself and I _know_ I would have reached out to you. How could I not? Before I even recognized that boy as you I wanted to hug him. When I figured it out I wanted to kill people."

Severus smiled then, and put his lips back against hers. She closed her eyes, but opened them again with a gasp when she felt grass under her back instead of their mattress. She looked around and realized she was on the Hogwarts grounds, lying under a tree. She was wearing a Slytherin uniform, which made her laugh out loud. She sat up.

"Sev?"

"Here" said a shy voice from behind her.

She turned around and he was there, seventeen, she was sure, and also wearing a Slytherin uniform. He smiled at her but she could feel his nervousness.

"How is this possible?" she asked, astounded.

"Just a glamour" he explained. "I thought you might enjoy it."

Tamara grinned. "I do! I feel a little perverted though, lusting after a teenager."

He chuckled, and it amazed her how different he sounded. He still had that lovely deep voice, but it was smoother in his youth. "Well, if it helps, I made you a teenager too."

"Perfect" she said straddling his lap. She pushed his black hair out of his face and he blushed. _It doesn't matter that he's really forty-five and I'm his thirty-five year old wife, put us in seventeen year old bodies and he's a shy adolescent again_!

"I wanna make you feel good" she whispered. His blush deepened, and he gasped a little.

Tamara kissed him and ran her tongue across his lips. He opened his mouth and let her find his tongue with hers. She grabbed his hands and placed them on her thighs under the skirt she was wearing. Still shy, he didn't dare move, and she giggled into his mouth.

She undid the clasp on his Slytherin robe and pushed it off of his shoulders, and then she tugged the gray sweater he was wearing until he lifted his arms and let her pull it off over his head. Her fingers went to work on the buttons of the white shirt he had on underneath, and he reached up to tug loose his green and silver tie. When she finally had access to his bare chest she kissed down his neck and pushed him flat onto his back. She was startled at just how thin he had been, but she was careful not to show her shock.

Undoing his belt, she shoved his trousers and underwear down around his thighs and leaned over. When she put her mouth on him he moaned and arched his back in appreciation. "Oh how I wish you'd really been at school with me" he whispered.

"Me too" she agreed, sitting up on her knees again and taking off her own Slytherin robe and sweater. She took off everything but her skirt and tie, and then slipped out of her knickers. Giving her husband's teenaged self a saucy smirk, she crawled up his body and lowered herself onto his hardness.

He pushed up hard against her and grabbed her hips with both hands.

Afterwards, lying in their bed, once again appearing as her thirty-five year old self, Tam found she still couldn't stop smiling. That had been _fantastic_. She stared at Sev's bare back, the sheet draped over his hips. The years did nothing to diminish her feelings for him. He still had the ability to control her heart rate with little more than a glance.

It never failed to amuse her how even though most people found him to be totally intimidating, they really had no idea of just how much he was actually capable of. Even after thirteen years of being his closest confidante he was still surprising her. She couldn't help but wonder if he could have given Dumbledore and Voldemort _both_ a run for their money if he had been inclined to try. He'd never actually attempted to take on either one of them, so it would forever remain a mystery.

The next day Tam was sipping some tea in the staff room when Horace Slughorn came in.

"Ah, there you are Tamara. I was hoping to run into you." He pulled a newspaper out of from under his arm. "I received this from a friend from The Prophet this morning. It is tomorrow's issue. He sent it to me so that I might pass it along to you and Severus… as a bit of an advanced warning. Page three."

Tam took the paper and opened it to page three. She read out loud "Where are they now? Could a former death eater be living in your backyard?" She gasped. "Oh my."

Scanning down she was informed of the current whereabouts of several former followers of Voldemort, including the Malfoy family. As she had feared, Severus was also mentioned, and the article revealed the fact that he was living with his wife and children in Peebles, Scotland. Much to her annoyance there was no mention of the fact that he had been working against Voldemort during the war as a spy.

"I don't understand this" she muttered. "They ran the story of our wedding and called him a hero, now it's back to just former death eater? Someone's got it in for him, apparently. I don't recognize the name of the writer. Probably a disgruntled former student."

Horace shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know. Perhaps he won't see it?"

"Oh, he'll see it. He reads the Prophet every day. How in the hell did they find out where we live?"

"I'm afraid I don't know my dear. I could do a little digging though, if you'd like. See if I can call in a favor or two to try and find out the source."

Tam nodded. "That would be fantastic Horace, I appreciate it. It's one thing to print nasty things about adults but they've pointed out where our _children _are. I just hope that we don't end up getting visits from any angry mobs."

Slughorn patted her on the shoulder. "I certainly hope not. If you do find yourselves needing to get away however, I am sure that Minerva would be happy to welcome you all here at Hogwarts."

She smiled. "Yeah, she would, I know, but I _love _my home. So does Severus. If some careless prat from the Prophet has us chased out of it for the sake of selling some newspapers…" she shook her head. "I don't even want to think about it. Thanks for the warning. It's better that I see it first!"

Tam spent the rest of the day anxiously mulling over the possibilities in her head. She knew Severus was going to be _very_ annoyed and she was not looking forward to having to tell him about this unfortunate development. She hoped that the kids had been on their best behavior today.

As she made her way up their walkway she steeled herself, taking deep breaths. When she got through the door she set down her bag and pulled off her boots. The house was quiet, though she could faintly hear her husband's voice from upstairs. When she reached the upstairs hall she saw that he and Sevarun were playing wizard chess.

"Vina's asleep" he warned. "How was your day?"

Sevarun growled as one of his pawns got annihilated on the board.

"Oh, all right I suppose." Tam smiled, but she knew her husband would notice that something was off. He always did. She couldn't hide anything from him. As expected, as his eyes scanned her face his expression grew suspicious.

"Sevarun, why don't you put on a jacket and go outside for a while?" he suggested. "We'll finish our game later."

The boy nodded and hopped up from his chair. He was obviously happy for the reprieve from losing to his father yet again. He gave his mother a quick hug before he dashed down the stairs.

"What is it?" Severus asked.

Tam sat down in Sevarun's now-vacant chair. She carefully set the advance-copy of The Daily Prophet down on the chess board.

"Horace gave me this. It's tomorrow's edition. Page three."

He picked up the paper and Tam watched him turn to the proper page. After a few minutes he lowered it, his face not giving away what he was thinking. Tam braced herself.

Suddenly the newspaper flew up over their heads and exploded violently in mid-air. Tam silently thanked the heavens that Sevina was a heavy sleeper.

"I thought you might take it that way" she said quietly. "Horace got it from a friend of his that thought he might like to warn us. What do you think will happen?"

He shrugged, now looking very irritated. "My guess would be anything between absolutely nothing and an angry mob with torches, pitch forks, and of course, wands drawn. We'll have to wait and see. It's a pity, I like it here."

Tamara got up and went over to him so she could give him a kiss and play with his hair. "I know. Me too. I'm sorry that Voldemort still has to show up to haunt you even after all you did to redeem yourself."

Severus leaned into her touch. "Haunting _me_ I can live with. Haunting _you_ and our children… that is what bothers me."

"We're a family, so what happens to one happens to all, and that is ok. You're our rock and we are quite happy to be yours. Whatever this means, we'll do what we have to and we'll be fine."

He smiled at her endless loyalty. "Thank you."

As it turned out, there was no uproar in Peebles over their former death-eater neighbor. All the wizarding families in the area knew the Snapes already of course, and had gotten over any trepidation they may have had about Severus years ago. There was however a sudden influx of rather bothersome owl post. Some of it was actually quite positive, with people assuring Severus that they knew he had done his best, and praising him for his efforts _against_ Voldemort. Unfortunately, a lot of it was not so nice, with suggestions that imprisonment, and even execution, were too good for the likes of him.

Severus of course refused to read any of it, or even to acknowledge it for that matter, and that was fine with Tamara. For the first few days she had read the incoming letters out of curiosity, but after a few howlers and one letter that had exploded in her hands, she began tossing them directly into the fireplace.

"Why's everybody suddenly writing to dad?" Sevarun asked.

"Daddy gets lots and lots of mail!" Sevina chirped happily.

Tam smirked. "Well, daddy is a bit famous you see. It's because of the war."

"When he was a spy?" Sevarun asked, grinning with pride.

"Yes" Tamara nodded. "There was an article in the paper recently about… certain people who were in the war. Dad was on the list. Unfortunately the paper mentioned where we live. Some people want to show their support, and… some people don't see it that way."

The little boy nodded knowingly, and Tam was impressed by her son's maturity.

"Because dad had to do things that were not so good in order to be able to do the best good. He couldn't tell anybody, not even you, and now some people don't believe he was really good at all. I know. You told me that before."

"And you were obviously listening well" she said, patting his head. "You're a very clever boy."

He frowned. "Godfather Harry told people the truth about dad. So did aunt Min and Minister Shacklebolt. Why don't the people believe them?"

Tam shrugged. "I don't know honey. I think that they want someone to blame who is still alive. Voldemort's long gone and can't answer for anything he did now. A lot of people died because of him and their families want justice for that. It's hard for them to accept that his death has to be enough. That's why they lash out, I believe."

"Does it hurt dad's feelings?" he asked, still frowning.

"Well, for himself, no I don't think so. He's not terribly bothered by what people think of him. He does get worried about _us_ though. That's why the best thing we can do for dad is to never let what anyone says about him bother us. _We _know that he is a good wizard and we are proud of him and that is what matters."

Tam noticed that some of her students were suddenly much shyer around her than they had been previously. Undoubtedly the article had them a bit embarrassed as well. She did her best to ignore it, hoping that it would all blow over in a few weeks.

As Christmas approached, there were still quite a few letters turning up by owl every day, but not as many as there had been at first. It was back to business as usual for Tam's students, and that was a relief.

Tam took the children to Diagon Alley to do some holiday shopping. They had been invited to the Burrow for Christmas again as they always were, and after several years of declining, Tamara had managed to talk Severus into going this year. She was terribly excited, and wanted to make sure not to turn up empty handed.

Rather than going by floo, Tam took them into the alley via The Leaky Cauldron. She liked to go there in homage to Tonks, to think of their many drunken laughter-filled evenings there.

"Wotcher mummy!" Vina said, laughing.

Tam froze. "What? Where did you here that?"

"I've been here when I dreamed. The pink hair lady showed me. She said that to me, and she told me that she was your friend. She's very pretty and she said she has a little boy called Teddy and I asked her if it was _our_ Teddy and she said yes. She's very funny and I like her."

Sevarun looked from his little sister to his mother with a concerned expression. "Mum, Teddy's mum is…"

Tam nodded, and shushed him. "Yes, yes, I know. Vina, did she say anything else?"

The little girl closed her eyes in thought. "Ummm… she told me to give you kisses and I did that. She told me that she visits you when you don't know it and that she doesn't want you to be sad 'cause you're still mates and she's still here with you and someday you'll be able to see her again."

Tamara fought hard against the tears that were gathering in her eyes. "Oh my. Did she really?" she choked. "Well Vina, you tell my Dora, if you see her again… you tell her I love her ok?" She felt like sobbing and grinning all at once.

Sevina smiled cheerfully. "Ok, I will tell her that if she comes back. I hope she comes back because she makes funny faces at me! She can make her face like a ducky! She's so funny."

"All right mum?" Sevarun asked, still looking worried.

Tam nodded, sniffing slightly. "Yes. Oh, yes, I'm fine. Let's go babycakes; we have a lot to do."

They were right outside Flourish and Blotts when a voice called out "Miss Brookes! Sorry, Madam Snape?"

Tam turned around. "Draco! How are you dear?"

She watched as the blonde man's eyes scanned over her children. "I'm doing well" he said politely. "Yourself?"

She smiled. "Just fine, thank you. I heard through the grapevine that you and Astoria are expecting! How's it going?"

"Not bad" he said, looking pleased. "It's exciting isn't it? Is…" he hesitated. "Is your husband with you today?"

Suddenly Tam found herself wishing that he was. She knew he'd be pleased to see this young man looking so well. Lucius had invited them to Draco's wedding, and they had in fact attended, but they hadn't gotten more than a few seconds to speak to the groom.

"No, sorry to say. Draco, drop him an owl sometime. He'd love to hear from you, I know, and maybe you could make some plans to get together to catch up?"

He nodded. "I'd like that. I saw in the paper you're still in Scotland."

"Yes we are."

"Why Draco, look who you've found!" came a smooth voice from behind them. Tam tried to look casual as she pulled her children a bit closer to her. Sevarun was gazing into the window of the bookshop but Sevina stared up at the impeccably dressed newcomer with wide-eyed wonder.

Tam had noticed at Draco's wedding that Lucius was looking, for the most part, once again just as icily beautiful as he had when she first met him. She hadn't run into him during the Battle of Hogwarts however, and Severus had told her that at that point she might not have even recognized him if not for the long blonde hair. From what she was told, it had taken nearly two years for him to return to his former state. Today, once again, he was stunning.

"Mr. Malfoy! Good to see you" she said, and to her own surprise, in spite of her initial nervousness, she actually sort of meant it. She sensed no malice from him, only amusement that she guessed came from getting to see Sev's children.

"As it is a pleasure to see you my dear! This is a great treat, as I've yet to meet your youngsters. Call me Lucius, please. There must be no formalities between our families."

His smile was… apologetic? _Wow_ thought Tam. _He really means it._

"Of course Lucius" she said quietly, feeling rather guilty all of a sudden. Her mind waged inner war against itself as she thought of how much trouble this man had caused, whether he was sorry about it or not. _Oh to hell with it… people can change. Severus did. Harry never has to hear about this…_

"Merlin how they do resemble their father" he mused, studying the children. "Did they inherit his talent as well?"

Tam grinned, unable to stop herself. "Yes they did. He spends most of his time teaching them as well, so…"

"So Slytherin house has a very bright future coming to it indeed" he remarked, smirking. I'm glad to hear it. Perhaps at some point down the road he would be willing to take on another pupil in the person of my grandchild? It is never too early to start preparing young wizards for their destinies."

Draco looked a bit embarrassed so Tamara smiled at him.

"That's what Severus says" she agreed.

Sevarun finally looked away from the window to check out the men his mother was talking to, and Lucius chuckled.

"We won't keep your from your errands anymore Madam Snape" he said grabbing her hand and giving it a kiss. "Please do consider coming to visit us sometime over the holidays. We would love to see you all. Tell Severus that I won't take no for an answer."

"Thank you, we'll try to do that. I'll certainly tell him. You can call me Tamara, by the way, Lucius. You're right… no formalities." She smiled at him and again at Draco before they went their separate ways.

"Who was that?" Sevarun asked.

Tamara shook her head, still feeling a bit shocked by the encounter. "They're… some friends of your father's."

Between what Sevina had revealed and running into the Malfoys Tam knew she had a lot to tell Severus when they got home.


	32. Not So Silent Night

"Are you nearly ready? We were supposed to have left an hour ago."

Tamara glared at her husband as she passed him on the stairs. "Severus you know very well we weren't given an exact time. _You_ were the one who said we'd leave at six. Molly said dinner's at seven which means it will actually be eight so we are fine. Besides, I can't find Sevina's other boot…"

He rolled his eyes and held out his wand "Accio left ladybug boot." A rubber boot came sailing through the air from the utility room and he reached out his hand to catch it. Tam snatched it from him.

"Why don't I ever think to do that?" she asked, irritated.

He smirked. "If I answer that question you'll hit me. Are you quite ready _now_?"

"I will be, but I need you to take this and stuff those gifts in the lounge into it." She handed him a small leather bag that she had enchanted to have endless space inside.

Grumbling under his breath about bloody inconvenient holidays, Severus made his way to the lounge. Sevarun was hanging upside down over the back of the sofa with his hair dangling nearly to the floor.

"Is it time to go now?"

Severus shook his head. "No. Your mother insists on bringing _all _of the contents of our house along with us, so it will be a while yet I think."

Sevarun laughed, and his father grabbed him off of the couch and tossed him over his shoulder.

"Are you excited for Christmas?" Severus asked, spinning the boy in circles.

"Yeah!"

"Me too" he replied, setting his son on his feet. He laughed when Sevarun staggered sideways, giggling dizzily.

"You're a grown-up."

"Well-spotted" Severus teased, making a face.

Sevarun laughed again.

"I am excited for Christmas because I get to see you and your sister deliriously happy. That is the best thing I could ask for."

"Did your dad like to watch you on Christmas when you were a kid?"

Severus considered carefully how to respond. "My dad didn't like very many things, especially anything that had to do with me. That is why I make sure that I enjoy every moment that I get to spend with you."

"I'm glad I have you for a dad. You're the best one there is."

Severus manfully fought against the tears that threatened to gather in his eyes. He was determined not to let himself cry in front of his son, political correctness be damned.

"Daddy's the best daddy!" howled Sevina, skipping into the room.

"Yes he is" agreed Tamara. "And we are very lucky to have him." She said, giving her husband a playful slap on the rear.

When Tam was finally satisfied that they had everything, and that her children were at least _somewhat_ presentable, Severus scooped up Sevina and Tam grabbed Sevarun's hand, and they apparated to the Burrow.

Molly met them at the door. "OH!" she squealed, grabbing a very uncomfortable Sevarun for a tight squeeze. "You're getting so big!" When she let him go she reached up to kiss Sevina in Severus' arms. "And just look at you! Such a pretty girl!"

Severus smiled politely at Mrs. Weasley, and smirked when he saw Ron snickering behind her where he was sitting with Hermione. Sevina, enjoying the noisy attention, shrieked with laughter and wiggled to be let down. Severus set her on the floor and scanned the room for the most out-of-the-way place he could find. He had gotten better over the years at the whole _togetherness_ thing, but that didn't stop him from utilizing certain little tricks to make it slightly less traumatic.

Harry and Ginny Potter walked into the room holding hands and Molly turned to Tam excitedly "We've got news!" she said. "Harry and Ginny are going to have another baby!"

Tamara grinned at them "Congratulations!"

Sevina hopped up and down. "Baby, baby, baby!"

"And that isn't all" Molly continued. "We've just found out that our Ronald and Hermione are expecting their first! I'm so pleased I'm fit to burst!" She turned to face Arthur who was munching on a Christmas cookie. "Aren't we just thrilled daddy?"

Arthur nodded, smiling as he chewed. "Yes dear, elated!"

Ron and Hermione both looked mortified, and Severus thought to himself that they deserved a great deal of credit for managing to smile.

"My best parenting advice is to start remembering early on never to leave your wand lying out unattended" he muttered, which made Hermione laugh.

Harry knelt down to pick up Sevina. "Let me guess… that has to be referring to you?"

Vina grinned proudly.

Severus stepped closer to his children's godfather and said quietly "She turned our chaise into a pony. Don't mention that to my wife."

"Bloody hell…" said Ron, getting more nervous about his future by the minute.

Harry laughed, and then, after thinking about it for a minute he looked from the little girl in his arms over to her father with a very impressed expression. "A pony? Really?" he half whispered.

Severus nodded. "It ate a bit of a curtain before I could change it back."

"Minerva said the missing piece is likely now embedded in the stuffing of the chaise" Tam spoke up, smirking at her husband's surprised expression. "Yes, I _did_ already know about that and my hearing is better than you think."

He had the decency to look guilty.

"Where is… your oldest?" Severus asked Harry. He didn't _want _to have such difficulty saying the name James, but he couldn't help it.

Harry didn't seem to notice. "He's upstairs sleeping. Bit of a busy day."

"George should be here shortly, and Percy's coming as well. Bill and Fleur took our Victoire to see Fleur's parents this year, and Charlie can't make it due to his job" Molly explained to Tamara.

Hermione spoke up "Neville said he'd try to drop in."

"Good!" Tamara smiled. "Harry, do you know if Andromeda's bringing Teddy by? We brought his gift."

"I think she planned on it, yeah."

When George showed up he presented Ron and Hermione with a baby doll that was enchanted to scream at earsplitting volume whenever someone said the word "baby" in its presence. Everyone thought it was amusing except Molly, Hermione, and especially Ron who stared at it with a look of utter horror.

"Where's yours?" he asked Harry, scowling at the squalling plastic infant.

"Ours is at home somewhere shut in a cupboard" answered Ginny. "If you recall, he gave it to us when we had James on the way and you thought it was a much better joke when it was happening to someone else."

When Andromeda Tonks arrived with Teddy Sevarun immediately ran away with him to play. Seeing her son with the child of her best friends made Tam's heart ache thinking of what could have been, but she smiled when she remembered what Sevina had revealed to her at Diagon Alley.

The gift she had for Teddy was a framed picture of his parents under some of Tam's conjured mistletoe during their Christmas at Grimmauld Place before they had gotten together. As the photo versions of Remus and Tonks realized what was over their heads they both blushed and moved out of the way.

"That's one of my favorite pictures" she explained. "They were madly in love with each other by then, don't let the attempt to escape fool you."

Teddy, who was now eight years old, thought it was absolutely hilarious, and Tam was glad.

When they returned home later that night, and had put the children to bed, Severus and Tamara settled on the lounge sofa in front of the fire.

"That was… loud" commented Severus, referring to their evening at the Weasley home.

Tam laughed. "Yes, it was very loud. I loved every minute of it. Thank you for coming with us."

He smiled. "No trouble Mrs. Snape."

She grinned. He knew she loved it when he called her that.

"Mr. Longbottom told me that Minerva's asked him to come and teach Herbology when Pomona retires next year" he said.

"She told me she was going to! Is he going to do it? I hope so. It'll be nice to get to work with him."

Severus nodded. "He says that he's going to. He's also planning to propose to Hannah Abbott sometime in the near future. He asked me for advice on how to do it. I can't say I've ever been asked for help in the romance department before so I wasn't quite sure how to answer. I told him to send you an owl."

"I'd have liked to have seen your face when he asked you" Tam giggled.

Sev smirked. "I'll just bet you would."

"Good for Neville, anyway!"

"Indeed. Aside from that, it seems everyone is having babies this year. Young Mr. Malfoy, another for the Potters, and now the Weasleys."

"Better them than me!"

He looked at her strangely and she suddenly felt rather foolish. _Uh-oh._

"What makes you say that?" he asked, sounding a bit sulky.

She knew she'd better tread carefully. "Well… did we intend to? I thought we were satisfied with two."

He shrugged, looking into the fire in an obvious pout. "Apparently we'll have to be."

"Sev we've never talked about it. I didn't mean… I just didn't see us having any more, honestly. We can talk about it if you'd like."

He sighed. "I hadn't really thought about it until tonight. I suppose I never thought that we might be finished."

"Well, Sevarun turns six next month and Vina will be four in February. I'm thirty-five and I'm quite happy with being back to teaching. You're forty-five and I didn't think…"

"Are you saying I'm too old for more children?" he asked, trying to look stern, but she could tell he was teasing.

She giggled. "No, not at all! I just didn't think we were planning on any more, that's all. I love our life the way it is. If I were to get pregnant now I'd have to leave school to have the baby and I wouldn't want to go back for a while, obviously, so I'd have to take another year off at least. Then you'd have a toddler to tend to on top of teaching the other two and I can't imagine how difficult that would be. I guess I just didn't picture it being an option. We have a boy and a girl and I thought that was it."

He looked a bit sad, but nodded slowly. "I suppose it _is _it isn't it? You're right, of course. We have two very lovely children and I like being able to give them as much attention as they get. I think that we are in fact a complete family aren't we?"

She nodded back. "I think so. Is that ok?"

"Of course it is. Under one condition…"

"What's that?" she asked.

"That we keep doing lots and lots of _practice _baby-making even though we don't plan on doing any more of the actual making itself." His expression was a sly one, and Tam laughed.

"Sounds absolutely perfect."

In the morning, watching his kids open their gifts, Severus swore to himself (and not for the first time) that he would never take a single moment of their lives for granted.

"Whatcha' thinkin'?" Tam asked, handing him a mug of tea.

"I was thinking how glad I am that they get to have the sort of Christmases that I didn't even know existed."

A few days after Christmas an owl arrived from Narcissa Malfoy inviting Tamara and Severus to bring the children to spend a few days at Malfoy Manor. It was a very elegantly written letter on beautiful stationary and Tam was very impressed. Severus was totally dead-set against the idea of going, but she was slowly attempting to wear him down.

"I really don't think there is any danger in accepting their invitation. Draco really wanted to see you, I could tell. He seemed very disappointed that you weren't there. I _told _him to send you an owl."

"And if _he_ had sent it I would happily meet with him somewhere nice and safe for a drink and a chat but he did not send it and I do not want to take our children to Malfoy Manor" Severus insisted.

Tam rolled her eyes. "I thought you cared about Narcissa as well? She's the one who sent this. I think it would be fun for the kids to go such a grand place. Do they still have the big white birds, I wonder?"

"They were _death-eaters _and you want to go and see the bloody big white birds? Sometimes I really wonder about your priorities."

She laughed, knowing that she sounded like an idiot. "Listen, we'll both be there with the kids and Lucius seemed really genuine the other day. You know I'd never suggest such a visit unless I felt absolutely safe. I trust you to protect us and honestly… I feel bad for them. They've become pariahs since the war and I really do think they've changed. The people at Draco's wedding were mostly there because of Astoria's family, you know that. The hate mail we got after that newspaper article is nothing compared to what they've had, I'm sure, and everybody already knew where they were this whole time. They've probably been taking abuse since the war ended."

"Do you consider that entirely undeserved?" he asked, not unkindly, but trying to make a point.

"No, of course not. I know what Lucius did…"

"No, you don't. _I_ know what Lucius did, but you do not, and while that is probably for the best, I don't want you to make assumptions based on incomplete information."

"They left Voldemort before it was over and I don't think it was just because they thought he was going to lose. I think it was because they finally had a _chance_ to leave without being killed. People can change, Severus."

He was silent for a few minutes, thinking. Finally he said "If I get the slightest wind of anything I don't like we will be leaving, no questions asked."

Tam grinned. "Of course!"


	33. Times Change

Seeing the look on Sevarun's face when they apparated to the gates of Malfoy Manor made Tamara laugh.

"Pretty impressive, isn't it?"

"Does the Queen live here?" Sevina asked, her dark eyes wide in wonderment.

Severus snickered. "In a manner of speaking" he mumbled. "I cannot believe I have consented to this." He shot Tamara an annoyed look. "Anyone who ever had any doubts that you were meant to be a Slytherin obviously hasn't spent the last decade enduring your manipulation tactics."

She smirked. "It's a good thing you love me."

Severus pointed his wand at the gate but nothing happened.

"Apparently they've changed the spell" he muttered.

"After all this time did you expect it to be the same?"

He looked a bit embarrassed. "I suppose not."

A house elf popped into the air on the other side of the gate and with a wave of his little hand it swung slowly open.

"You are being the Snape family" he said respectfully, "and Gobey's master says he is to bid you welcome."

Sevina pointed and giggled, never having encountered a house-elf before. Sevarun grinned.

"Thank you Gobey" Tam said kindly. She didn't quite share Hermione Weasley's zeal for house elf equality, but she did believe in treating them with as much kindness and respect as possible.

"Still have your S.P.E.W. card?" Severus whispered, teasing her.

She giggled and smacked his arm.

Lucius greeted them when they stepped inside the Manor. "Ah, there you are!" He kissed Tamara's hand and gave Severus a nod of acknowledgment that she thought seemed a bit nervous. "So glad you could come!"

"Thank you for the invitation Lucius. It made for a nice excuse to get away for a few days" Tam said, smiling.

Severus gave her a dirty look.

"Gobey can show you to your rooms so you can prepare yourselves for dinner and then" he gestured to a small female elf in a lavender towel that was standing by the staircase "Luella can take the children on a tour of the grounds while we meet Narcissa for a drink in the sitting room."

"That won't be necessary Lucius, I prefer the children to remain with us" Severus insisted.

Now it was Tamara's turn to give him a dirty look.

Their host looked a bit embarrassed. "As you wish, but you have my word that no harm will ever come to them in my house old friend. I simply thought they might enjoy it."

"I want to go dad!" Sevarun whined.

"I can take them" came a voice from the stairs. "If it's all right."

Tamara smiled up at Draco and then looked to her husband to see what he would say.

He still looked hesitant but this time he nodded. "If it is all right with their mother then it is all right with me."

Tam nodded. "Absolutely, thank you Draco!"

He smirked. "No problem." Turning to Sevarun he asked "Want to go and meet the peacocks?"

Gobey led Tam and Severus up the stairs and down an ornate hallway. There were two rooms next to each other that both opened up when the little elf waved his hand.

"Mr. and Mrs. Snape can be staying in this room and the little Snapes can be staying in the next" he told them.

Severus opened his mouth to argue and Tamara tugged his sleeve to stop him.

"We can sort it out later" she whispered.

The bedrooms were amazing. It reminded Tamara of a five star hotel that one might see in a muggle film. She herself had never actually stayed in such grandeur. Her family in the U.S. were mostly country people and her little flat in London had been small and quite ordinary.

"This place is mind-blowing" she breathed, looking around the beautifully decorated room.

"If you're terribly impressed by such things" Severus grumbled. "Personally when I think of the sorts of deeds Abraxas Malfoy got up to in order amass this fortune I find it a bit less extraordinary." His eyes glittered wickedly. "Why don't you ask Lucius what happened to the muggles who lived on this land before his father _acquired _it to build the place?"

She sighed. "No, I think I'll pass on being rude and unkind to our host, if it's ok with you. I know you don't like this and I know you have every right to feel the way you do, but like I said before, I really do think they've changed. I think they're trying. Lucius looks so _ashamed_ around you. Throw him a bone, would you? I thought you two worked things out way back before we were married."

"He apologized for delivering me to my near death experience at the hands of the Dark Lord and I told him that I knew there was nothing he could have done about it. He expressed regret for his actions and praised me for mine. That is all, and it does not imply that he suddenly feels differently about any of his other ignorantly pompous opinions. Why don't you ask Andromeda Tonks what she thinks of the Malfoys? Bellatrix may well have slept in this very room before she murdered her own niece… "

Tamara flinched hard. "That was cruel to say to me Sev."

He glowered at her, but she could see regret in his eyes as well.

"I just don't get you sometimes" she complained. "You act like they're perfectly fine until they are actually kind enough to invite us here, now all of a sudden they're the lowest of the low? What's it all about?"

Severus inwardly cursed how well she knew him. "Tamara I have spent these last years trying very hard to distance myself from my past. The last time I was in this house I was here to meet with Voldemort."

He rarely ever said that name, even though the dark wizard was now long dead.

"I watched people die in this house. I watched a _colleague_ who begged me for help and called me her _friend_ die in this house. He fed her to the snake."

Tamara felt a bit sick then and sat down shakily on the bed. "Who was it?" she asked, horrified.

He looked devastated to have to tell her. "Do you really want to know?"

She nodded.

"It was Charity" he said, his voice a bit choked. "She looked me in the eyes and she begged me to help her and I had to sit there and stare at her like she was nothing. I watched it all with no more show of emotion than if I'd been watching someone walk by me on the street."

He sat down next to her and she put her arms around him.

"I'm sorry Sweet. I should have realized."

He sighed. "Lucius looked like hell then. He was drinking all the time and he had this jumpiness about him that you'd swear a loud noise could have stopped his heart. He was terrified, mostly for Narcissa and Draco. Poor Draco looked so traumatized by what they did to Charity it's a wonder he's still sane. She was his teacher and he had to watch her corpse become a snake's dinner. I think Lucius would have killed himself if not for Narcissa's support."

Tam didn't say anything. She was letting him reach his own conclusions.

He stood up again. "And what better experience to make someone see the error of their ways, is that the point?"

She gave him a sympathetic look and shrugged.

"Right. Being a spoiled prejudiced bastard is not deserving of all that was endured by my old friend, I'll give you that, but there _are _horrible crimes he is guilty of. Lucius reveled in things I did my best to avoid. He may well be sorry now, but it still happened."

"I don't doubt that. I just want to give them a chance to show that they've changed."

"Fair enough. I'll behave myself" he promised. "As long as I'm not given any reason not to."

Tam smiled and kissed him, but they were interrupted by Gobey's knock at the door. "Gobey's master is wondering if Mr. and Mrs. Snape are being ready to join him in the sitting room?"

Lucius served them some of the same champagne that they'd had at the Malfoy Christmas party back in 1992. Tamara couldn't resist taking the opportunity to say that this glass was missing some of the _zest_ that the other one had possessed.

Lucius blushed, but when he saw her grinning he chuckled. "Yes, well… remind me before you leave and I can give you the recipe for the…" he cleared his throat "_extra kick_."

Severus rolled his eyes. "You're lucky I didn't come back and kill you that night Lucius."

Narcissa gave Tam a confused look and she cringed, not wanting to explain.

Lucius laughed wickedly. "Oh come now, don't try to say you didn't enjoy it. Apparently your dear lady did or she wouldn't be sitting here with you now, would she?"

"I took her to Dumbledore and spent half the night struggling to concoct a cure" Severus scolded. "I've never been a big fan of date rape."

Now Narcissa looked horrified, and Tamara was blushing so hard she thought her face would catch fire.

"Severus we both know that it wouldn't have worked if she hadn't already had the… _inclination_." Lucius winked at Tam.

Spotting the chance to satisfy her curiosity on the matter at last, Tam asked him "Did you know it would be him and not someone else?"

The blonde man laughed again. "Of course I did. I _know_ women. I could tell from the moment he introduced us. I was happy for the old sourpuss."

Mrs. Malfoy by now had heard enough to get the gist of what had happened and she gave her husband a scolding look. "I certainly hope you didn't think that I had anything to do with it. If I'd had any idea I would have put a stop to it. Poor Severus, you must have been terribly embarrassed. For shame, Lucius!"

Tamara just couldn't help it anymore and she burst out laughing. Lucius did too, and Severus and Narcissa exchanged amused and sympathetic glances.

"I see you've married a child as well" Narcissa commented.

Severus nodded. "Yes."

"I do like your wife Severus" Lucius chuckled. "She is a very good sport."

When Luella appeared to announce that dinner was ready Severus volunteered to go and fetch Draco and the children. Tamara felt a bit awkward being left alone with their hosts.

"I want to thank you for convincing him to come" Lucius said quietly. "I know it couldn't have been easy."

Tam shrugged, smiling nervously. "Thank you for inviting us. He… well…" She didn't know what to say.

"No one can blame him" Narcissa spoke up. "I'm sure you must think me a monster for asking of him what I did. I can only appeal to you as a mother and say that I really felt I had no other choice."

Tamara looked confused, and the other witch realized with embarrassment that she didn't know what she was talking about.

"He didn't tell you did he?" Narcissa was blushing and she looked like she'd like to cry.

Tam shook her head.

"When Draco was ordered to…" she stopped.

Feeling quite sure she knew what the order was, Tam nodded. "Ok, yes, that I know about."

Narcissa went on. "I knew that he was not intended to succeed. We were being punished, you see. He was meant to die trying, or to fail and be killed for it. I was desperate to save my son and Lucius was locked away in Azkaban, helpless to do anything for us. I went to Severus because I believed that I could appeal to him for my son's welfare. I never intended for it to become what it did, I only wanted his help."

Tam was growing more confused by the minute, but she was reminded of that final year before Dumbledore's death when she had known there was something going on between Severus and Draco.

"Bellatrix followed me. She was trying to stop me from speaking with him. When he said he would try to help Draco she goaded him into making an unbreakable vow. I never intended to risk his life. I thought he must have told you. I'm sorry."

Tam was stunned, but suddenly so many things made sense.

"Narcissa, did you read in the Prophet about why Severus did what he did to Dumbledore? He was cursed and dying anyway, and he didn't want Draco to become an assassin and ruin his young soul. He also wanted to secure Sev's place with… well, with _Him_" she said, not wanting to upset them by saying the name out loud of the wizard who had terrorized them when they were in his service. "He needed Sev to be trusted by him so he'd be made Headmaster. He needed someone to protect the students. The vow made little difference in the face of all that, except maybe in regards to timing. Severus was willing to die to do what he had to do. I don't blame you for anything. As you said, I'm a mother too."

Narcissa smiled thankfully through her tears and Lucius looked more humbled than she'd ever seen him. It was an extremely uncomfortable moment.

"When that article came out in the paper, did you get any letters?" he asked quietly.

Tam nodded. "Oh yes. The vengeful masses came out in force."

He fixed a sad but determined gaze on her face. "We've had those for years. I don't complain, I had it coming, and I really don't care much at this point who hates me as long as my family is alive and well. It's the threats that are disturbing. I've spent the years since the war worrying that one of them someday will get through and murder my son or my wife. Now my son has a wife of his own, and her choice to marry him was not a well-received one. She and my unborn grandchild are at risk as well. I hope you can understand why we wish to at least make our peace with the few left who _may_ be willing to befriend us."

"Of course. We are your friends Lucius."

When everyone had returned they made their way to the dining room. The dinner was the most extravagant family meal that Tamara had ever seen. She wondered if they always ate this fancy or if it was being done for the benefit of their present company.

It was at dinner that they finally caught sight of Astoria. She was in her seventh month of pregnancy and looked exhausted. Tam felt sorry for her and was reminded again why she was content with the two children she already had.

Sevina, with the help of Luella the house elf, actually managed to remain uncharacteristically quiet and well-behaved, much to Tam's relief. She'd feared the worst from her normally exuberant daughter.

Sevarun was sitting next to Draco and he seemed to be trying to emulate everything the young man did.

Tam leaned over to Severus and whispered "Look out, I think your son has a new hero."

Severus chuckled.

That night, crammed into bed with the children in between them Severus silently lamented the fact that he had insisted on not letting the kids sleep in a room alone. He really would have liked to do some dirty things with Tamara in Lucius' guest bedroom, just for the satisfaction of knowing that he had.


	34. The Price We Pay

_Sorry this one is so short! I've been busy the last few days and my brain is all worn out from the holidays! Things will pick up again soon!_

* * *

><p>The next morning after breakfast Severus went for a stroll around the grounds with Draco. He was glad for the opportunity, as he had not had a chance to talk alone with the boy…<em>no he is a man now<em>, he reminded himself, since that fateful night atop the astronomy tower at Hogwarts.

They walked along the perimeter of the large iron fence, and spent several minutes in uncomfortable silence before Severus finally spoke up.

"I find myself unsure of where to start after all these years" he mumbled.

Draco smirked. "Yeah, I know the feeling." After a few more minutes he finally said "Honestly I've spent the last eight years wanting to say thank you. You killed your friend so I didn't have to, and you saved my life. I know I wasn't terribly appreciative at the time, but… I'm thankful every day for what you did."

"I'd say _you're welcome_ but I'm afraid I have no intention of ever _welcoming _such a task ever again. I am glad that I was able to be of help to you, however. I'm sorry you were put into such a horrid situation at that young age in the first place and I am pleased to see that you've been able, it seems, to get on with your life."

"It took some time" explained Draco. "After we left Hogwarts that night, watching him fall, and seeing what my aunt was doing… I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to go back to just being at school and having my old life back like it was before Voldemort ruined everything. I knew that there was no hope of that though, and I became very depressed. Potter saved my life during that last battle. He saved me even though I attacked him. Seeing what was happening… I just couldn't go on with it anymore, even if it meant I'd be killed. I didn't care. I only went to Voldemort because of my mother. When she called to me I had to go to her because I didn't want to hurt her and I didn't want him to decide to kill her if I refused him. When Potter revealed he was still alive we left, and father followed us. He told me you were dead and I was very sorry for that. It was a huge relief when we found out you'd actually survived."

"I almost didn't" Severus admitted. "I've got Tamara to thank for my continued existence."

Draco smiled. "That's what father said after he met up with you a few years ago. We'd heard the rumors before that, of course, and I was sure they were true. I could tell by the way she always looked at you that she'd have done anything for you. When I heard father telling mother that Miss Brookes had ditched you for your blood status I knew you'd lied to him and even though at that point I didn't understand why, I never said anything. I'm glad now that I didn't because I understand very well why you didn't want people to know."

"Thank you" Severus said sincerely. He was well aware of the things that could have happened if the Dark Lord had found out about his feelings for Tamara. He'd have used her to manipulate him and she likely would have ended up dead.

"What would you have done?" Draco asked. "Would you have kept doing your duty or would you have said sod it all and died for her?"

Severus smirked. "Honestly I don't know. I try not to think about it, outside of the nightmares, anyway." He sighed. "I think I'd have kept to my task and then gladly gone to join her in death when it was all over. That's what she tells me I would have done, anyway."

"Knowing you, I think she's probably right. You're strong like that." Draco looked at him with obvious admiration and it made Severus uncomfortable.

"Have you seen Potter lately?"

Severus nodded. "Yes. It looks like your child will be starting school with one of his in a few years. His wife is pregnant again. So is Weasley's."

Draco shook his head. "My child's got to compete with a spawn of Granger? Bad luck, that. Good for them though, I suppose. Father got all excited when he heard you were teaching your kids because he wants to hire you to tutor mine as well. If you were interested I can't think of anyone I'd rather have teaching him."

"Him?" Severus asked.

Draco nodded, smiling. "It's a boy, we found out. I didn't tell father yet."

Severus snickered. "He'll be thrilled, but furious that you didn't tell him. I'll consider the offer. I hadn't really thought of taking on any pupils who weren't my own offspring, but when the time comes, perhaps I'll be ready."

"Thank you."

Suddenly Severus was startled to hear a voice from outside the fence yelling "Murderers! Death-eater scum!"

A few large rocks came flying over the fence and then bounced back out again, repelled by a protective charm.

He looked at Draco questioningly and the younger man simply shook his head.

"Children from town. We get it a lot."

Severus parted the hedge with his wand and was surprised to see four boys who couldn't have been older than eight or nine. They were poised to throw some more stones at the fence but dropped them when they saw him.

The boys turned to run, but one who was a bit larger than the others screamed out over his shoulder "Killers! Voldy's gone moldy! You'll get yours someday!"

Severus used his deepest "teacher voice" to call after them "If you're so certain of your accusations then perhaps it would be wise to _avoid_ coming near this property again. If your parents can't be bothered to teach you any manners I personally would be happy to do so the next time you approach this fence!"

Screeching in terror, the boys ran faster, disappearing over the hill.

"Father was attacked a few times in town, but not for a few years now. Most places we're ok and people leave us alone. Scared probably. The ones that live nearby though, they don't like it that we stayed."

Severus studied the face of his former student, unsure of what to say to him. However he felt about the actions of the young man's parents, he couldn't help but feel very sorry for Draco. He'd been trained from a young age to be what his father had wanted him to be, and unfortunately the cost of to him had been immense.

"Have you ever thought of leaving?" he asked, carefully. "Distancing yourself?"

Draco smirked. "It's crossed my mind. Mother won't leave, and I just can't break her heart. It'll get better, I think. I hope. Perhaps it won't be so bad for my son."

"Perhaps" Severus said gently, and he hoped for the child's sake that it would be so.

That night after the children had gone to sleep Severus told Tamara about the stone-throwing boys and his conversation with Draco.

"I can't help but think it would be best for his wife and child if he moved away from here, even for a few years. The more time passes the better, and he wouldn't have to go far. Even in France they could likely live without being recognized."

Tam nodded. "Probably. I'm sure it would be easier. This is the only home he's ever known though, and he's spent his whole life poised to reign over it someday. He's very close to his mother and after having been so afraid that he might lose her… well, I can see why he doesn't want to leave. I guess I also have to give him credit, in a way, for staying put and not being chased away."

"If he were not a husband on the verge of fatherhood I would agree with you, of course." Severus looked over at the bed where his children were sleeping.

Tamara smiled at him lovingly. "You always make us your top priority, I know. I can't ever express how much that means to me. Draco will find his way and do what's best, either way. He's matured a lot."

"He won't truly know what he must do until he holds his child" Severus said quietly. "Only then will he know what decision is the best, whatever it may be."

They returned to Peebles with a much greater understanding of the Malfoy family. Severus felt a bit more at ease with Lucius and Tamara just felt terribly sorry for them all, in spite of the lingering worry that she was betraying so many of her other friends by associating with them. Sevarun had become very fond of Draco, and spent their first evening home talking about him. Sevina announced that when she grew up she wanted to be a peacock. All in all it had been a very enlightening little visit.

Tamara wasn't surprised that as soon as they got the children into bed she found herself immediately dragged to their own bedroom by her husband. Two days of having Sevarun and Sevina in between them had left him rather frustrated, and he was determined to make up for lost time.

Afterwards, staring up at the ceiling with him happily collapsed on top of her she couldn't help but giggle. He hadn't been quite _that_ enthusiastic in a while.

"I'm going to have to deprive you more often" she teased. "It brings out the beast within, apparently."

"That's cruel" he grumbled, his voice muffled by her shoulder.

Now that they were home it was back to life as usual with Tam having to get ready to return to Hogwarts. The New Year meant that they were quickly approaching Severus and Sevarun's shared birthday, and she was considering what to do about it this year. She had considered a surprise party, but she knew that the two men in her life were both rather averse to crowds, and would both likely have been horrified by the very thought. It left her searching for a good idea and she decided she'd have to ask Minerva for suggestions when she got back to school.

"Do you absolutely _have _to go back?" Severus asked, pretending to sulk. "I rather enjoy having you at home with us."

Tam smiled. "Yes, I'm afraid I do. You'd get tired of me if I was always here, and I'd miss everybody if I didn't go back."

He gave her an offended look. "I never got tired of you when we both worked and _lived _there together and you weren't even shagging me then. Why in the world would I get tired of you now that I can get into your knickers whenever I like? It makes absolutely no sense."

"Remember Sweet, absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"No, in my case, absence irritates the impatient wizard, but apparently you don't care. I see quite clearly now how much my feelings matter." He pouted, making her laugh.

"Your feelings matter to me more than anything my love, and you know it. Stop grumbling. Besides, if you never got the chance to miss me you'd never get the joy of welcoming me home, would you?"

He shrugged, still playing. "I suppose that's true. I just hope you miss me as much as I miss you while you are away and not making goo-goo eyes at that young Ancient Runes teacher."

She laughed again, and said "Goo-goo eyes? I'll have to write that one down for posterity! Bloody hell. I told you, that poor boy is no competition to you. I have all the wizard I need right here, and I would never give that up for anything in the world. The sun for me rises and sets in your eyes and the earth revolves around your considerable ego."

It was his turn to laugh. "Not so considerable" he insisted. "You wound me saying things like that."

She knew he was still being silly, but she indulged him by rubbing his neck. "Oh, I am so terribly sorry."

"Well I have to forgive when you do that, don't I? Listen, tell Minerva thank you for the nice tea set she sent us for Christmas. Don't forget, it looks like it was expensive."

Tam nodded. "Will do. Anything else?"

"Yes, come back home as quickly as possible."

She kissed him and giggled before she walked out the door.


	35. Young Mr Lupin and The Old Bats

_It seems I am Queen of the Short Updates lately! Sorry about that, it's been hectic here with all this real life getting in the way. I'd rather be enjoying writing about our dear Severus, but oh well. _

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><p>With the holiday break over with and Tamara back to work Severus set about the task of getting Sevarun and Sevina back into their usual routine. It wasn't proving to be as easy as it had been in years past. He knew this was probably because as they were getting older their lessons were getting a bit harder and they were also becoming more aware of the distractions around them.<p>

All Sevarun really wanted to learn about at the moment was Draco Malfoy, and now, since Tamara had begun to tell him the story of _How Godfather Harry Defeated The Dark Wizard Voldemort_ he was rapidly expanding that to include several other of Draco's former schoolmates as well. Severus was wavering between exasperated amusement and mild embarrassment at some of his son's questions.

"So Draco and Godfather Harry weren't friends?"

"No. They were… rivals, of a sort."

"Why?"

"They had their reasons."

"Harry didn't like you either?"

"No."

"Why?"

"He had his reasons."

"Did you like him?"

"If I'm honest, not terribly, no."

"Why?"

"Sevarun, I was under the impression we were discussing charms today."

"Yeah. Was Godfather Harry good at charms? How about Draco?"

"I was the potions teacher, so I didn't have reason to know."

"Were they any good at potions?"

"Mr. Malfoy was."

"How about Harry?"

"Occasionally, when he managed to pay attention."

"Why didn't he pay attention?"

"I don't know. Why don't you ask him?"

"Do you think it was because he didn't like you?"

It was looking like it would be a very long day. Sevina, for her part, had snuck away during Sevarun's lesson and exploded a feather pillow, using some of Tamara's glue to attach the white fluff to her clothing.

When she came back into the lounge Severus stared at her in shock. "Sevina what is that all over your jumper?"

She grinned proudly. "These are my feathers. I am a white peacock."

"Hen. You'd be a peahen because you're a girl" Sevarun commented, helpfully.

"Yes, thank you for that Sevarun" Severus muttered, smirking. "Is that what's left of mummy's pillow?"

"It used to be mummy's pillow but I borrowed it" explained Sevina. "Now it is my feathers."

Severus suddenly had an overwhelming urge to simply collapse to the floor in a fit of giggles, but he decided that as the adult in the situation, he really should think of a better course of action.

"I see that. Perhaps we could take your feathers off before mummy gets home, and then not mention to her that I conjured her a new pillow?"

Severus had learned over the years that sometimes, as a parent, it was easier to pick one's battles. Also, he had learned that sometimes as a husband, it was easier to keep some things just between him and the children.

For Sevarun and Severus' joint birthday they decided to gather up Teddy Lupin and take a trip to the London Aquarium. Before they left Andromeda's house the standard rules for mingling with muggles were gone over again, just in case. They should be careful to avoid making any mention of magic. They also should try very hard not to accidentally make anything strange happen that might frighten the muggles, and they should not laugh at anything daft that any of the muggles may say or do because that was rude. In Teddy's case, it was also added that he must not change his appearance at all while he was out in public, and that included his hair color.

Much to the relief of Severus and Tamara, nothing too terribly disastrous happened, although there were a few disapproving looks from some older women at Teddy's turquoise hair.

"Imagine dying a little boy's hair that crazy color!" remarked one old bitty to another.

"It's not dyed, it's always like that unless I change it and gran said I wasn't allowed today because of the muggles!"

Severus snorted, and Tamara quickly steered all three children to another exhibit.

"Remus would have loved that" she whispered to Severus. "And Tonks would have told that woman to get bent."

"Rightly so" he said. "Imagine the nerve of trying to dictate the proper color of someone's hair, regardless of their age. Rude old bat."

"HA! That lady's a RUDE OLD BAT!" screeched Sevina, eliciting indignant glares from the two old women, who were still near enough to hear her.

Severus and the boys snickered while Tamara turned a deep shade of red and ushered them all farther away.

"I liked the sharks" Sevarun said, on their way out.

Teddy nodded. "Me too."

"I liked the big octopuses!" Sevina announced.

"Octopi" Sevarun corrected, just as Severus was opening his mouth to do the same.

Noticing that her husband and son had once again had the same thought, Tam laughed.

"_Octopuses_ is also in the dictionary you know" she mumbled. "And they were my favorite too, Vina."

"You're smart" Teddy commented to Sevarun. "You're going to be in Ravenclaw I'll bet."

"Nah! I'm going to be in Slytherin like my dad. I'll bet you'll end up in Gryffindor like your dad too."

"My mum was a Hufflepuff" Teddy said proudly.

"Yes she was" Tam agreed. "Did you know she had Sevarun's dad for a potions teacher?"

Teddy looked over at Severus with wide eyes.

Severus smirked. "She was a decent student, if a bit on the wild side."

This pleased Teddy, and he grinned.

"Your mother was brave, kind, talented, and the most fun witch I have ever known" Tamara told him. "Your dad was sweet and determined, and full of courage and he always inspired everyone not to give up. They were my best friends and I miss them every single day. It makes me very happy when we get to see you because you are a part of both of them that is still here in the world."

"Thanks" Teddy said. "I like hearing about them. Gran talks about mum a lot but she didn't know my dad as good as you did."

Sevina wrapped her arms a little tighter around Severus' neck and he had a feeling that he knew what she was thinking. Later that night when he tucked her into bed she said to him "I'm glad you and mummy are alive and did not die like Teddy's daddy and mummy did."

He wasn't sure what to say, so he just gave her a kiss on the forehead and put out the lamp with his wand. "I love you sweetheart."

"Love you too daddy."

Slipping into bed with Tamara, Severus said "Young Mr. Lupin is a very good role model for our children, isn't he?"

She set down the book she'd been reading and looked at him. "Yes, he is, and considering he's only seven, that is a pretty nifty thing indeed. He inherited Remus' skill for dealing gracefully with adversity."

"I see that." He grinned, remembering the events of the day. "Which of us do you suppose Sevina inherited her sense of tact from?"

Tamara giggled. "You, definitely. I have called a few people _old bats_ in my life but I have yet to ever scream it out right in front of them in an aquarium full of people. That seems more like your style."

"I don't scream. I think she got my tact combined with your volume."

She nodded, having to admit that he was probably right. "Yeah. That makes sense. As for Sevarun, he's serious like you but sensitive like me."

"You don't think I'm sensitive?"

Tamara laughed. "No, you're more what I'd call _touchy_."

"That's rude" he grumbled, eliciting more giggles from his wife.

He smirked at her, and playfully elbowed her in the ribs.

Still giggling, Tam shook her head, suddenly struck by the unexpectedness of her life. All those years spent knowing that she could never love another man the way she did Sev but fearing that she might never have the chance to know a normal existence with him had finally led her to what they had now, and it still sometimes felt too good to be true.

When she looked back over to him she saw that he was watching her with a curious expression.

"Just thinking that I never dared to hope for a life like this with you. I try to remind myself to never take it for granted because I could have easily found myself with nothing to hold onto but memories and regrets." She glanced at the now faint scars on his neck. Dittany had lightened them considerably but not entirely erased them.

Severus pulled her into his arms, and she snuggled into his chest appreciatively.

"You have yourself to thank for my presence in your life. I know I didn't exactly make it easy, yet you kept faith in me. Then you literally yanked me back from Death's door." He chuckled. "The last time I visited Hogwarts Sybil Trelawny told me it was because you are a Taurus. Do you think that's true?"

She knew he was teasing. "Absolutely. I am certainly as stubborn as a bull." She giggled. "Sevarun would tell me that since I am a female I'm not a bull but a cow."

He laughed out loud and then made a stern face. "I would never allow our son to call his mother a cow."

"Thank you for that" she snickered. "Sev, did you have a nice birthday?"

"Of course I did. You always make sure I do. For me the time of unpleasant birthdays is long gone, and I don't miss it a bit."

Smiling evilly at him she asked "So… how old are you again?"

"Old enough to deserve a little respect, my cheeky little witch. Now get out of that nightgown so I can have my gift…"

"Mmm… that sounds more like a gift for me."

He gave her a wicked smirk and said "If you behave yourself it just might be."

Some time later, sprawled out in a tangled mess of sheets, sweating and dazed, Tam mumbled "500 points for Slytherin."

Severus was too tired to laugh properly but he did manage a little giggle. "Why thank you Madam Snape."

"Don't mention it."

Staring at her contentedly, he found himself thinking about what she'd said earlier about how things could have turned out differently.

"Tamara?"

"Hmm?"

"If I had died and there was a portrait of me up at Hogwarts… would you have spent all your time talking to it?"

She slid across the bed and laid her head on his bare chest. "Probably. Yes. I'm sure I would have, actually. I'd have camped out underneath the damn thing for the rest of my miserable life."

He kissed her temple and gave her a squeeze. "I left instructions in Dumbledore's desk to Minerva that if they put one up somewhere she was to make sure that you never found out about it."

"That's horrible! Why would you do that to me? I can't believe she never told me that." She was so shocked by his revelation that she started to shake.

"I couldn't stand the thought of you wasting your life on a picture in a frame. Thank you for loving me, darling, and thank you yet again for saving my life because it has given me the chance to spend all these years with you knowing what it is like to be loved."

Tears filling her eyes, Tamara hugged him as tight as she possibly could. "I do love you so much. Even if I only had a portrait I would rather have that than nothing at all. To live without you, for me, would not be living."

"Never mind, my love, let's not think about it anymore. We're still here and I promise you I will do everything in my power to remain right here with you for many, many years to come."

She sighed, happy to be holding him. "Good."


	36. Leaving On a Jet Plane

_I may go a long time between updates with this one at this point, but I just have to come back to it every now and then! Be looking for more of the family's vacation over the next few days because I am having a blast writing about it!_

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><p>When the end of the school year signaled once again for Tamara a summer at home with her family she decided that this year she wanted to do something different. She hadn't been home to America in several years, not since the summer after the death of Albus Dumbledore, and she felt that the time had finally come for her children to see the land of their mother's birth.<p>

The idea of a trip home with her husband and their children was exciting to her, but the idea of broaching the subject with Severus was not. She dreaded what he would say when she told him that she wanted to travel via airplane, rather than apparition, and wanted to do some traveling in her home country other than just visiting family. She knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but she was determined that her children should be given some experience outside of the sheltered world that they were used to.

Tamara planned a month long trip out on paper and then went to the muggle library in town to book their flights and hotel rooms on the internet. If it was already all said and done she knew that Severus would have less room to tell her no… not that he wouldn't try anyway, of course.

Next, she sent owl post to her mother, her brother, and her grandmother to let them all know that they were coming. When all the arrangements had been made, she finally tackled the hardest part of her preparations, which was telling her husband.

Tam knew that the best time to spring it on him was in front of the children when she had all of their undivided attention. She knew that Sevarun and Sevina would be positively beside themselves and that would make it nearly impossible for Severus to refuse.

She made his very favorite shepherd's pie for their dinner with treacle pudding for dessert. Since she wasn't usually the one who did the cooking in their family, Severus was suspicious immediately.

"Darling, it's not that I don't appreciate the gesture… but I cannot help but wonder if there is any particular reason that you have gone to all of this trouble on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday evening."

Sevarun grinned, looking back and forth between his parents. He clearly had the same suspicions as his father. Sevina was too busy inhaling her second helping of treacle pudding to notice that anything may be amiss.

Tamara tried to look as innocent as possible. "You know, actually, yes there is in fact a reason why I've made us a special dinner tonight. I have a surprise for all of you and I wanted to make it as memorable as possible."

She could tell by her beloved's face that he was not amused. "I hate surprises" he said. "You are very well aware of that fact."

"What's the surprise mum?" asked Sevarun, practically bouncing out of his chair.

"A pony!" screeched Sevina.

"No ponies!" corrected Severus and Tamara at the same time.

"Poo…" she pouted, digging back into her pudding.

Sevarun giggled.

"Don't say _poo_ at the dinner table Vina" Severus scolded. He turned back to his wife. "Well? You may as well get on with it."

Tam grinned at him, knowing he was going to be severely annoyed. "I've booked us a trip to the U.S. to visit my family."

His eyebrow shot up at once, and she could tell by his face that she was in trouble. "What do you mean you've _booked _a trip?" he asked.

"Just what I said. I booked a trip. We'll fly over, and visit my relatives a while, then do some traveling around to show you and the kids the sights. It'll be fun."

"Fly over? That's an awfully long trip by broom, especially for the children. I really don't think this is a good time for…"

She cut him off. "No, not by broom, by plane."

He looked at her as if she had grown antlers. "By _what_?"

She bit her lip to keep from laughing at him. "By _plane _dear. Airplane? They are like very large busses with wings that muggles use to fly through the air."

"Yes I do know what they are, thank you. I simply do not understand why in the bloody hell you would think for even a moment that I would wish to board one with our children and be flung across the ocean with our lives in the hands of a bunch of completely idiotic muggles of clearly questionable sanity. I think I must be misunderstanding you somehow, because I am quite sure that you know me well enough to realize that there is absolutely no possibility that I would ever agree to such a thing."

"I think it'll be brilliant!" chirped Sevarun, looking thrilled.

"You don't have a vote" Severus snapped, giving his son a cautioning glance.

Tam rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with airplanes Severus. Muggles fly them all the time. They hardly ever crash. Besides, I've already bought the tickets so we have to go."

"_Hardly ever crash?_ Have you completely lost your mind?" He shook his head in disbelief. "And what do you mean you've already bought tickets? You went and did this without asking me? Surely you knew what I would say."

She nodded. "Of course I did, that's why I did it. I've already told my family that we're coming as well and they are positively overjoyed."

His glare could have melted glass. "It's a shame that they'll have to be disappointed because we most certainly will not be going."

Ordinarily when he used that tone most people would have sooner jumped into a tank of hungry sharks than defy him, but Tamara was not most people, and this trip meant a lot to her.

"Sev I haven't seen my family since that summer when you were… you know… after Albus. That was the last time I went home. They don't know you and they don't know our children. They're our children's family too, you know. Other than us the only family the kids have. I really need you to say yes to this. It's important."

His expression changed and she knew she had won. There was no way he would be able to say no to that. He loved her too much and she knew it.

"We're not flying in one of those muggle death traps" he said quietly.

"We'll pack a portkey in case something happens. It's perfectly safe" she insisted.

"We'll stay for a few days…"

"I planned us a month."

He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples in frustration. "Do you know why I'm doing this?" he asked her.

She grinned at Sevarun and he snickered.

"Because you love me very much and don't want me to be sad" she replied, adoring him all the more for it.

He nodded. "Precisely. Between this and dragging me off to the Malfoys' after Christmas you've used up your favors for quite a while so I suggest you keep that in mind. I won't be going anywhere again for a very long time no matter what you say. Is that understood?"

She nodded back at him, and he knew by her smile that he would, at least, be going to bed very well rewarded.

Over the next few days Tamara busied herself with packing while Severus did his best to show his displeasure at having been shanghaied. He sent an owl to Molly Weasley with news of their impending trip in hopes that she would beg Tamara to reconsider traveling by muggle jet. Naturally, she did just that, but any effect it may have had was unfortunately negated by an ecstatically excited Arthur, who made Tam promise him she'd take lots of pictures for him and give him a full report on the experience when they returned.

Determined to at least insure his family's safety as best he could, Severus requested a portkey that he could keep in his carry-on luggage in the event that they should have to escape the plane mid-flight. He didn't like it, and swore that he would never do it again, but for Tamara's happiness and his children's chance to see their roots, he resigned himself to enduring muggle air travel just this once.

On the day of their departure they were to set out from Edinburgh Airport via British Airways. They had to be there very early in the morning, but Sevarun and Sevina were both practically shaking with excitement. Their parents were very specific about what they could and could not do while at the airport or on the plane. They were reminded repeatedly that they needed to be mindful of the fact that they would be surrounded by muggles for far longer than what they were normally used to.

The security line made Severus terribly nervous and when the agents insisted on inspecting he and Tamara's wands he very nearly lost his temper.

"Would you mind telling us what these are for?" the man asked them.

"They are… decorative" Severus explained, trying very hard to maintain his patience.

"You can't touch daddy's wand!" shouted Sevina. "He gets very cross when you do that. You'll have to go and sit in the corner!"

Sevarun snickered and Tamara nearly bit her lips bloody in trying not to laugh.

The security agent looked skeptical and he seemed reluctant to give the wands back. "Wand?" he asked.

Severus nodded. "Yes, they're family heirlooms made by my grandfather as a gift when I was a child. My wife and I are taking them with us to show her relatives in America. They're quite old and I would very much like them back… please." The _please _was said very politely but with an expression that clearly said there could very well be a problem if the request was denied, and thankfully the agent decided it wasn't worth a scene.

The children thought it was very funny that they had to take off their shoes, although their father was not at all amused. He was not in the habit of removing his boots in front of strangers and had been tempted to hex the entire airport with a mass case of boils. Tamara's gentle hand on his back was calming enough to dissuade him… just barely.

When they finally made it onto the plane they found that they were to be seated in two rows, one in front of the other. The children each wanted window seats, and Tamara and Severus both agreed that it was best if each child had a parent to sit with, so Severus would be spending the flight with Sevina while Tamara and Sevarun sat just in front of them.

"Daddy when will the wings start flapping?" Sevina asked him, her big dark eyes full of wonder.

Severus smirked. "I don't think they do, Vina."

"Then how does the plane get up?"

"It has an engine" he explained, bracing himself for the slew of questions that was bound to come next.

"What's an engine?"

Since he wasn't entirely sure just how they worked himself he decided he would have to change the subject as soon as possible.

During the eight hour flight, to Severus and Tamara's relief, their children didn't do anything that might be questionable to the non-magic folk around them. There were several trips to the bathroom, complaints about the food, delighted squeals at the in-flight movie, and a few spilled bags of peanuts, but all in all nothing that couldn't be handled.

Nevertheless, when they landed in New York Severus was ready to use his wand to blow the glass out of the window and personally fly them all out and away from the infernal contraption that had held them captive for so long. He was exhausted, had a headache, and was suffering from a positively wicked cramp in his left buttock. Enough was definitely enough.

When they emerged out into JFK airport, Tamara turned to her husband with a smile. "Well… that was fun!"

He aimed a glare at her that could have leveled whole cities. "Sometimes I think you're possessed by Albus Dumbledore and he's hell bent on tormenting me from beyond the grave."

Tamara laughed.

"I don't really like planes mum" Sevarun admitted. "It was neat for a while… but that was a really long time and my bum hurts."

"Mine too" grumbled Severus. "And that so-called _food… _I suspect it was toxic. I placed a protective charm on Sevina's just in case. As a result, I'm starving, and I think that our first order of business should be finding something to eat."

Both children voiced their agreement, and Tam found that she couldn't argue.

"Ok, ok, we'll eat… but not here at the airport. We're in New York City for crying out loud! We can find someplace memorable to have… well, breakfast, I suppose because it's just past ten in the morning here."

Sevina looked confused. "Mummy we left at seven. Was the plane charmed so that three hours felt like many, many millions of hours?"

Sevarun laughed at his little sister. "It wasn't millions of hours it was only eight. The reason why we left at seven AM and it is now only ten AM here is because there is a time difference of five hours between Scotland and here. Back home it's after three in the afternoon."

Pleased, Severus patted his son on the head. "Indeed. Anyway, let's get out of here _please_."

He was not happy when he learned that they would have to once again use muggle transport to get to where they needed to be. Apparating into the Times Square area was not a good option, so they were left with limited choices. Severus immediately vetoed the subway, having had the unpleasant experience once in London and vowed never to repeat it. Tamara was disappointed but did not argue. They ended up deciding on taking a taxi, so the four of them crammed into a slightly smelly yellow car and made their way to the hotel that Tamara had reserved their room in for the night.

After they checked into the hotel they made their way back out onto the street to seek a meal. Tam could tell that her family was flabbergasted by the hugeness of it. The parts of London that Severus and the children had been in were very different than Times Square in New York. Severus looked, frankly, horrified. To her surprise, he had no complaints, but seemed to have been actually shocked into silence. She led them to a restaurant that she thought looked like it might be nice, and they sat down to a rather pleasant breakfast.

"Does our gran live here?" Sevina asked through a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

Tamara laughed and shook her head. "No! Certainly not. Nowhere near here, actually. This is just one of the places I wanted you to be able to see. We'll be going to gran's in the morning. She lives out in the country in Pennsylvania where I grew up."

Sevarun looked sick. "Do we have to get on another plane?" he asked warily.

"Absolutely not!" Severus assured him. "We're never getting on another plane as long as we live. We'll be apparating to your grandmother's and every other place we need to go from here on out as well. Your mother has had her little experiment and I trust she's got plenty to tell Mr. Weasley, so that will be the end of it."

"I have our return tickets…" Tam argued.

"And I intend to burn them" he growled, convincing her that it was best to just give up.

Both children heaved huge sighs of relief.

Tamara wanted to get right down to the business of sightseeing but Severus insisted that they must go back to their hotel room for a nap first. She knew that he was probably right, so she didn't argue. It had been a very long flight, and she knew that as tired as she was, the children had to be feeling much worse.

Their room had two double beds and after settling Sevarun and Sevina in one, Tamara and Severus crawled under the covers of the other and didn't awake for several hours. It was nearly dinner time when they finally arose.

After a few hours of sightseeing and dinner in yet another restaurant, everyone was once again longing for a bed. When the children had gone to sleep Severus and Tamara opened up the mini bar and snuggled up to discuss the day.

"Do you hate me for putting you through this?" she asked him, resting her head on his shoulder.

He laughed, taking another swig of the small bottle of scotch that he was working on. "No. I could never hate you. However, you are going to be indebted to me for at least a year for this nightmare, you know that don't you?"

She nodded, cringing as she took a swallow of vodka. "Yes. I know. Steak and BJ day is going to be a monthly occurrence rather than yearly isn't it?"

His grin was wicked when he replied "Weekly my dear. Definitely _weekly._"


	37. To Grandmother's House We Go

_I apologize that this is such a short chapter, but I've been ridiculously busy and I thought that a small update was better than none at all! I have plans for the next one, and this is a good place to leave off until I can get to it. Thanks to all who are still reading!_

* * *

><p>Tamara was determined that the children should be shown as many of the sights that New York had to offer as they could possibly manage. To Severus' dismay, that meant that they would embark on not one, not even two, but three muggle bus tours.<p>

Sevarun enjoyed seeing the Statue of Liberty, but the highlight of Sevina's day was the pizza she got from a vendor in Battery Park. Tam had only ever visited the city herself once before, and she was thrilled to be back.

"I always wondered what it would be like to live here" she commented to Severus, in their seats aboard an open-topped double decker tour bus.

"Rather like London I would think" he said. "Except it seems even noisier, and even more crowded with muggles."

One of the bus tour guides was a chubby older man with a pronounced Brooklyn accent. He spent the entire tour telling embarrassingly corny jokes. Tam and Sevarun were more amused by how much he was annoying Severus than they were by the jokes themselves. When the poor man suddenly and inexplicably lost his voice, Tamara knew right away that it hadn't been a coincidence. She elbowed her husband in the ribs.

"You'd better put him right again when we leave" she whispered.

"I think his passengers would be happier if I didn't" he said, smirking.

In Central Park, Severus surprised Tam when he led them to Strawberry Fields, the memorial area for John Lennon.

"How have we been together for this long and I have never known you had any interest in John Lennon?" she asked him, shaking her head.

He gave her a mysterious little smile. "You don't know all there is to know, my dear. I still have some secrets. Incidentally, I used to listen to Beatles records with Lily when we were children. I have some very good memories associated with them."

"Who was he mum?" Sevarun asked.

Tam's eyes widened as she realized that though she was a music teacher, she had apparently sorely neglected her own children's musical education.

"He was a singer, songwriter, and musician" she explained. "He formed one of the very best rock bands in history."

"He was from New York?"

"No" Severus spoke up. "He was British."

Tam grinned. "He was from Liverpool, along with the others in the band. He moved to New York later on in his life, after the band had broken up. He lived right over there" she pointed towards the Dakota building. "With his wife and his little boy. One night, when he was going home to say goodnight to his son, someone killed him."

"With a killing curse?" Sevarun asked, his big blue eyes like dinner plates.

"No, with a gun. It's a muggle weapon. We can listen to his music when we get to your gran's. I'm sure plenty of my albums are still there. They'd better be, anyway."

Since Severus refused to board another bus, it was decided that they would make the trip to rural Pennsylvania by apparition. They ended up having to make their exit from the bathroom in the bar area of their hotel.

The farmhouse Tamara grew up in was on a hill in Northeastern Pennsylvania. Its location rather reminded Severus of their property back in Peebles, and he suddenly understood why she had been so keen to buy their home in the first place.

"Very nice" he commented. "Looks familiar, really."

Tam laughed. "A bit, I suppose."

A gray haired woman in a red shirt and blue slacks came out into the lawn to greet them. She was a few inches shorter than Tamara, but her smile was the same. Severus knew that this must be his grandmother in law.

"Hello there!" she called, smiling at the children.

"Hi grandma!" Tam said, putting her arms around the little woman. "This is my grandma Susanna" she said, looking happier than Severus had seen her in quite a long time. "Gran, this is Severus, of course, and Sevarun and Sevina."

Severus smiled. It was very rare for him to like people at all, let alone to know he liked them immediately upon meeting them, but in this case he was certain it was true. There was something about this little old lady that had instantly put him at ease. He wasn't sure if it was the big smile that so resembled his wife's, or just the friendly way she was looking at him, but he knew that this was someone he wanted to befriend.

"Hello Susanna" he said, flashing her a genuine smile that caught Tamara by surprise. He almost never looked at anyone that way.

"Did you have a nice trip? Supper's on the table, if you're hungry. There's strawberry pie, if you'd rather have that. Just out of the oven."

"Pie!" screeched Sevina, happily hopping up and down.

"Sure Honey Girl, come on in and we'll get you some!"

Tamara glanced at Severus, waiting for him to say that Sevina couldn't have any pie until she'd eaten her dinner. He said nothing, but simply chuckled and followed them towards the house.

"Dad must really like her" Sevarun commented.

Tam nodded. "He must."

Dinner was enormous. Tam had known it would be, because her grandmother always cooked enough for an army. There were actually two pies, and cinnamon rolls in the oven.

"I was a chubby child" Tam whispered to Severus, as he smirked at the massive spread of food on the dining room table.

"Understandably" he replied, amused.

Tam's brother Vector came in from the living room, followed by a large tan colored pit bull. The dog's tail was wagging furiously, and he immediately darted over to lick the children's faces. Once again, Tam was shocked that Severus didn't protest. The kids giggled, and when the dog bounced out of the room, they chased after him.

"Hey brat!" Tamara greeted her brother, grabbing him for a hug.

"Hey." He nodded to Severus, who nodded back. It was a satisfactory meeting among men.

"Your mother's still at work" Susanna explained, "but she should be here pretty quick."

As it turned out, Tam's mother, Patrice, arrived halfway through dinner. It wasn't a surprise. Tamara had warned Severus that her mother was a bit of a workaholic, and was almost always late.

After dinner, Susanna ushered them all into the living room. Severus settled himself in a cushy armchair, and Tamara plopped into his lap. Sevarun and Sevina were crawling around on the floor with Vector's dog, who they had been told was called Jake.

"It's very nice to finally meet all of you" Severus said.

"Oh, you too dear!" Susanna replied cheerfully. "Tami's written so much about you. It's been hard on us having her so far away for so long. I didn't know if we'd ever get to meet the little ones. I don't much like to set on a broom these days with my arthritis, and I haven't tried to apparate in years. Otherwise, I might have made my way over there to see you. I don't really like to go too far from home though."

Tam blushed. "It's my fault Gran. I should have brought them here long before this."

Her mother shook her head. "Don't worry about that. You're here now, anyway."

That night, tucked into Tam's old bed, Severus said softly "I'm glad we came here. As much as I've complained, I think it was important that we made this trip."

"Does that mean you're going to spend the month without anymore grumbling?" she asked.

"Don't press your luck… Tami."

His cheekiness earned an affectionate punch in the shoulder.


End file.
